Ghost In My Head, A Snake in my bed

Alex. 23 years old

[a-ghost-is-all-that-remains]

I'm sorry I hurt you.

I'm sorry I ruined everything.

I was dumb. I was wreckless and impulsive at the time you were in my life. I was on a path of destruction. I destroyed myself that year. I drank, a lot. Not just out of guilt, but to deal with my own demons. I went to work, I came home and drank. If I went out anywhere, I came home and drank. When my mother would relapse, it was my excuse to drink. If my dad was having problems, it was my excuse to drink. I would sneak off, drink, and then sober up before people around me noticed. I stopped taking my meds, unless it was to attempt to kill myself. I tried, almost succeeded if people would've left me alone to finish off the benadryl. I got pink slipped once I was stable, then forced into a institution. I hated myself the whole time. I wished they let me die.

I haven't ever gotten better, but maybe I'm improving. I take my meds regularly now. I think about people's feelings more. I stay in my home 24/7, because I feel the whole world hates me. As they should, because I did a lot wrong. I talk to my family more, which overwhelms me. So in turn, I drink on my bad days. The bad days when I know my siblings aren't safe going to their mom's. The bad days when I remember all the mistakes I've made, when I remember my mamaw is gone, that all of my friends are gone. I blame myself for all of it.

In therapy, I blame myself for everything. But I mostly turn all of my problems into jokes. My therapist can't get me to be serious lol. I got diagnosed with DID, which kind of sucks. I usually pretend I don't have it, because I still think the doctor is wrong. I finally got my meds figured out mostly. Right now, most of my misery is situational haha. I lost my grandmother in March. I watched her until she died. I lost a baby a couple weeks ago. I found out my little sister has to have surgery because of something horrible that happened to her. Something that could've been prevented had her mother listened to me. I've been around my dad more, which is very triggering and makes me want to disappear.

Besides all of that, I wish I could tell you this. My attempt was not your fault, at all. What happened with us was a case of me already spiraling, and my attempt was a direct result of my own mindset. You were a good friend and deserved much better. I'm sorry.

[a-ghost-is-all-that-remains]

Oof I found an old account haha

[pikaole]

As your wish

[pikaole]

Not today

[ashleyrguillory]

Some pride cats designed for a patreon pattern. They're napping.

[thecaptainpit]

In the afterword of roe v. wade being overturned, the Supreme Court has stated that they wish to “correct the error” of prior Supreme Court rulings. The current rulings that they plan to undo include: griswold v. Connecticut, Lawrence v. Texas, and Obergefell v. Hodges, these being the right to contraceptives (birth control, CONDOMS, and the like), the right to same-sex sex, and the right to gay marriage respectively. THESE ARE VERY IMPORTANT TO THE UPHOLDING OF HUMAN RIGHTS AND THROUGH THE PRECEDENT MADE WITH ROE V. WADE BEING OVERTURNED AND THE RIGHT TO MEDICAL PRIVACY BEING TAKEN AWAY, THERE IS SERIOUS DANGER TO ALL OF OUR RIGHTS, I IMPLORE YOU TO DO MORE RESEARCH AS WELL AS MAKE A PLAN FOR IF BEING A MINORITY BECOMES A CRIME IN WHATEVER STATE YOU LIVE IN. Please make a plan, and stay safe, feel free to copy this wherever.

Thomas calls for overturning precedents on contraceptives, LGBTQ rights

Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas on Friday called for overturning the constitutional rights the court had affirmed for access to contra

Thomas wants the Supreme Court to overturn landmark rulings that legalized contraception, same-sex marriage

In a concurring opinion to the Supreme Court's ruling to overturn Roe v. Wade, the conservative jurist called on the court to overrule a tri

[weltenwellen]

Sylvia Plath, Winter Trees

[missinyouiskillingme]

„Yes, hearts can break. Sometimes I think it would be better if we died when they did, but we don't.“

—Stephen King, Hearts in Atlantis

[samatedeansbroccoli]

I think it's important for people to see just where the bombings in Ukraine have taken place. Just to show that this is even bigger than I think most people outside of Eastern Europe realize.

Source

[theforcekeepers]

DO NOT DO THIS.

This makes me so angry.

If you work in a movie theater and you do this I have no respect for you.

My younger brother is Type 1 Diabetic.

When we go to a movie theater, we always get him diet soda. If he were to get regular when we asked for diet, we would not give him the insulin he would need for it. If that happens, his blood sugar level could go so high he could go into a coma, go blind, or even die.

If somebody gave him regular soda instead of diet without telling us, that person could be responsible for a nine-year-old being killed or blinded.

Just thinking about that makes me so angry. I get scared every time we take him to a movie in case the people working there saw this picture and decide to do the same thing.

Please signal boost this so people know.

[wreckedupbarnes]

This also applies to baristas

[kimchicutie-deactivated20180618]

Fun story about the baristas doing this kind of shit. 

I am very sensitive to lactose, not Lactose intolerant but because of stomach ulcers that are still healing. A couple years ago I went to Starbucks right after my classes with some friends and asked for a green tea latte with soy milk. The barista, for some reason out of malice and/or hate for her life so she took it out on me, gave me whole milk in my latte.

5 minutes after my first sip of latte, my stomach cramped BAD. Not the “Oh! time to poop!” kind of cramp but it felt like someone had stabbed me with a knife and twisted it. Now I’ve had this happen before so I knew the cause of it. I went up to the barista clutching my gut screaming at her that she put dairy in my latte rather than soy LIKE I REQUESTED. She denied it and called me a “pretentious white girl for wanting soy”and so my friends got the manager. I had to explain that I had stomach ulcers that were still healing and if I were to go to the hospital for this incident, they would be responsible for it.

Manager flipped his shit and the barista was terrified out of her mind. Pretty sure both thought i was gonna sue. Manager actually fired her on the spot because of the negligence. My friends managed to get me home in one piece while I stayed home for 3 days in absolute agony and missed my midterm.

So remember kiddies, if someone is asking for Diet or “Skinny” or “soy” or anything that is not regular, give them what they requested because it may not be them being healthy, but a dietary need that can possibly be life or death

[housebuiltbyghosts-deactivated2]

also if they ARE trying to be healthy you should give it to them to!! Its not your decision to police or question others food choices!!! 

also im lactose intolerant AND ive had stomach infections/ulcers so i feel this. 

[cartoonkatelyn]

I have Celiac Disease, so I’m very gluten intolerant. When I go out to eat at restaurants a lot of people just assume that I asked for my food gluten free because of the gluten free diet fad (which is usually a bullshit diet btw). 

Last month I went out to dinner with a friend at an italian restaurant that had a small gluten free menu. I had been there once before and had their gluten free pasta and it was great! I think one of the managers had been there and was super helpful when taking my order to make sure that everything was gluten free for me. When I ordered the gluten free pasta again this time though, the waitress who took my order all but rolled her eyes at me. I didn’t think much of it at the time, because the restaurant was so accommodating before, I just assumed it would be the same this time.

But sure enough, they brought out my pasta, I ate it, and about an hour later I had extreme stomach pains and was throwing up (in a movie theater no less).

Barfing and agonizing pain aside, eating gluten when you have celiac causes a lot of internal damage that’s hard to notice. The biggest thing is that it damages your intestines, preventing your body from absorbing nutrients properly, which can take months to heal.

So PLEASE, if you work at a restaurant or anything with food and someone asks for something a certain way, please listen to them and don’t just disregard someone’s order. It’s not funny and it can have serious consequences.

[somethingnottooclever]

I will reblog this with every single story about someone getting sick because of an asshole giving them the opposite of what they ordered until it sinks in for everyone.

[sailornightfury]

Recently on the news a 16 year old boy with a dairy allergy had gone to eat at IHOP with his family. The specifically asked if they could make dairy free pancakes and they said yes. Not too long after he had a reaction and was rushed to the hospital. This kid died because the was dairy in his pancakes that they asked for no dairy. His epi pen that his mother had wasn’t enough to help him. I know working in fast food or any job that’s serves food and beverage sucks but not as much as causing someone to get sick over negligence.

[obstinate-nocturna]

My youngest cousin – who is now five, he just started kindergarten – has Celiac’s disease. You would not BELEIVE the amount of times I’ve heard my aunt say she’s ordered something gluten free, only to watch the waiter or waitress’s eyes go huge when she gives it to my cousin – my cousin with the medical id band on his tiny five year old wrist proclaiming I HAVE CELIACS and have to take it back. Shit like this could kill my cousin. Knock it the fuck off.

[iopele]

I cannot tolerate caffeine–it makes me have chest pain and a racing pulse, and also gives me horrible body pain, so I always ask for decaf if I order coffee when I’m out, and doublecheck with the waiter/ress when they bring it. but instead of saying “is this decaf like I asked for?” I always say “oh, did I remember to order decaf?” I shouldn’t have to act like I’m the forgetful one (because I know damn well I asked for decaf) but it seems to work better than implying that they screwed up when I take the blame on myself like that. and if there’s any hesitation when they answer, I tell them, “if there’s any doubt, please get another one, or just give me water–if this is regular, it’ll mess up my heart” and lots of times when I say that, they look alarmed and go change it or get another one. 

but I shouldn’t HAVE to share my personal medical history with strangers just to get my order right! no one should! how is it their business? it makes me really uncomfortable to have to do that. JUST GIVE PEOPLE WHAT THEY ORDER!

[minnigem]

I’ve reblogged this maaaany times before but there’s a few new stories on here so i’m doing it again.

cut this shit out

[willowfae82]

don’t be that kind of asshole.

[untapdtreasure]

As a diabetic, this would make me so beyond angry. Skinny doesn’t mean they don’t have a life threatening illness. Skinny doesn’t mean they can process sugar the way you do. People that do this are the worst kinds of people. DO NOT DO THIS!

[forgetsuperman]

Me and my family went to a restaurant a few years back and one of the dishes we ordered was made with wine vinegar, which I am allergic to, so we asked the waiter to skip it, and he said sure, no problem, that’s fine. So my food gets to the table, and I start eating and then my throat closes and I can’t breathe and then I start coughing and throwing up right there in the middle of the restaurant and it was very fortunate that I was with my family and they knew what was happening to me. I had to be rushed to the hospital, and admitted, and I came damn near close to having my throat cut open so I could breathe through a whole on my neck. Because they put wine vinegar in my food when I explicitly told them not to, because they were assholes, and I could have died. They probably didn’t mean to hurt me but they did. I missed class, and work, and, again, I COULD HAVE DIED.

[cowthropologist]

i have cyclic vomiting syndrome and can’t tolerate dairy or red meat. violating my dietary restrictions triggers an acute episode, and i have to be hospitalized and given iv saline, ativan, and anti-emetics to stop the (extremely painful and incapacitating) vomiting. if somebody put regular milk instead of soy milk in my latte and i didn’t notice the taste immediately, i could wind up in the er and then spend several days in bed recovering, eating nothing but saltines and dry toast and clear liquids until my body was able to tolerate food again, unable to work or go out or do anything besides rest. whenever i go to starbucks, i WATCH them make my drink. cvs episodes are horrible and i hate them, and i can prevent them if i do everything right, but that means my damn barista has to cooperate. if somebody decided i was a stuck up white girl and gave me whole milk instead of soy they could put me in the hospital and cost me days of income. give ppl the food they fuckin order. it’s not that hard.

[voltspice]

Reblogging because it’s so important. I’m “lucky” I don’t have any food allergies or intolerence, but it makes me mad when people take them not seriously, think you are picky or just following a “white girl diet fad”.

90% of people don’t take my cats and dog allergies seriously when I tell them I’m allergic and wondering if a cat or a dog is present at X place. They think it’s just watery eyes. Nope. Well yeah, watery and itchy eyes, but I start wo wheeze and have trouble breathing. They don’t give epi-pen for those (anyway you have to go to the hospital after) just inhaler. It’s no miracle, specially if I didn’t take other meds before.

When people tell you about their allergies or restriction, trust them!

[40yodater]

Reblogging for all the stories here because this is sooo important! 

I have a severe allergy to gluten and relate to MANY of the stories above. My daughter has a severe allergy to milk fat, and I have had to hold her hair many times while she vomits on the side of the road because we couldn’t even make it home from the “accidental” whole milk instead of skim. 

[greenteamoon]

I’m super lactose intolerant so accidental milk is always fun. Severe diarrhea, stomach cramps, bloating, and gas like you wouldn’t believe. Better than death you might say but, I have other medical conditions, so that diarrhea could lead to vomiting(it’s so bad the vomit comes out my mouth AND nose) and dehydration that in turn becomes low cortisol and adrenal crisis. A bitchy barista can land me in the hospital with an intramuscular shot and saline iv. Hun, it takes no time to listen and follow my order. It takes me at least 24 hours to get out of the hospital. Be nice.

[cleverclovers]

I’m allergic to pork. Legit allergic. I can’t count how many times I’ve had to ask it off my food only to receive it with bacon or ham or something on it.

Please respect peoples food requests. It costs 0.00$ to not be a dick.

[prismatic-bell]

I actually have customers who say they’ll only eat at my restaurant when I’m there, because they know I require all policy to be followed, as in “I will kick you the fuck off your shift if you skimp,” if someone says the words “I have an allergy.” I developed our allergy policies, for that matter, because what we had in place before was “I guess you shouldn’t change your gloves … . ?” On my shifts your gloves get changed, that line gets wiped down with a new cloth, paper under EVERY ITEM for the person with the allergy, bag their food separately to prevent contact. If there’s a risk of cross-contamination with an allergen, like tomatoes in the guac because stuff spills when you’re moving as fast as we do, I’ll open a new bag of food. I learned the ingredients in every item we serve so I could advise people on hidden allergens (e.g., there’s a small amount of wheat in our beef as a thickener; we fry with safflower oil). We have a grease pencil to mark special builds and I use it liberally on allergy orders. If all of this sounds like overkill, you’ve never watched a child suffer from anaphylaxis. I don’t play around.

Like, I bitch about my job a lot, but food allergies and special needs are not something I will ever bitch about. Even if you’re a complete asshole I won’t risk contaminating your food. (Although people with allergies seem to be way nicer than the general population, I gotta say.) Don’t do it. If someone’s a petty asshole to you, give them too much ice in their drink. Don’t play with their health.

[tired-philosopher]

DO NOT FUCKING SCROLL PAST THIS P L E A S E

[iambloggingthat]

Reblogging this again because it is important. Doing the right thing has no cost but doing the wrong thing can cost a person’s life. Don’t be a dick, give the person what they ordered

[blueberryymacadamia]

yes, finally this is on my dash

[toothyblowjob]

luckily i haven’t had many problems with this but if someone gives me an “accidentally” non-decaf drink after i’ve taken my meds I WILL OVERDOSE. don’t fuck with ppl’s orders.

[haunteddhowell]

i have severe allergies to gluten and dairy and large amounts of sugar make me really sick, and i cant imagine what would happen if someone did this to me. dont scroll past this.

[foolblue]

My partner is extremely gluten intolerant, and really badly sensitive to it. He’s very chill about the whole thing, but every time we go out to eat, a part of me is absolutely terrified - it wouldn’t kill him, but I can’t bear to see him in the pain that he goes through when he accidentally has gluten

[rainbowbutterfrosting]

Imma just… hit that reblog button.

[oki-joki]

Many in my family have severe gluten allergies and lactose intolerance. If there’s a lazy food handler, that could severely hurt them. Please don’t be lazy with food. It can kill and incapacitate people.

[aif0s-w]

Hey this is really important please read and reblog this post

[funkykongishere]

One more thing. Even if they don’t have an allergy or a restriction, doesn’t mean you can just do whatever you want to. Some people like soy milk over whole and some people just really don’t like shrimp. IF THEY ASK FOR SOMETHING, GIVE IT TO THEM. DONT BE AN ASSHOLE!!

[deep-space-siren]

I have something to add

I don’t have food allergies except for my lactose intolerance, but I am allergic to sunscreen and I’m autistic, giving me textural issues. On both of those I have story.

When I was 12, I went on a trip with my school. They gave our parents a document to list our allergies, and for some reason they didn’t want to list mine. They said it wasn’t severe enough and that I just shouldn’t apply sunscreen. During the trip, the teachers noticed I never applied any sunscreen so they told me to put some on. I said that I was allergic and they said that it wasn’t on the form, so I was making it up. They forced me to put on the sunscreen. The next day is was redder than a lobster and had bumps over my entire body. The teachers said to apply more sunscreen because they thought I had a sunburn. I told them it was an allergic reaction and they finally stopped pestering me.

Tw: self harm mention

About the autism, I have very bad food issues. Both textural and taste-wise. If I eat something I can’t stand (think tomatoes, any kind of fat, most vegetables etc) I will go into a sensory overload and it will mess up my day, if it doesn’t trigger me into relapsing in self harm, which will fuck me up on a way longer term. When I order my food without tomatoes, it’s to keep me from seriously hurting myself because of a meltdown. And I probably won’t eat my food if something gross touched it, because I just physically can’t

[chaos-goblin-time]

I’ve only seen about halfway through this on screenshots on Pintrest.

FUCKING GIVE PEOPLE WHAT THEY GODDAMN ORDER. DON’T SCROLL PAST THIS

[theprideful-deactivated20251201]

I ordered some popcorn a few years ago and not one of the venders thought it was worth mentioning that they fried the shit in fucking peanut oil. my face, lips, and tongue went numb and my throat closed up. luckily I didn’t have to be hospitalized because I stopped eating as soon as I realized.

another time (this was like a year ago) I ordered a caramel milkshake from DQ, and as I was drinking it, a weird squishy thing got sucked up into my straw. I spit it out and realized it was a strawberry. I’m allergic. not deathly, but it does make the skin of my mouth become irritated, sore, and fall apart.

i also always ask for my food without pepper on it because I have a pepper allergy that makes my throat close up. this request gets ignored all the time because they think I just can’t “handle my spices.”

I am deathly allergic to tree nuts and shellfish. I can’t count how many times someone has given me food with either of those in it because they thought I was just a picky eater. (I was, which is why they thought that would be a valid reason.) just respect people’s food choices ffs.

[anarchistmemedistro]

i know this thread was originally about people intentionally messing with food orders, which it should go without saying is an awful fucked up thing to do for all the reasons above.

but what these stories above also illustrate is how fucking dangerous the food industry is. think about it. how underpaid are food workers? how overworked? how many have to work twelve hour shifts, work three jobs, take care of their kids on their own while doing it? how many have some manager breathing down their necks to say all the right things and manage 20 tables at once without making a mistake, maybe without having anything to eat all day, while worrying if they’ll be able to scrape enough tips together to make rent? how many stories have we heard about how all line cooks are constantly high out of their minds just to survive the demands of their job?

even if no one intentionally fucks with a food order, in a system like that mistakes are bound to happen. a lot. and people are going to die.

it’s the same clown fuckery that happens in hospitals. doctors and nurses aren’t trying to kill patients. but when you force people to work 24 hour shifts for no god forsaken reason, mistakes are going to happen. and people die.

fuck capitalism.

[anorexs1ck]

My story is practically unrelated because it’s so benign but when my ed was arguably at its worst, I worked at a restaurant. We were busy so if my coworker was occupied I’d get his soda, and vice versa. I only drank diet, because I was TERRIFIED of “empty calories.” I would watch him get my soda from wherever I was. If he had gotten me regular soda and I drank it, I would have puked for hours and had severe emotional distress from it

[anx1ousbutterfly]

This once happened to me as well, a barista gave me a normal cappuccino when I asked for soy. The moment I said the word soy she rolled her eyes, turned her back towards me and sighed, LOUDLY. As if I wouldn’t hear her if she didn’t look at me. But I didn’t think much of it either since it has never happened that someone gives me regular milk when I specifically ask for lactose-free or vegan versions.

Long story short: I was dying on the toilet with cramps the entire evening/night before an exam. Needless to say I failed that exam. Thanks panos-employee.

[imtry1ng]

Reblogging to stop people from being assholes.

[sickdelights-deactivated2023091]

cant talk rn i'm busy being a danger to myself

[a-ghost-is-all-that-remains]

Getting properly diagnosed with Bipolar disorder should not be as hard as it is. It took me 2 years to finally get properly diagnosed after being misdiagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder. They gave me medication to treat MDD instead of BP which did not go well at all with my manic episodes 🙃

[ijustwanttoodisapear-deactivate]

Some of us killed our happiness at a young age by deciding to love and please others more than ourselves.

[plaguedocboi]

Valentine’s Day cards for the person who plagues your thoughts this fine February

Feel free to use (with credit)

[plaguedocboi]

Oh shit it’s already February isn’t it

[thementalistscandidate]

@theshitpostcalligrapher

[thoughtkick]

“Admit it. You aren’t like them. You’re not even close. You may occasionally dress yourself up as one of them, watch the same mindless television shows as they do, maybe even eat the same fast food sometimes. But it seems that the more you try to fit in, the more you feel like an outsider.”

— Timothy Leary

[darkosm]

this ones pretty good too

[teaboot]

Went to the Aboriginal artifact exhibit in Chicago. And it’s interesting. How many blankets and masks and totem poles say ‘unknown source’, because every five seconds my mom would stop and point to something and say. “Pauline’s grandmother made that,” or, “That belongs to Mike’s family, I should call him” because. It’s all stolen

[teaboot]

“These artifacts were excavated by archaeologists from a burial site in the 1970’s. The remains were returned for reinterment” Okay cool, cool cool. So you just, like. Dug up the grave of a respected family member, stripped them naked, mailed their body back to their family and kept everything they were lovingly put to rest in. Like a graverobbing bastard

[toothmuncher3000]

Reminds me of the time when of the elders from my hometown started touching a totem pole in the Museum of Anthropology out at UBC and got yelled at by the staff, only to tell him that the pole had been stolen off of the front of her bighouse when she was ten years old.

Museum collectors did the equivalent of kidnapping a family member when they were away fishing.

[jenroses]

[totallynotagentphilcoulson]

The Native American Graves Protection and Repatriation Act requires all institutions that receive federal funding to repatriate remains and artifacts so if you can identify the source of something on display absolutely get a hold of that institute’s repatriation office

[thefernhands]

If you're fifteen or older an still sleep with a stuffed animal please reblog this.

My friend is embarrassed and thinks she’s the only one and I said id prove her wrong.