I Don't Give A Monkey's Left Nut!

Abbott Johnson, 42, Police Officer, married to Jae Nai. Do not interact with unless you are a part of woodridgerpg.

[abbottjohnson-blog1]

dxvidward:

“I respect that, man; the abuse of power is simply unacceptable, though. – but what if I want you to get me down from a tree? What if I’m drunk as hell and I see a beautiful woman on the tree tempting me to go up there? Ah, speaking of which, I think I should your number on speed dial because I don’t want the 911 operators hearing about my dumb ass antics. – I mean, I bet they’re already aware of that already, but I don’t want it to be on record for them to play over and over again for a gag,” spilled Dave with hands flying through and fro in gestures, wild in his rambling with his drink almost spilling on his shirt as so. “But you guys are cute! Too  cute, it’s almost disgusting. Why can’t I have a love story like that, man? – how’s Mina by the way?”

“It really is , and well, it depends on how high up you are. If it’s more than a few feet, I’m sorry to say, but you’re in some shit for a while. Ain’t no way I’m climbing up.” He laughed. “Well... We do kinda have a giggle at your antics at times, hate to say it... But hey, you’ll have a good love story one day. Just gotta find that prince or princess charmin’. One of those. And /Mina’s doing perfectly well! She’s gonna start school in a few months and Jae’s all teary eyed ‘bout it.”

[abbottjohnson-blog1]

sethanderscn:

“Your family has it all cut out! A cop and a doctor. Two thirds of a triple threat. How long have you been in the service?”

“Damn right! And Mina’s wantin’ t’be a Lawyer if I remember right! Girl’s always changin’ her damn mind though, so.. But I’ve been in the service for fourteen years. Started back home and then moved here a year ago.”

[abbottjohnson-blog1]

namefromtheking:

“God, yeah. Those fuckin’ things. I had to clean up my eatin’ habits big time. I’m almost a rabbit like Ettie’s friend.” He chuckled and started to smoke. “You got a point there, but at least it’s my own bar. I do it for m’self and don’t have to answer to no corporate suit who knows nothin’ about bars.”

“Yeah, I’ve had to stop eating Korean and chinese and such... The shit Jae loves to eat and makes me crave every single damn time.” He snorted. “That’s true! You don’t have to really respond to the big man unless y’know, you’re getting foreclosed or something, which god forbid ever damn happens.”

[abbottjohnson-blog1]

ofcouraged:

     ‘ you BROKE his nose ??? maybe adviser is the best position for you, then. ’ she believed him entirely – he looked like someone who could break someone’s nose with a pillow. but he also seemed like a sweetheart, it was ahrd for her to envision him actually doing it. ‘ i’d say do it once, and if you don’t like it, at least you have a cool costume. ’

“By pure accident. I guess I slammed the pillow too hard into his face.. Granted, it was one of those like memory foam ones, so...” He gave a sheepish smile and nodded. “Yeah, that is true! Maybe I will give it a shot at some point in my life. Might bring Jae and Mina along too.”

[abbottjohnson-blog1]

ofcouraged:

     ‘ well, that’s why you use blunt swords, silly. ’ she couldn’t help but giggle at his hesitance. ‘ you could always be a guard or adviser, no bloodshed necessary. ’

“Well.. I can say I’ve broken my friend’s nose once with a pillow. Long story short, he pissed me off, I hit him hard, and he went down. I’m scared of doin’ that shit again.” He laughed. “That’s true. That might honestly be a lot better really. Maybe I’ll do larping one day, who knows.”

[abbottjohnson-blog1]

namefromtheking:

“That modelesque girly figure of yours, Abbott?” Presley chuckled. “I don’t talk about the degrees much. Especially since I own a bar and never went back for the doctoral in either. I didn’t want to be tied down to a company or a office. I like being free.”

“Well not just that. Y’know bout them stomach issues. You’ve dealt with that shit yourself, remember?” He laughed and shrugged. “Understandable. Though, technically you are kinda tied down to a company in a way, what with you and ownin’ a bar and such.” He pointed out.

[abbottjohnson-blog1]

blossxmchild:

“Well you are a bit intimidating. But the stereotypes mostly comes from the news. The news is always about the doom and gloom, the little acts of kindness are always hidden in that moving bottom bar because the news simply wants to feed us the bads and rarely the goods.” She smiles brightly at the officer, trying her best to show compassion.”But I appreciate what you do to protect Woodridge.” She gives him a little salute and giggles.

“Honey, I’m about as intimidating as a damn box of cheez-its! There’s a legit reason why my husband, my twin, and the whole police force calls me Cuddles. And that is fairly true... Which is sad. They need to focus more on the happy shit, like people being saved and less on the police brutality. Not all of us bash people’s heads in like Negan or some shit like that!” He shook his head with a snort. “Thank you though, ma’am. I really do appreciate that and I hope people start appreciating that too more.”

[abbottjohnson-blog1]

sethanderscn:

“Aw, man. I’m sorry to hear about that. I thought it was just a personal preference. But hey, on the bright side, at least you won’t have any sort of temptation, right? Yeah, I get it. It’s super fucked out there today, man. Some people want to marginalize or throw a stereotype blanket over specific groups of society, you know? You seem like a good guy though.”

“Naw I wish it was though, in all honesty, I do have temptations, which leads me doublin’ over in imense pain, but since my husband’s a doctor, he’s able to help me out when no one else can... But yeah, it is kinda fucked how people think all cops are horrible, murderous, evil men, y’know? I mean... I’ve never really hurt a fly.”

[abbottjohnson-blog1]

dxvidward:

God knew David loved his iced teas with extra sugar and god knew David loved good stories – his brows furrowed in interest, his hands wet from the condensation of his drink that he had already almost forgotten. “Hey, man, you know how the world works - it’s obsessed with spotlighting the that really shaped my opinion that cops aren’t always all about ‘to protect and serve’” Truth spilled made his throat heavy, taking sips of his watered down drink. “Ah, hey but that doesn’t mean that’s how I see you, though. I know everyone’s different –,” and in a effort to bring the mood lighter, he asked about the cop’s husband with quirky smile and a giggle. “You know you don’t have to tell me about your husband because he already talks about it too much, but feel free to retell how you got together. I love a good ol’ love story.”

“Yeah a lot of cops aren’t exactly protect and serve guys. But a lot of us also are, like myself, and my partner. We’re willin’ to help as much as we can, from robberies to just getting a kitten down from a tree. Though, that’s more Aryn’s job since I’m terrified of heights. Though, big man like me has to kinda be scared of that, y’know? It’s a long damn way down” He laughed and took a sip of his coffee, wincing a bit at the bitterness but decided to say nothing about it. “That’s true, I know how Jae loves t’blather on about us and shit, but... I’ll save your ears unless there’s specific stuff y’wanna know.” He laughed.

[abbottjohnson-blog1]

jaehyunisms:

“You better not be, because I’m the one who’s gotta take care of you, you little shit.” Jae shook his head, a small laugh at his husband’s jokes. “Used to be worse. When I was a kid. Working in a hospital I think you sort of want to build up a stronger immune system. What good is a doctor if they get sick all the time? Mhm, I know he’s joking. Cuddles? Oh yeah, that’s sticking. I’m telling all your cop buddies.” Jae teased with a wide grin on his face. “Mac and cheese it is. No need to pick anything up, I’m sure we have stuff. I’m just lazy, and that’s an easy dinner.”

“Y’love me though. And y’know I’d clean up after myself.. well.. for the most part. ‘Sides, you’re a doctor and can play doctor on me.” Abbott teased as he wrapped his arms around his husband’s waist. “Well, that is pretty damn true, isn’t it? It’s like a cop that’s scared of gettin’ physical with someone. What good are they, y’know?” He snorted. “Oh honey, trust me. Everyone there already knows about the nickname since I’m the one that likes to cuddle and hug all the officers, especially when they’re upset. I’m just that guy. And well that is true...”

[swoonfm]

     ‘ have you ever considered larping ??? you totally have that… medieval face. you know, i could totally make you a costume, if you wanted, you just gotta think of a name. i MIGHT have stolen mine from game of thrones, but i’m sure nobody would notice if you did too. ’

[abbottjohnson-blog1]

“I actually haven’t believe it or not. Though, I’ve heard it’s a lot of fun, though... I don’t really wana hurt anyone since I’m pretty damn strong.” Abbott smiled a bit. “I’m a big teddy bear, so... There’s a reason my husband and everyone in the police force calls me Cuddles.”

[abbottjohnson-blog1]

evcnblake:

“Thank you, that’s very sweet of you.” She said softly. “My name’s Evan. It’s nice to meet you.”

“No problem at all, sweetheart.” He smiled. “Officer Abbott Johnson. It’s nice to meet you, Evan.”

[abbottjohnson-blog1]

thvntophcbia:

“I have to agree with him. You look like 10 years younger without it.” He teased him a bit before letting out a small hum, moving to put the file on the table for them to look through. “I guess a good place to start is try and find potential exists, see which ones just the two of us can cover.”

“Right? It fucking sucks. I actually look my age kinda if not older with it.” He snorted as he rubbed a bit at his precious mustache. “Well I know the bossman said somethin’ about there being two scrawny kids and two bigger, bulkier guys, so...”

[abbottjohnson-blog1]

sethanderscn:

Resting his chin on his fist, Seth nodded as the man spoke. “I mean, I’m going to be straight up with you, anyone who hates donuts is someone I can’t trust. But no, I’m totally kidding. I never really got the cop hate. And you seem pretty cool, so,” he lifted his shoulders into a shrug. “Keep on keepin’ on, my friend.”

“Well, it’s more t’do with my health and issues and such. They’re too sugary for me and I get massive stomach problems from ‘em, so..” He shrugged a bit. “Yeah, cop hate is bullshit, I mean.. Do you see me goin’ around, shooting my gun at random people of color pedestrians or any damn pedestrians period? Hell the fuck no! I wouldn’t dream of it! Only reason I’d ever shoot someone is if they had a gun or some shit and were aimin’ it at me. or my husband or kid.”

[abbottjohnson-blog1]

thvntophcbia:

“Hey now, I might be pretty but that doesn’t mean I can’t use it to my advantage. It’s distracting, the perfect decoy.” He was joking, mostly. There was a time or two when someone got distracted by his appearance, finding it hard to believe he was a cop. “Alright, how do you think we should approach this?”

“That is true. Most peole suspect I’m a cop unless I shave. And then I hear it from Jae for the next month or so while it’s growing back that I should never shave it.” He shrugged a bit. “Fuck, honestly I’m not too sure...”

[abbottjohnson-blog1]

evcnblake:

“Something like that.” She muttered. “I have absolutely no idea what to write… nothing.” She whined.

“Yeah, I know how that is... Jae does too, actually...” He sighed a bit. “Well... I’m here to help if I can at all.

[abbottjohnson-blog1]

jaehyunisms:

“I doubt it’s good, you’ll make yourself sick eating bad sweets.” Jae rolled his eyes. “Unfortunately I was working while you stayed home with the little one. Hey, liar, I rarely get sick. And that’s a surprise considering I work in a hospital. It’s usually Mina who passes it off to everyone else.” He laughed and nodded his head with a shrug of his shoulders. “Probably not. I’ve learned to get used to it because I’m tired of correcting him. Wait, speaking of dinner, what are we doing for dinner? I don’t feel like cooking if I don’t have to. You think she’ll go for mac and cheese?”

“Well.. If I’m throwing up tomorrow and dying of dysentery, you know what happened.” He joked playully and grinned. “That is a damn huge surprise, Jae.. Really. I guess you china men just have a really good immune system.” He teased. “Yeah, you know Cos will never change his ways. Though you know he’s always joking with that. He’s the one that started calling me Cuddles all the time.” He snorted. “I bet she might. If not, I can just get somethin’ from the store.”