Mixed media on paper, 42 x 59.4 cm
Iâve still been struggling with priming my boards to get them so I can properly work on them so I went back to using paper whilst I figure that out. I wanted to make something with more than one figure so that I could see how different colours work alongside each other. My inspiration for this one was just my current feelings, as thatâs what Iâve been wanting to include a bit more within my work.
Specifically I was thinking about my mental health, especially since itâs been affecting me quite a bit recently. Since Iâve suffered with my mental health for most of my life, Iâm not really sure who I would be if I didnât. Because of this, I often refuse to accept it or get help for it because there is something comforting about it to me, and I canât really imagine myself without it. Even though I know that Iâm capable of getting better I often donât allow myself to try because it doesnât feel right to me.
The blue version of myself represents that, offering me that kind of comfort even though itâs toxic. I did another sketch which I considered, but this composition was inspired by âThe Kissâ by Gustav Klimt since I really like this painting. I used spray paint again which I think worked quite well but I think I need to practice a bit more. The spray had clumps in some areas, particularly in the blue which are really obvious, but thatâs just a case of practicing my technique. Iâm not sure how I feel about the colours, maybe theyâre a little bit too bold and Iâd prefer them to be more pastel-y, to solve this Iâm going to swatch all of my spray paints which will make it easier to visualise what they will look like. Another thing to add is that for some reason I struggled with detail and had to add it back in with coloured pencils, mainly to the faces and other crisp lines that it needed.
I feel like this piece may be a bit off topic in terms of the themes Iâve been exploring but I have discussed bringing more of my own experiences and feelings into my work so this seems like a way of doing that. I also keep thinking back to the text pieces I did at the start of the semester and how I can incorporate that into my work, but I donât want to force it. I feel like this piece might be missing something so maybe I could add some text at the top but for now I donât really know what would be the right thing to say.














