BSM,

I'm lost in you and I don't want to be found.

[9bsm]

“Can’t wait to watch this dream bloom in front of our eyes. Can’t wait.”

— BSM

[9bsm]

Don’t teach me how to say goodbye.

— BSM

[9bsm]

“I appreciate every second with you. Every little moment is sacred to me. I’ve been through a lot in my life already so I’ll never take anything for granted. So every little thing counts. You’re always on my mind. When I wake up. When I go to sleep. I want you to be my first and my last breath. My first and my last heartbeat. To keep you always running in my blood. The eternal art of loving you.”

— BSM

[9bsm]

When you call my name you put the stars in the sky.

BSM

[9bsm]

There is night. There is dawn. There is sunrise. I am completely in the dark, waiting for the first sun ray to light up the sky. I am exhausted. But I can’t sleep before the sunrise, because that’s when I’ll know everything is fine. That’s when I’ll see you clear and all my fears will fade like the stars in the sky. —  BSM

[9bsm]

“My mind is stuck. I haven’t been able to write for a few days. I just won’t stop thinking about the same.

When will we meet? When will I finally kiss you? I’ve been dying to kiss you for so long. How can I know when it will happen? When can I know when it will happen?

I need the answers to all of these questions. I’m hoping to know them very soon...”

— BSM

[9bsm]

It hurts. Not knowing when we’re finally gonna bloom our lavender together. It hurts so much.

It hurts not having a way to make it bloom faster.

Our future holds such a messy road. With a lot of bumps on the way. We just want to get to the final destination...

I know all of these challenges have their purpose. They make us stronger and bigger. But it’s so frustrating that we have to go through all of this.

We are young. We are glowing. And I want to be able to glow next to you, before the glow fades away. Before the world gets too cruel and dark.

I want you to paint my days blue. Not because it’s a sad color, but because it’s your favorite one.

Cliché phrases never sounded so good. But I want you. I need you. So much.

And everytime I look someone in the eyes they’ll know my pain. They’ll know I miss you. And they’ll know I’m in love and there’s nothing that can be done.

— BSM

[9bsm]

“You fall asleep,

I forgive.

I just wish

You could dream

On my chest,

While my hands touch your face

And I watch you sleep.

The night I finally do it

I’ll be the happiest love giver of all time.”

— BSM

[9bsm]

It’s beautiful. Like you. Like you and me.

— BSM

[9bsm]

“No scale could weigh this pain. No one can make it better but you.

The day I’ll first lay my eyes on you I’ll be completely healed.

Life is tough, but I’m tougher. Lavender will keep growing throughout this cold winter. I’ll keep July in my heart and I’ll keep blooming for you.”

— BSM

[9bsm]

Hopeless.

— BSM

[9bsm]

“Wherever I go.

Whatever I do.

I feel like there’s always something missing.

And I can’t enjoy myself to the fullest because there’s a hole in my heart that needs to be filled.

It’s called ‘saudade’.

The strongest feeling a human can hold.

The most painful but the most beautiful one too.

And I really miss you.

You’re part of me.

Part of my world.

Part of my body, soul and sweat.

I need you here with me.

Come home, stay and never leave me.

Please.”

— BSM

[9bsm]

“I hate myself when I make you feel sad unintentionally. Because I never mean it. And it breaks me.”

— BSM

[9bsm]

Tomorrow.

— BSM

[9bsm]

“I hate this, but I can get jealous very easily. I wish everyone knew you’re mine. I want to be yours in front of everyone.”

— BSM

[9bsm]

“To being. With you.”

— BSM

[9bsm]

“How do you keep lavender alive?

I’m impatient...

But lavenders grow and bloom.

With patience.

My body is filled with lavender fields waiting to be watered. But still growing everyday towards the sun. Waiting for July to bloom.

With proper care, lavender will survive for years. In our garden.”

— BSM