dolly

hello / 19

[99izms]

dolly / ‘04 / black girl, she:they

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masterlist / wip page / requests : open! / reading blog / ko-fi :)

this blog is rly just for txt, although other idols or groups may make a surprise appearance in these fics occasionally. also im kinda a whore for first person povs, which ive noticed isnt common in tumblr fics, so sorry if you hate those. sometimes i write in second person though!

[tyuncat]

in desperate need for some txt fanfics based on arctic monkeys songs, can someone make it happen plsssss

[99izms]

[99izms]

i love soobin so much i may explode

[99izms]

all of the hyuka fics for his birthday are so cute :3

[99izms]

i start a lot of fics but dont finish them lololol

[99izms]

goodnight : good morning

/ goodnight sweet possums (slice of life ?) 383 wc

when you look into yeonjuns eyes, your heart feels elated. he may have asked you a question, though youre not exactly sure. all you can hear is the look of his eyes turning into a smile and the way he slightly scowls when he does (you know he doesnt notice it himself).

he snorts slightly when he laughs, talking in the back of his throat through the chuckles. he stutters over his words often, misrepresenting his intentions and quickly jumbling more words together to fix his mistakes. you dont outwardly mock him for it, you instead bring your hands to the crook of his neck and his cheek. your smile widens when he gets embarrassed, and the only reason he doesnt hide his flustered face is because he knows you love seeing it.

when youre laying alone in his bed, comfortable under the sheets, you long for the moments where yeonjun crawls over your body and cages you in. thankfully, you didnt have to fantasize, he was home with you for the moment and telling you something. he may have asked you a question, though youre not exactly sure.

the sun is barely up, and yeonjun has to go. you dread the passing of time because it dislodges yeonjun from your arms, yet you wished it would speed up according to your need. oh how you missed him even as he was propped on all fours, possibly asking you a question, though you havent been listening.

you were so focused on his teeth and the noticeable length differences of each tooth that are marked as imperfections by many, yet you wouldnt trade it for the world, considering they made yeonjun, ‘choi yeonjun,’ rather than just yeonjun. (just yeonjun would be fine with you too).

“i love you,” you whispered, raspier than you intended. you had just woken up to say goodbye to the boy, anyway.

the boy closed his mouth, stopping any sentence he may have been saying (you know the schtick by now, right?) and let his eyes dart from left to right, taking in the features of your face hes investigated a thousand times over.

i love you too, was all he said before kissing both of your eyelids and tucking you in the sheets. “get some rest now, my honey.”

[99izms]

send me reqs guyssss i need inspo so bad🤠

[99izms]

i think ill post little stories cuz i cannot get real inspiration for the life of me sorry my loves

[99izms]

ugh i have no inspiration im having crazy writers block (´ｰ｀)

[99izms]

through the cosmos

/ kiss later (fluff) 2.8kct

lyric synopsis: even if i dont say it / you know how i feel / i like you too / i trust you too

“hey, y/n.”

i jump out of my seat, adrenaline filling my body.

when i turned to my side, i saw my attacker was just choi soobin, the man, or rather boy, who appears at 9 am every day, scaring me in every way possible. its the 164th day of him having this routine, and it gets me every time.

“i cant believe that still gets you,” he chuckled, rubbing my shoulders to ease them. its humorous that even he is confused how i never anticipate him.

the true reason i get scared every morning at 9 am on the dot is hidden behind my ribcage, pounding aggressively everytime i see him.

its common knowledge among our peers the way us two flirt. well, its really common knowledge the way soobin flirts.

he’ll look at you, a small smile in his eyes, all while listening intently to whatever unimportant tangent youre going on. he’ll nod as he listens, making sure you know how engaged he is. then he’ll respond with a quick smirk, licking his lips soon after, and then fiddling with his hands. in this specific situation, though, “you” is me.

in that case, its common knowledge that soobin and i mutually have crushes on each other. i never reciprocated physically, though, out of pure nervousness. once i start it’ll be hard to stop right? its better not to start in that case.

of course i trust soobin, why shouldnt i? he has great reviews around the campus. a solid 10/10 stars. he’s respectful, reliable and cuddly, that last adjective i awarded him myself.

he knows i trust him, and he trusts me too. he knows how to abide by boundaries and put others’ feelings before his own. hes wonderful in every sense of the word.

“how are you, soobin?” i pushed my lips into a straight-lipped smile, raising my eyebrows to show soobin that i really cared to know despite my sarcastic tone.

“well now that im with you, my love,” he leaned down to my level, lining our eyes. his right hand was holding my cheek.

before soobin could finish his sentence, i turned my head to the side, avoiding his lips. yet, it seems i couldnt keep the smile from creeping on my face.

“kiss later, soob.” i removed soobins hand from my cheek and gave him a nervous grin.

he accepts my request and finds his seat next to me, keeping his hand on the table next to me, open in case i decide to find warmth and comfort in his fingers. eventually i took his offer and subtly wrapped my pinky around his pointer finger.

im not very fond of my 9 am class, but soobin joining me on my daily escapades almost makes it worth it. key word: almost.

-

“lets go out tonight,” soobin said as he held my waist, looking down at me while awaiting an answer. we were on our way off campus after a long day of distracting each other with soft giggles.

i played with his fingers with minimal thought, my mind thinking about a date with soobin tonight. our fifth date.

soobin seemed rather traditional with labels. he believed in proper dates before officially announcing a relationship. he enjoys separating dating and being in a relationship. i, on the other hand, find us in an odd gray area. even in the 1950s, people were more touchy on dates, right? id enjoy being asked to be soobins significant other, but soobin has yet to ask.

“i have a lot of work to do though,” i said as my voice faded. his fingers danced on my waist, tickling me into submission.

“trust me, ill take care of all your work, just let me take you out tonight, please?” his soothing voice lulled me into agreeing. i smiled to myself, focusing on my walking feet while trying not to give in too quickly.

“it matters where we’d go.” i finally made eye contact with him, smiling at him playfully once again.

“how about the planetarium? theyre having a huge show tonight. flying through the cosmos.”

i nodded with a small pout, continuing to hold soobins hand that was holding my waist. my eyes found his once more, seeing that he was already looking at me. the corners of my lips turned up once more, seeing the way his pupils grew to fill almost his entire iris— it always happened when we made eye contact and i thought it was adorable.

-

“its the fifth fucking date,” yunjin muttered as she folded a shirt of mine, “you gotta give him something. he definitely deserves it.”

i rolled my eyes, knowing my friend has been saying that since the second date. since they first heard about me and soobin officially starting to date, theyve been begging me to slut myself out for their own gain. i love them for that, because i know for a fact i would do the same thing if i were in their spot.

“yunjin, sometimes people are more conservative with their kiss virginity,” my other friend, sieun, groaned.

“im not a damn kiss virgin. thats a stupid term anyways.” my lips rubbed against each other as i tried yet another lipstick shade. i started choosing so many different colors that they started mixing together as one color—maybe ill go with a stylish, yet unique lip stain, then.

“its just crazy you have thee choi soobin wrapped around your finger and, still, you never felt the urge to go ballistic and devour him, how havent you…y’know?” my third friend, chaeryeong, agreed with yunjin.

“trust me, chaer, i definitely wanted to. during literally every date my gut tells me to jump ontop of him and go insane, but then my mind gets foggy and my anxiety kicks in and then soobin has to take me back to his apartment to drink fucking pepto bismol.” i wasnt joking but everyone still laughed.

yunjin was on her knees, rummaging through my dresser drawer to complete her mission of living vicariously through me. she was definitely hoping id make a move just so she can hear all about it. she laid out at least five pairs of underwear and seven different short shorts and skirts. she started pulling out clothing items i completely forgot existed.

“c’mon, y/n, its gonna be dark and, like, literally who goes to the planetarium?” sieun asked.

“you do know theres a lot of astronomy students in the area, right? and gay girls who are obsessed with stars and shit,” yunjin giggled from the floor.

“he did say there was a huge show today. i doubt we’ll be alone-”

“so does that imply that there is a chance youll go jennifer check on him?”

i stared blankly, yet kept the same playful undertone thats been around the whole conversation. i quietly appreciated the pep talks everyone was giving me, letting my lungs catch slow and calming breaths to ease my nerves. my anticipation was growing, making me wonder how i ever controlled myself around soobin—i guess being all talk and no bite is one hell of a personality trait.

-

a complete silence filled the air, only the buzz of the street lamps outside my less-than-ideal apartment. i hardly ever have soobin over at the fear of him hearing some loud bang or routine scream from the sketchy people outside. its embarrassing, but its the best i could afford off of campus.

“youre so pretty,” soobin whispered, almost not allowing me to hear.

“and youre rather handsome,” i audibly smiled.

he was wearing a completely out-of-style pair of blue jeans and a much more stylish sweater over a white button down with the collar popped out. it was a bit chilly, but sieun told me i should put my style before the weather this one time.

soobin playfully bowed to me, allowing me to curtsey in response, holding my mid-thigh length black skirt wide, showing more than i intended to. to be fair, though, i have a feeling he was peeking at my halfway unbuttoned white dress shirt, purposefully, yet messily tucked into the skirt—this was entirely yunjins doing, of course. i almost caught myself insecurely caving my chest in, wanting him to look away, but i quickly imagined how it would feel to finally seduce soobin instead of it being the other way around. it helped that he looked so pretty in the dim light.

“shall we get a move on?” i joked, raising my eyebrows to try to wake soobin from my boobs’ amazing and captivating spell.

soobin shook his head slightly, yet quickly, and offered his arm. i took it, taking a quick glance at my friends through the closing door while they quietly cheered me on. almost immediately, a thousand text messages rolled in from the three stooges, telling me that theyll be out of my apartment by the next hour and that theyre leaving presents for me in my room.

i rolled my eyes softly and smiled, knowing they completely disregarded my telling them that i refuse to ever do anything sexual in my apartment. when i sneeze, i get at least three neighbors blessing me in response. i cant take the risk.

“oh, be careful, my love,” soobin mumbled, practically carrying me down the decrepit stairs, noticing how high my shoes are and how expensive they look. “your shoes are really pretty.”

i smiled, feeling very proud of the shoes i picked out myself despite yunjin adamantly disagreeing with the decision. it was the only part of my outfit i was able to choose myself. i whispered a timid, “thank you,” feeling my domineering confidence drain with the way i melted at soobins simple compliment.

after making our way to his car, he opened the door for me. i didnt get the chance to comment on the way he watched me attempt to cover my backside while crawling into the seat.

-

“its even colder in here, god,” i chuckled as we walked into the dome shaped building. just as chaeryeong assumed, there was hardly anyone in the building. the old man who worked the counter was kind, and very proud that there are still young couples that have the urge to stargaze in a country dying of light pollution. his eyes were sad and mine followed, then soobin looked in mine and frowned.

“i would give you my sweater, but im a fraud, and this collar is just a piece to make my outfit look good,” soobin said with a chuckle, pulling me into his body by the side. “i can agree to cuddling, though.

i agreed, holding onto his forearm that wrapped around my shoulders. we walked intertwined, finding our way to the specific room that the show will be. occasionally, i would cross my step to interrupt soobin, causing him to embarrassingly trip a few times over. he whined every time i did it, but hearing his distress was cute, so i continued as a result.

“ah, come on,” soobin dragged on his words, grabbing me by my stomach and waist, picking me up swiftly as he held me over his shoulder. although soobin didnt work out or have much strength in a traditional sense, natural and personal strength is something soobin prospered in. no one expects it every time he reveals it, even himself.

as soobin carried me, i felt my skirt rise inappropriately. i slapped his back and shoulder trying not to alarm the older man at all.

“soobin, my skirt!” i whisper yelled at him, but my warning only caused him to look at me with a smug smile and raised eyebrows, suggesting he wanted to take a look as a joke, though im not really sure if it was a joke. soobin quickly let me down and smoothed out my clothes to make sure i was presentable to anyone we may encounter.

there was a tired, clearly overworked teenager working the stand for that specific theater room. maybe she wasnt overworked, but i can only assume how much she doesnt want to be there.

“enjoy the show,” she lazily muttered to us before taking our tickets and locking the door behind us. there was only one other person in the entire theater, and it seemed to be another older person dead asleep in the corner of the rows. soobin and i held in laughs as we wondered how long this person had been there, and how long theyll remain. soobin led us to the opposite corner of the seats, the old lady kind of scaring us out of that vicinity.

my thighs rubbed together in anticipation while my eyes took glances at soobins figure. i watched the way his hands laid between his open legs, the way his spine slouched slightly, and the way he took many, many heavy and deep breaths. his eyes stayed away from me though.

i twiddled my thumbs until a slow rumble of inspirational music played in the surrounding sound system. the theater was pitch black and my eyes were on the ceiling, anticipating the start of the star of the show, literally.

a narration by an old man begins, babbling about how small of specs we are in retrospect while video of our solar system plays in the back. i began giggling at how outdated the information was; it still had pluto categorized as an official planet. the video was grainy and the audio was practically a snoozefest in the first three minutes.

“i thought you said this was a big show, soobin,” i whispered to him, nudging his bicep.

“i lie a lot to get you to go out with me, i thought youd know this already, y/n.”

he definitely had a point there. he lied a lot. not always on purpose, but it happened. its never really blatant lies, its usually just stretched truths. technically, the show itself is big, but just in the literal sense of the word. i accepted it though, since we’re alone.

i watched the ceiling, seeing how the big bang happened (all according to some random dude in the 1990s). there was one particular part i found genuinely interesting: only after 9 billions years did our universe get created post-‘big bang’, although many people perceive the big bang as the start of the universe itself; we always find a way to center ourselves in spaces we arent important.

as soon as i turn to ask soobin if he heard that fact, i caught him trying to quickly look away from me.

his eyes were scanning the ceiling, revealing a small nervousness i havent previously seen in him often. since we switched places, i decided i could make my move.

i straightened my posture, pivoting my body so i could comfortably face him. my hand found refuge on his neck, forcing him to bring his gaze to mine.

he was so nervous and it made me feel comforted knowing this was going to be as important to him as it is to me. he took a deep breath before holding my jaw in the palm of his hand, though he didnt pull me up towards him. he allowed me to pull him down into my lips, holding him so perfectly and exactly the way i dreamed.

i smiled into the kiss when i felt soobins body perk up and push deeper into mine. we separated quickly for air, but reconnected soon after. his head tilted to find my lips in the most amazing way possible.

it was dark once more, the stars molding into each other and disappearing in mathematical patterns. we couldnt see each other, and we couldnt hear each other well, but, still, we felt each other as deeply as we could. i felt connected to him, and im more than exhilarated to be with him.

starting makes it hard to stop, and part of me wishes i never started. our bodies drew closer, ignoring the physical barrier of the armchairs between us. my mind faded out any logic that, once upon a time, guarded my entire consciousness. i wouldve continued if soobins soft hand didnt gently push my chest away from his.

the removal wasnt harsh, it was honestly hardly noticeable, but i took the hint and finally separated from soobins lips.

“im so glad you made me wait for that.” even in the darkness, i could see the way his teeth revealed themselves behind his heavy breath.

“it was the perfect time, right?” i tried not to sound needy, but i definitely needed words of affirmation after such a gutsy action.

“i couldnt have planned it better.” his smile hugged me, and his hand held mine.

the narrator then said something about the never ending expanding universe: we will expand until swallowed whole by a black hole. it’s inevitable. our generation will be long gone before that will ever happen, so we shouldnt worry.

time will go on with or without us, and maybe a new wave of life will pop up somewhere in the multiverse, and the most we will be able to do is wish for the best for them.

i hope in every universe, theres a person watching the stars with someone who is willing to wait.

//

a/n: i wrote this way before the loona boycott, so, despite me saying that everyone should listen to the songs i write with before or after reaading, please avoid listening to kiss later! however, if you feel you must, please listen on soundcloud, theres a few reuploads of kiss later on there! i also kinda dont like this for some reason, but its always been a fic i had a soft spot for lol

[99izms]

an astral kiss

/ digital love (fluff) 1.7kct

lyric synopsis: last night / i had a dream about you

hueningkai couldnt help the massive crush he developed on you recently. everyone knows a lonely subconscious that finds its way to a close friend can be the most lethal thing to ones psyche. some people could even go from hating someone to having a desperate love for them after one inconvenient night. unfortunately for kai, a single cute dream where you two were too close for comfort has triggered the most painstakingly violent love for you, and he has no idea what to do now.

nothing much had really happened in the dream– well, nothing that soobin and taehyun had teamed up to mock him for after an inappropriate assumption. it was far more innocent than that.

he was just with you, dancing to fun, energetic music that he doesnt think he’d usually be interested in on a regular basis, but hes dancing with you in a dream, so its the best music hes ever heard. although he had heard many people say when love hits, everything quiets, kai noticed the music and rhythm became louder. your eyes glimmered and your arms wrapped around his neck. his stomach began to turn, but he still leaned in.

sun beams that shone through a somber bedroom window interrupted you two, much to his dismay. he laid in his bed for a moment before screaming into his pillow, knowing his relationship with you is forever changed after this god forsaken dream. he wishes he got to kiss you, though, since he probably wont have the chance any time soon.

-

“hi, hyuka.” your smile would usually make him happy, but only in a platonic way at that time, however, now? oh, now, he felt he could just melt to your feet at how sweet your smile looked suddenly. the word ‘happy’ couldnt possibly contain the vastness of how hopelessly he felt to be next to you. he didnt even need to hold or kiss you, he just wanted to be near you and see how your eyes squint when the corners of your lips curve upwards.

he wanted to always be the reason you smiled, and it made him ecstatic to know you were smiling at him currently. he wanted to be your jester, just so he could see the way you laugh so hard your eyes glimmer due to the moisture forming in them. he knew it would be difficult, though, only because he laughs at his own jokes too. he’ll try not to, for you.

when he hugged you as a greeting, it brought him back to the cruel dream he had, the dream that brought him so close to your lips then pushed him back into reality.

“whats up?” he said in faux calmness. his heart was racing.

you shrugged, taking off your shoes while telling him vaguely about your day. you told him about what you ate, the cute dog you saw on the street, how tired you felt, and anything else you think of. kai found it charming the way you told him nothing important, yet everything at the same time. he never knew the big things about your day, yet he knew the shoe color of a pretty old lady you complimented today. he loved your tangents.

“sounds like you had a long day, y/n,” he smiled, bringing you a glass of water while you flopped down on his couch.

you groaned and kicked your feet, agreeing semi-sarcastically. “you have no idea, babe.”

his heart jumped in his ribcage, wishing it could run to you in this moment and just hug you. maybe it should just be patient, itll have its time.

“i was gonna ask if you wanted to play this new game with me, but you should really take a nap.” kai sat in front of the couch, his head close to your face.

you looked at him with sympathetic eyes. you offered to play with him anyway, but he assured you it was alright to rest instead. he wouldve hated to keep you up for a selfish reason, anyway.

“do you want a change of clothes to sleep in?” kai asked.

he got you one of yeonjuns particularly comfortable hoodies—per your request—that kai stole from him and a pair of sweatpants.

kai didnt want to be creepy, so he didnt watch you sleep, but the urge was undeniably there.

-

there was a group of eight of your friends watching a movie that, honestly, kai couldnt repeat the plot of. he was watching the film through your eyes.

the scenes where the attractive male love interest was front and center made you smile the most, and, though hueningkai assumed he would be more jealous, he couldnt muster any negative emotions when looking at the small details that adorn your face.

he thought your eyebags were stunning, the cutest things hes ever seen. he loves the wrinkles surrounding your lips, because, as hes mentioned a thousand times before, your smile brings him to life. he always noticed how your lips get extremely chapped due to how often you lick them when you get anxious about something. your lips used to bleed a lot, too.

theyre all things youd probably become embarrassed about if he’d told you about this, so he never would, but he’ll always admire you quietly, and from afar.

“hyuka?” you asked.

kai realized you were now directly looking in his eyes, head cocked to one side.

“what? sorry, i didnt hear you,” he apologized before he began fiddling with his fingers.

“do you wanna go make more popcorn?”

you raised the popcorn bucket to show him it was empty. kai nodded and stood up while putting his hand out as leverage to pick you up. his hands perched on your waist while one of yours was on his shoulder. 

“that movies so boring,” you whispered over to hueningkais ear.

he furrowed his eyebrows. “you look so interested though.”

“cause the guy in it is cute.”

only then did kai feel badly, more insecure than anything. he had thoughts that he should work out more, maybe style his hair better, more similarly to the leading love interest in the boring movie. he got lost in his thoughts while preparing the bags of popcorn.

“do you think the girl in the movie is pretty?” you asked while throwing out the popcorn kernels at the bottom of the bucket your friends were sharing. the bucket was so large that some kernels didnt roll properly into the garbage, which gave you more of an excuse to avert your gaze.

kai didnt know how to respond. he hadnt been watching the movie, really, but he didnt have the guts to compliment you instead. hes not good at opening up.

“im not sure,” he mumbled as a cop-out, “i wasnt really paying attention to the movie. its pretty boring.”

you finally looked in his eyes and gave him an upside down smile. you nodded and blinked slowly before continuing to prepare the popcorn by his side.

-

kai didnt know what to do anymore. he didnt know how to be normal around you. he desperately wanted to be as close to you as he possibly could be, but he didnt want to scare you off. he started to bite his cheeks in punishment whenever his fingers tried to crawl closer to yours.

his friends noticed the way he looked to you first whenever he made a joke or asked for the groups opinion on something, and they noticed that he held his cheeks to cool them down when he thought no one was around to see.

“youve been looking so red recently, hyuka, are you feeling alright?” you asked, placing your palm innocently on his cheek and forehead, checking his temperature before realizing he was warm, but not feverish. “are you developing rosacea or something? have you been in the sun too long?”

the genuine concern on your face made all of your friends roll their eyes; theres no way youre that naïve. still, you caressed his cheeks gently, trying to check for any dangerous marks or bumps forming.

“hes fine,” soobin called out with a small smile, “he just feels embarrassed whenever hes around you.”

your eyebrows furrowed and you pouted, asking kai what you did wrong to have him suddenly become embarrassed around you. his body temperature raised to the point he felt he would pass out.

“fuck you,” kai muttered to soobin with a smirk, covering his face in shame before trying to find the courage to finally admit to you what had been going on for the past couple months.

your other friends laughed off kais curses and continued their walk down the street, leaving you and your boy to talk.

“whats been going on? youve been acting weird, and i thought i was reading too much into it, but clearly its you.” you crossed your arms, trying to read his expression for any sign of his feelings. as always, hes unreadable.

the butterflies in kais stomach were tantamount to the questions in your head, and, even if he could verbalize the love and admiration he had for you, there was no way youd understand it.

theres a point where the night meets day, where theres a sliver of time, a small moment where the essence of life exist, and yet, if forced to choose between holding life and you, he’d hold you tighter than he’d know how to. who knew that a dream where he didnt even get to kiss you would lead to love as deep as cleopatra and mark antony?

“i had a dream where we danced together at a party, kinda, and at the end we kissed, but i woke up before we actually kissed. ive been crushing on you super hard since then, and im sorry if this ruins the friendship, because i really appreciate your companionship and its okay if-“

you hushed him softly. a hand was lovingly placed on his cheek and you chuckled at how nervous he looked. “its alright, hyuka.”

he felt his eyes water. “is it?”

you nodded and ghosted the features around his face. he doesnt cry, and you didnt want to be the reason he does in this moment.

“it is,” you reassured, “and id love to go dancing with you. i think your dream was just a premonition.”

-

a/n: for some reason certain apostrophes were really bothering me while i was writing, so im sorry for the lack of cohesion on the grammar lol i know its annoying my bad

[99izms]

wip page :)

key: pink fics are on the shorter side; less than 3k words. purple fics are longer :)

i dont care ♪ ; beomgyu x reader (s)

beomgyu fucked up, and you both know that. it seems the moment you two are ready to reconnect is a time where your new boyfriend isnt too far, and neither is beomgyus new girlfriend. beomgyu couldnt care less about his reputation—how could he when he knows his name tastes so much sweeter on your tongue than whatever your boyfriends name is?

scandal ; taehyun x reader (s)

your choreography for your brand new song is unbelievably difficult, but it seems taehyun can help you out.

femmebot ♪ ; nerd!soobin x reader (s, f?)

in a society where sex-bots run rampant, soobin had always found an issue with them. it just never felt right…his solution? make his very own sex-bot femmebot thats perfectly to his liking! maybe soobin is too smart for his own good, though, since she seemed to gain some sort of consciousness…

the sugar line ; sex-worker!choi line x reader (s, f)

after spending hours studying in a local coffee shop, you received a business card from a considerably attractive young man. the sugar line, it read. when you call and realize its a sex hotline, youre mortified, yet intrigued enough to keep the line on.

onesie ; beomgyu x reader (s, f)

your childhood best friend, beomgyu, used to be able to handle dress-up when you started playing it with him. he used to enjoy it a lot, but, now? he feels too old to be wearing the cute onesies he wears every weekend, and his heart felt too muddled and confused once dress-up was over and whenever he realized that you two are still just friends.

something ; sub!soobin x reader (s)

you didnt think seeing your boyfriend cross dressing and performing something by girls day would affect you as much as it did, but once he came home with the pretty red lipstick still on his lips, you couldnt hold yourself back, now could you?

quickie ♪ ; taehyun x reader (s, a, f)

he doesnt want love, he wants sex, and so do you. whats the issue?

[99izms]

the writings i have posted make me look super serious and sad omg i swear i can be funny just give me some time n ill post some silly fics

[99izms]

papercuts

/ kiss it better (angst, sexual themes, fluffy ending) 800ct

warnings: the writing includes sensitive talk of unenthusiastic sex, please be cautious

lyric synopsis: ive been waiting up all night / baby tell me whats wrong

do you remember those times as a kid when you hurt yourself in some way and someone would tell you itll be okay, then theyd kiss the pain away?

youd say thank you and tell them it felt all better, but that wasnt true, was it?

i used to assume we all lie when someone kisses our pain away just to make them feel better— theyve done the best they could after all, but ive seemed to notice, after asking around, the papercuts did feel better after a big kiss.

those moments when the heat from our cheeks turn from anger into passion might confuse others, but i knew what the line was and when we crossed it. i could tell which tears on my cheek were beomgyus and which were mine. i knew how to hold him when he hiccuped after our kisses, his nose still red and his eyes still puffy.

no one likes arguing in relationships, but a lot of people like making up. i dont.

there was an odd feeling whenever i looked into his eyes in the middle of the action. he held me close and his hands grasped at me like i was disappearing, but my heart and stomach hurt in a routine way every single time we made up.

i enjoy being with him, i enjoy engaging with him sexually every time we do, yet i cant help but feel that kissing papercuts is the childish version of bandaids over bullet holes, and thats just the hyperbolic version of make up sex.

as a kid i never admitted to anyone that my wrist still hurt after someone said they put enough love in it to heal it, i didnt want to cause a big fuss. im still not sure if i want to cause a fuss, but part of me felt beomgyu noticing the way i would pull away.

the most recent time we argued he paused while inside of me, holding my cheek. my stomach was hurting when i looked at his long eyelashes and flushed cheeks.

“whats wrong?”

i shook my head and tried to get him to continue, not wanting to face the issue. instead, he pulls himself out of me fully and lies next to me.

“baby, tell me whats wrong,” he whispered into the dimly lit room. i almost couldnt see him, but ive studied his face for so long, theres nothing about his face i could miss, even if my eyes were closed.

the sobs from the argument that laid dormant started flowing again, this time into beomgyus chest rather than his cheeks. then the feelings from three arguments ago started pouring out, then four arguments ago soon after. (two arguments ago wasnt a large detriment to me, as it was largely my fault. i couldnt feel sad for that one.)

i clawed at his body, not sure if i wanted to hurt him for hurting me. how fair is that if he thought he was making it right?

still, he let me scratch him. i scratched at his shoulder, as close to his back as i could get, his chest, his neck. i scratched at him, and it felt cruel but the tears clouded more than my eyes. i scratched at him until i felt the scratch turn into a raised bump, soon to bleed.

i tried to rub the tears and drool away from my face before attempting to nurse beomgyus wounds before they worsened.

he shook his head quietly, contrasting my erratic behavior violently. his hands held my head and brought it back to his chest.

his heartbeat began to patter as it does when he cries, but he placed his hand on my head, forcing me to lay and do nothing else. my only option was to lay in his hold and sleep, so i did.

when i awoke, i looked at beomgyus sleeping body. his chest was red and bumpy, but not nearly as bad as i had thought it would be. his nose and eyes were red too. maybe he had wiped the blood off himself.

my hands ran up his body, feeling his chest, neck, and cheek. i watched the way his eyelids occasionally twitched in his sleep and thought about how cute he looked when he was calm. i thought about how noticeable i mustve been last night. i thought about how maybe arguments can actually end now.

i leaned over and kissed beomgyus eyelids softly. he opened them soon after, telling me he thinks his tear-burned eyes needs an ice pack after how horrible last night was for both of us. i smiled and told him id get him something to help.

i thought about how kisses dont make everything better, but that was never the point.

[99izms]

the hour wasnt blue, but it wasnt orange either

soobin x f!reader (fluff, maybe angst if you think hard) 1.2kct

synopsis: meeting under grey skies and hurt hearts opens the doors to a life that will flash before your eyes if you let it, so savor every moment you have with those you love as long as you can.

the sky was slightly overcast the day we met— soobin and i. the color was a steel blue, although another mightve seen it as darker. i couldnt have seen it as darker when he appeared at the end of the street and saturated the entire scene, if even for a moment, or by a slight percentage.

his hair was blond and hardly toned, and i wouldnt have cared if i didnt have an interest in him. you wouldnt care enough to kill someone you didnt love; you wouldnt care enough to make fun of someone you didnt love.

love mightve been pushing it at the time, but i stared at him until he stared at me. i stared at him until he smiled at me. i stared at him until he began to walk towards me. and then smiled at him.

“hi, do you need something?”

his question wasnt aggressive or accusatory like i was used to. he was kind with his words, even if he had no other intentions. i also wasnt used to that.

i couldnt reply, i just looked into his eyes.

his eyebrows furrowed and his hands ghosted by my biceps, not wanting to touch me. his mouth opened slightly and his lips were naturally pouting.

“are you alright?“

i nodded and finally opened my mouth. “youre really cute.”

he chuckled and took a step back.

“you made me worried, i thought you had a stroke or something.”

i looked past him slightly, although the objectively darkening sky made it increasingly difficult. at the bus stop was a little boy with a small, pink balloon. his father was tying it on his wrist with a smile while waiting for their ride back home.

-

the sky was a pale gray when i woke up in his arms. rain tapped on the window, and i pretended to be asleep when he began stirring awake. he whispered to me while rubbing my thigh under our sheets. his hands smoothly moved from my waist to thigh repeatedly, but i continued to fake my sleep.

he pulled my leg over his waist and pulled me closer.

“ill make you breakfast if you wake up.”

my eyes remained closed for a moment.

“you wouldve done that anyway,” i whispered into his chest, “i know you.”

he kissed my head and caressed my entire body, moving from between my shoulder blades to my lower back, between my thighs, innocently of course, and back around to his starting point.

he told me how much he enjoyed every part of me and how i moved naturally. he liked how my body grew naturally, and what it grew naturally. he accepted every choice i made joyfully and smiled when he kissed me in the morning, horrible breath and all.

-

the sky was a dark, tired blue when soobin was hugging me goodbye. our oldest child had her arms crossed, claiming she was tired of waiting to be finally taken to her next stop in life: college.

“i was in college when i met your dad, you know.”

she was annoyed all summer when i was repeating that phrase to her. she could mime my love story with soobin perfectly at this point, but i didnt care.

i kissed his neck softly.

at this age, we joked about how our skin would sag, and our sex drive would be dead. we would have laugh lines and our eyesight would be gone. despite all that, it wasnt true, and his skin felt as soft on my lips as it did when we were twenty and lay in bed all those nights ago.

i moved my body from his to our oldest, hugging her tighter, knowing shes a physical representation of everything soobin and i have made in our lives. of course shes her own person, yet when i look at her i cant help but see the eyes ive loved for decades over, and he tells me her smile fills his heart the same way mine does.

she hugged her younger siblings and waved goodbye to us, sending us kisses while entering the passenger seat.

when soobin returned home to us, he told us she was quiet with tears the whole ride out of the city.

-

the sky was a pitch black in the mid day when the love of my life died.

he wasnt the love of my life, thats far too tame to describe him as.

if he was my body, he wasnt my heart, he was my veins and the blood inside. he wasnt my will to live, he was my life, and will always be. now that hes gone i feel my body is cold and my feet are numb. my brain is foggy and i believe im undead.

he wasnt even my veins and blood inside, he was the soil i lived on and thanked the universe for creating. he birthed every greatness in my life, and gave me the depression i knew i needed to appreciate the greatness in question.

and at some points he wasnt the soil i lived on, he was the god i worshipped and wouldve done anything for. the amount of monsters i wouldve slain for him, my braided hair tucked into my suit of armor and sword pointed to the heavens, is countless.

i wouldve stabbed myself between the eyes if my darling had asked me to, and i almost did beyond his request.

however, he asked me to continue living for him, and it was the hardest mission i would ever think to do for him.

he asked me to love our kids and continue happily, so i did as long as i could.

he asked me to not die of a broken heart, to not die even with a broken heart, and i am trying, but im not sure if i truly could.

alas, i will try for him

-

the sky was in the perfect blue hour the day we met again— soobin and i. although another mightve seen it darker (lord look over our wonderful children), the day was perfect for us.

soobin always hated seeing our children cry, especially our oldest, she always implied she wasnt the crying type. the youngest encouraged crying and believed it was healthy. the oldest hated it, and soobin understood. seeing her cry made his heart hurt— well, whatever is the remains of his technical heart. his soul, maybe.

he held me while we watched, and i asked him if he watched us mourn him too. he confirmed and i felt pity.

“you were alone.”

“but i knew it was just a waiting game. im not alone forever. my parents eventually saw me again. i eventually saw you. and, unfortunately, we’ll see them again.”

i nodded and pushed further into his body, or form, or whatever we are now.

by the ends of our life, our skin was sagging, and we didnt have the energy or physical ability for sex anymore, but we didnt mind it like we assumed we would years ago.

our love was truly infinite and with every moment that time passes, and with every change of physical appearance we underwent, we loved each other even more.

[99izms]

masterlist!

key: fics marked with ♪ are written based on the song stated as the title. id recommend listening to the song at some point to really enjoy the fic as intended

-

soobin

the hour wasnt blue, but it wasnt orange either (slice of life ?)

kiss later (fluff) ♪

yeonjun

goodnight sweet possums (slice of life ?) ♪

beomgyu

get well soon (hurt/comfort, fluff) ♪

kiss it better (angst, sexual themes, fluffy ending) ♪

taehyun

still writing...

hueningkai

digital love (fluff) ♪

[99izms]

disconnected

/ get well soon (hurt/comfort, fluff) 377ct

lyric synopsis: deal with it / dont try to get by it

my brain felt fractured, and no one could see it. theyll give me useless advice that ill accept with a fake smile before thanking them. ill tell them my head is getting cloudy and excuse myself before crying in the bathroom.

beomgyu never gave me useless advice, though. i didnt even have to tell him about my broken brain, i think he could just tell.

“i think we should order in for dinner,” he yells from the couch.

“i dont have the money for that,” i sigh.

“dont worry about it, i just dont wanna cook.”

-

beomgyu never tried to solve my problems, he knew they weren’t necessarily solvable. he enjoyed waiting up for me, watching me work into the ungodly hours of the night before holding me so tight that i would stop asking him to buy me a weighted blanket.

“i feel like youre strangling me,” i mumbled into his chest.

his hands continued fondling me and i felt his soft chuckles reverberate through my skull. i felt warmer in his hold than i would in a blanket, but definitely less comfortable. still, i wouldnt trade the experience for the world.

-

oh how i wish i was okay.

i wish i was healthy and perfect, i wish i wasnt overworked. i wish i was better than i currently am.

every time i cry silently, scolding myself for not being good enough to my own standards, beomgyu doesnt ask me to explain— he gives me a downwards smile and stands behind me with a hand on my shoulders. soft coos find their way to my ears, and although i cant really understand them through my overwhelming thoughts, it always felt nice to know beomgyu was nearby.

eventually when my sobs calm down, beomgyu will say something along the lines of, “youre doing really well, you know.” ill nod and wipe my eyes, sniffling softly before raising my head to meet my gaze to his.

hes always just as beautiful upside down as he is rightside up.

“im gonna go get some candy and we can just fuck around for a bit, okay?”

i nod every time he offers.

“ive always got you, y/n,” he whispered with knitted eyebrows. “just call me, no matter the issue.”