I wrote something here, but I hit a button, and deleted every word I typed. So instead of wasting my energy getting mad, I’m just gonna start where I last left off.
If I told myself about what happened last month on the 23rd, I probably would have never wrote my still unfinished poetry book. It’s called, “Unconditional Madness,” btw and it is coming out like a woman after her wax. Okay? Okay.
Anyways, that has been the story of my life right now. Coming to the realizing that the way I got here is not the way that I had wanted to. If I had typed you my story from start to now, with each detail, and feeling. I’m sure you would be be looking at me side eye and ask me, “Damn girl, you ok?”
And I would of been nodded my head with tears rolling down my eyes. But girl all I can say is “God.” He’s the only reason I have the courage to write this in vulnerability. Now before I continue I know that there are people who have a different belief and that’s between you the Lord. But, if you have something or someone you believe in, than you can us that.
To continue, but FR. If God would of ran me my script of my life ahead of time, I would of said, “Nah find someone else to do it.” Just like TikTok sound. I would of been a real rebel and disobedience. I would be in more disbelief and trauma than I already am now. I would of never lived. Would of been in hiding avoiding all the experiences and lessons that life has to offer. I mean in reality the way life is set up, it does not belong to us, but it is natural to treat it like such.
Anyways, I’m currently sitting at my desk, trying to put this piece together, because I need to clear my thoughts. Mind you I had no intentions on letting the world know where I am in my life currently, but ha. Jokes on me right? I felt compelled to write this, because even thought I didn’t say much it still has an impact. I hope you’re enjoyed this, because it was unnecessarily tense as hell for me🫣.
Keeping going, no matter what you lose. No matter what happens or doesn’t. Know theres a lot more coming your way. I love you.
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