Aayushi Ann Grennelith Milgret Elodie Hitbyacar Khowala

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[ksheaven]

(popspinaci)

[aagmehk]

Emma Corrin is such a damn vibe, to think we chatted on the phone and never again.

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Only mentioning this right now because I just texted a long time crush on lex yesterday, they replied immediately, and I haven't known what to do since. 

[aagmehk]

I am never afraid to send the first message on a dating app, but always afriad to send the second.

[aagmehk]

PVD NYC Tap Water Blind Taste Test

Everyone had a sip off each cup, which was probably not the most covid conscious thing to do. Anyway, the waters both tasted the same. 

[aagmehk]

Somehow, just that colour and the reflections 

[aagmehk]

so cute

[aagmehk]

A hoodie, a bicycle and some flowers. First of many winter bike rides.

Every couple of months I go through a bout where I feel as though, to some small degree, I have discovered my spot in the larger scheme of things. And then I spend the intermittent periods backtracking from above said realisations. But like... for what?

[aagmehk]

I want to be try and be consistently committed to my wellbeing. 

[aagmehk]

The last 24 hours have been special in the most unexpected of ways. It brought me a lot of hope for the new year. 

New connections are very daunting to form. As my friend Raina once put it, quite accurately imo, its not that I am an unfriendly stranger but just that I am afraid of friendly strangers. I have been spending time thinking about how to overcome this fear (sometimes prejudice). There are places and groups and communities that I am very curious about. I am however equally shy about delving deeper. 

Brown women are so powerful. I told Wen that I wanted to be her only south asian friend, I realise now that that’s not quite true. I’d very much like if we all had more S-A friends. 

I spent this morning on a group call with one of the big loves of my life. I love love and I love to love. 

[aagmehk]

Sometimes I get so jealous at others’ abilities to express themselves, or rather others’ abilities to lay themselves out with such nonchalance that it reads as fearlessness (at least to me). I have to remind myself to believe in the possibility that it's difficult for everyone; some people are just better at getting past the hurdle. 

I want to use this blog to write about the things I think about, the things that are taking place, and also the things that are not taking place. I cannot have this blog be another Instagram, where everything is an attempt towards validation, consciously or subconsciously. This blog might as well be ugly, but it’s not because Tiger so kindly coded it to my liking. 

I am glad that Tiger shared this platform with me. I do not feel it as my own just yet. But maybe by my 7th post I will. And maybe by then, I can say a little more.