Call me Harley!

"Face it, Harl, this stinks! You're a certified nutso wanted in twelve states, and hopelessly in love with a psychopathic clown."

[a-certified-nutso]

When a pair of cute shoes in a store window caught Harley’s eye, she almost squealed. Then she caught a glimpse of the price tag, and her grin faded. Too expensive, part of her said. The other part said that they were really cute and she wanted them. She knocked lightly on the glass to see how thick it was. The window wouldn’t be hard to break. Then she’d be off, a new pair of shoes included.

But then she stopped herself. She had yet to be arrested in Fake York, and was a pair of shoes really worth breaking that streak? Prison was never fun, and she was in no hurry to go back. Not if it wasn’t worth it. So she sighed, said “Oh well. Someday,” to the shoes, and turned around to head off. Until she heard a noise.

“Hey! I know someone’s there! What’s the deal? I didn’t do anything -- didn’t even touch ‘em! I can’t be in trouble yet!”

[a-certified-nutso]

kxradanvcrs:

“Why do they call you crazy? Hopefully the real reasoning behind what you do is good, but it all really depends on what you’re doing, I suppose.” The blonde responds and tilts her head to the side. “Have you been here long? I just got here weeks ago.”

“I dunno!! You put on some clown makeup, swing a mallet around, and fire a few guns, and all of a sudden, you’re classified as criminally insane! I’ve even got fancy paperwork provin’ it and everything. Doesn’t make sense to me...” She thought for a moment. “I wonder if that paperwork still applies to Fake York? I’ve only been here for a little bit, too.”

[a-certified-nutso]

angcrismsx:

“the hulk doesn’t really pay attention to whos buildings he’s destroying – he just kind of does it.”

“Aw. Well, in that case, maybe I don’t wanna meet the Big Guy after all. It was hard enough finding somewhere after everything went all backwards, and my place ain’t exactly Hulk-proof,” Harley said. Even though she wasn’t exactly invited to, she decided to help herself and take a seat anyway. “... What’cha workin’ on?”

[a-certified-nutso]

kxradanvcrs:

“That’s a good answer, I would probably get well acquainted with the ground if I were to ever skate.” She says with a laugh. “It’s a pleasure to meet you as well, Harley.”

“Y’know? People always say I’m crazy, but if they’d just ask, I usually do have reasons for what I do...Not everyone always agrees that they’re good reasons, but they make sense t’ me!” Harley answered, laughing a bit. She seemed to recall being called the walking definition of a loose canon.

[a-certified-nutso]

fallenrxbin:

jason let himself be dragged around by harley as she rambles off ideas && things to get for ivy. he tries to squish down the smile that’s been slowly growing on his face, however his efforts were futile – as it stays there while the blonde continues on her ramble. “ sure i guess. i have no idea what you just said but i guess it’s a start. ” he shrugs a bit, but he knows that either way, it’s not like harley would care about his input. once she’s determined about something, she would never, ever let it go. giving a small glance around the various items put on display, the vigilante wonders how long has it been that he’s in a mall with someone else. honestly, he doesn’t ever recall going to a mall before – after all, he was busy with school && being robin as a child. things like having friends, going to the mall or hanging out with people never really occur to him at all. all he cared about in his life was surviving, learning && being robin – it was his life, part of what makes jason todd, jason. maybe he did go to one once, but the memory never existed for him – perhaps dead along with that fourteen year old from nine years ago. “ hey how about this? ” jason reaches over to grab a necklace with a pressed flower in the middle && shows it to harley for judgement.

Well, Harley always did like shiny things. When she saw the necklace Jason picked up, the sparkles caught her eye. “Ooh, pretty! And the flower suits her,” she said. “Aw, heck. Guess it looks like you didn’t need my help pickin’ out the gift after all...but -- ooh, maybe if it was a choker instead?” she thought out loud. It was a nice gift, but she couldn’t let them pick something out too early. That wasn’t nearly enough time for what constituted in Harley’s mind as a proper amount of socialization. “Keep this one in mind, but let’s keep lookin’ in case we find somethin’ better for her. Ya never know.” It seemed almost like a joke: The Joker’s hechperson and a former robin walk into a mall. And yet, even if she wasn’t doing this (partly) to make sure Jason wasn’t going to get too lonely, she found that she was enjoying herself all the same. Sure, Jason needed friends, whether he knew it or not. But Harley also needed this -- normalcy. A day without any fighting, explosions, crime, or some wacky, convoluted scheme -- a day to just enjoy herself without worrying about any of that. She liked the craziness that was part of her regular, daily routine, of course -- but even she didn’t realize when she needed a break.

[a-certified-nutso]

angcrismsx:

bruce raised a brow at the woman. she was strange, that much was clear. “well trust me – i don’t think that you would like it after it actually happened.” he stated.

“Well, maybe if it was my building that was getting smashed,” Harley admitted with a bit of a shrug. “But if not? That’s not somethin’ you get to see every day. I think it’d be neat!”

[a-certified-nutso]

kxradanvcrs:

“Is there a reason that you’re just..skating around?” She questions with a small, but warm, laugh. “I guess I’m not like other people then..I mean, I’m still very much so average of course, but anyways, no harm done! I’m Kara, by the way.” 

“I like skating!” Harley explained. “It’s faster than walking. And more fun!” She grinned. “Pleased to meet’cha, Kara. Call me Harley!”

[a-certified-nutso]

fallenrxbin:

jason scoffs at the other’s statement about having friends, he didn’t comment anything instead opting to stay silent. ( he thinks about the outlaws && the challengers. sure, having friends is nice, but there will be a time where he will have to leave them. or, them leaving him. because lets be real, they have better things to do than to stick around with someone like jason. it’s wrong for him to have things like this because he isn’t real, jason todd is dead. && what came out of that grave surely isn’t that kid who died but a monster – an abomination ) giving a small hum, the noirette looks over at harley with an amused look on his face. “ well i guess i am not too oppose to you two robbing places. i have a list if you want some recommendations. ” if someone told jason when he was robin that he would end up being somewhat on a questionable friendly term with harley && ivy as an adult; the young boy would’ve thought you were tripping on something. && yet here he is, going shopping with harley quinn of all people – && shopping for a gift for poison ivy’s grand store opening. “ well then, should we get going? i feel like this is going to be a very long shopping trip. what does ivy even like? ” ( it’s an odd experience, but jason’s life had always been some kind of an exception. && honestly he’s kind of thankful for harley’s bubbly company, even if they were enemies before. he would never tell anyone or admit it – but yea, he is lonely in this world )  

In her excitement, Harley let out a little squeal. “Yay!! Long shopping trips are the best kind! We’ll go to the mall first -- Ivy’s favorite brand of lipstick just came out with a new line, and it’s got this shade that’ll be just perfect for her!!” She said enthusiastically. By the time she finished the sentence, her excitement got the better of her, and she was pulling Jason by the arm towards the nearest stores. She started rambling a bit, shooting off her ideas as she walked. “Or maybe she wants new shoes? Or, since it’s for a flower shop opening, maybe we should get something flower-shop related? Cute little planters n’ pots and things! But I bet she already has a lot of that stuff...” She said, thinking out loud by that point. “Ah, I don’t even know! It might be best if we just look around -- I think I’ll know the perfect gift when I see it.” The blonde grinned, seeming very pleased with herself and what she had accomplished. She was determined -- especially after he scoffed at the very mention of having friends, of all things -- he was going to spend time with people, whether he liked it or not. 

[a-certified-nutso]

toxickissvs:

Emeralds practically lit up when she saw the familiar face of a close friend. “Kiddo!” She exclaimed before returning the big hug. She squeezed her tighter, burying her face into her neck. “I’ve been around! I opened up a flower shop…. All my new deadly beauties.” She chuckled evilly. “You should come see it.”

Harley wasn’t about to be the first to let go -- of course hugs from Pamela were always welcome. The blonde’s smile only widened as Ivy squeezed her. “Of course! I’d love to see it, Red!” she exclaimed. “Now that I know you’re here, maybe this backwards place ain’t gonna be so bad.” 

[a-certified-nutso]

fallenrxbin:

at the mention of ivy, jason gives a small smile towards the blonde. he always liked it better when harley was with ivy than the clown bastard. sure they caused trouble, not never harmful trouble that would make him concerned. they also tend to stay away from his territory, leaving him alone with his own things – unless they’re bored && wanted to do something fun. “ she’s opening a new flower shop here in fake york. she gave me an invitation just a few days ago, if you want. you can come with me to the grand opening. ” the noirette says it in a nonchalant manner, “ i haven’t found a gift to give her for the grand opening. if you don’t mind,” jason paused a bit before redirecting his glance somewhere else, “ you can come and give me a hand in gift picking. ” at the question of his own situation, the vigilante gave a shrug, acting like he didn’t care at all. “ what’s a dead man got to look for? i’m perfectly fine here. i mean now you && ivy are here, i think i have enough things to deal with on my plate ”

“Even a dead guy’s gotta have friends!” Harley insisted, a bit of concern creeping into her bubbly exterior. She couldn’t help but think that he had to be awfully lonely. “You know what? I think I will take ya up on that shopping trip. It’ll be fun! I know what Ivy likes, I’m sure I could help ya out...And then maybe at the after-party she and I really will give you ‘things to deal with’ -- cause some trouble, rob some places. Whaddya say? Sounds like we gotta reputation to uphold!” She joked (probably.) Jason might have been annoying to fight back when he was Robin, and she’d never want to get on his bad side -- but she always thought that he wasn’t such a bad guy, really. And no one deserved to be alone. So if she could do something to make his life a little less lonely, god damn it, she was going to do it. Or maybe she just really liked shopping. Not even she always understood her own motivations for everything -- and she never did have a reputation for being predictable. In a confident, deciding gesture, she put her hands on her hips. “It’s settled, then. I’m goin’ shopping with you later. No backing out now, buster, you’re stuck with me!”

[a-certified-nutso]

schxtt:

if winn flinches at the touch to his shoulder, he hopes the woman doesn’t notice. or at least, point it out. “if i say i don’t want to talk about it, i’m basically admitting i have something to talk about,” he says, trying to smile. “so, uh, yeah? it’s just- daddy issues central, really.”

She did notice the flinch, and instantly felt bad. She moved her hand away, mentally kicking herself. “Ya know, you shouldn’t down-play that. I’ve seen first hand just what ‘daddy issues’ can do to a fella.” She paused. “Talk t’ me, hun.”

[a-certified-nutso]

kxradanvcrs:

 Eyes widened when she noticed that the other had actually fallen, reaching down to help her as Harley gets up by herself instead and Kara just awkwardly smiles, dusting off her own outfit even though she hadn’t fallen nor gotten anything on it thanks to her reflexes. “Alright, perhaps it was both of our faults. I’m just fine, thank you and yeah, thankfully I didn’t or that would have been a mess.”

“Glad to hear it!” Harley replied with a grin.  She did one more look-over to double check for injuries, and rolled one roller skate without moving forward to make sure everything was still functional. “Lotsa people would be hurt pretty bad if I knocked into ‘em going that fast. So I’m glad you’re alright! And no messes to speak of! No harm done.”

[a-certified-nutso]

toxickissvs:

She never wanted to leave this new world. Half the population didn’t know who she was— what she was capable of. It was her own little hunting ground. So it was no wonder that she found herself in a quaint little bar. Red locks bouncing with every step she took. She found her way to the bar, each movement of her body secreting pheromones. “What’s a girl gotta do to get a drink?”

“Ask nicely,” Harley answered to catch her attention. A grin slowly spread over her face until she couldn’t contain her excitement anymore. “Ahh!  How’ve you been? Where’ve you been? Ahh, it doesn’t matter. It’s so good to see ya again! I could use a friendly face after all the backwards shenanigans. I missed ya!” She moved forward to engulf her friend in a big hug. 

[a-certified-nutso]

angcrismsx:

“listen – you don’t have to worry about me.” bruce said to the other as he continued to work on his current project. “i haven’t hulked out since we got here and i don’t plan on it.” he had to admit, he was worried that at any moment the hulk would come out to play and he honestly wasn’t sure if he would ever come back from it. after everything that happened on sakaar and asgard with thor, bruce was convinced that if he turned into the hulk, that he would never come back.

“Worried?” Harley repeated. “No way, I’m not worried -- it’s the opposite! I don’t have any problems with the Big Guy! I like what I’ve heard about the fella. When you hulk out -- that’s what you called it, right? -- do you really get as big as they say? I heard you can smash through buildings and stuff! Gee, I’d love to see that!” She was a bit hyper; perhaps she had drank too much coffee that morning. But her energy and excitement were evident in every word she spoke. 

[a-certified-nutso]

fallenrxbin:

“ i stopped running with the stupid bat because your mistah j fucking killed me harley. i didn’t really wake up one day and went ‘ oh wow, you know what? i think it’s time for me to make a career change && be professionally dead ’. ” jason quickly snapped back at the other, anger bristling through his body. at this point, he stopped listening to the other, ( mostly because his mind is still reeling from the memories of the incident ) instead he close his eyes && tightly holding his arm from lashing out in anger. ( if he keeps his eyes open, he might mistake harley for that asshole from the blurring anger && he knows that there will be no one to stop him from beating the shit out of her. all because he can’t control his lazarus fucked brain ) he tries to take deep breath && push away those snipping voices from his mind, but it’s so hard when he’s still so consumed with his anger && sadness. ( jason tries to distract himself with random things, like recipes he saw earlier on tv; or the image of the puppy he’s been visiting lately at a local animal shelter ) the noirette kind of snap out of it when the blonde asks him a question, he opens his eyes again && just stayed silent for a moment. “ it’s fine i guess. ” jason forces his body to relax, to focus back on the conversation instead of the curling anger that’s boiling within his body. “ finally able to do what i always wanted to do. ” to rid gotham of those filth that’s corrupting it, to protect && give the justice that the people of gotham deserve. to do what batman couldn’t do. when the other reassured him that it would be fine, he gives a small reluctant nod, “ && what about you? how have you been lately? ” 

“Hey, hey, no need to get hostile here, alright?” Harley said, putting her hands up in a non-threatening gesture. She wasn’t there to intimidate -- or make him get angry or snappy. She just wanted a conversation. She couldn’t help bit grin a little. “Almost forgot about that temper you’ve got. But, y’know? I’m glad the solo gig’s working out...and me? I’ve been alright. Just adjusting. I still don’t know if I like it here. Fake York, they’re callin’ it. And fake is right. Everything’s all backwards and I haven’t -- “ She stopped herself before she could continue. She was going to say that she hadn’t found ‘Mistah J’ here yet -- and she probably would’ve gone on about how she missed him. But based on Jason’s previous reaction, she figured even mentioning the man would be a bad idea. “I haven’t found everybody I’m missin’ yet -- except Ivy. I’ve heard she’s around, I should go find her. I miss her...” she said. “What about you? Have you found anyone you’re looking for?”

[a-certified-nutso]

kxradanvcrs:

With a latte in one hand and a notepad filled with different pieces of paper sticking out of them in her other hand, Kara was making her way to where she was currently living because she wanted to start up on dinner and maybe invite up some of her friends but as she continued down the road, she looked down for a moment to catch the slipping paper and in that second, she felt somebody hit her shoulder, blue orbs widening when she remembers that hitting her felt like hitting a brick wall so it hurt them more than her. “Oh gosh, I’m so sorry about that! I looked down for a moment and wasn’t paying attention, are you okay?”

Harley usually could roller skate down the streets just fine -- she’d done it enough times before without any collisions. And yet she found herself on the ground, grateful that no bare skin had scraped against the pavement. Years of gymnastic training and run-ins with a certain caped vigilante and his colorfully-adorned sidekick had made her able to take a fall. She got to her feet, brushing herself off.  “Yeah, yeah, I’m alright. It’s party my fault, I was goin’ pretty fast. You alright? Hope you didn’t spill your coffee!”

[a-certified-nutso]

fallenrxbin:

jason was taken back to see harley quinn standing before him, and he quickly narrows his eyes because it could only mean one thing. “ yea. you can take a hit because that ever so lovingly boyfriend of yourself keeps on beating the living shit out of you. ” the vigilante quickly clench his fingers back into fists as he growls out the words with nothing but venom && anger. ( someone better fucking pray that the asshole isn’t here as well because jason needs to have a little chat with him about a certain incident from nine years ago ) “ also it’s not in my job description to stop you from breaking the law. i don’t do that kind of shit anymore. that’s batman && robin’s job. ” he crosses his arms across his chest, eyes narrowing dangerously.  ( that was the past, a past that was brutally beaten and ripped away from him before he knows it. he doesn’t want to think about it any more, it only serve to remind him him much a failure he was - the imperfect solider ) turning his face away, jason sighs a little. he may have a thing against joker, but harley? he never really minded her. sure she had her crazy shit at times, but she never truly killed someone for the sick twisted fun of it. ( && mostly because he feels sorry for her, to love someone as morbidly insane && demented as the joker. to allow herself be abused in ways indescribable in the name of love. that loyalty earned her respect from jason, but also pity because she could do better than that )  “ do you want some ice for that? it was kind of uncall for. ”

Harley rolls her eyes dramatically. She isn’t going to hear this -- any of it. “Hey! I don’t wanna hear ya talkin’ bad about Mistah J. Besides, you used be the one who was runnin’ around with B-Man, if you don’t forget. But now, since it’s not in your job description anymore, then you have even less of a reason to punch me! Even if I was breakin’ the law! So yeah! It was uncalled for. Sheesh! Can’t a girl get a break?” Maybe she was getting a little too huffy, but she’s offended -- and now her cheek is sore. It seemed like even when she was minding her own business, the universe or whatever ‘powers that be’ just wouldn’t leave her alone. But she knows Jason doesn’t deserve her overreactions or her snapping at him -- so she just sighs and tries to make herself calm down. “I really am alright, though. Don’t worry about it.” A pause. “How’s that solo gig workin’ for ya, anyway?”