ghost — you and i.
masterlist.
pairing : simon “ghost” riley/gn! reader
desc : simply put, ghost needs to come to terms with how he feels for you.
a/n : treat him right 🫵
simon “ghost” riley :
keep in mind that he’s a fairly traumatized person. he’s got his own baggage that’ll take a while to unpack and because of that he’s not exactly the most emotionally vulnerable person. it’d likely take him a bit to come to terms with what he feels for you. it’s dangerous for him and it’s dangerous for you; all it takes is someone with a vendetta to use his feelings against him. romantic feelings for someone?? gotta shut that down QUICK
initially, he may not realize he’s doing it but he drops little hints that he likes you as more than a friend or someone on his squad. perhaps it’s that he talks a bit more with you, sneaks glances at you when he thinks you’re not looking, or his grip on your upper arm may linger a bit longer than normal
when he comes to that realization that he harbors some sort of feelings for you, i feel as if he’d take the initiative to try and nip it at the bud by avoiding you or keeping contact with you to a minimum unless necessary. he’d swallow down the feeling he gets in his chest whenever you lock eyes with him and send a nod his way.
it’s detrimental to his work and possibly your relationship with him as friends or work partners (depending on how you know him). you’ve taken notice of his behavior, how he steps out of the room the moment you enter, how he pulls away from your grip on his arm like your touch is scalding when all you wanted to do was ask him something, or how he’s been more sarcastic with you than he usually is.
it hurts you and he can see that— he can see how you swallow down your pride and look the other way. but he believes it’s for the best, he believes that pushing you away will cause whatever he feels for you and whatever you feel for him, to shrivel up and die. (jokes on you simon, that’s not how this works!)
if you really wanted to pursue something with him, you’d have to make it known that you enjoy his company and want to be with him. you’d have to say it firmly and clearly lest you want to make him think that you’re fucking with him or he takes it as you being like “i like being around you, as a friend.”
might spark an argument with him going on a tangent about how he doesn’t want to put you in harms way simply because he cares about you and you care about him. (“this isn’t up for debate! i’m not putting you in harms way because you think that you love me.”) it’s not that he doesn’t want to be with you, god, anything but that. it’s just that he doesn’t want you to get hurt because of him— he’d never be able to forgive himself for that; it’d be blood on his hands that’d never wash away.
it’d probably take a bit to work out the fine details and lots of reassurance. you’d have to let him know that you’re with him throughout it all and that he’s the one that you want— not someone who works a 9-5 job, not someone who lives in the suburbs, not someone who lives a “normal” life, but him. you want simon “ghost” riley.
on the off chance that you don’t say anything to him about how you feel, he’ll carry those feelings with him until the day that he’s buried. (dead or alive haha) as much as it pains him, he believes that you deserve someone better. someone that won’t result in an untimely demise, or someone that can be there with you all the time.
