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Adrien's Lesson in Kuro Neko: Realizing Who He Really Is

Once again I am here with my nonsense to discuss how not only was Kuro Neko great for giving us insight into our heroes and their character, but it also allowed the characters themselves to learn something valuable about themselves.

In this ask about the episode I mentioned that Adrien's lesson was this:

Make Adrien see that he is more than his mask and that neither are him but that he is the sum of many parts and worth more than he thinks, a direct sequel to Lies and Desperada.

I talked about Marinette's lesson here, but in contrast Adrien's is a lesson many of us knew for a long time but that he never seemed to realize; that neither of the masks he wears are who he truly is. That much is obvious, but it also came a long way in challenging some of the cognitive distortions that have been plaguing him this entire season (and honestly probably since before we met him). We also learn here why Plagg is the best kwami for Adrien, because in addition to showing Adrien unconditional love he is also pretty much his therapist (and this comes from an actual therapist, he pulls a lot of therapy strategies and I will explain djkfhds)

I've mentioned before how in Desperada Adrien falsely internalized the idea that his only worth to Ladybug is as Chat Noir. Then in Lies, he reaffirms that idea in the artroom scene by splitting himself into separate persona, believing that one is more him than the other.

Maybe when I'm clowning around...I'm really me.

It seems almost like Adrien's depression has always been there but was held at bay, until a catalyst to set it off. Throughout Lies, we start to learn that Adrien doesn't even like himself as Adrien. In Truth, we hear this from Adrien after he and Ladybug defeat the akuma:

Truthfully, it's only with you that I have so much fun.

I mentioned in my Adrien has Clinical Depression theory but I forgot to elaborate but this is a huuuuge red flag for me as a clinician, because it implies that Adrien's one source of joy is his time with Ladybug. It's something we often see in depression: over-reliance on one person or one thing is not a good thing and it can often put a lot of strain on the relationship, because if that relationship goes sour it can have a drastic effect on the depressed individual and the other person.

Which brings us to where we start in Kuro Neko. He and Ladybug have been having major communication issues that unfortunately play on his worst fears. And that's part of the reason why he doesn't join the heroes when they're fighting. He has talked himself into believing that he's unneeded and unnecessary to the fight, that he is replaceable.

Putting the rest under a read more because this somehow became longer than my Mari post oops I guess I should have seen this coming.

It's almost like he's waiting for his worst fears to be confirmed, like he's readying himself for it. When I wrote about Marinette having Generalized Anxiety, I mentioned her having frequent cognitive distortions and we can see Adrien has been falling into thinking traps all season. In this episode alone I see mindreading (assuming LB doesn't need him), filtering (focusing on feeling left out as opposed to why more heroes might be helpful), personalization (thinking he's useless when they win without him), and probably more that I'm missing.

(This is why I can understand why Adrien stans feel he's being mistreated this season. They are deeply empathetic with Adrien's plight and feeling what he is feeling. Therefore, it makes sense that when Adrien is feeling excluded, his fans will feel anger on his behalf. That's a sign of good writing in my opinion, because you are supposed to feel what the characters feel, but I digress.)

This is also why he acts the way he does when he does meet up with Ladybug, asking if she's angry to get some sort of a reaction and for her to say something that reassures him how much he's needed (and she kind of has a right to be, given he's missed a few other battles and the one at the beginning of Ephemeral he never explained and he was definitely needed for that one). But Mari isn't a mindreader and Adrien is unfortunately talented at masking his emotions and true thoughts, so she isn't going to give him a favorable response.

So they have their argument, where their lines get crossed and Mari having no idea why he's been acting this way, and gives Plagg his ring. Because to him, all the cognitive distortions he's been dealing with have been confirmed in this moment and he makes a drastic decision because he has hit rock bottom.

This also plays with the fears he has around his father, where Garbage doesn't give him any time and treats him almost as an afterthought. That's why this is the first thing Adrien thinks of: because this is unfortunately what he's grown up learning. He doesn't realize what a healthy relationship looks like, because to him he only knows the twisted love his father shows where his love is conditional and relies on being useful. His worth is determined by how much others need him, and his distorted thinking traps have led him to the wrong conclusion that he is not needed.

Ladybug loves him, but since he only knows what it is like to be spoken to and never heard, he doesn't even really bother trying to explain how useless he feels. His father has just ingrained that sense of uselessness deep into Adrien, who's internalized it to the point where it's what he truly believes. Now he thinks he's useless as both Adrien and Chat Noir, and so he gives up.

Then we get to see my personal favorite part of the episode, a full blown depressive episode (no joke I squealed and started smiling like an idiot dskjfhds)

He removes all reminders, lies awake at night and stays in bed all day, lies about feeling alright and hides himself from others, sequesters himself in his room and avoids school (Adrien! Chooses! To Stay! In his room! And not go to school!), ignores the literal theme park in his room to play video games without actually enjoying himself. Just a mind-numbing activity that requires little brain power, just something to pass the time.

But luckily at that moment Plagg arrives, and I know that we have been praising Plagg for being the MVP of this episode but I don't think folks realize just how incredibly he was because he pretty much single-handedly brought Adrien out of his depressive episode. Take a look at how Adrien changes after Plagg comes back.

His expressions change in that scene alone, he changes his clothes and spends his night doing things and actually participating in the world. As I mentioned here, Adrien venturing out into the world was behavioral activation for him but Plagg effectively does the same thing here by encouraging Adrien to create and doing something new. This is more behavioral activation and that is so awesome to see here because as a therapist this is what I try to do everyday with my depressed clients and seeing this play out on screen is wonderful because now I can point at this scene and go "see~!" with my clients and ahhhh im so happy!!!!

Plagg says he tricked Ladybug into a plan for the Chat Noir but what he also did was effectively trick Adrien into getting out of his depressive slump by giving him something to do. Which is great because he's doing something!!!! He is actively pulling Adrien out of his depressive slump!!!!!! A million camembert for you Plagg, because who knows what might have happened without him.

(Seriously the kwami even uses reflective listening and legit therapeutic techniques I can't believe I have to say this but I think Plagg is one of the best representations of therapists I've seen in any media dfhjdsjkf)

Plagg gives him back his hope. For an optimist like Adrien, that's what he needed most.

And Plagg also knows that the one person Adrien is NOT is that perfect, serious model boy his father thinks he is, and that's what he tells Adrien to act like.

What he's also doing is encouraging Adrien to challenge his distorted thoughts by literally putting them to the text: If I act like someone I am absolutely not, I will finally be useful to Ladybug. It's myself that's the problem. So I will prove it.

But as we and Adrien both learn, that is absolutely not the truth.

And when Adrien acts like someone he's not, it's all wrong. He and Mari's partnership is all disjointed, yes, but it also doesn't feel right to him. And it's because of all the times we've seen him, this is where he puts on the biggest act of them all. He's acting like who he thinks his father and what his distorted thoughts tell him his lady wants (though she proves to him by the end that Cat Walker isn't at all what she wants.)

He does everything perfectly, the way he thinks the perfect hero in Ladybug's mind would want him to be, and he gets proven wrong. Similarly, when I work with clients on challenging their distorted thoughts we look for evidence that proves or disproves it (and most of the time, there is always enough evidence to disprove). That's what happens here for Adrien; he gets evidence that Ladybug doesn't want the perfect hero, she just wants him.

Actually, the best way he saved the day was by doing something Adrien would have done. He returned the child's kitty. The perfect hero Cat Walker would have waited for Ladybug's order, she wouldn't want him to run off. He wouldn't have acted on his own. But Adrien, both in and out of the mask, has shown again and again that above all he is compassionate and he does what he knows he needs to and reunites the kid with their kitty.

He's also able to help Ladybug when she spirals, something that Chat Noir is the best person on the job for. (Allow me to plug my Puppeteer 2 agenda here sdkjfhds). That scene where he's backdropped by the moon is another one that is more Adrien than Cat Walker, if you look at the smile he's showing that is not at all like the professional smile he showed earlier. It's the compassionate one that he shows as Adrien and Chat Noir, and that is why Marinette blushes. Here he's dropped the ruse, for a moment letting his real self shine.

(I do have some qualms about some of the dialogue here but I am saving my judgement of that for when the french dub comes out)

And of course we have the lesson Adrien has been working to build all season, said by the number one therapist Plagg (Portuguese to English translation):

Adrien: Your grand plan didn't directly work, Plagg

Plagg: Are you kidding? It was even better than I'd planned! See you later, serious cat. Finally, we'll get to be the cool cat again!

Adrien: And what if I can't? What if I can't go back to being the old Chat Noir?

Every word there was meaningful. Plagg was right all along: Adrien isn't the serious cat, and he needs to stop those distorted thoughts from telling him that. His compassion was what saved Ladybug and that little kid, not his ability to follow protocols or directions. It's the cool cat he's always been.

And Adrien is of course a little scared and nervous about it, but Plagg reassures him with the most important lines of all.

Plagg: Relax! Be yourself, and he'll be back in two cat jumps!

Adrien: But, does that mean that Chat Noir is my true self? Deep down?

Plagg: You are not Chat Noir! But you're also not Adrien! You are both of them! You are the perfect and successful son in everything you do, but you are also Chat Noir who wants to live your life and have fun! One doesn't exist without the other! I'm glad to have you both back!

Again, I have some issues with the exact wording but the message here is clear. At the end of the day, Adrien is Adrien, in and out of the mask. Despite what his worries might say, he is not useless at all. And it doesn't matter what type of mask he puts up front, it's the person that's at the center of it all. He is both, and after all this time I think Adrien has finally learned to see that too.

The very last scene mirrors the one in Hack-san because once again, Adrien is being vulnerable. But he's still showing one more cognitive distortion (minimization) where he is focusing on what he is doing wrong instead of what he needs from Ladybug, but at least she's learned this time how he's been feeling. There's still some tension at the end, which tells me that there might be some more that needs to be resolved between them. But at the very least, Adrien is beginning to finally see his true worth, not just as Chat Noir, but as himself.

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