I think it's about time I let this all out.
I'm tired. I don't know what to do with my life anymore. Whenever I get up in the morning, I just dread the hours that will follow; the whole day that I have to endure. I don't know. I think too much about things now. How bad everything is. How long I will I have to feel like this. I'm just so lost.
I know I have friends here. And I have a lot in real life too. But I never talk too much about my feelings. I keep it all bottled inside me. Whenever I try, I just tell the superficial things. I know no one will understand. I can't even understand myself sometimes, so why bother?
I don't know what's wrong with me. I wish I do. My performance in school is almost at its worst. It's all I think about and I cry every time. I can't help it. If I can't do well in school, then I'm just a complete failure. I will never be good at anything. That's what my mind keeps telling me. I keep trying to do better but I get nothing in return. It's unfair and I want to give up.
I need a new life. A fresh start. Tumblr used to be sort of an escape but now I feel more awful whenever I'm here. Everyone's so happy and I'm the little wallflower. Just there in the corner, watching everyone go and live their lives. I have to go. It's for real this time. I know I'll feel more alone than I already am if I do this but I just don't care anymore. You don't have to care too. You don't even need to read this. But if you did, I hope somehow I made sense even if I totally didn't.
