Just Weird Things

[aanahitt]

I watched a lot of those tiktoks about Lil Nas X’s song, and I’m like, why are there so many people pleading to get into heaven? How can you listen to the song and watch the video and still want to plead for entrance to heaven? If I ended up there and god was like, hey, you can enter heaven but you have to renounce being gay, I’d give him the middle finger and make my own damn way down to hell. That was the point.

[aanahitt]

My 39 week pregnant sister with hip pain and pre-eclampsia: why is everything so difficult????

Me: ....

My sister: don't answer that

[butchfemmelove]

Another Mother Tongue: Gay Words, Gay Worlds - Judy Grahn (1984)

[aanahitt]

No offense to realistic fiction writers, and I have read some great realistic books, but what kind of person do you have to be to decide to write realistic fiction??? You're like, I'm going to create a fun story and characters and an exciting plot, but the main character is like... some guy at Tescos, and it's something that your friend might tell you about over dinner.

[aanahitt]

New gender: they/them but in the plural sense. Will also be upgrading our first person pronouns to we/us.

[aanahitt]

Neurotypical people talk like a linear program.

People with ADHD talk like a recursive program.

[aanahitt]

My sister: why can't I sign in???? I know this is my password!!!

My sister, after struggling for five minutes: omg! This isn't pandora! This is paypal!!!!

[aanahitt]

If you sit quietly in the shower you can feel the hot air whoosh up past your

[aanahitt]

Me: *struggling to get a basic sentence out*

My sister: lol, you had to fight god to say that.

Me: thanks, it's the autism.

[aanahitt]

So I'm having health issues - unsurprising - and my mom has decided being a liberal gay is a symptom of PCOS. I guess if I balance out my hormones I'll stop caring about people freezing to death on the street? Or I'll become transphobic? I'll stop supporting welfare programs? I'll be STRAIGHT?

[aanahitt]

Apparently putting smileys and exclamation points in emails and messages is a female thing??? Everyone at my work does it because it helps with tone? Is it because we're more female dominated??? I don't know. I just know that I'm glad I don't get angry sounding emails from the guys at work.

[aanahitt]

I got a degree in herbalism, so people naturally come to me for help, which is great! I love to help! But sometimes they come to me with serious fucking problems like, what can you do about the fact my mole is getting bigger and hurts?

I can send you to the fucking doctor, that's what I can do.

[aanahitt]

Pro baking tip!

if you've forgotten something important - like, for example, baking soda - but you've already scooped your cupcakes, it's ok! Just add the amount originally required on top of your cupcakes and mix it in. If anyone asks what you're doing, tell them you're making sure the tops come out smooth, but say it the way you'd explain why you're oiling a tin, and they should go away. If they're still there, start mumbling about flour to egg ratio and no one will ever find out you're an idiot. :)

[aanahitt]

Want to do a writing tumblr, but like, what the fuck do I post? I don't have advice. I write by vividly daydreaming my story to the exclusion of everything I should be doing, and then writing it in mad, frenzied bursts in an attempt to get it out of my head so the visions no longer torture me.

If thats not how you write I don't know how to help.

[aanahitt]

So when my parents were younger my mom had trouble with English and my dad became her tutor and guess what? She still has trouble with English.

[aanahitt]

Me: I'm trying to WORK

My cat: ...

Me: my lap is OCCUPIED

My cat: but what if I sweetly lick your fingers?

[aanahitt]

My sister: One of the important reflexes to get rid of when you're a parent is to lick your finger clean, like when you're cooking or something. You really don't want it to activate when the baby is eating... or you're changing a diaper.