SLEEPINBLAVK

Bi and depressed and a mess

[a-blavkhope]

I want to meet new people 👉🏼👈🏼

[banshee-princesse]

[a-blavkhope]

Just kill me now

[a-blavkhope]

I can’t believe this happened again...

[a-blavkhope]

I’m a sad mess

[cherryking]

i understand why old people sit outside just to sit outside

[a-blavkhope]

Update

So i got diagnosed with depression two days ago. For a year i went to a psychologist and i told her everything about my suicidal ideations and traumas and shit and she never diagnosed me with anything. This month i decided to go to a new psychologist because the other one was not helping me and 1 appointment was more than enough to make her say that I’ve been depressed for years and that i need to go to a psychiatrist to take antidepressants. All this time I thought that it was just things that i invented on my mind and turns out it’s not. It’s real and I don’t really know how to cope with reality.

[australiansanta]

[a-blavkhope]

How are you?

Not that great tbh

[a-blavkhope]

Little update i guess

So i know none of you give two fucks about me but i just wanted to update you on all my life because sadly I haven’t really been active here and if anyone even cares im sorry

So this year i went to college and i moved to a new house (where I actually made 2 friends that i think might be really good ones but we’ll see). From the outside I haven’t changed much i made a tattoo and i have a new hair color but that’s basically it. Mentally I’m still not okay, my therapist hasn’t helped me at all and on my last appointment she told me that I wasn’t depressed because I didn’t take any antidepressants so yeah I definitely think my choice of finding a new one is great the thing is I know im depressed but i barely have any time to think about myself because I’m always surrounded by people and that makes it slightly easier to live day by day but my urge to kill myself is still the same and the void inside me is still pretty much a thing.

That’s basically it. We’ll see if i can live til the end of 2020 (which i doubt).

I know no one cares but I really am sorry for being this distant but if someone ever needs someone to talk to or something I’ll always be here to answer and talk and listen and anything.

[pessimisticfvck]

where is everyone? i’m lonely, i’m hurting

where is everyone?

[pessimisticfvck]

i’m done caring, i’m done feeling things, i’m done trying, from now i’m just a numb and empty human being walking on this earth and i won’t let anyone close to me again

[pessimisticfvck]

there we go again, that’s it, thank you have a nice day everyone i’m a disappointment and i’m hurting so bye

[ohh-zara-deactivated20210417]

imagine getting a mental notification for every single time someone thought about you

[pessimisticfvck]

my mind would be as quiet as my phone

[voguepetite]

I hate it when you know you’re fat, but then you see a picture of yourself and it’s like

oh

I’m that fat

[1617]

i don’t want to feel feelings anymore

[animatedtext]