say something (new year's present from hannah hehe)
The first time they met was at a carpark near a supermarket. Leaning against their respective parents’ cars. The girl playing the infamous Super Mario on her pink gameboy, whilst the boy was busying himself with a pair of action figures. Both of them were young; aged nine.
“Boosh boosh, you die!” the boy screamed, throwing the enemy action figure onto the stoned ground. “Boosh boosh!” he continued, making acceptable sound effects with his mouth. He jumped in excitement as he picked the neglected toy up, dusting off the stubborn bits of stone which clung to it.
“Oh no,” he whined, realising that one of its arms had come loose. “No, no, no, no,” he said repeatedly, desperately trying to attach it back to its now helpless body.
“No, don’t die yet!” he ended up screaming. Tears gathered at his round eyes, his lips forming a frown. “Don’t…” he mumbled. His small fists rubbed at his teary eyes, letting out a whimper.
This made the girl look up from her game. Her eyes were red from staring at the small screen of the gameboy all day. She tiptoed, attempting to look over the huge vehicle which prevented her from knowing who stood on the other side.
“Are… are you okay?” she mused, giving up on peering over the vehicle after a while. “Hello?”
The boy heard the little girl’s voice, eyes widening. “Y-yes I am.” He wiped at his tears even more.
“Are you sure? W-Who’s leaving you? Is it your parents?”
“N-no no… not them!” he yelled. “The bad guy broke his arm… and now I am sad.”
The girl giggled at his immaturity. “The bad guy is not so bad after all, right?”
“Right,” he mumbled, attempting to attach the arm once more. “It can’t be fixed though…” A hint of sadness and disappointment in his voice.
“I am sure it can!” the girl positively replied. “It can’t be worse than a broken heart!”
The boy furrowed his eyebrows, causing his forehead to wrinkle. What nonsense, he thought. How bad can a broken heart get?
“I hope you find a replacement for that toy!” the girl spoke, after a few minutes of silence.
After a while, the girl’s parents had came back from the supermarket, pushing a trolley filled with household needs. “Sorry, I kept you long, darling,” her mother said, carrying her into the red vehicle. Her mother fastened the seat belt for her, and proceeded in putting the items in the back of the car.
The girl had placed her gameboy down, attempting to get herself out of the seatbelt’s grip around her body. Both her thumbs pressed down onto the red button, and she was freed. She moved across the passenger’s seat, to the other side of the vehicle. She winded down the window as quick as she could, before her mother could catch her.
“Hi,” she said, earning a yelp from the boy, who was still waiting by his parent’s car. Her hands were supporting her small face, elbows planted onto the frame. She took a good look at the poor little things: He was wearing a baby blue blouse, paired with a pair of dark-coloured jeans. His hair was styled spiky, his skin was white like snow. His eyes were like diamonds, sparkling in the sunlight. His cheeks were stained with dried tears, and there was a little mucus travelling down his lip.
“Hi,” he replied weakly. “Do I know you?”
“No, no you don’t,” her voice was cheerful, filled with delight. “But we talked just now.”
“Oh…” he dragged, raising his index finger up in the air.
“What’s your name?” the girl asked, bouncing at her seat. She could not believe she was making friends so easily, since she was always the loner in class.
“My mama told me not to talk to strangers,” he replied boldly, looking away with a little ‘hmph’.
“You’re so arrogant,” she leaned back into the seat and huffed. “It’s not fair! We talked just now!”
The boy started to chuckle, hiding his flushed face behind his small hands.
“I won’t tell you my name, but you can call me oppa.”
The girl sighed, fluttering her eyes closed. “I call almost every guy oppa! It’s no fun!”
She turned to look at the cheeky boy who stood in front of her. She stuck her tongue out before saying, “Give me another name!” The boy started laughing, holding his stomach. The girl beamed, trying hard to keep her serious face.
“Jihoon. You can call me Jihoon.”
The smell of rain still lingered in the air.
Jihoon ran through the backyard when his aunt finally allowed them to go outside. He splashed through water puddles, kicking water in the girl’s direction, laughing when she winced, trying to cover herself.
They had met the following year, somewhere in January. Their mothers were friends, apparently. And Jihoon soon found out that the girl’s name was Ryeomin.
“Stop it!” Ryeomin shouted at him, but the latter was greeted with a kind smile from the girl so, he kept jumping into puddles, and kicking water all around with his yellow rain boots. His mother screamed at him to stop messing around, and the boy pouted. What is more fun than to jump into puddles after a rainy day? Jihoon glanced over his shoulder, seeing Ryeomin crouching on a spot next to the bush.
“Look,” Ryeomin extended her hands at him, and Jihoon shrieked in terror upon laying eyes on it.
“EW,” Jihoon whined, sticking his tongue out, disgusted at the sight. Ryeomin let out a shriek of laughter at his cuteness. “Get that away from me now.”
“Tsk,” Ryeomin shook her head and stood up from her crouching position, now moving to the stoned steps by the door. “The butterfly is dying…”
The insect had beautiful wings - of colours black and orange. Typical, one would say, but in Ryeomin’s eyes, it was the most beautiful insect she had ever seen. She stroked its now useless wings, gently as she could so as to not scare the weak insect. It twitched slightly at her touch, and Jihoon shook his head, nausea making his whole body shiver.
“It’s so pretty,” Ryeomin complimented it, now watching it from the side of her palm. “Don’t you think so, oppa?”
Ryeomin tilts her head, and there was a small smile on her face when she looked at the boy. It is pretty, Jihoon noticed as the insect attempts on crawling away. Ryeomin placed it on her side and waved goodbye, even though both of them knew it was not going to make it far - in life and in distance.
“Not as beautiful as you,” Jihoon spilled, covering his mouth immediately after realises what he had said.
The younger one widened her eyes at him, but before she could say anything, the adults had called them in before the night came. The kids ran into the house, challenging each other into a game of whoever-could-reach-the-dining-table-first. They climbed onto the high chairs of the dining set, sticking their tongues out at each other upon settling themselves. They had not took notice of another kid - boy - their age, who was seated by Jihoon’s side, until Jihoon’s mother forced out a cough.
The kid was wearing a pair of green pants and a red shirt, and his eyes were the darkest Ryeomin had ever seen. Pitch black hair, and an absolutely beautiful face. He had his eyes on the empty white plate in front of him, not even bothering to say anything.
“Christmas came early,” Jihoon whispered, eyes drifting away from the young boy whom he claimed to have clearly taken his place in Ryeomin’s eyes.
“This is Seunghyun,” Jihoon’s mother said, gently caressing the boy’s hair. “And he’ll be staying with us for a while.” This time, he shot Jihoon a severe look. “Be good to him.”
His mother left the kids at the table, making her way to the kitchen to collect more prepared dishes. Jihoon now took the chance to look over at the oh-so-sweet boy.
“Who are you?” He asked, feeling annoyed and threatened by his presence, and Ryeomin looked at him in disapproval.
“Don’t be like that Jih-”
Seunghyun did nothing in response, but simply stared at Jihoon with his dark eyes. Jihoon swore his soul was being sold to him. “My parents died recently.” Ryeomin gasped out loud, Jihoon felt a tightening grip around his throat. “So your mama took me in, since my parents are… I mean, were… pretty close with yours.”
Jihoon has this urgency to throw himself out of the window. He felt bothered by him. Seunghyun was dark, and had this uncomfortable aura around him. Bad company, Jihoon thought. The new kid stayed silent for a while, before taking a quick glance at a worried-looking Ryeomin.
“That butterfly was beautiful,” he mused, beaming at the girl. “And you’re beautiful too.”
Ryeomin looks at the boy with her jaws dropped, as if something had touched her heart deeply. She nodded at him in response.
“You’re beautiful too,” Ryeomin replied shyly, and Jihoon felt like strangling the new kid.
Seunghyun didn’t stay for a while… he stayed ever since.
Seunghyun had no grandparents as they were all dead; no relatives as well. The Pyo family had to adopt him, and Jihoon found himself having a brother of the same age,
Their parents had told Jihoon to see Seunghyun as a brother, but that had failed countless times. Jihoon never saw Seunghyun as a brother, not even a relative. Jihoon saw him as a friend, a best friend. Someone whom Jihoon grew to care and love, but not a brother - never a brother. He did call Seunghyun that, though, to see the smiles on his parents faces. But Jihoon would still feel his heart sink whenever his mother hugged Seunghyun a little bit longer, or whenever his father would talk about how proud he was of him.
Jihoon understood that Seunghyun would never have such a family, if it wasn’t for his adoption. He knew Seunghyun needed love, but Jihoon himself, too, needed love for he never received much.
Jihoon’s father was never fond of him, and it hurt.
Jihoon was no one in their eyes, but Jihoon knew he was someone in Ryeomin’s.
Sixteen, was his age when he was a senior in high school. He was being admitted to the same school as Ryeomin and Seunghyun. Boy, he felt like he was on Cloud 9. Or so he thought.
Seunghyun started to grow rebellious. Nevertheless, he still received the most love from his parents. Seunghyun had started drinking, and was getting drunk every night. Jihoon would sigh and pick his brother up each time his phone rung. Jihoon was tired, but he loved Seunghyun.
Jihoon allowed the smoke of the cigarette fill his lungs and his senses, because Seunghyun told him that it would make him cooler; it would make him stand out more from the crowd of misfits. Yes, Jihoon was a misfit. But Jihoon does not want it - he does not want to be ‘cool’.
The left-out teenager was leaning against the pillar of the kitchen, listening to the loud music pumping in the background. Most of them were drunk, and were all over the floor, lying to themselves that they were still sober. Jihoon wondered how they were going to clean the house up before his parents came home.
“Still sober, man?” Seunghyun asked as he poured himself a glass of water. “You’re so boring.”
Seunghyun then tugged Jihoon through a crowd of hot mess, and up the stairs to where the bedrooms were. They elbows planted into the wooden rails of the staircase, and eyes staring down at the ‘wasted ones’, as Jihoon liked to call them. From where they were, it was really a hot mess. There were those who were wildly dancing, while others looked like their they legs were about to break. Couples-to-be were making out in the corners, and Seunghyun was pumped at the sight of it.
“Did you see Gong Minzy tonight?” Seunghyun said, showing off a sly smile. “girl is looking fine. And Jiyong told me she liked you.”
“Not interested,” Jihoon replied, scratching at his chin. “Besides, wasn’t she with Dae?”
“They broke up,” Seunghyun supplied, joining both his index fingers together and then pulling them apart. “Fucked up, huh? This world… everyone leaves you in the end. And we tend love those whom we think deserves us.” Jihoon dipped his head, now resting his chin on the wooden piece.
“You should date Hayana. I know what’s good for you; I’m your brother.”
That was random, Jihoon thought before letting out a sigh. Seunghyun smiled a little at him, and Jihoon could feel the danger emanating from it. Jihoon knows that Seunghyun would not give up until he did what he wanted.
“Just leave me alone,” said Jihoon.
“Is it still about Ryeomin? When will you get over her?” Seunghyun spilled, and Jihoon’s eyes widened. A day wouldn’t go by without the mention of Ryeomin. Jihoon would go on and on about Ryeomin whenever he could. It all started when the brothers were playing a little game of fetch with their puppy, and Jihoon spilled about his feelings towards the lady. Seunghyun teased him about her ever since.
“No,” Jihoon denied, innocent-eyed. “I am not interested, that’s all.”
“Is it?” Seunghyun smirked a little, rolling his tongue against his cheek. “You didn’t even try to ask her out. Not even confess that you like her.” Jihoon laughed and threw a light punch at Seunghyun’s arm. As if Ryeomin would want to have anything to do with Jihoon. Jihoon has always felt this threat with Seunghyun, which made him inferior whenever Ryeomin was around.
Seunghyun pokes him at his chest, and Jihoon winced. “I’ll go talk to her. Get wasted all you want and go to your room in an hour. I’ll make sure she’s there.”
“Stop joking,” Jihoon laughed again, trying to walk away. Seunghyun caught his forearm and held him back. “I am serious, don’t be stupid. She wouldn’t want to da-”
“Listen you lil idiot,” Seunghyun roughly patted his back with his free hand. “It’ll all work out! Trust me on this one. I promise!”
Jihoon was convinced by Seunghyun’s thoughtful smile, and agreed to the idea.
Jihoon climbed up the stairs, all drunk and exhausted. Jihoon laughed at himself for looking desperate and helpless for crawling on all fours up to his room. The teenager laughs even more when he finally reached the top, letting himself fall onto the carpeted flooring which Jihoon thought was ridiculously soft now that he was drunk. He pulls himself to his room, which was at the end of the hallway. He thought about how thoughtful Seunghyun was, and maybe after this, he would claim him as his brother. He thought about the euphoria overwhelming him when he sees Ryeomin waiting for him.
He liked her, he really did. Maybe love, but Jihoon reminded himself that love was too dangerous.
When he approached the familiar white door, he forced himself to stand, using the walls as support. His hands were shaking slightly as they reached the door knob. He heaved a deep breath, before turning it open. He wished he had cleaned his room before this so it would not be as embarrassing. Confessing to the love of his life with a bunch of his underwear in the corner of his room was not a good idea.
He opens the door, and he felt the entire weight of the world on his shoulders.
Ryeomin is in Seunghyun’s arms, swaying to a melodic song playing in the scene. Not only did that happen, but the two of them were too engaged in the kiss to notice Jihoon’s presence. It only took them a few seconds to acknowledge his presence, but to Jihoon, it seemed like hours. Jihoon’s heart broke to a million pieces, but still, they couldn’t hear the loud sound of it. Ryeomin covered her mouth, looking terrified.
“Jihoon, I-” Seunghyun started, but then simply shifted his gaze to the floor, and Jihoon felt hot tears at his eyes. But he did not cry. He would not.
“Oh,” Jihoon said, controlling the tone of his voice, making sure it doesn’t crack. “I didn’t know both of you were here. I am sorry. I should’ve knocked… Sorry to interrupt your intimate mo- Sorry.” With that. Jihoon turned his back to them and made his way back to the party.
Jihoon had himself curled on his parents’ bed, muffling his mouth with brownies and candy, chanting “I hate Seunghyun” repeatedly. The door opened slowly, and he looks up to a curious Seunghyun.
“You’re not supposed to eat in the rooms.”
“Neither are you allowed to fucking steal your brother’s crush,” Jihoon cussed, stuffing his mouth with more brownies. “Now get the fuck out!” Jihoon threw a tissue box at Seunghyun’s head.
Seunghyun entered anyway, closing the door behind him. Sehun looked at him, fury in his eyes. His lips are red, Jihoon noticed, which burned his insides even more.
“How could you do that you-” Jihoon paused, feeling his throat tighten. “How could you backstab me?” Seunghyun was now leaning against the door, keeping his distance.
“Liar! You don’t even look apologetic right now you piece of shit,” Jihoon shouted, then covered his ears, disallowing Seunghyun’s words to pass through.
“Listen to me! Fuck, you’re such a child, God damn!” Seunghyun climbed onto their parents’ bed and attempted to make Jihoon listen. “No wonder Ryeomin doesn’t like you!”
Jihoon looked up, eyes wet from the tears of mixed emotions. He couldn’t hear himself think. Seunghyun’s hands dropped to his sides, moving a little for Jihoon to sit up again. “W-What did Ryeomin say about me? Wh-What?”
“Spill it!” Jihoon ended up yelling, fists clenched.
“I-” Seunghyun looked at him with a sorry look on his face. “She thinks you’re so childish, naive… weak… too weak to protect her. She doesn’t want that.”
“Yea… I guess…” Seunghyun whispered, eyes falling to the crumpled bed sheets.
“And you like her too,” Jihoon’s voice trails off. Seunghyun looked up at him and Jihoon saw that his eyes were teary.
“I am sorry I didn’t tell you about this earlier. I-I didn’t want to hurt you, Ji. I just wanted you to be happy, and-and I- I had to ignore my feelings because I wanted what was best for you and- Jihoon please look at me. I don’t want you hurt… and- it’s just-”
“It’s fine,” Jihoon lied, eyes not meeting Seunghyun’s. “Go be happy with her. Really. It’s nothing.” Jihoon’s fingers crept to the box of candy next to him. “Could you leave me alone now?”
Seunghyun got off of bed and when Jihoon finally looked at him, the tears weren’t even there. Jihoon let out a soft ‘hah’ and laid back down.
Seunghyun started to date Ryeomin.
Lunch times were crazy, and Jihoon always fought the urge to frown, He had to smile each time he was with them. He had to lie to himself that it was okay that his brother was dating the love of his life.
Ryeomin was not with him because she loved him, but because Seunghyun often reminded her of something she needed - like a drug. Jihoon found it pathetic because it was he who first told her that, but Seunghyun simply pulled the trigger. Ryeomin lived for Seunghyun’s words:
They have been dating for a year, and Jihoon still found it hard to look at him. He feels an ache in his chest each time he catches them hugging, kissing and doing loving stuff together.
Jihoon did try to go on dates with other girls, but he found himself whispering ‘Ryeomin’ each time. He had tried his best to forget about his feelings for her so he does not have to be torn. But no, this time they were on a family trip and Mister-tries-to-be-friendly decided to bring Ryeomin along.
Jihoon had always wondered why Ryeomin wanted to hear those three words. It bothered him so much. Did she not know that she is, in fact, beautiful? Jihoon had always wanted to tell her that she is, and will always be. Forever and always. When Jihoon asked Seunghyun why, Seunghyun said, “She was bullied in junior high. Called her ugly and stuff.”
Jihoon sighed. How he wished he could be the one to tell her those three words.
Jihoon cleaned out the shampoo in his hair, and turned off the water after that. He wiped himself dry, and changed into his PJ’s before exiting the hotel bathroom, and entering the rather small hotel room which he shared with Seunghyun, only to find Ryeomin cuddling next to him, and Jihoon felt his heart break.
“ARE YOU WATCHING THIS?” Jihoon said loudly, holding onto the remote which they had thrown onto the floor. Receiving no reply, he punched the red button and proceeded to jump onto his single sized bed. “Stupid lovebirds,” he muttered as he pulled the blanket up to his nose.
After about what seemed like an hour, Jihoon still couldn’t get his mind to drift off. It was starting to get hot in the hotel room, and his mind was too full of thoughts. He refused to toss around to get himself comfortable, because he knew he would have to watch them cuddle.
So he stuck to one side, left arm cramped. Not long after, he heard Ryeomin whispering a little something.
“Seung, stop it!” she whispered, attempting to get out of Seunghyun’s grip. Jihoon did not know what was going on, but he was alarmed.
“Just sleep next to me, for one night. Don’t go to your room,” Seunghyun pleaded, and Jihoon could picture his pathetic puppy face. “Jihoon won’t tell! Look at him! He sleeps like a rock!”
Jihoon felt something soft hit him. It was probably a pillow thrown by Seunghyun himself.
Jihoon’s eyes opened a little and he swore, he could feel Seunghyun staring intensely at him from the back, with a smirk plastered on that face of his.
They were now 20, and legal.
Jihoon found himself at the club every night, still sobbing over how Ryeomin wasn’t his, and how Seunghyun was everything he wasn’t. Jihoon found himself foolish - he could never compete with Seunghyun. “Another,” Jihoon would tell the bartender.
“Are you serious?” he heard someone tapping his shoulder. Oh, surprise, Jihoon thought, rolling his eyes. “You shouldn’t get too drunk every night. Bad for the liver.”
Seunghyun, it seemed, was always making fun of Jihoon’s foolishness. But Jihoon was used to it. He was used to being the second choice, used to being the loser. There was nothing he could do now. He shook his glass a little, the sound of ice clinking filling his ears. He took a quick sip before shooting Seunghyun a suggestive look. Seunghyun was always up to something these days, and it bothered Jihoon. Jihoon knew from the start that this boy was bad company.
Both of them eventually got drunk, and found themselves talking about Ryeomin, work, whatever they could think of at that point. They had met a friend whom both of them knew from school, who got drunk as well with the influence of Seunghyun. And all of a sudden, as if on cue, the man talks about Ryeomin’s obsession. This hit the other two hard. Seunghyun was the first to react, throwing in a punch into the poor man’s face. Jihoon struggled to get himself on foot. When he finally did, he pushed Seunghyun aside, stopping him from going any further.
“What the fuck man?” Seunghyun laughed before taking drunk steps towards Jihoon and pushing him away. He proceeded with kicking the man in the stomach, and then towering over him, throwing strong punches into his face.
The man laid on the floor motionless, and Jihoon started to worry.
“Oh fuck, blood all over me,” Seunghyun laughed, motioning at his shirt. Jihoon shot a confused look and grabbed him by the collar.
“Seunghyun. You fucking killed him. You fucking- fucking hell. Fuck Seunghyun you killed him!” Jihoon snapped, shaking him.
“So? He deserves… no… deserved it,” Seunghyun laughed at his own joke, and Jihoon found it insulting.
Seunghyun left a note at Jihoon’s doorstep.
Jihoon drank a glass of milk before unfolding the white piece of paper.
“Don’t tell anyone. I will kill you.”
And Jihoon knew he wasn’t joking.
“You’re beautiful,” Seunghyun whispered, wrapping his arms around her tiny waist.
Ryeomin felt her skin tingle, and her heart clenching. It didn’t mean a thing anymore. Ryeomin bit her lower lip, fighting back a cry. She turned into his chest and hugged him. She no longer felt it, and it no longer reached her.
But she was afraid to admit it; afraid of Seunghyun.
She pulled away and sat opposite Jihoon who was lying on his mother’s lap, like a little child he is. The boy turned his head a little to Ryeomin and gave him a smile.
“You’re beautiful,” Seunghyun said again.
He could feel the strings that were carefully laced around Ryeomin’s heart loosening up. He rested his palms on the smaller one’s shoulder, but Ryeomin simply brushed them off and proceeded in helping Jihoon with the dishes.
Seunghyun tasted a sour taste in his mouth.
Jihoon felt a shiver roll down his spine when he saw who it was. Ryeomin. Jihoon attentively sat up and greeted her. He was having coffee at a nearby cafe from where he worked, and he was shocked to see Ryeomin in Korea, since she had moved out with Seunghyun and left Korea ever since.
“May I sit with you?” Ryeomin asked, lips pursed. It was Winter and she had on a white trench coat with a matching beanie. Jihoon had stood up to pull the chair out for her, but she refused his hospitality.
Jihoon was tapping his feet against the flooring, anxiety taking over. Ryeomin had ordered herself a cup of latte, and had taken off her mittens and beanie.
“You look so grown up,” Ryeomin commented, smiling a little as Jihoon’s cheeks flushed. “In your smart looking outfit and all.”
Jihoon fanned himself, his humour showing. And Ryeomin was glad he hadn’t changed much. “Oh… I have to dress up. That’s all.”
Ryeomin nods, and Jihoon supplied, “So how’s Seunghyun?”
They fell back into silence.
“Oh, he? He’s in theatre. Weird, yes. But he’s doing what he
loves,” Ryeomin said proudly, and Jihoon noticed the thick layer of make-up covering her face.
Jihoon raised an eyebrow up in surprise, “Theatre? Weirdo.” This left Ryeomin laughing. “Anyway, where do y’all live now?”
“We? Oh! London! Amazing place!” Ryeomin chirped, sipping a bit of her coffee.
Jihoon smiled, “Guess both of you couldn’t stay away from me for long, huh? I am that lovable.”
Ryeomin nodded her head slowly, looking at Jihoon thoughtfully, “Oh yes, we couldn’t. We missed you, I missed you… so much.” Jihoon shot her a confused look.
She looked down, pulling out her namecard from her wallet. “What-”
“Don’t you dare disappear from me again!” Ryeomin said, sharply. “Call me when you need me, understand? And text me your address.” With that, she quickly left the cafe. The ringing bell signalling that someone had left.
Jihoon started to meet Ryeomin every week, and slowly, they started to meet each other everyday.
They would sometimes have dinner together. At times, they would walk around the infamous parks in Seoul, and talk about how fun their childhood was and how they could go back in time. That was, in fact, one of Jihoon’s wishes. Other times, Ryeomin would knock on Jihoon’s door at night, pleading to come in. And then, they would watch movies together, until Ryeomin fell asleep on his shoulder.
And at each day, Jihoon could see Ryeomin changing. She wasn’t wearing a thick layer of make-up anymore, and her hair wasn’t always done up right. He could see Ryeomin talking freely, and laying on his couch - not wanting to go home. Jihoon, too, did not want her to.
“I met Jihoon today,” Ryeomin said, walking into the room she shared with Seunghyun.
He could feel it - each time she came home, that smile on her face, that glow in her eyes. It was the same smile Seunghyun had always hated.
He stood up and made his way to his girlfriend, outlining her jawline with his thumb. Ryeomin looked up and smiled that smile which made Seunghyun’s skin crawl.
“Are you using something different on your face?” he asked casually, and Ryeomin shook her head.
“Strange,” Seunghyun took an apple from the basket and walked out of their room.
“You’ve been ugly lately.”
He smiled when he heard the sound of glass breaking.
“Hi,” Seunghyun said, with a bottle of wine in his hand, when Jihoon had opened the door.
Jihoon had been expecting Seunghyun ever since the day Ryeomin went crying to him, dirtying his shirt with her make-up. Seunghyun threw his shoes to the side and made his way to Jihoon’s kitchen, pulling out two glasses and pouring a reasonable amount of wine in each. They talked about their respective jobs, exchanging their plans for the future. And then Seunghyun brings up Ryeomin.
“She must have told you everything,” Seunghyun commented, his eyes roaming the living room area. “You’ve been meeting daily.”
“She told me everything,” Jihoon replied, eyes meeting Seunghyun’s angry ones.
Seunghyun broke the glass, walking towards Jihoon who seemed not even one bit terrified. He pressed a piece of broken glass to his throat, and Jihoon sneered.
“Are you going to kill me, brother?”
“Brother? Oh, now you want to call me brother?” Seunghyun hissed, pressing the glass further. Jihoon flinched.
“Remember that night when you told me you would help me but you were kissing her instead?” JIhoon replied, fists clenching.
“Oh? Oh that night? Oh yes, we did kiss. We have kissed many times in your room. Did you not know that?” Seunghyun began laughing.
Jihoon pushed Seunghyun onto the floor, making him land on broken glass. Seunghyun observed the blood trickling down his arm and he laughs.
“Remember when I joined both of you at the table when we were ten? That was the beginning of it all,” Seunghyun said, getting up. “Oh, and did you think I really talked to her about you that night?”
“I never told shit about you to her. Never. All I did was pour some sweet nothings into that hollow head of hers and there, that was it. I had her in my arms.”
“Shut up,” Jihoon took him by the collar, and the other only rolled his eyes.
“Are you upset baby Jihoonie?” he said in a baby’s voice, and Jihoon punched him in the face, making him fall to the ground again. Seunghyun got up and Jihoon took a step back.
“The funny thing is… she probably loved you from that day. I just had to take that attention away.”
“Get lost,” Jihoon repeated.
“What does she see in you? I see a fucking loser, a fucking misfit. A nobody! Papa was right,” Seunghyun snickered.
[GUYS! play this song play this song thank you http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iC8tP9Oo52Y]
Ryeomin and Seunghyun got married later that year, and Jihoon didn’t know why Ryeomin hadn’t refused. He knew Ryeomin never loved Seunghyun, and Seunghyun never loved her. Fear, Jihoon guessed as he watched Ryeomin walk down the long aisle.
You’re beautiful, Jihoon whispered.
Ryeomin had her face covered with the translucent veil.
Her eyes were darted to the red carpet beneath her, not meeting with anyone’s. A trickle of tear rolled down her left cheek, and she hesitantly wiped it with the back of her hand.
Jihoon saw her hands trembling as she let go of her father’s arm. Seunghyun helped her up onto the stage and they exchanged their vows.
On that moment, Jihoon swore he saw a glimpse of sadness in both Ryeomin’s and Seunghyun’s eyes. For a moment, he saw the little kids he had met a long time ago. For a moment, he saw the girl who loved being called beautiful. For a moment, he saw the boy whom he thought, for a while, was his brother after all.
And it’s on that split of a second, he found himself walking out of the church, and into his car. He tried to fight his tears, banging onto his steering wheel. He started the engine and drove off from the venue. His tears were in the way. His vision unclear. He could only see Ryeomin’s crying face, Ryeomin’s smile. That was all he could see.
He hated himself for not being man enough to tell her that he loved her. Yes, he was right - love is painful. But because of his fear of love, it has brought him to this point. He pressed harder onto the accelerator; the harder he pressed, the harder he cried.
Ryeomin turned, expecting to find Jihoon, but there was an empty spot next to Seunghyun. Seunghyun simply shrugged it off.
“You love Jihoon don’t you?” Seunghyun questioned, looking at Ryeomin’s side profile. Her eyes were staring forward at nothing, too lost in the moment. “Tell me.”
Ryeomin shook her head slightly, battling her tears. “N-No.”
“S-stop it okay!” Ryeomin stuttered, grabbing one of the pillows and covering her face with it. “I did everything for you!”
“Yes! Just… stop it with your manipulations… everything okay! I’ve had enough.”
Seunghyun let out a soft ‘okay’, and knelt in front of her. “Is that what you really want?”
Ryeomin looked into his eyes and didn’t see the boy that she once knew. She saw the boy that told her she was beautiful, and then broke her heart after that. She felt herself being pinned down onto the bed, Seunghyun now kneeling on top of her, forcing a pillow against her face. She tried to fight against him, but found her strength draining out. She started to feel herself suffocating, lungs hurting for air, throat aching for life. She dug her nails into Seunghyun’s back, scratching his face, and the boy screams, pushing harder.
Everything went dark after that.
He stood by his window, watching norms live life the way it was supposed to be lived. He wondered how Ryeomin was doing, how Seunghyun was treating her.
His hands clutched his cellular device, awaiting a call from Ryeomin. And if she did call, he’d like to apologise, apologise for being a complete dumbass who used to cry over an action figure. A dumbass who couldn’t see the beauty in dying things. A dumbass who was afraid to love. A dumbass who thought a broken heart didn’t mean a thing.
Jihoon finally understood what it meant to have a broken heart. A broken heart meant pain and suffering. It meant sacrifice and tolerance. It meant regret. It meant saying goodbye to someone you love, and that meant forever. Of course there are other definitions, but as far as that, Jihoon now knew how bad a broken heart could get.
This made the girl look up from her game. Her eyes were red from staring at the small screen of the gameboy all day. She tiptoed, attempting to look over the huge vehicle which prevented her from knowing who stood on the other side.
“Are… are you okay?” she mused, giving up on peering over the vehicle after a while. “Hello?”
The boy heard the little girl’s voice, eyes widening. “Y-yes I am.” He wiped at his tears even more.
“Are you sure? W-Who’s leaving you? Is it your parents?”
“N-no no… not them!” he yelled. “The bad guy broke his arm… and now I am sad.”
The girl giggled at his immaturity. “The bad guy is not so bad after all, right?”
“Right,” he mumbled, attempting to attach the arm once more. “It can’t be fixed though…” A hint of sadness and disappointment in his voice.
“I am sure it can!” the girl positively replied. “It can’t be worse than a broken heart!”
The boy furrowed his eyebrows, causing his forehead to wrinkle. What nonsense, he thought.
How bad could a broken heart get?
