author’s note: Thank you for reading this ridiculous story. Now for the good stuff.
pairing: female!OCxjake
time frame: 2016-2018
word count: almost 7.8k this part
warnings: language, underage drinking (implied), mentions of sex and sexual situations, nudity, oral (m. and f. receiving), unprotected penetrative sex
You know how most people’s lives change pretty drastically when they move away for college?
What, were you expecting me to claim that I was different, special in some way?
I’m not.
If you’re wondering, Sam and I were fine. I guess he’d matured enough to keep speaking to me when he found out I’d almost fucked his brother. I was still immature enough to give him a classic three day long silent treatment over the whole Sam said he thought you were fucking that guy you dated thing.
I even made him agree to never bring me up to Jake again. Ever.
Anyway, my first semester of college kind of kicked my ass. I was smart enough, but I couldn’t decide on a major and it made the whole experience feel like a waste of time. I didn’t meet anyone worth much of my effort to get to know, and I spent a lot of nights alone in my dorm room. I barely even liked my roommate. Meanwhile, Sam was at home breezing through his last year of high school and preparing to actually go on tour.
Like a real tour. It was my worst nightmare. And I had to hear all about it when I came home for winter break.
But he was excited, of course he was. And I was proud of him. And Josh, and Danny. I couldn’t bring myself to have positive feelings for Jake. After he’d rejected and embarrassed me (again), I’d run off to school determined to lose my v-card to literally anyone who’d never been to Frankenmuth or heard of their band. Fortunately for me, almost no one had heard of either.
So, I did. And Matthew Nowak had been a very cursory and lazy fuck, but he got the job done. I mean, he popped the cherry or whatever, he didn’t make me come, and I never gave him another opportunity to try.
I almost didn’t even go home for Christmas, my dad had been begging me to come see him, but I knew if I didn’t go home, I might never see my best friend again.
Was that a little dramatic? Sure, but the dates for tour were going to start around my birthday, before he even graduated, and he wouldn’t be home for the entire summer. There were talks of getting signed, to a fucking label. Releasing their music to the world. Jake’s dreams were coming true and he was stealing my best fucking friend from me.
He really was an asshole.
I went back to school in the spring a little sad, nostalgic for a time when things were easy and fun, and I always had a weekend smoke sesh in the Kiszka garage to look forward to. There was nothing for me to look forward to in Ann Arbor. Until I met Soph.
Sophie and I were paired up within the first few days of one of our classes, and thank God we were. We clicked instantly, she was almost like a female version of Sam with even better hair.
She got me out of my slump, out of my dorm room and out of my own head.
As we started hanging out more outside of class, we learned about each other’s lives at home, and she let me talk endlessly about Sam. About moving away from Traverse and finding the best friend I’d ever had, growing up with him, becoming an adult at his side.
I don’t remember exactly when it happened, but eventually I ran out of stories and didn’t feel the need to talk about him much anymore.
For a few months, we worked hard and partied harder, and I felt more and more like myself, or my new self, with her help. My new self must have been putting out certain vibes that attracted attention, because I wasn’t hurting for it. Not that I really had back home, but home had narrowed my view, the Kiszkas my whole world. Even when I did date boys, Sam was there to tell me he didn’t like them, then Josh was there shining brighter than the sun, blinding me to them.
Then Jake was there. Ruining me for everyone else, just by existing.
In Ann Arbor, Soph had the opposite effect. Every guy was cute, cute enough to talk to, flirt with, party with. A select few were hot enough to make out with, let them touch our bodies, we would touch theirs. Dance with them, let them pull us close, throw our arms around them and tell them to take us somewhere quieter.
There was that one time, I’d gone back to this guy’s dorm and he’d put a playlist on shuffle. Ya know, so we wouldn’t be heard. And right before I put his dick in my mouth, fucking Highway Tune started playing.
Instant no. I left him there with a hard-on and zero promises of returning.
But anyway, Soph and I had fun every weekend, studied every weeknight. By the end of the second semester, we’d decided on my major, and made sure we would share more classes in the fall.
When summer break rolled around, we spent the first half with her family in Grand Rapids and the second, reluctantly, with my mom. Home was weird without Sam, but he was off galavanting across the U.S. Communication between us had been sparse, though he did call me once every few weeks to fill me in, and let’s be honest, brag. I didn’t mind the bragging, much, but even with how well things were going at school, I’d have given anything to drop it all and be with him.
Even if it meant tolerating Jake.
Life goes on, time keeps on slipping, the wheel in the sky keeps on turning and all that.
College was hard, but Soph and I really buttoned up in the fall. More studying, fewer boys, a little less fun, but Michigan gets cold fast and running wild all over campus didn’t hold the same appeal. We vowed to live it up in the spring, maybe settle down and get some boyfriends. Maybe not.
“Holy shit holy shit!”
We were in the library, Soph across the table from me with wide eyes, laptops, books and notes spread out between us.
“Shhh! What? What the fuck?” She leaned in conspiratorially and I turned my phone around to show her the screen.
“They’re playing in Detroit. They’re coming home!”
“Will you be quiet? Who, Sam’s band?”
That made me laugh every time. I always called it Sam’s band, because he would’ve loved it and someone else I knew would have loathed it.
They hadn’t been home in forever, they were hardly even in the states, and when they’d played the Fillmore in the spring I’d been so bogged down with new classes and so much fucking homework, I couldn’t justify leaving campus let alone the city.
But they were coming back, and I’d be on winter break. Sam had sent me their schedule, which I’d thrust into Soph’s hands.
“Aww, reunion! I wish I could go with you.” Her pouty face was unmatched, but she was going with her parents to visit family in Ohio for the holidays. For a moment, that realization made me panic. I wanted to go, needed to see my best friend, but to do it alone? Why did that make me nervous?
Maybe because I hadn’t seen him in two years. Maybe because I hadn’t seen him in more than two. I doubted I’d even get to spend much time with Sam, and I doubted further that I’d be able to get him away from the others.
Not that I wouldn’t want to hang out with Danny, or even Josh. But… well, you know.
I wondered if they were going home for the brief break between Detroit and Seattle, and I made a mental note to ask Sam.
I’d insisted on buying my own ticket to the show, their third added at the Fox after the first two sold out, but Sam wouldn’t hear of it. He set me up with a ticket and access to see them backstage, and I tried not to let it get to my head. It's not like they were famous or anything.
Selling out multiple shows.
I FaceTime’d Sophie so she could help me decide what to wear - I hadn’t put this kind of pressure on an outfit since the night I kissed… yeah, you saw how that went.
We landed on skin tight faux leather pants, an extremely low-cut black and tan floral print top with a fitted bodice and wide, flowy sleeves, and chunky black boots. I planned to top it off with a vintage fur coat Sam and I had found thrifting a few years back. We’d always joked that it originally belonged to the old lady they named their band after.
“Okayyyyy, so what about your underwear?”
I stopped spinning in front of my phone, where I’d been showing Sophie the whole get up.
“What the fuck do you mean, my underwear? Who cares?”
“Babe, it’s a rock show! What if you meet a super hot guy with like, tattoos and a tongue ring that wants to rock your world?” I watched her eyebrows waggle as she stuck her own tongue out at me.
“Yeah I don’t think that’s really their demographic.”
But… an idea started to form. Sexy underwear would make me feel sexy. Who would be irritated to see me, looking and feeling sexy, arguably hotter now than I’d ever been? Who would be downright furious to watch me get a little flirty, a little provocative with another man? Men? His brothers?
Ohhh, Jake Kiszka was gonna kill me. And it was gonna be worth it.
The ticket Sam held for me was in the front fucking row. Of the seats, behind the pit floor, but still. How embarrassing, what if I didn’t know any of the words? I didn’t really listen to their music, not since I was in high school, watching them practice or play at Fischer.
As you can imagine, I didn’t need to worry. Every, single, song was familiar. Songs that they’d written or started writing when Sam was barely fifteen. But the people around me knew them all, better than I did actually.
That was… pretty cool.
I left my seat as the guys were blowing kisses and throwing flowers into the crowd, stopped in a bathroom to check myself out, and followed Sam’s directions to make it backstage. The guys made it there before me, I could hear their excited voices from the hall as a security guard led me to their green room. We slowed as we got closer, and I stopped the guard before we reached the door, composing myself, slipping my coat off, smoothing my hair and controlling my expression.
You should've seen his face when I walked through the doorway, slow clapping and wearing my best deadpan. They all turned their heads in my direction, but his face was the one I sought out.
His cheeks were still flushed from the stage (he honestly goes crazy up there) but he immediately turned so bright pink I hoped his head would explode.
“YOU’RE HERE! Holy shit, you’re here!” Sam rushed at me and instantly my feet were off the ground, he swung me around and I couldn’t help the smile that stretched wide as I laughed with him.
“You’re sweaty! Put me down, idiot!” He dropped me to my feet and grabbed a hand, lifted it above my head and spun me in a circle.
“Look at you, you look hot, T!” His laughter cracked loud and joyous and my heart soared. He didn’t mean anything by it, of course, but he was right and I knew it.
Danny approached me next, taller and even broader than I ever remembered him being, and wrapped me up in another sweaty hug. “Good to see you, did you get tinier?” We laughed and I slapped him away. Then Josh caught my eye, arms crossed over his bare chest under an open black vest and leaning against the vanity, grinning.
I moved toward him and he met me in the middle, opened his arms and threw them around me. He didn’t make fun of me, or comment on the way I looked. Our cheeks were pressed together and he turned his face and dropped a kiss to mine. “We’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you guys too, more than you know.”
He let me go and his grin stretched into a blinding smile. “What’d you think of the show?”
“It was fucking awesome, I can’t believe you guys are like, legit rockstars! Seems like yesterday you were jamming in your garage.” Sam sidled up and threw a long arm over my shoulders.
“To be fair, we didn’t really stop jamming in the garage until last year, T.”
I knew that, I guess. But I’d missed it, and I’d missed the moment my best friend grew up. But this wasn’t the time to get weepy about that. I still had a mission to accomplish.
Turning out of Sam’s hold, I faced him. He no longer looked apoplectic, but his nostrils were flared and his arms were crossed, one hand running a finger across his chin below pursed lips. His focus was distinctly somewhere on the floor, but I walked toward him and watched his eyes connect with my boots and then travel, slowly, all the way up my body.
Get a good look, asshole.
And he did, his gaze lingered for a fraction of a second on my hips, and then again on my chest before it finally met my face.
Say something stupid, I dare you.
“Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes?”
My own eyes rolled in my skull. “Good to see you too, Jacob. How have you been?”
His features twisted in confusion for just a moment before he smoothed them back out. Good.
“Fantastic, living the dream, ya know. How have you been, Tiny?”
“Oh, really good!” I crossed one arm, tucking it under my tits and pushing them up while I twirled a finger through a strand of my hair with the other hand. “I’m majoring in English and Writing and aced all of my finals this past semester. Just really living my best on-campus life. Work hard, play hard and all that.”
It was so satisfying, the way he’d accidentally looked at my chest and then failed to look back at my face until I was done speaking. I swear to you my pussy fluttered when he swallowed, hard, before responding. It was that satisfying.
“That’s- ahem, that’s great. Glad to hear it. Thanks for coming by to say hi or whatever but we need to pack up our gear and head to the hotel.”
Nice try.
“Oh, cool! I’d love to come with you guys, I just miss you all so much.” His face started turning pink again before I looked over my shoulder. “Sammy! Can I come with and hang out at the hotel? Just for a little bit?” I whipped my head back, my hair swinging with it, to see his face before Sam even answered.
I wanted to see if steam came out of his ears.
“Fuck yeah! You can crash with me if you want!”
One corner of my mouth lifted and curled. “Perfect!”
I regret to inform you that no steam came out. But I think it was pretty close.
When I pulled in at the hotel, I texted Sam and he told me they were in the lobby so I flipped my visor down, checked my face and fluffed my hair. After a deep breath, I got out of the car and made my way inside.
The hotel wasn’t anything too ritzy, and I figured despite it all, they weren’t that famous. Sam still looked and sounded like the best friend I’d grown up with, though there was something about him that had become more attractive. All of them actually exuded more… sex appeal?
Ugh, musicians.
My timing was pretty good, I entered the building in time to catch them getting in the elevator, Jake being the last left in the lobby. But we caught each other’s eye and instead of walking on, he backed up a step. The doors closed and the elevator rose without him.
He stood there, hands tucked into the pockets of his jeans, and waited for me to reach him. When I did, he spoke before I could.
“What are you doing here, T?”
I painted confusion on my face instead of the pure gratification I actually felt. “Visiting my friends? What are you-“
“Cut the bullshit. It’s unbecoming.”
Okay, that was a little wrinkle in my plan. I hadn’t even started shamelessly flirting with anyone yet and he was already cursing at me. I doubled down.
“I came to see them, Jake.” I pressed the button to call the elevator back down and crossed my arms.
“And what about me?”
“What about you?” Just as I glanced up, feigning more interest in the LED display of numbers as the elevator came down than this conversation, he stepped closer and gripped my arm. Pulled me closer.
It felt familiar.
“I’m not buying it. Come on.” The elevator dinged and the doors opened to an empty car, but he was already pulling me down a hall toward a stairwell door. It swung open as he shoved through it, yanked me through and pushed me ahead of him, and it slammed shut behind us.
The stairwell was silent, our breathing was amplified and bounced off the walls. His voice made me flinch.
“Third floor. Go.”
Four flights of stairs and two landings separated me from their room. That was fine, I could do it.
Except he stayed behind me the entire time and didn’t speak a word. By the time I pushed the door to the third floor open, my nerves were fried and I was still trying to discern his reasoning for taking the stairs. If he had yelled at me or pushed me to the wall and kissed me in the stairwell, it would’ve made more sense. Instead, he placed a hand low on my back and led me down a deserted hallway to room 307. I breathed a shaky sigh of relief, ready to abandon the plan completely and run to Sam, use him as a personal human shield for the rest of the night.
But he pulled a key card out of his pocket and slid it into the lock, and the heavy door opened to a dark, empty room.
Jake stepped inside and flicked on a light, holding the door open for me. I didn’t move.
“Jake, what-“
“Get in here, we need to talk.”
It sounded like a terrible idea, I hadn’t come here to talk. I came to spend time with Sam and do enough harmless flirting with the guys to drive Jake crazy.
“No. Where are the guys?”
He just stared at me for a tense few seconds before he sighed impatiently. “In Sam and Danny’s room.”
“And which room would that be, exactly? I’ll just go knock-“
“Please.”
I know, I know. Did he really have to go and ask nicely?
“Fine, you know what? You have five minutes then I’m the fuck out of here.” He had the nerve to give me a tight-lipped smile, lift his palm and wave me in as I started to pass him and head into the room. Then he let the door swing shut.
We were alone.
The room was pretty standard, two queen-size beds, a table and two chairs. Not exactly rockstar shit. I tossed my coat onto the closest bed.
“You want a drink?”
I dropped into a chair, crossed my legs and folded my hands over my knee. “No, I don’t. What did you need to talk to me about? You have four minutes.”
He pulled a White Claw out of the mini fridge, popped the tab and sat at the end of the bed closest to me. After a swig from the can, he leaned forward and propped his elbows on his knees.
“Three minutes.”
“Jesus, give it a rest, T.” He pinned me with a glare and my eyes widened. “Don’t. Don’t act all affronted because you’re not getting your way, I’m sick of it.”
“I don’t know what you mean, I-“
“Stop! Tell me why you’re really here.”
“To see Sam! I told you-“
He stood from the bed, leaned across me and slammed the can onto the table. I jumped in my seat, but then he bent down and gripped the arms of the chair on either side of me. Right in my face, he ripped me to shreds.
“I’m tired of this, T. Since day one, everything has always had to be all about you, your feelings, your stupid ideas, your fucking games.”
That was ridiculous and it straightened my spine, I sat up taller and put us nose to nose, but he didn’t stop.
“How many times have you come between us and Sam? Pitted us against each other? Run away when you didn’t get your way, with one of us or all of us?”
With a huff, he pushed himself away from me but now I was ready for a fight. Launching from the chair, my body followed his. “And what about you, Jake? You spent years fucking with me, leading me on, just to humiliate me over and over again!”
“Is that really what you think?!” We were squared up now, hands flailing as we yelled in each other's faces. “I didn’t do shit, and you spent years avoiding me, making me feel awkward and unwelcome in my own house because God forbid I ever be in the presence of such a self-entitled, delicate fucking princess!”
“Oh, you fucking prick. Fuck you-“
“So eloquent, that’s really lovely Tiny.”
You already know that he said that on purpose.
“Don’t. Call. Me. That.” I was fuming, the steam was probably coming out of my ears, and that pissed me off further. Everything about this was infuriating, my night completely off-railed, my time with my friends ruined. I was done.
I threw my hands up and then put them on his shoulders, with all intention to shove him out of my way and walk out of the room with some part of my dignity intact, for once.
But that’s not exactly what happened.
Because once I touched him, the tension reached a breaking point. And boy did it break.
Before I could push him away, his arms were around me, his hands spread across my back, and he pulled me in.
Yep, he was kissing me.
Our mouths slammed together and all the anger, all the fury, combusted between them.
My own hands betrayed me and shot from a grip on his shoulders to a grip in the hair at the back of his head, still slightly damp from sweat or a shower at the venue, I had no idea. And I didn’t care.
He ravaged my lips until they felt bruised, opened them with his and forced our tongues to battle for dominance, sucked the air from my lungs until I couldn’t breathe. I pulled away to drag some back in but he hardly gave me the chance, tugging me back in to kiss my lips, bite my jaw, murmuring between the attacks.
“Why are you really here…”
His hands slid up my back and sunk into my hair, pulled my head to the side so he could continue his attack on my neck, my throat.
“Say it, the truth.”
My brain was in shut down, I forgot what words were and how to make them. His teeth reminded me, scraping along my skin.
“You. For you.”
His lips closed over mine again and he was moving me, two steps backward and we turned, the back of my knees hit the bed where he’d been sitting. Our mouths broke apart, our hands fell away. The sound of our breathing, fast and uneven, thundered between us.
“I’m not gonna stop this time, T.”
My heart stumbled over its next few beats.
“I don’t want you to.”
We fell back into silence as he reached forward and slid his hands up underneath my shirt, rough fingertips pushing the fabric up over my ribs, my chest, I lifted my arms and let him pull it over my head and shook my hair out as he let it drop to the floor.
There was just enough light coming from the only one he’d flicked on, and the moonlight spilling through the uncovered window, that I saw his nostrils flare. His eyes trailed over my lace and silk covered chest before meeting mine.
“You’re so beautiful,” My breath caught, I held it. “I’ve never told you how beautiful you are.”
I couldn’t speak, emotion squeezing my throat, the words I’d always wanted to hear from him tightening every muscle in my body. So instead, I mirrored his actions and tucked my fingers under the hem of his t-shirt. Soft, heated skin met my touch and I flattened my palms over his hips, up over his stomach and I swear he trembled. Seriously! When they made it to his chest, I could feel the hard, steady beat of his heart, rapid beneath my hand.
Maybe he knew I could feel it, maybe not, but he leaned in and pulled a soft, sweet kiss from my lips before he took over and tugged the shirt over his head.
“Jake…” His chest and stomach were lightly toned and completely flawless, a glimpse of which I’d gotten when he was onstage, shirtless under an open jacket. I wanted to tell him just how perfect I thought he was, he’d always been, but the words wouldn’t come. So I bent my knees and dropped to the bed, the barely there happy trail leading up from the low waist of his pants now directly in front of my face.
I leaned forward and kissed it. A strangled noise came from above me, I smiled against his skin. Then his hand was in my hair and he pulled, forcing my face up. He smirked.
“You ever done this before?”
Asshole.
Blindly I reached for and found the button of his jeans, popped it open and worked his zipper down slowly.
“Please don’t piss me off, or I won’t be nice.”
A chuckle rumbled through his chest. “Just making sure.”
His grip in my hair kept my chin tilted up, eyes locked with his. I peeled the denim over his hips and pulled it down to his knees. Heat rolled off his body in waves, I was dying to look at it, take it all in but there was fire in his stare and I was burning. My fingertips mapped out what I couldn’t see, found the subtle V that led down into his briefs and traced it before I tucked them under the elastic and rolled it down his legs.
Jake Kiszka’s cock bobbed in the air between his hips and my face. Crazy, I know. I wrapped shaky fingers around him, felt how thick and hard he was before I’d even seen it, tried to picture what I could remember from his dark bedroom.
“Fuck, T.” I tightened my grip on him, just a little, stroked him once. His eyes slid shut. “I can’t believe you’re here.” I stroked him again and his grasp on my hair loosened, my chin dropped and there it was. As perfect as the rest of him, his dick was big, the head flushed pink. My mouth watered.
For real.
In that moment, I wondered quickly what he liked, how fast, how slow, how hard? My tongue slid out and tasted him, just the very tip, and he snatched my hair up again. The sting in my scalp made my eyes water and I opened my lips and took him in, wrapped them around him and swirled my tongue over his skin. He whimpered.
I could be remembering that wrong, but I swear he did.
He wanted to take control, I could feel it in the smallest amount of pressure from his knuckles on my scalp, but I wanted to be stubborn. I was tired of the control he seemed to have over every one of our interactions. I released him with a soft pop and his eyes shot open.
“C’monnn,” he groaned. I took my hand off of his dick and pushed him back, he almost stumbled, his legs still trapped in his half-removed jeans. I stood from the bed, spun us around and reversed our positions, then pushed him by the shoulders to sit.
“Patience, Jake, patience.” I flicked the front clasp of my bra open and felt the unrestrained relief as my tits spilled out, then that flutter of satisfaction as his eyes went wide right before going soft and dreamy. What can I say, Jake’s a breast man. “Aht.” He’d reached for them, lifted his hands like he just couldn’t wait to feel them again, but they paused in midair. “I said patience.”
He huffed out a sigh and dropped them, so I continued. Made a little show out of unzipping my boots, sliding them off and peeling the skin-tight material of my pants down my legs. His fingers flexed against his thighs the entire time, clenching into fists and releasing over and over. I waited until I was left in just the lacy thong to instruct him to remove his pants.
His boots were kicked off and denim tossed away in an instant.
And there we were again. Jake, fully bared to me while we stared at each other, my tits out and pussy covered. But this wasn’t going to end the way it did two years ago.
Not if I had anything to say about it.
I dropped to my knees and his legs spread, making room for me to kneel between them. His cock jumped when I touched him, just my fingertips, up his shins and over his kneecaps before I placed my palms flat on his thighs. When I peeked up at him through my lashes, he was staring hard, jaw clenched and nostrils flared again. So I continued to trace my fingers over his skin, further up his thighs, over his hips, up and down his happy trail.
Through gritted teeth, “Baby, please.”
Baby? I was throbbing, slick between my thighs already but that hit me like lightning.
I wrapped a fist around him at the base and took him all the way to the back of my throat.
I had to.
A string of rough curses fell from his lips and a hand tangled in my hair, but I kept my composure, sucking him in and stroking with my fist, letting him sink as deep as I could without choking. His skin was hot velvet on my tongue, I could taste his desire, his need, and I couldn’t help the moan that rippled up my throat around his cock.
“Jesus fuck.” His hips jerked, I gagged around him, he fisted the hair at the back of my head and yanked me off of him. “Get up here.”
Remember how I wanted to maintain the control here? Yeah, I failed.
He used his grip on my head to bring my lips to his, his tongue sweeping in to dance with mine immediately, his hands moving down my body to pull me up and into his lap. I threw my arms around him and rocked into it instantly, his roving hands landing on my ass and pulling me in, his dick rock hard and slick with my spit grinding against my silk-covered pussy.
Just like that, I lost control of my insolent mouth too.
The kiss broke and I rested my forehead on his, my eyes trained on what was happening between our hips. “God… I-“ The head of his cock caught on my clit, I gasped at the feeling. “I’ve wanted you for so long.”
Embarrassing, I know. But then… ohh then.
His hands skimmed up my ribs until they were cupping my breasts, thumbs grazing over my nipples.
“I’ve wanted you longer, T. Forever.”
Goosebumps. Literal goosebumps ran up my arms, I shivered, my nipples tightened, and he pulled one into his mouth. He sucked and lapped at it, thumb still moving over the other, and without hesitation he sunk his teeth in.
“Fuck yes, yes yes…”
His tongue circled it again and he released it, pressed a hot and fast kiss to my mouth.
“You still like that, huh?” He chuckled as he opened his lips over the other side. The silk between my legs was soaked, I could feel how easily I was sliding over his cock, and I was getting impatient despite the way I’d reprimanded him hardly ten minutes ago.
“Jake, please…”
He popped off of my nipple and pulled another kiss from my lips, then leaned back and let one corner of his mouth curl up, self-satisfied and cocky.
Still an asshole.
“Please what, baby? Tell me.”
My eyes rolled, even as he tucked his face into the crook of my neck, nipped and licked me there.
“I want you inside, please fuck me.” Self-control, out the window.
“Mmm,” he hummed into my skin, “No.”
Before I could be properly offended, and believe me, I was, he gripped my thighs and hauled me up, then deposited me onto the mattress. Well, tossed me, really. I bounced once, arms and legs flailing, hair falling in my face. By the time I pushed it away and propped myself up on my elbows, he was standing at the foot of the bed, dick in his fist. I opened my mouth to speak, to yell at him or beg him to stick it in, I don’t know, but he was stroking himself, and he moaned. My mouth snapped shut.
“I’m not gonna fuck you,” I scoffed, offended, pissed even. “Yet.” He let himself go and placed his hands on the mattress, then climbed onto the edge of the bed and started crawling towards me.
It was so fucking hot. His cheeks were flushed, his hair wild from my hands, his eyes dark. I backed away, moving up the bed until my shoulders met the headboard. He didn’t stop coming, and I didn’t want him to. Instinctively, my knees bent and my legs fell open, inviting him in. But he didn’t settle there, when his hands reached me, he grabbed me by the calf and threw my leg over his shoulder on his way down.
His mouth opened over damp silk and I cried out, his name or God’s, I’m not sure, but his lips and tongue were moving against me and I may have blacked out. I came to when one of his hands skimmed up my inner thigh, and he broke away long enough to slip two fingers under the material and tug it aside.
Jake Kiszka’s tongue was on my actual, bare pussy.
My shoulders sagged against the headboard as I reached for him, burying my fingers in his already tangled and unruly hair, our eyes met and he dragged his tongue over me again and again.
“Shit, you were right, this is better,” I panted. He smiled against my cunt and I felt it. I smiled too.
My cheeks hurt I was smiling so hard, until he laser-focused his attention to my clit. His lips wrapped around it and he sucked it past them, my jaw dropped.
“Oh, oh my God, oh my God!” He was good at this. Too good. The beginnings of an orgasm were already swirling, tightening in my belly, making my toes tingle. The tip of his tongue moving against me until he opened his mouth over me again, and I felt it plunge inside me. The sounds I was making were unholy but I had no shame, I couldn’t feel anything other than need. I needed to scream, I needed to come, I needed him.
He brought a hand up around my thigh and ran his thumb over my folds, licking himself as he lapped at me, then swirled it over my clit as his tongue fucked me. Before I could even moan, two fingers from his other hand replaced his tongue inside me.
“Jake!”
His head tilted and he pressed his lips against my thigh, kissed it and grinned. “Yes?” Fingers everywhere, filling me and fucking me, circling the most sensitive part of me - I forgot what I wanted to say, if I had even wanted to. Instead I pulled his mouth back, he slid his thumb away and flicked his tongue against me.
“Yessss, yes just like that, please!” I let my eyes close and stars were already dancing behind my lids, I was close, so close, and I told him so. I moaned it and his fingers plunged deep and curled. I screamed it and he sucked my clit back into his mouth.
I came hard, nails dug into his scalp, bucking my hips against his face, screaming his name.
It was unreal. College guys had nothing, fucking nothing, on him.
Before my muscles had even relaxed, he lifted his head from between my thighs and moved up my body, his fingers still pumping slowly inside me as he kissed my hip, my stomach, my breast on his way up to my mouth. He tasted like me when my tongue touched his, and he eased his fingers from my body.
“Absolutely fucking stunning, breathtaking.”
His breath was taken? I still couldn’t breathe, my chest continued to heave as he left the bed, taking my panties down my legs with him, and I could barely lift my head to see what he was doing. My eyes closed and I felt the mattress dip with his weight as he returned and settled on his heels between my legs, still splayed open. I cracked an eyelid and found him watching me, wrapped condom held between his fingers.
Under his gaze, I shifted down until my head rested on the pillows, spreading my legs wider, pussy presented to him on a silver fucking platter.
This was happening. There was absolutely no way this was not happening. Not this time.
“Now, Jake.” Unrecognizable, my voice had a distinct sex kitten-like quality that I loved as soon as it hit my ears. He must have loved it too, because his dick twitched and he gripped it. I reached up and snatched the condom from his fingers, tore it open and started rolling it on while his eyes bugged out and his jaw fell slack.
“Jesus, not your first time, huh?” My hand replaced his around him and I stroked, he leaned over me and I guided the head to my center, moved it through the slick pool of arousal there. He paused, poised to enter me, and met my eyes.
“I’m pretty much out of firsts, Jake.”
His eyes closed, his hips rocked forward, and he pushed just past my opening, the tip not even fully inside me.
I tilted my own hips up, he slipped a fraction of an inch deeper. I whispered, and it was sexy, and seductive. “It could’ve been you.”
He sucked in a sharp breath, opened his eyes and we watched each other’s faces as he sunk deeper, slowly, to the hilt. “It should’ve been me.”
Stunned, speechless, we stayed like that. Unmoving, bodies connected, eyes locked. He broke first, dropping his lips to mine and rocking into me softly. A sound I’d never heard before, quieter than a moan, crept up his throat, trapped behind his lips as they caressed mine. My legs lifted, cradling him between my thighs and wrapping around him.
It was gentle, sweet. The exact opposite of how I knew it would’ve been, if I’d let him be my first, thinking he wasn’t.
I felt my cheeks warm, my eyes pool with tears. I blinked them away. This was everything I’d wanted and more. I knew I’d been an idiot to think otherwise. Especially when he pulled back and delivered a quick, deep thrust and there was no pain. Only pleasure bloomed inside me, hot and volatile.
“Again, more…”
An excellent listener, he repeated it. Again, again, and I met each thrust with my own. Our kiss turned frantic, sloppy, lips and tongues clashing and pushing, pulling and taking. The temperature in the room was rising with the heat of our skin, our bodies slipping against each other. He lifted his chest from mine, hands braced on the pillows on either side of my head, and the conditioned air on our damp skin made us both groan in ecstasy.
I damn near came again, almost commented on it but he dropped back down and shoved an arm between me and the mattress, rolled us both. We laughed as we landed, his hair strewn across the pillow and mine falling in his face. My laughter stuck in my throat when he grabbed onto my thighs and pulled, tucking my knees against his hips and forcing me to sit. I propped myself up with my hands on his chest and fell back into the rhythm, my hips rolling.
“Goddamn, you feel so good, look so good riding me.”
My head fell back as his words rippled through me, his fingertips digging into me, his hands moving my body over his. He brought one to my chest, squeezed me roughly, rolled my nipple with his fingers, pinched it. Hard.
“Yes!” He did the same to the other, my pussy clenched around him.
“You like when it hurts a little, don’t you?”
“I- I don’t know, I guess so- ohhh!” He wrapped a hand around each tit and sunk his fingertips into my flesh, then kneaded them both, ran the pads of his thumbs over the peaks.
“Fuck, that’s so hot. You’re fucking perfect.”
Yeah, I lost my mind a little bit. My hips bucked wildly in his lap. Perfect? Me? My nails pressed into his skin, I dragged them down his chest, reveling in the sharp hiss sucked between his teeth, the way his own hips lifted from the bed and he fucked into me. Sharp, fast thrusts hitting me so deep I was screaming his name. He sat up and pulled my face to his, kissed me hard, bit down on my bottom lip, and then tipped me backwards.
My head was nearly hanging off the end of the bed, but really, who cares? My ankles locked behind his back and he was slamming his hips into the back of my thighs.
Fuck, was I gonna come? He had to be close. I lifted my head, now very much hanging off the bed, to ask him.
Beep. Click.
His hips stuttered and paused, we both whipped our heads to the door, which was fucking opening.
Josh appeared, his foot crossed the threshold and he was looking down at his phone.
“GET OUT!!” We yelled in unison. Josh’s head popped up, his eyes went huge, and then he laughed.
“Shit, sorry guys.” He started backing out into the hall, the door creaking closed. “About time,” We heard him chuckling to himself and the door clicked behind him.
Jake turned his face back to me and seemed to realize for the first time that I was barely on the mattress. An arm wrapped around my back and he shifted us until I could look him in the eyes.
“What the fuck…” I whispered up at him.
His smile was subtle and affectionate before it stretched to a full grin, and he huffed a laugh.
“There was no fucking way I was stopping.”
I matched his grin and lifted to pull a kiss from his lips. “Good.”
He tucked his face into my neck and began the roll of his body into mine again. I let my hands roam across his back as he kissed and nipped my skin and his thrusts picked up speed. The orgasm that had been teasing me before we were interrupted built again quickly, and Jake was panting in my ear.
But then… then. A whisper. Low and deep, but a whisper nonetheless.
My name, my real name, hit my ear and I gasped, right on the edge.
“Come for me. Please come for me.”
How could I say no?
It broke, crashed, consumed me. His name on my lips as I tightened, writhed, and shook for him.
He didn’t stop, didn’t slow, he chased after me and followed into the flames. My name burned into my flesh by his kisses, a guttural groan as he came inside me.
Easily the best orgasm I’d ever had. Easily.
Because he’s just a man, albeit an incredibly hot, multiple-orgasm-inducing man, he collapsed on top of me. I let him. I ran my hands over his sweat-dampened hair and the soft skin of his back and we both caught our breath. Then he started giggling.
I pinched his ass. “What’s so funny, Kiszka?”
His head popped up and he propped himself on an elbow, a wide grin splitting his face in half, gorgeous. “I can’t believe we waited so long to do that, that might’ve been the best sex I’ve ever had.”
We both laughed as I slapped his chest. “Might be?!”
“Okay okay, you’re right.” He looked at me dreamily, his eyes bouncing around my face. “It was the best.”
Because I’m a woman, albeit a mind-blowing sex goddess, I started overthinking. I couldn’t help it! You should’ve seen the way he was looking at me.
“Jake…” He lifted his eyebrows, I lifted a hand to his face, tucked a loose strand of hair behind his ear. “What does this mean?”
Those eyebrows knitted together, a quick moment to think that over. Then he kissed me, soft and slow.
“I don’t know what it means. But I do know this hotel has free breakfast downstairs, so be up and ready by nine.” His smile stretched again, and I couldn’t help but laugh.
“Oooh, do you think they have French toast? That’s Sam’s favorite.”
He attacked me, tickled me until I had tears in my eyes, kissed me until I was breathless, and fell asleep with his arms around me.
The truth is, I don’t remember the exact moment I fell utterly, completely in love with Jake Kiszka. Maybe you should ask him.
author’s note: The word "skivvies" means underwear. Apparently not everyone knows that lol
pairing: female!OCxjake
time frame: 2014-2016
word count: 7k this part
warnings: language, more teenage angst, illicit substance use, underage drinking, mentions of sex and sexual situations, fingering, angry Sam
I was serious when I said I couldn’t show my face at the Kiszka household for a while.
Sam showed up at my front door the next afternoon, and immediately started making fun of me for being rejected by his brother.
“Oh Joshy, why won’t you kiss me?!” Complete with immature kissy sounds and puppy dog eyes.
I could only wonder what Josh had told him happened. He wouldn’t tell me. Menace.
It was one thing to hang out with Sam so soon after the incident, but there was no way I could be around Josh. Or even Jake.
The more I thought about that night (which was a lot), the more I over-analyzed Jake’s reaction to his twin cozying up to me.
Was I crazy to think that he was mad at me? Or at Josh? The look on his face had been murderous (it got even more murdery every time I thought about it). Had I imagined that?
Because I’m the luckiest girl on earth, I didn’t have to wait that long to find out.
After three weeks of avoiding their house all together, Sam convinced me to come by for a smoke sesh in the garage. Same as always, the usual, totally casual. I knocked twice on the door and let myself in, sat on the old throw rug right next to Sam, joined the rotation with Danny on the couch across from me and Sam to my left. Around and round it went, while I refused to meet the eyes of anyone in the room but Sammy.
Jake sat upon his ugly floral throne and Josh was tucked into the corner of the couch beside him. I risked peeking up at them, back and forth, whenever I knew they weren’t paying attention.
They were so different. More different than I had ever realized, but Josh seemed okay - a little quiet but he smiled easily and laughed freely. I don’t think Jake even glanced in my direction once, but I was too scared to look at him for too long, so who knows.
Eventually, Sam smoked too much. He did this almost every time, you’d think he’d have figured it out by then. He laid himself flat out on the cement floor and dozed off, so I asked Danny to toss me one of the dingy throw pillows from the couch.
“Here, stupid.” I shoved Sam’s shoulder and he stirred enough to lift his head, I stuffed the pillow underneath it. He went out like a light.
Jake chose the moment Sam passed out to stand from the chair. He stayed there for a second, and I could see him from the corner of my eye. Just standing there, like a total weirdo! So yeah, I looked up at him. Don’t you worry, he was already looking down at me and our eyes locked. Of course they did.
His expression was pretty neutral but made me feel squirmy anyway, so I blinked and looked at Josh instead. You guessed it, he was already looking at me too! Except he’s perfectly lovely and sweet, so he grinned and shrugged his shoulders.
“Come grab some snacks with me, Tiny.”
Nope, Josh didn’t say that. I nearly snapped my neck jerking my head back up to Jake. “C’mon, T.”
When we were still in middle school, Sam and I would sometimes watch reruns of The Twilight Zone, have you ever seen that show? Each episode was a story about some seriously weird and disturbing shit, alternate realities.
This was like that. I had entered the Twilight Zone.
Josh was my only option for help, so I obviously looked over at Danny instead. He was melting into the couch again, lightweight.
“Let’s go.” This Jake was freaking me out. I mean, he didn’t talk to me much under normal circumstances, but he definitely never asked me to go anywhere with him. Let alone demanded it.
“Okay!” Once again, I embarrassed myself under this roof. My voice came out strained and squeaky. Let’s blame it on the dry mouth.
He skirted around the chair and out the side door, and my body just got up to follow him. Traitor! I stepped over Sam and before I made it to the door, Josh’s hand shot out and grabbed my wrist.
“Hey, you okay?”
Ugh, he’s so perfect.
“Yeah, yeah I’m fine but he’s being so weird, right?” Right?!
“He is. He’s been kinda weird for a couple weeks, even with me. But uh… Good luck in there, missed you around here.” He released his hold on my wrist and chuckled. Traitor!
My possible friendship with Josh was tenuous at best, but I was considering a forever type of silent treatment after this betrayal. I sucked a few deep breaths into my lungs before I walked into the house, and when I made it to the kitchen, Jake was leaning against the counter, arms crossed over his chest. He hadn’t even pulled any snacks out. He lifted his eyes to me as I walked in, and did that flippy thing with the hair that always flopped over them.
“What’s up Biebs?” He hated that (he and Sam both did, it was great), and I knew he hated that, but he was getting on my nerves with his attention, with his demands. I could see the hate written all over his face, but I crossed the kitchen and leaned into the counter across from him. Then I matched his wide-legged stance, crossed my arms, and scowled. We stared at each other for a beat, my underarms started to sweat before he responded.
“Where have you been the last few weekends?”
What do you mean he’d noticed I hadn’t been here? Was he for real?
“Uhh, I’ve been around, I guess. What do you care?”
“You avoiding us, Tiny?” He adjusted his stance, straightening up to his full height (a whopping half inch taller than me - what is it with these guys?) but kept his arms across his chest. His hair had fallen back into his eyes and he flipped it away, and I just stared at him in silence. “Something happen the last time you were here?”
What do you know, dickhead?
“Like what, Jacob?” I smoothed out the scowl from between my eyebrows and batted my lashes at him. I’m so innocent! He did not like it. His arms dropped to his sides and he pushed himself away from the counter. In less than a second he was standing right in front of me. In a fraction of that, he had leaned in close, the tip of his nose nearly touching mine. I tried to back away, arching my back over the edge of the counter, but he moved in further.
Now my back was sweating.
“Did you fool around with my brother?”
Jesus. His question breezed over my lips and his words shot straight to my gut. It wasn’t like the soft caress of Josh’s voice asking what I was doing when I’d been begging him to kiss me. This wasn’t like that at all.
“Uh-“ Yeah yeah, I had to clear my throat. I think I stopped breathing. “Who? Sammy? Gross, dude.”
Deflect! Deflect!
“Did you fuck Josh, T?”
WHAT?!
I pushed him away from me. I couldn’t breathe!
“What the hell are you talking about, Jake? Of course I didn’t… do that!” I’d never done that, with anyone, had he lost his mind?
“Then why is he acting so weird? And why haven’t you been here since that night?” He really seemed surprised that I hadn’t fu- had sex with Josh on the couch in the garage. What kind of girl did he take me for?
“Ask him yourself, asshole!”
“I did! Multiple times! He won’t say shit and says you guys are just friends, but that doesn’t explain why you’ve been too chicken-shit to show your face!”
Why was he so close to me again? I put a palm squarely in the middle of his chest, ready to push his ass to the floor if I had to, but he wrapped his fingers around my wrist and squeezed. Kinda hard.
“My own brother won’t tell me the truth and it’s your fault.” He pushed my hand back into my own chest. “What did you do to him?”
I was truly at a loss for words, so I uttered a few that I honestly had never said to anyone before. Not even Sam.
“Fuck you, Jake.”
But he didn’t even move! His face sort of twisted up, like he was confused, but I don’t think I could have been any more clear.
“Grow up, Tiny.”
Ugh, when did he learn how to push all my buttons? “You grow up, and mind your own business you creep. What, are you jealous I kissed Josh and not you?”
You should’ve seen it, seriously. You had to be there. He sprung away from me like I’d electrocuted him.
“You are! Oh this is hilarious, you’re jealous.” I had to say it, the look on his face was a mixture of disgust and embarrassment. I couldn’t believe it. “Do you like me Jake? Huh? You wanna kiss me Jake?”
There’s no excuse for that one. I still don’t know why I said it. But then, ohhhh then, he rushed back into my space, wrapped both hands around the base of my skull, and slammed his lips against mine.
See? Luckiest girl on earth.
A lot of things happened in a span of a very few seconds.
The weight of his body pushed me into the counter pretty hard, but I barely registered the pain. My first reaction was obviously shock, confusion, but it quickly turned into acceptance and my lips went from stiff against his to soft and welcoming.
Yep. I kissed him back.
My hands flew up and wrapped around his wrists, and he actually gripped my hair. I gasped into the kiss and he slipped his tongue into my mouth. He groaned, I moaned and-
“Seriously?!”
We bounced apart like the opposite poles of two magnets. Jake didn’t stop moving backwards until he hit the counter across from me.
“This is seriously fucked up, guys.” Sam stood in the doorway of the kitchen, eyes red and unfocused, but they landed on me. “Go home, T. I shouldn’t have even asked you to come here.”
Before I could argue or even get upset with him, he turned out of the room and was gone.
I was confused. Very confused. My heart was still beating erratically in my chest and my breaths didn’t feel right either. Of all the people on the planet, I had to look to Jake effing Kiszka for help.
“Jake…” My voice came out small, weak.
For a minute, he just shook his head. My vision went a little blurry.
I am not going to cry in front of another one of these idiots!
“Jake.” Stronger that time, better. “Why did you do that?”
“Why did you?”
“You kissed me first! I-“
“You liked it.”
No, no I did not. I loved it. There was enough potential that I could’ve been smitten with it.
“You’re disgusting.” As I found my voice, I also found some anger. That anger coerced my feet into action, and I found myself toe to toe with him again. I pushed a finger right into his chest, for good measure. “Don’t ever-“
I learned a few things that night. One thing was that Jake was a really terrible listener.
He didn’t grab me again, he didn’t crowd me or slam his mouth to mine. He just leaned forward and let his lips hover over mine. That shut me up real quick.
“You sure, T?” Ugh, he whispered. And it was sexy, and seductive.
Another thing I learned that night was that Jake was a real prick.
Because he whispered those words across my lips, wrapped his hands around my upper arms and spun us around, backed me into the counter…
And walked away.
With all that being said, that might have been the night I started falling for Jake Kiszka. But I don’t really remember.
Sam didn’t speak a word to me for six days.
He was really mad at me! Or at least I figured he was, since he sent me away and said I never should have been there to begin with. And he ignored all my texts. And calls. Shit, I even emailed him once.
I passed him in the halls at school all week, tried to catch his attention from a distance, watched him purposefully look past me, or through me each time.
I had really fucked up.
On the seventh day, he gave it a rest. A full week since incident #2, he texted me.
sammy: I’m sorry too
That was it. I had apologized a hundred unanswered times, pleaded with him to just talk to me, for a week. After so much silent treatment, I didn’t really know how to address it.
Me: my dad wants me to stay with him for the summer
That was true. My dad always wanted me to stay with him for the summer, but I usually chose to stay home and traded out the other, shorter holiday breaks with him. I hadn’t seriously been considering it, until incident #2.
sammy: In Traverse? Are you gonna go?
Me: yeah.
What did you expect me to say? I needed to get out of the bubble that was our town and away from all the testosterone. Granted, Traverse City is only like three hours away, but that was pretty far for a kid with no license.
Sam didn’t text me back. I was glad I was leaving.
School let out for the summer and my dad picked me up that weekend. Traverse City isn’t all that different from home, aside from triple the population. There’s plenty to do outdoors - beaches and trails - but my dad didn’t exactly provide the same kind of company as Sam.
When you’re running free with your best friend, the break never seems long enough. This was the longest summer I could remember, but by early July Sam and I were back on regular speaking terms. We texted all the time, and eventually accepted each other’s apologies.
But after not hearing from him at all before I left town, the first time he reached out was not all that fun.
sammy: Can I ask you a question
Me: shoot
sammy: Why did it have to be my brothers?
Me: …
Me: what do you mean
sammy: You could make out with ANYONE else
sammy: Why them?
So Josh did tell him something.
Me: Josh told you we kissed?
sammy: That’s not an answer.
The truth? You know the truth. I started crushing on Josh sometime between his bare chest at Fischer Hall and the skintight jeans with the peace sign patch on the ass that he started wearing later that summer.
But I still didn’t know what the hell had happened with Jake.
Me: i already said i was sorry sam. I. AM. SORRY.
Me: i really did like josh… he doesn’t like me back
Me: but i DID NOT KISS JAKE!!! He kissed ME and i have no clue why
Me: I DO NOT LIKE HIM, I HATE HIM
Look, I rarely lied to Sam. I had no reason to. But that text? That was a big fat lie.
How could I tell him that not only did I not hate Jake, I liked kissing Jake. I wanted to kiss Jake again. I wanted to learn how he did it, what his moves were, what made him-
No. Couldn’t tell baby brother all that. So I lied, and I avoided at all costs.
Back to the best of friends by August, Sam was waiting in my driveway the day my dad dropped me off. We spent the last week of the summer attached at the hip again, but I didn’t step foot in his house for a very long time.
The Friday after my eighteenth birthday, Sammy threw me a party. That I didn’t ask for.
I rarely hung out with him at his own house anymore, and if I did it was only when I knew for certain that Jake wasn’t home.
Josh and I had developed a sort of friendly relationship over the last couple years, stemming from a run-in at a movie theater. I was on a date (it went terribly), Josh was on a date (I asked him about it later and yes, that guy liked him back!), we fumbled awkwardly through hellos and introductions. He told me he missed seeing me around.
Those five words were enough to convince me that it would be okay to go to the house if he was there.
But not Jake. Never Jake.
So imagine my utter shock and horror when I knocked twice on the garage door, slipped underneath it, and found the room packed full of people.
“SURPRISE!!!”
Fuck me, right? No one likes surprise parties. I particularly hate them. Especially when I’m standing there like an idiot, wide-eyed and slack-jawed, taking in an unexpected mass of people and my stupid eyes lock on Jake stupid Kiszka.
And he smirked. Asshole.
“I’m not ready to leave you.”
Despite the garage full of our friends, I still ended up on Sam’s lap in the ugly chair, a little buzzed and kind of weepy. I tucked my face into his shoulder.
Don’t judge me. I’d already done a few hours worth of dancing, laughing and drinking. And avoiding the proverbial elephant in the room. It was exhausting.
He shrugged off my concerns. “When I’m famous, you can just drop out and come on tour with us.” He raised his beer up to me, so I tapped mine against it. Cheers to adulthood, I guess.
“You better get famous, you dick. Or even better, fail miserably and come live in Ann Arbor with me.”
In a month, I was graduating. It's not like I was leaving for college right away, but the reality of being eighteen was weighing on me. Sam’s reality was even heavier.
The fucking band was getting noticed. Being seen. What was I gonna do if they took off, if he left me and Michigan behind?
“Cheer up, T. This is supposed to be a party.” He squeezed me with the arm wrapped around my waist.
“Yeah yeah. I’m fine… I’m just gonna miss you.”
He was really great sometimes, my best friend. He reached down and sat his beer on the floor, then wrapped both arms around me. “I’ll miss you too, you know that.”
I let my eyes close for a minute and just enjoyed it, then sighed heavily against his neck. “Okay, sorry for the pity party. Let me up, I gotta pee.”
A few people were lingering in the kitchen when I made it into the house, they all raised their drinks and yelled happy birthday as I passed through. In the upstairs bathroom, I could hear when they filtered back outside, the house falling silent. I gave myself a little pep talk in the mirror before I left.
Get it together, woman. Have a good time, enjoy the fucking summer. Grow. Up.
Good talk, I know.
When I hit the bottom of the stairs, I heard the refrigerator open. As I turned into the kitchen, someone was still standing there, hidden by the door.
But I knew who it was.
The fridge door swung closed and there he was. And we were alone.
Not this shit again.
I wasn’t gonna do it, I wasn’t gonna do anything. I swear. But I kept moving to pass him and leave the room, and he stuck an arm out and stopped me in my tracks.
“Just let me go, Jake.” See? I had zero interest in this! I didn’t even look at him. Ya know, until he physically turned my body to face him. He had the nerve to smile.
“Happy birthday, T.” Thank God he didn’t whisper it, he was so good at whispering.
“Yeah, thanks. See ya.” I tried to leave again, but he put both hands on me and kept me facing him, toe to toe. Another showdown in the Kiszka kitchen.
“Don’t be like that.”
Oh, how I hated him in that moment. Everything came back, the confusion, the anger I felt the last time we’d been here. When he basically accused me of being a slut right before accusing me of wanting him. And being right about it.
I shook his hands off my arms and took a step back. “No. No, I’m not doing this again.” I turned to leave again, and he caught me by the wrist.
“What are you talk-“
“Stop! Don’t pretend you don’t know!”
“Tiny, I really-“
“Don’t call me that, and don’t act like you don’t know exactly why I have avoided you for two fucking years.”
Maybe it was my expression, or maybe it was the tone of my voice, I’ll never know but he dropped my wrist and actually managed to look guilty.
“Exactly. Bye, Jake.”
I made it to the doorway. If I had just been moving faster, I would’ve missed it and probably never experienced what happened next.
“I’m sorry.”
There’s no way I’d heard that right. It spun me around where I stood.
“What?”
“I said I’m sorry, about that night.”
I waited for the ground to open up and swallow us, or a meteor to blast through the ceiling. Surely the world was ending. Nothing happened.
“Really. What exactly are you sorry for, hm? Why exactly do you think I hate you?”
“You hate me?” I’m sure you can imagine, but yes, he had the audacity to look surprised by that information. It pissed me off.
“Get real, Jake.” I moved closer. “Get fucking real. Tell me what you’re apologizing for, go ahead. What part of that night are you sorry for?” By the time I was done, I was all up in his space and he looked uncomfortable.
Good.
“I’m sorry I accused you of sleeping with Josh.”
The big bad anger deflated, but only a little. I really hadn’t expected him to acknowledge that.
“You accused a sixteen year old virgin of fucking your brother on a dirty couch in your garage.” He literally cringed. I get it, it sounded bad. Because it was.
“That was really shitty of me-“
“You think?!”
“Let me finish,” His hands were on me again, wrapped around my upper arms. “Please.”
All I could do was nod. That please is what did it. He really seemed to feel bad, and I was believing it.
“I said that out of anger, T. I knew something happened out there, and Josh was all fucked up about it after. He wouldn’t talk to me, and he tells me everything.” My shoulders shook with the force of that word. “Do you understand what I’m saying?”
My mind was reeling, grasping for the meaning he intended. I shook my head.
“We’re twins, we don’t have secrets. I thought you either forced him to do something he didn’t want to, or you… were mean to him. Judged him.”
It dawned on me, clear as day.
“You knew.”
He tipped his chin and nodded, just once.
“I don’t- then what about the rest? I called you jealous, but it had nothing to do with that. But you were!”
He nodded again. My resolve crumbled.
“Why did you kiss me?” I whispered it, but I wasn’t trying to be sexy, or seductive.
“Because I was jealous. And I wanted to.”
Gulp.
“I’m really sorry that I hurt your feelings. I never wanted you to hate me.”
“What did you want?”
As you can imagine, that question sealed my fate.
“Just you.”
My back was against the refrigerator before he even finished breathing the words. This time, there was no moment of shock, I wasn’t confused, and my lips were not stiff.
His hands slid up my arms and into my hair, and he tilted my head. My mouth opened for him, and I gripped the front of his t-shirt for dear life.
Remember when I told you that by sixteen, I had kissed plenty? That was true. By eighteen, I’d kissed plenty more.
But this kiss was going to ruin me, and I knew it.
He let a hand slip from my hair and ran it down the length of my body, past my shoulder, over my ribs and the small of my waist, then he tucked it between me and the fridge and flattened it to my lower back. And pulled my hips into his.
Oh my god. He did want me, I could feel the evidence of that pressed against me.
“Jake.” I broke the kiss but his lips kept moving, he tilted my head further and ran kisses over my cheek, my jaw. “Jake.”
“Mm?” His hips ground into mine, he didn’t take his lips off of me.
“What- fuck, what are we doing?” My hands flattened against his chest and pushed, just a little, and he finally lifted his face.
His breath was coming quickly, I could feel it under my palms. “What do you wanna do, T?”
My brain raced toward an answer, past all the reasons we shouldn’t do what I wanted to do. There’s still a party going on in the garage, Sam is waiting there for me to come back from the bathroom, this is a bad idea, this is Jake, Sam may never forgive me for this.
“Can we- should we… go somewhere else?” Yeah, that’s what my brain landed on.
“You sure?” The memory of that same question, two years ago, rushed in and I knew that if he walked away from me this time, I would never get over it.
“I’m sure.”
He didn’t stop to reconsider or question my decision, just took my hand and led me back to the stairs. We rushed to the second floor, not leaving time to second guess or re-evaluate. He practically dragged me into his room, slammed the door behind us and locked it.
I didn’t bother looking around, it was dark anyway but I didn’t want to think too hard about what was happening. I just let him push me towards a bed and fell into it. He tore his shirt over his head and covered my body and mouth with his.
My legs opened and he settled between them, immediately grinding into me. This was happening, and it was happening fast. Our mouths were securely attached, so I wriggled beneath him, tugging the hem of my shirt up. As soon as he caught on to what I was doing he took over the task, sliding a hand up under my shirt and touching my bare skin for the first time.
“Fucking hell, T.” God, his voice was ragged, he was literally panting as he leaned back to use both hands, spreading his palms over my stomach, my ribcage, skimming over the sides of my breasts and up until my shirt was over my head and thrown to the floor.
For a minute we just stared at each other, our heavy breathing the only sound in the room.
He had changed so little and so much in the last two years. Physically, his hair had grown long, hanging to his shoulders instead of flipping across his forehead. His cockiness had transformed into confidence, and his actions up to this moment had been firm and self-assured. As we took each other in, I wondered what changes he saw in me.
Did he see a woman that night, pinned to his mattress by his eyes? At sixteen, I’d tried so hard to convince all of them that I was grown - could he see the ways that I had?
“You’re so fucking hot.” Okay, yeah it wasn’t poetry or anything, but his words pulsed through my bloodstream and settled between my thighs. Something like a whine slipped from the back of my throat, and suddenly we were moving in fast motion. He covered me again, but his kiss landed on my jaw, then below my ear, then the base of my throat. As it passed my collarbone I tangled my hands into his hair. He’d propped himself up on an elbow and the other hand slid up my ribs again then covered my breast.
I wish I could remember what my bra even looked like that night, but it hadn’t seemed like he cared.
He squeezed me softly, I moaned, he squeezed harder. Then his fingers tugged the top of the cup down, and for the first time, a part of me was truly naked in front of Jake Kiszka.
There was only a fleeting moment where he lifted his head and looked at my chest, bared to him, my nipple already hard and aching for his attention - then he dropped his mouth over it and sucked it in.
My back arched off the bed and he sucked me in deeper, his tongue swirling around my nipple before he softly put his teeth on it.
“Yes.” I hardly recognized my own voice, but he must have recognized the need or the urgency in it, because he applied just a tiny bit of pressure, and bit me. “Yes!”
His head popped up and his eyes met mine. “Fuck, you liked that?”
Was that weird? Was I not supposed to? I didn’t know what to say, so I nodded. It prompted him to pull the other side of my bra down and treat my other nipple to the same affection, so I guessed it was the right answer.
We were writhing together, friction between our hips and my hands holding his head to my chest until I couldn’t stand it anymore.
“Jake, kiss me, please…”
Somewhere along the line, he’d become a better listener. His lips slotted over mine and he kissed me deeply, I felt it everywhere. Until his hand started fumbling with the button of my jeans. It popped open and he slid the zipper down. Just as his fingers danced over the edge of my underwear, he paused.
Against my mouth he whispered, “Yes?”
I nodded frantically, breaking the kiss.
“Say it, T.”
“Yes.”
Fingers slid over cotton and tucked themselves between my legs, and my entire body shuddered. He dropped his gaze to where he was touching me as he pressed them into me and slid them up my center, catching on my clit. I jolted at the contact.
“Jesus Christ.”
Had I surprised him? Done something wrong? Why was he pulling his hand away- oh.
His hand slipped out of my jeans only long enough to slide under the waist of my panties, then it disappeared inside them.
Jake Kiszka had his fingers on my actual, bare-
You get it.
Again, they pressed into me and then through me, I could feel the way my body offered no resistance, slick and easy.
“You- you’re so…” His voice trailed off, but I needed to know. What was I? What was he thinking?
“What, Jake?” I sounded breathy, my voice coming out shaky and quiet. He looked up into my eyes.
“You’re so wet.” He sounded stunned, awe lacing his tone.
My throat closed, I swallowed hard. Embarrassment made my chest hot and I opened my mouth to say something. I’m sorry? But my mouth snapped shut because he moved his fingers through the wetness again and groaned, deep and low, before tracing up to my clit again and circling it.
He continued to watch my face, I think. I’m not sure, because my eyes slammed shut as my body bowed into the feeling, but it seemed like he was watching all of my reactions closely. I’m sure he saw my face drop when his fingers left my clit, only to see my jaw fall open when one moved lower and pushed inside me slowly.
Inside. Me. My eyes shot open and found him staring at me, nostrils flared.
“Relax, T. You’re so tight.”
Was that bad? I pulled a deep breath into my lungs, in through my nose and out through trembling lips. Tried my hardest to relax every muscle, but I was wound so tight I felt like I would implode.
I must have done something right, because his finger slid deeper and he murmured the worst thing I’d ever heard.
“That’s good, good girl.”
In hindsight, I know he wasn’t even trying to be sexy. But my body tightened around his finger again and he started to withdraw it. I panicked, gripped his wrist and dug my nails in just as he pushed all the way inside.
“God!” I couldn’t help it, the invasion was overwhelming me.
“Shhh, I’ve got you.” He was pumping it inside me now. “Tell me what you want.” Focus made his features look so serious, but his voice was calm and coaxing. I had no fucking clue what to say.
So I said the first thing that popped into my head.
“More.” He smiled, his mouth curling up at the corners. I felt him withdraw his finger all the way, gasped as he swirled two over my clit, then entered me again with both.
“Jesus, you’re so tight, you feel so good.”
So good, so good. That’s good. I let myself relax into his touch and within a few seconds my hips were moving in time with his fingers. My bottom lip was held tight between my teeth as I tried not to let any of the sounds building in my throat escape. He noticed.
His face came close, he pecked a kiss to my cheek then whispered into my ear. “Let me hear you, just be quiet.”
I really had no choice, because as soon as the words left his mouth, he pressed his thumb to my clit and plunged his fingers deep.
“Shit Jake, yes yes yes…”
Still next to my ear, he tucked his face into my neck and kissed me there before making his way back to my lips. His tongue swept out over my bottom lip and I opened to him, let him in. My eyes fluttered closed.
Then I felt it, a tightening, low in my belly. A tingling even lower. I don’t know what I did that signaled to him, but he knew.
“Are you gonna come for me?” He asked between kisses. I didn’t answer. I couldn’t.
I didn’t have to. All it took was a few more pumps of his fingers, a couple circles with his thumb, and I had my first orgasm.
Trust me when I tell you, it was a doozy.
My entire body tensed, my back arched and my mouth opened. Thank God I couldn’t hear myself over the buzz in my head because I’m sure the sound I made was mortifying, but it didn’t matter. As quickly as it had gripped me, it started to fade away. Things came back into focus and I felt Jake’s fingers softly moving in shallow strokes before they stopped and he pulled them from me.
“Wow.”
Who said that? Oh, it was Jake. I peeked up at him and his eyes were wide, almost black in the darkness. Then he pulled his hand from my pants and stood up so quickly, I was sure I’d done something wrong. I shot up to sit and had barely planted my feet on the floor when I heard his belt buckle clink. The shuffle of his shoes across the carpet as he toed them off his feet. The soft swish of denim falling down his legs and hitting the floor, more shuffling and he stepped out of his jeans.
Holy shit holy shit holy shit.
I didn’t even have time to truly panic, because he stepped back up to the bed and leaned down, kissing me briefly on the lips before using his hands to guide me backwards, laying across his bed again. He reached for the waist of my pants and, already undone, started to slide them off of my hips. I let him pull them down my legs until they got stuck at my shoes.
He chuckled. I giggled, nervously. He slipped my shoes off then tugged my jeans from my feet. I shifted and sat back up.
And there I was. Looking at Jake Kiszka in nothing but his skivvies and socks, and myself wearing much of the same. Except my tits were out, the cups of my bra pushing them up from underneath.
Jake must have sensed my nerves, because he asked me if I was still sure. I nodded and he demanded to hear it out loud.
“Yes.”
He turned to his nightstand, rummaged blindly through the drawer, and when he straightened he slipped his thumbs under the elastic waistband of his underwear.
Then they hit the floor.
And there I was. Looking at Jake Kiszka in nothing but his socks.
My cheeks exploded with heat and I was grateful that he couldn’t see me blushing in the dark, but I must have made a face, or a noise, because he was poised to tear open the condom wrapper and he stopped.
“Are you okay?”
Oh shit, what did I do?
“Um-“ Cleared my throat. “I- yeah. Yes. Sorry. I’ve just, never done this before.”
“Ha ha, T. For real, what’s wrong?”
Ha ha? I wasn’t laughing.
“Nothing. It’s fine, I just haven’t ever…” It trailed off, because there was something wrong with the way he was looking at me.
“Fuck. You gotta be kidding me.” Ouch.
His arms dropped to his sides, condom packet still between the first two fingers of his left hand. He flicked it away, it skimmed the surface of the nightstand and fell behind it.
No, no no no.
“What? What are you doing?” There it was, a little bit of that panic, finally allowed to bloom under my skin. He bent and stepped back into his boxer briefs and pulled them up. My own semi-nudity suddenly felt shameful, so I tugged the cups of my bra back up to cover my breasts. “Jake, I still want th-“
“No. I can’t, T. You’re still a virgin?”
Was I crazy, because I hadn’t seen anything wrong with that before this exact moment? He stepped back into his jeans and started pulling them up.
I reached out to stop him, a hand on his wrist. “Yeah, but who cares? It’s not that big of-“
“I care!” He ripped his arms away from me, pulled his pants up and fastened them. He continued as he started plucking my own clothes from the floor and shoving them into my shaking arms. “I can’t do that, I can’t be your first. I can’t fucking believe this.”
The first tear slipped and ran down my cheek, and I swiped it away, frustrated. “You’re overreacting, Jake. Why are you-“
He cut me off again. “How could you not tell me? What if I, if I had- God.”
“I didn’t know I was supposed to!” I jerked my shirt over my head and shoved my arms through the sleeves. “Why would you think I wasn’t?!” Pulled my jeans over my feet and up my legs.
“Because Sam told me!”
My fingers stopped buttoning my pants, my head jerked up. “What?!”
“Sam said he thought you were fucking that idiot you dated last year, when you weren’t coming around for like a month. He-“
Jake threw his arms up. “What was I supposed to think, T? With the way you were kissing me, and- and- you weren’t acting like a virgin!”
“Because you still think I’m some kind of slut, Jake? Is that it? Oh my God I’m so stupid.” I fastened my jeans and pulled my shoes on, then shoulder checked him on my way to the door.
It felt good, okay?
He was right behind me, forgetting his shoes and pulling his shirt on as he followed me down the stairs, but I didn’t stop. I bolted through the kitchen and outside, then into the garage.
A lot of people had left and I found Sam immediately, strewn across one end of the couch. He was probably crossfaded and ready to pass out, but he popped up as soon as he saw my face.
“Tiny, where have you been? What’s wrong-“ Jake stormed into the garage behind me, and even through hooded, bleary eyes, Sam put some pieces together. Or tried to.
I was trying desperately not to cry, and I’m sure I looked it. I could feel how kiss-swollen my lips were, and I guessed that Jake’s looked the same. Add in the fucked up bed hair, and then two tears that slipped free and ran down my face.
“What the fuck did you do..”
But Sam wasn’t talking to me. He was looking past me.
“What did you do?!”
The few of our friends that were left lingering in the garage were all staring at us.
“Party’s over! GET OUT!” I flinched. I’d never heard Sam yell, not in anger. Everyone jumped and hustled through the side door until we were alone, and Sam took one deep breath before speaking.
“T, come here, are you okay?”
I didn’t move, just nodded my head and wiped furiously at my cheeks. “Yes, I’m fine, I- I just wanted to tell you I was leaving.” He came to me and wrapped his arms around my shoulders.
“What did you do?” I knew he was speaking to Jake, still standing silently behind me.
“Sam, I don’t know what you’re thinking but-“
“Why is she fucking crying?”
I broke free of his hold and stopped him. “Sam, it’s okay. I’m fine, I swear. I’m going home.” I grabbed my bag from the floor beside the couch and flung it over my shoulder, lifted the garage door and slipped out.
I didn’t stop running until I reached my driveway.
author’s note: I’m really excited to have something to share with you guys. It’s written from a diff POV than I usually do, but my main character girly pop has a lot of personality 😘 Big big big thank you to bff @samkiszkasfacialhair for all the help, the ideas, and the motivation 🤍
pairing: female!OCxkiszkas (just read it, you’ll figure it out)
I don’t actually remember the day I met Sam Kiszka.
Not the date, or even the day of the week. I do know what year it was, because it was the year my mom moved us to this quaint (read: weird) little town. Charming, but weird. And boring.
Boring, until I met Sam.
Eleven-year-old Sam was a menace, but twelve-year-old me was bored. So obviously, we became the best of friends. He taught me how to light a firecracker, I had an endless supply of Barbies to blow up. He showed me how to slip out of my bedroom window without making a sound, I told him how to impress girls without grossing them out. In our early teenage years, he introduced me to drugs and I taught him how to unclasp a bra. Chill out, it was weed, and I wasn’t even wearing the bra.
My mom just loved that I’d made such a great friend.
The first time I was allowed to play at his house I met his sister, who was closer to my age, but it was too late. Sam and I were already attached at the hip, though mine sat an inch or two higher than his for a couple of years, until a growth spurt and puberty eventually left him with the height advantage.
That was when he stopped calling me by my name, and started calling me Tiny. Like I said, a menace.
“You’re the coolest girl I know, even if you’re vertically challenged.”
Please note: the first time he said this to me, he had finally just surpassed me in height by half an inch.
Then of course, there were the twins. You’d think the eldest siblings would not have become a big part of my life, but they were just always around, and actually liked hanging out with their baby brother. Close knit family and all that. It’s weird, right? At the wise and worldly age of twelve, the two fourteen-year-olds terrified me. Josh and Jake were both scary in their own way to a pubescent girl on the cusp of teenager-dom. Jake was pretty quiet, but his ego was not. He was hot, okay? In like, a Justin Bieber-y way but also kind of a jock-y way, but a jock with a guitar. Whatever, I’m only human.
Josh was… well, Josh was Josh. Unlike anyone else I’d ever met, and not necessarily in a good way. He was loud, like, all the time. He never seemed to stop talking and ended most of his sentences at an eardrum-piercing decibel level. Fortunately, or not, he didn’t get hot until I was old enough to obsess over it.
I’m sure I didn’t speak a coherent word to either of them the entire first year of my friendship with Sam.
I have a million memories of the time I spent with Sam and his family, but I have no recollection of the day I fell in love with Josh Kiszka.
But once I did, it was a deep, obsessive kind of love that only a teenager can achieve. One day he was my best friend’s eccentric older brother and the next…
Well, the next he was a rockstar.
I mentioned the whole jock with a guitar thing that Jake had going on, and that really hadn’t changed, but somewhere along the way Josh had transformed from a loud, annoying theater kid to a genuine, full blown vocalist. I mean, for a while he was both.
When they first started playing together, I only gave a shit because they’d roped Sam into it too and it took up way too much of his time. I’d watch them play, and they weren’t… bad? They weren’t good either. My time could have been better spent watching R rated movies (scandalous) or, I don’t know, doing my homework. But nope! We were in a band now.
They practiced, a lot. It felt like all they did was practice, for at least a couple years. And I just watched dutifully, every weekend of every month of every year. They did get better.
But here’s the thing. I was there for all of it. I was there the day Jake ran into the living room and snatched Sam up by the back of his shirt. Come on Sammy boy, we need you on bass. I was there the day their buddy Kyle sat down at the drum kit and completed the ensemble. (I was also there the day he got replaced.) And of course, I was there the day Josh pushed his voice past the instruments and the amps, and went from a weak imitation of a rock singer to something else all together. Something totally and completely him.
That’s not the day I fell in love with him (I would’ve remembered), but it was the first time he had ever… impressed me. And not that I cared, but Jake was impressed too. I saw it on his face.
It was cute. In like, a sweet, brotherly way.
Okay, anyway! The combination of Jake’s skill and Josh’s raw talent got them noticed. (Sammy’s talent would develop over time, I didn’t forget about him. Sam, you’re the most talented one in the band.) And then they were playing actual gigs. I wasn’t allowed to go to most of those early ones, because for some reason these dive bars were permitting these pint sized, teenage Zeppelin wannabes to perform at them. Old people like our parents loved that shit. The locals went crazy for it.
They played Fischer Hall a couple times, right there in town, but around their third or fourth gig there, Josh had unbuttoned the flowy, floral, women’s blouse he was wearing and took to the stage with it hanging open, beaded necklaces draped down his bare chest and curly hair wild.
Why was he sort of… ripped? How had I never noticed? Were his pants always so tight? And low cut? I was sweating. I didn’t even know he was literally cosplaying Robert Plant.
Did I fall in love with him that night? Of course not, I already told you I don’t remember the day that happened.
The Saturday after my sixteenth birthday, I left my house around 8:30 to head to Sam’s. To my mom, this was an average Saturday night - I spent nearly all of them at Sam’s house, where his parents were always home. Ya know, or so mine thought. Whether the Kiszkas were actually home or not, we hung out in the garage.
That’s not as weird as it sounds, it was a really cool garage. With furniture and everything. And their instruments, a lot of them. I don’t know how every one of these guys knew how to play every instrument packed into that room, but they did. And by the time I was sixteen, they were really almost good at it.
(Jake was good. Very good… I told you he was hot.)
This particular Saturday though, this was going to be the Saturday that changed my life. And I wanted to dress the part.
In hindsight, I wore something I’d probably worn a hundred times. Then why had it taken me so long to get ready? I changed my jeans twice, my shirt at least ten times, added a sweater, threw it back on my bed, added a flannel, tossed that to the floor. Picked it back up and shoved my arms in, made sure it hung off my shoulder just so. Shoulders are sexy, right? Do guys like shoulders? Oh shit, what do guys even like?
Anyway, I left the house looking exactly as I always did.
I rode my bike slowly that night, already hyper aware of the sweat under my arms.
So I slowed my pedaling even further. When the house came into view, I hopped off the bike and walked it up the drive before tossing it to the grass outside the garage.
Okay, knock twice and just go in.
That’s what everyone always did, what I always did. Just knock twice then lift the door. Everyone was always welcome, come on in!
So go in, idiot.
Look, I did it eventually. Just like always, knock knock, lift the door enough to slip underneath, let it close behind me. Except when it rolled back to the ground, I lost my nerve and stood frozen there for a few seconds too long.
Sam called me out, because he’s a menace.
“The hell are you doing, Tiny? We started without you.”
I moved farther into the space, eyes bouncing between my options through the soft haze of pungent smoke that already hung over the room. There was my usual spot - on the floor, next to the spot where Sam sat cross-legged, his long frame folded and bent, his sharp elbows resting on his knees as he waited for the joint to make its way back to him.
Not tonight, I’m on a mission.
Jake sat to his left, in a well-worn, floral print wingback chair. It was comfortable enough for one person, decades of weight softening the strength of the cushion’s springs before it ever came to live in this particular garage. Jake’s body was slung over it, legs thrown haphazardly over an arm while his own were wrapped around an acoustic guitar. Typical. He tipped his chin at me from under the brim of a bucket hat, then nodded towards the floor beside him. Holy shit, does he want me to sit by him?! I think my fingers lifted in a barely-there wave but I’m not really sure they were functioning correctly.
Okay focus, he did not. Does not. Not in this lifetime.
Still without his next hit, Sam glanced up at me over his shoulder and patted the threadbare throw rug next to him. “Sit down weirdo, you’re making me paranoid.”
Nerves that I’d never, never, felt before in this room fluttered through my stomach, I let my gaze meet Sam’s before continuing the search for a place to plant myself.
There was really only one option left - the couch - and both ends were already occupied. Our friend Danny (Kyle’s replacement, sorry Kyle) was in the process of melting into the corner closest to Jake, his eyes glassy and already tinged pink when he looked up at me. Only his eyebrows lifted in greeting before he mirrored Sam’s offer to sit next to him, tapping the cushion beside him.
This is fine, totally normal! Danny was Sam’s other half. Well, his other male half. I guess we were in thirds. A trio.
I accepted the offering, stepping around the coffee table, scarred with years worth of “art” - drawings and carvings, a few discreet dirty words etched into the surface in between - to drop to the middle of the couch. One of Sam’s brows tipped up when I met his eyes again, his expression asking, “Dude, what gives?”
“Hey, you’re here!” He noticed me, finally. Silvery smoke crept from between his lips as he grinned, and I watched transfixed when they pursed together and he blew a cloud toward the ceiling. My stare was broken when he leaned across the table and passed the joint to an impatient Sam, but to the delight of the butterflies going nuts in the pit of my stomach, he leaned back into the cushions and threw an arm over the back of the couch behind me. EEEEP!
“Hey-“ It was a humiliating and unsexy croak, and I quickly cleared my throat and tried again. “Hey, Josh. Hi.”
His long hair was pulled back, his entire face available for my viewing pleasure. Things were going perfectly.
I joined the rotation, the weed easing the flutters caused by sitting so close to Josh, but amplifying the feeling that the other three were watching and wondering why I was acting so strange.
They were not. They were high.
Aside from the stray curious eyebrow from my BFF across the table, they actually acted like nothing was abnormal about my seating choice, even when I started to scooch imperceptibly to my left every time I adjusted the way I was sitting.
Pulled my legs up under me? Scooch.
Dropped them down so my sneakers met the cement? Scooch.
Crossed my left ankle over my right knee? Scooch.
It was totally subtle.
“I’m gonna grab a pop, you guys want anything?” Sam startled me out of a pleasant reverie as he jumped up from the floor, but my freaking knee was touching Josh’s knee! No I don’t want anything, I have everything I need right here!
It turned out Sam was a huge knee blocker. He gripped me by an elbow and peeled me from the couch as the others murmured at our retreating backs about needing Doritos. He pushed me out the side door and towards the house and had me in the kitchen before I could even tell him he was ruining everything!
Even through bleary, hooded eyes, his death glare was brutal.
“Saaammmmm, what are you doing?!” “What the hell do you think you’re doing, T?”
More glaring. He broke the glare-off first, jerking his head to the side to flick his hair out of his eyes and turning to open the refrigerator, but once his face was inside it, he called me out again.
“Why are you being so weird with Josh?”
I love him, I need him!
“Whaaa.. I don’t know what you mean. You’re just super high.” Yeah, I really thought that would work. Sue me!
Straightening to his full height (seriously, like two inches taller than me… maybe three), he spun to face me again. He actually looked down his nose at me.
“Do you like, like him? What the fuck, Tiny?” He whispered that last part, as if his parents were lurking around the corner waiting to bust him for cussing.
“Look, you wouldn’t understand Sam. I’m much older than y-“
“You’re not even an entire year older than me.”
“Eleven months is basically an entire ye-“
“That’s not the point!” That part was like whisper yelling. I swear it looked like he was yelling, but it sounded like he was whispering.
“Okay!” Yeah, I whisper yelled back. “Sammy, I like him… I’m sorry! I don’t even know when it happened but I woke up one day and I realized that he’s perfect! He’s funny and nice and he’s so… so… cute! Okay? He’s so cute I wanna die and I love him!”
Sam’s eyes were wide, as wide as they could be under the circumstances, and he stared at me like I’d grown another head. With a horn coming out of it.
“You love him. You realize how dumb you sound right now?”
Dumb? No no, this was serious. I pleaded with my best friend for forgiveness. And his help. “Sam… please. Don’t be mad at me, I- I don’t know, I can’t help it! That’s just how I feel, and I want him to like me back!” That’s when it hit me, I needed a wingman for this plan.
“Can you help me get him to like me back?” I gave him my best puppy dog eyes, bottom lip stuck out and everything. As if that had ever worked in the four years we’d known each other so far.
“Fuck no.” His eyes moved side to side, looking for sneaky parents again I guessed. “Definitely not. Why do you have to like my brother, dude? That’s sick, it’s like incest or something!” He stomped his feet a little, and I couldn't help but think it made him look like a child. He was a child! This was serious, grown-up shit and I didn’t have time to play games.
“Ugh, if you’re not gonna help me then at least get out of my way.” I pushed past him and headed back out of the house and into the garage. Not much had changed when I got there, but Danny must have left while Sam and I were gone. The entire couch was empty aside from Josh, still sitting cross-legged in one corner. Damn it!
I flopped into the spot that Danny had vacated, just as Sam hustled back in through the side door, arms full of sodas and bags of chips. My cheeks were warm when I looked up at him, and then they burst into flames.
Fumbling for a grip on reality, I couldn’t tear my eyes away from Sam’s. He lifted his brows and tilted his head in Josh’s direction. I suddenly remembered why I wasted all my days with this kid - he’s my ride or die. And now I owed him, big.
As soon as I stood to shift to the center of the couch, Sam’s elbow snuck out and made contact with my shoulder. My feet tangled with each other and, balance lost, I tumbled. Right into the arms of my beloved.
Okay okay, that’s a reach. But I did land on him. Sam had nudged me just hard enough to send me toward the opposite end of the couch and I landed ass-first on Josh’s leg, still folded and crossed under the other.
Through the mortification, I heard Sam’s distinct snickering as he placed himself gently on the other cushion. Then, through the popping of soda tabs and crinkling of chip bags, I heard the sweetest, most beautiful sound ever.
“If you wanted to sit next to me so bad, you could’ve just done it, T.”
I quite literally had to extract myself from his lap, but Josh just giggled as I clumsily moved off of him. To my extreme delight and disbelief, I didn’t make it too far. He slung an arm over my shoulders and kept me at his side. We are sharing a cushion. ALERT ALERT - OUR THIGHS ARE TOUCHING.
His hand wrapped around the ball of my shoulder and squeezed. Not once, but twice. I felt like I was gonna puke, but I risked turning my head and meeting his eyes. And he. Fucking. Smiled.
“You good, Tiny?” I should’ve laughed. We were the same exact height, I could be calling him tiny. But this wasn’t funny, because he was still smiling at me and he’d lowered his voice to speak directly to me and I felt it all the way to my toes. Somehow I managed to smile back.
“I’m good.” I was soooooo good. Even when Sam shoved a bag of Doritos at me, I was good. Because Josh reached into it and pulled a few out for himself. He reached into my lap! For chips!
Risking a sideways glance at Sam, I found him eyeballing Josh’s hand that was still resting lightly over my shoulder. I gave him my best “holy shit holy shit holy shit” expression, to which he rolled his eyes and shrugged. Before turning my attention back to the love of my life, my gaze drifted past Sam and landed on Jake. Oh, he was still here? Hadn’t noticed.
Except I was noticing. And he didn’t look pleased. He locked in and held eye contact, absolutely scowling. He was pissed. At me?! I must not have hidden my surprise well, because after a few more tense seconds of the longest eye contact we’d ever held, he blinked away and flung the guitar he’d been cradling all night over the arm of the chair.
Look, he didn’t throw it or anything. The stand was right there and the guitar landed safely, if not a little roughly, in its place. But then he tossed the open bag of Lay’s to the table, swung his legs around and stood. He caught my eye again, his hair doing that flippy thing over his eyebrows as he shook his head.
“Whatever. Night, guys.”
Just like that, he was gone. Two down, one to go. GTFO Sam!!
The next hour or so passed in a blur. Sam kept hitting the joint long after Josh and I had turned it down, and by the time he’d deposited the roach in the ashtray he could barely keep his eyes open. I watched his head fall back into the cushion and pounced on my opportunity.
Leaning away from Josh’s loving embrace (shut up, I was in heaven okay?), I slapped Sam’s chest with the back of my hand.
“Sammy… Sam!” He snorted as his head whipped up, swiped a hand over his mouth and looked at me. I was still leaning toward him, my back to Josh, and I spoke to him telepathically. Or with my eyebrows.
Get out of here right now or so help me God.
He answered verbally, like he couldn't even read my mind. “Huh?”
I withheld growling at him like an animal. “Why don’t you go to bed, man? You’re toast.” Go. NOW.
His eyes tried to focus on me, they really did, before he shook his head and tried again. “Shit. Yeah, okay. Are you… do you wanna stay on the couch tonight?”
Yes. This couch. Allll night long.
“Yeah yeah, I will, but I’m not tired yet. I’m just gonna, um, chill here for a little bit longer?” At that, I turned my head and risked a glance at Josh. Thank God I did, because he was already looking at me, and he grinned. EEEEEEEP!
“I’m not tired yet either, we can listen to some music.” I doubted I could hear music at that point, not over the blood rushing in my ears. But then, oh then, he looked up at Sam and said, “I’ll make sure she makes it to bed, I mean, the couch. Downstairs, I’ll make sure she makes it downstairs.”
“Fine, whatever.” See? He’s my ride or die. “See you in the morning, T.” And then he was gone.
We were alone.
HELLO? WE. WERE. ALONE.
Sure, I’d been alone with Josh before. I’d been hanging around his house nearly every day for four years, we’d definitely been left in a room together at some point. But not while his arm was draped loosely over my shoulders, not while our legs were touching, not while my heart was about to beat out of my chest.
But now that we were alone, I had no effing clue what to do. Then Josh stood up. My heart dropped into my stomach, but he walked over to the stacked milk crates that housed a small part of their family’s record collection and crouched to skim through them. He found something he liked and set it on the turntable, the needle bringing the crackling beginnings of a song to life.
When he turned back to face me, I thought for sure he’d sit in that ugly wingback chair. Or at the other end of the couch. Instead, he circled the coffee table and sat on the opposite side of me than he had been all night. And now his other thigh was touching mine!
I’m pretty sure my throat closed up because I had to clear it rather unattractively to speak. “What, uhh, ha, um, who is this?”
Sexy, right?
Didn’t matter, his smile took shape right in front of my eyes and all I could see was the little barely-there gap between his front teeth. I wanted to know what it felt like on my tongue. Would I be able to tell? If I kissed him right now, would I be able to feel that little discrepancy in the perfection of his teeth? I lifted my eyes to meet his and realized he’d spoken, and I’d missed it.
“Sorry, uhh… what?”
His head tilted and his eyes searched my face for… something. “Wilson Pickett. Sammy hasn’t played this for you?”
Sammy? Who is Sammy? Ohhh right, best friend.
“Um, no, I don’t think so. But maybe? There’s always music on, he’s probably played this.”
He just nodded, at first in response to my rambling and then in time with the song. When it ended, he just… looked at me, for what felt like forever but was probably only a few seconds. I was once again hyper aware of my underarms. Sweating. So I slipped the flannel off of my shoulders, keeping my forearms in the sleeves but giving me some airflow to the pits. Josh’s eyes dropped from mine and landed on the now exposed skin. Yes! Guys like shoulders!
The realization slapped me in the face, so I grabbed it and ran. I slid my arms out of the sleeves and tossed the flannel past Josh and onto the chair, thanking God that I’d worn a tank top. He gulped. Like a full-blown gulp.
Omg I’m making him nervous!!
Confidence boosted, I shifted even closer to him, until our bodies were tucked tight against each other. I’d never been this close to him, aside from that one time we’d been crammed in the back seat of his mom’s car with Sam and Jake, their sister sitting pretty in the front seat. But then I had been a scrawny kid, only thirteen (and a half) and he had been a really weird fifteen year old, not yet having grown into his features. I hadn’t wanted any part of his stinky, sweaty, farty body near me and I’d squeezed myself so close to Sam I was practically in his lap.
But on this night? This Saturday after my sixteenth birthday, I was no longer a kid. And he was no longer weird. He was beautiful, and my face was really close to his face. I could feel it when he whispered, his breath actually touched my lips.
“Wha- what are you doing, T?”
He was looking at my lips, waiting for my answer. I licked them because I was freaking parched, but he watched. And I watched him gulp, again! My tongue slipped out and wet my bottom lip a second time.
“Josh?” Whispering is sexy, it’s seductive. I was sure of it. He did it back, just my name - my actual name - lilting at the end in question.
“Do you.. wanna… kiss me?” I leaned over him, placed my left hand on his chest and felt his collar bone under my fingertips through his t-shirt. Holy shit holy shit holy shit.
I saw the panic widen his eyes, then they darted around me, looking at anything but me. It was really so cute how nervous he was. He was eighteen, for Christ sake! And I was making him nervous!
“Kiss me, Josh.” His eyes snapped back to mine, slipped down to my mouth again and then back.
And then. He. Freaking. KISSED. ME.
In a split second that felt like hours, I watched his eyes close and perfect lips pucker. My eyes stayed open at first, I didn’t want to miss this.
Leaning further into him, I settled my lips against his and slid the hand on his chest up the side of his neck (his pulse was out of control, by the way), and then cradled his jaw. My fingertips were in his hair right behind his ear. I pulled his face closer and ramped up the pressure of our lips pushed together.
He put his hands on me. I swear to God, he really did! One reached for my hip and the other came up to rest against my cheek. My eyes fluttered closed and my body took over. Not a coherent thought left in my pretty little head. Especially when our mouths separated, and then he pushed them back together.
With a mind of its own, my other hand came up and gripped his shoulder. Then my leg swung over his lap and I. Was. Straddling. Him.
It wasn’t my fault. My brain had gone haywire, my body moving on instinct. I’d quite literally never done this before. I’d kissed plenty, I even kissed Sam once (barf), but this felt different. This felt mature. Probably a little more mature than I was ready for but like I said, it was not my fault.
A lot of blame fell on Josh, a whole mountain of it, when the hand on my cheek dropped to my other hip and gripped hard, pulled me flush against him. And his lips coerced my mouth open. And the tip of his tongue swept out and touched mine.
Oh, I was in way over my head. But this was Josh, the boy I loved, and he was loving me back!
A sound I’d never made before crept up my throat. Instant embarrassment heated my already toasty cheeks and climbed up my neck, but then. Ohh then. The same freaking sound came from somewhere below me. Josh groaned. Because of me.
My animal brain completely took over. My tongue was already sliding against his, and my hips decided to follow suit. With zero finesse, they rocked into his. Just once.
He broke the kiss and dropped his head back to the cushion.
No no noooooo, you like this! You love it!
I could feel the proof that he loved it. I was sitting on it. I could see it, his chest heaving.
So I leaned forward and pressed a kiss against his throat.
“Stop, T.” His hands fell limp and landed on my thighs. My brain scrambled to catch up. Stop? Go! His fingers spread across the denim on my legs. Go go go!
But then he pushed. I leaned back to see his face, find an explanation, but his eyes were still closed as he pushed me off of his lap. Helped me swing my leg back over. Kept his hands on my thighs until they were planted back on the couch and closed. Firmly. Then they left me, and I felt their absence like a knife to the heart.
“I… wow, okay.” It’s the best I could manage to formulate, but my brain was running in overdrive.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have let that happen.” He rubbed his palms, the ones that were just holding me, over his knees then leaned forward and dropped his forehead into them.
Okay, maybe he just thinks we were moving too fast!
“Josh, it’s okay. I want this! We can just kiss, I’ll stay over here and you stay there and-“
It was so quiet, but it stopped my words on my tongue and slammed my lips shut.
“I can’t.”
Okay. Okay. Okay.
It’s because Sam’s my best friend.
It’s because I’m too young.
He thinks I’m still a kid.
Like his kid sister.
Fuck!
Anger rolled through me. “Why? Is it Sam?”
He scrubbed his hands over his face and turned to me. Looked at me, finally.
“No, I-“
“Am I too young for you? You’re not that much older, Josh and we’ve known eachother forever, it’s not that big of a de-“
“It’s not that, Tiny.” His eyes closed again.
“Don’t call me that!” He’d offended me, I was o-ffen-ded. “I’m not a little fucking kid!” Okay, I was pissed! I was a grown ass woman!
(I wasn’t.)
Both of his hands reached forward and he pulled mine towards him. Held them there. Opened his eyes. Was he gonna cry? Why are his eyes wet?! Shit, am I crying?
“It’s not you, T. It’s me.” Oh please. “I- well, I um, I like someone else.”
Back to angry! “What?! Then why the hell were you kissing me?!” What a scoundrel, what a snake, what an asshole!
“It’s not like that-“
“What the fuck is it like?!” I didn’t normally curse much at that age, but when I tell you I was mad? Hurt? Embarrassed? I couldn’t stop it from happening.
Shit, his eyes were definitely wet.
“It’s a guy.”
He whispered it, and it wasn’t sexy, it wasn’t seductive. It was sad. Scared. Defeated. I snatched my hands out of his.
There was a long silence. Uncomfortable. He stared at his empty hands and we processed.
“What did you say?” His posture shrank, like he was trying to disappear. “Josh, it’s okay. Talk to me.” It was my turn to take his hands. I held them in mine and squeezed once.
“I’m so sorry, I- I just don’t like you. Like that.” His eyes found their way back to my face, “I really like him.” They went wide and I’m pretty sure mine did too. He seemed shocked that he’d said it out loud, right before panic spread across his features again.
“Please don’t say anything, T. I haven’t- no one knows that. No one. Please.”
“No, I would never Josh, I swear. I just… why were you, ya know, kissing me?” Touching me, pulling me in. He pulled his hands away from me this time.
“I just wanted to feel normal. I wanted them to think I was normal.”
I couldn’t help it. I threw my arms around him and held on tight.
“You are.” Normal and beautiful and perfect. And not mine. A heavy sigh slipped from between my lips. “There’s nothing wrong with you.”
He stayed silent, so I did too. I kept my arms around him for a few minutes before finally letting them slip free, rubbing a palm between his shoulder blades.
“I guess I should go… Are you okay?” Look, I was not okay, but it didn’t seem like that was important anymore.
“Aren’t you gonna stay downstairs tonight?”
Definitely not. “No, I think I should go home…” Probably won’t show my face over here for a goooood long time.
“Let me walk with you.”
I did. He walked on the other side of my bike while I walked it by the handlebars. When we reached my driveway, I left the bike propped against the side of the garage and turned to him. And just like in my dreams, he moved close and pecked a kiss into my cheek. Then he pulled me into his arms.
“I’m really sorry… I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, ya know?” His voice was soft and low, his breath tickling my ear. It should’ve been a literal dream come true.
A half step back and I rubbed my hands up and down his arms. “It’s really fine. I’m sorry for…” Humiliating us both? “Everything.”
“You don’t have to apologize. I mean it,” he emphasized when I shook my head. “Just… please don’t say anything. Even to Sam. Especially to Sam. I’m gonna tell them all when I’m ready, I think.”
word count: total 20.4k (you are so welcome) split into 3 parts
warnings: each part will come with its own warnings, eventual smut
Not just another night in the Kiszkas’ garage - 2014
Risking a sideways glance at Sam, I found him eyeballing Josh’s hand that was still resting lightly over my shoulder. I gave him my best “holy shit holy shit holy shit” expression, to which he rolled his eyes and shrugged. Before turning my attention back to the love of my life, my gaze drifted past Sam and landed on Jake. Oh, he was still here? Hadn’t noticed.
Except I was noticing. And he didn’t look pleased. He locked in and held eye contact, absolutely scowling. He was pissed. At me?! I must not have hidden my surprise well, because after a few more tense seconds of the longest eye contact we’d ever held, he blinked away and flung the guitar he’d been cradling all night over the arm of the chair.
Look, he didn’t throw it or anything. The stand was right there and the guitar landed safely, if not a little roughly, in its place. But then he tossed the open bag of Lay’s to the table, swung his legs around and stood. He caught my eye again, his hair doing that flippy thing over his eyebrows as he shook his head.
“Whatever. Night, guys.”
Just like that, he was gone. Two down, one to go. GTFO Sam!!
word count: total 20.4k (you are so welcome) split into 3 parts
warnings: each part will come with its own warnings, eventual smut
Not just another night in the Kiszkas’ garage - 2014
Risking a sideways glance at Sam, I found him eyeballing Josh’s hand that was still resting lightly over my shoulder. I gave him my best “holy shit holy shit holy shit” expression, to which he rolled his eyes and shrugged. Before turning my attention back to the love of my life, my gaze drifted past Sam and landed on Jake. Oh, he was still here? Hadn’t noticed.
Except I was noticing. And he didn’t look pleased. He locked in and held eye contact, absolutely scowling. He was pissed. At me?! I must not have hidden my surprise well, because after a few more tense seconds of the longest eye contact we’d ever held, he blinked away and flung the guitar he’d been cradling all night over the arm of the chair.
Look, he didn’t throw it or anything. The stand was right there and the guitar landed safely, if not a little roughly, in its place. But then he tossed the open bag of Lay’s to the table, swung his legs around and stood. He caught my eye again, his hair doing that flippy thing over his eyebrows as he shook his head.
“Whatever. Night, guys.”
Just like that, he was gone. Two down, one to go. GTFO Sam!!
Summary: You’ve lived a sheltered and privileged life, only learning what it truly means to live and love after meeting Jake, a young man of unusual western sorts who was hired to work on your father’s farm.
Warnings: Descriptions of Panic/Anxiety attack, mention of train crash, mild schizophrenic episode, sexual content, unprotected sex, loss of virginity (female), use of the word whore, domestic abuse by father.
Word Count: 5.3k
Chapter 5 (The final chapter)
You dreaded the end of the summer that year. The coming of September meant one thing for you- your wedding.
To your dismay, invitations had been mailed out, your dress had been fitted, and all arrangements had been made. Everything was planned by your mother and father and the entirety of the situation was utterly and completely out of your control.
The wedding was next Sunday. It was approaching quicker than ever and there was nothing you could do to stop it. For weeks you’d been avoiding it, pretending it wasn’t happening. But it was. And it was coming soon.
In just a week's time, you’d be uprooted and moved into a new house with your “husband” who you absolutely loathed.
Though you weren't entirely sure what the future would hold for you, the faint thought of Jake not being in your future was becoming more and more of a dismal reality.
You sat at your vanity, staring blankly at the reflection of yourself in the mirror as Katherine did your hair to get you ready for a pre wedding ceremony party. Behind you, your mother cinched up your corset with a white satin ribbon, loop by loop until you could barely breathe.
Once you were ready, Katherine and your mother left you in your room to wait for your grand entrance in just a few minutes.
However as the time grew closer, you felt things quickly slipping out of your control more than they already were.
Suddenly, a wave of heat rushed over you. You felt a painful burning in your chest you’d never experienced before. Your entire face felt hot and you began sweating despite every window being open and the nighttime breeze cooling down the entire room.
Speaking of the room, it began spinning around you, causing you to grip your bedpost for balance, which was truly no use at all. The floor seemed to teeter back and forth and your vision zoomed in and out.
And corset or no corset, it felt as if someone had their hand around your throat, constricting your airways, and making you unable to breathe properly.
This was your future. This was the rest of your life. This was that train that was going full speed into a mountain with no tunnel to go through. You were on the train and ready for the crash.
Through tear filled eyes, you spotted your bedroom window.
You held your chest as you walked over to it, pushed it open as far as it could go, and looked down. Jake was there. He was below you, in the river, telling you to jump. He was going to catch you.
“Come on, Darlin,’” he called, “I gotcha.”
Without hesitation, you jumped.
A sudden shock of reality hit you as your body crashed into a bush and rolled off onto the ground below with a thud, landing on your hands and knees.
There was no river and certainly no Jake.
Surprisingly unhurt, you stood up and shook yourself, mentally and physically. Once the shock wore off, you looked down at your baby blue and white dress to see it littered with twigs, leaves, and green grass stains on the skirt of it where you had fallen to your knees.
Certainly you couldn’t go to your party like this. Besides, you were supposed to be upstairs, awaiting your entrance. How would you even begin to explain yourself?
You looked back up towards your window and heard the faint noise of Katherine calling your name, wondering where you were.
You had no other choice. The damage had already been done. At the sound of her voice, you ran.
It was as if your legs were moving involuntarily underneath you. Your hair whipped through the wind, becoming undone and tangled as you continued running.
Tears poured out of your eyes and down your cheeks as you ran through the fields, not entirely sure where you were running to. The only thing guiding you was the light from the full moon above.
You looked back to see the lights of your house getting smaller and smaller in the distance when all of a sudden…
BAM.
It was as if you had just crashed into a massive brick wall.
“Pardon m-” you began to say in a panic until you realized exactly what, or who you crashed into.
The dark silhouette of a tall, skinny man with a hat on and two braids hanging out caught your eye.
“Sammy,” you breathed out, “Oh, thank God.”
You knew Sammy was a safe person, despite not really knowing him at all. You threw yourself into him and held onto him tight like he was surely saving your life.
He pulled you away from the embrace you had on him, grabbed your upper arms, and held you in place as he looked down at your dirty dress and eyed your disheveled hair. He was taller than Jake and you could just barely see his face, just the general outline of him in the darkness.
“What the hell’re you doin’ out here this time a’ night? Fixin’ to get yourself killed?” he asked, almost yelling.
Panting and desperately trying to catch your breath, you retorted, “I could ask you the same question.”
“I take Rose out at night to hunt,” he explained, “You however, are a lady. Ain’t right for you to be out here at night, unaccompanied. I’m gonna take you home,”
“No, Sammy, please, I can't go back there, don’t make me go back there,” you begged him as you pulled on his arm.
“No,” he said softly, shaking his head, “I’m not taking you back there,” he said softly, jutting his chin toward the direction of your house in the distance, “I’m taking you home.”
A huge sigh of relief escaped your lungs and tears of relief filled your eyes as you realized what he meant. He was right. Where you just ran away from wasn’t your home. It was your house, but not your home. Your home was in the woods in a little cabin with two beds, a table, a couple chairs, and a fireplace.
He whistled for Rose, called out “Come ‘ere girl,” and she came running over to him.
“Come on,” he whispered as he led you out of the fields and into the woods towards where you were desperate to be the very most.
You could see the warm glow of the cabin windows from far away in the woods.
As you approached it, Rose ran ahead of you both and sat herself down on her spot on the porch. Sammy reached into his pocket, handed her a treat, and opened the door, poking his head in.
“Hey,” he said softly as he opened the door fully and allowed you to walk in front of him, “You uh, you got yourself a visitor.”
You entered the cabin and instantly, Jake looked up from what he was doing at the table, taken aback by you in the doorway.
At the sight of you, he stood up and walked over to you, causing your tears to start again.
“Darlin,'” he said in a whisper, grabbing your face, “What happened to you?”
Sammy gave Jake an awkward smile, grabbed an apple off the table and slung a knapsack over his shoulder before leaving the cabin again. He closed the door behind him and the sound of his feet as well as 4 paws trudging on the dirt ground faded as the two of them got farther away, leaving you and Jake alone in the cabin.
Jake sat you down on his bed and you explained what happened as he wiped the tears off your face. He calmed you down and he assured you that everything was going to be alright. And even though, deep down, you knew he was wrong and everything most certainly was not alright; you were with him. And with him, everything was alright.
“I’ll be married in a week’s time,” you whispered as he rubbed his thumb over the top of your hands.
Jake pulled in his bottom lip between his teeth and sighed.
Though neither of you wanted to speak it aloud, both of you knew this may be the last time you would ever get to see each other. But Jake was always braver than you.
“If this is the last-”
“Jake, don’t say that,” you interrupted, begging him not to speak what was on both of your minds.
He stopped looking down at your hands and looked up at you.
“Let me finish, please,” he whispered.
You nodded and he continued, lifting your chin with his finger to meet your gaze, “If this is the last night I can see you, if you’ll let me, I’d like to make it count. If that’s alright with you,”
He was looking deeper into your eyes than he ever had before.
You swallowed hard, knowing exactly what he meant and wanting to give him every last bit of you.
“I’d like that, Jake,” you whispered as one of his hands came up to brush the hair from your face and place it behind your ear, "I'd like that very much."
In the most delicate of ways, he kissed you. It was soft and gentle, possibly the most gentle he’d ever been. However, he quickly picked up the pace and the passion, going for more of you. And you reciprocated everything back to him.
Jake helped you undress, unclasping the neck of your dress and pulling it off so you could get your arms out of it and pull it down.
Instantly, his lips found your chest and you held onto the back of his head as he sprinkled your skin with wet kisses, freely moving his lips and up down from your chest, to your neck, and back down to your chest again, all while undressing himself simultaneously. His lips dancing along your chest tickled you, and small giggles left your lips. While he was kissing you, you could feel his lips turning upwards into a smile.
Your hand feathered over his crotch, feeling his hardness inside his pants as he let out a breathy moan upon your touch, which you gave him more of.
Over the hardness of your corset, you felt his hand snake up your back and toy around with the ribbon that was caging you in.
With one hand, he undid the bow and tugged on the satin ribbon, pulling it through the loops of the corset until it was completely undone and you were free.
You giggled as he hung the ribbon over the wooden headboard of his bed with a smirk.
You pulled the corset off, kicked your dress down off your legs, and threw them both to his floor, not caring where they landed, leaving both of you in your underwear.
In a swift movement, Jake wrapped his entire arm around your waist and scooped you up, moving you from the middle of his bed to the head of it, laid you down, and hovered himself over you.
With one hand holding himself up, Jake snuck his other hand under the undergarments you were wearing and took your breast in his hand, giving it a good squeeze before moving to the other one as to not neglect it.
He pushed your camisole up, bunching it up under your chin, as he attached his lips to your skin.
“Mmm,” you hummed simultaneously as he slid his tongue along your skin, swirling it around your nipple while you tugged on the roots of his hair.
Jake used his mouth like an artist. His tongue was like a paintbrush, wet and warm; and you were his canvas, completely blank for him.
“Talk to me Darlin.’ Tell me what you want,” he said with his voice muffled by your chest.
“Your hands,” you whispered, desperately.
As if your wish was his command, he slid his hands from your chest down to your waist. He dug his thumb into the waistband of your underwear and pulled them off. With your leg in his hand, he lifted it up, and placed a kiss to your ankle.
Slowly, his hand slid from your ankle all the way to where you wanted him the most.
Delicately, his fingers slid along your folds before he took two fingers and slipped them inside you.
Your back arched involuntarily at the sudden feeling until Jake’s free hand pushed down on your stomach, flattening your body against his mattress as he pumped his fingers in and out.
The pressure was building rapidly as Jake continued working on you.
As a dull ache began throbbing inside you, you grabbed onto the wrist of the hand that was on your stomach with white knuckles. Your other hand grabbed onto Jake’s quilt below you, bunching it up in a fist.
“Come on, finish for me,” he cooed deeply as the pads of his fingertips curved upwards inside you.
And this time, as if his wish was your command, you did.
You closed your eyes, threw your head back, fought back on him pushing you down by lifting your back up off the mattress once more, and let his fingers take you to a place of ecstasy.
Under his control, you rode it out until his hand came to a gradual stop and he loosened his hold on you.
He snaked his body up so that you were face to face once again, you out of breath, looking up at him and him looking down at you with a smile on his face.
Like it was second nature, you opened your legs for Jake to settle in between and reached down and dug your fingers into the waistband of his underwear, pushing them down as far as you could until he finished the job for you, revealing his hard length.
Sitting back on his heels, he pumped his member a few times before leaning into you, closing the gap between the two of you.
He held himself steady at your entrance and looked up at you with concern in his eyes. This was it.
“Y’Ready?” he whispered.
You answered with a wordless nod and a grip on the back of his neck.
Slowly, he eased inside of you with a gasp.
You winced in pain and sucked a sharp breath in.
“I know, Darlin,’ I know,” Jake said softly as he kissed you gently a few times to distract you from what you were feeling. It didn’t take away the pain but his tenderness certainly did help.
Once he was fully inside you, he stayed still for a minute, allowing the pain to subside into a feeling of fullness.
With your permission, he began moving again; easing himself in and out slowly.
You felt your face relax as things became more pleasurable for you.
“Jake,” you moaned, stretching out the sound of his name while you moved your hips in time with his.
“You alright? You’re doing so good,” he said into your neck as you felt the sweat on his face transfer onto your skin, combining with your own sweat that you were working up.
“Yes, keep going,” you whispered, running your hands up and down his back.
Suddenly, he stopped his movements for a moment as he hitched up your leg and pressed down on the back of your thigh, pushing into you deeper than he had before.
You looked up at him in the eyes as a sly smile lit up his face.
“Hang on tight, Darlin,'” he spoke in a deep voice with half a smile appearing on his face.
You giggled but not for long because with that, though he was still being gentle and slow for the most part, he picked up the pressure and pace at which he was thrusting into you. It felt good. Very good.
He reached down and swirled his fingers around in circles on the spot you needed him the most, that little bundle of nerves that was bound to send you over the edge upon his touch.
Once he did, you felt it approaching again, those feelings of intense pleasure.
Jake felt it too and you could tell from the strangled moans leaving his lips every few seconds.
When you couldn’t hold onto it anymore, his name and God’s name left your lips in a series of high pitched cries and whimpers.
You threw your head back to see the ribbon of your corset, swaying in time with Jake’s bed as it thudded into the cabin walls with his movements.
“Mmm,” he hummed, “Relax and let go for me. I’m right behind ya’,” he breathed out.
Just as he instructed you, you closed your eyes and let waves of pleasure wash over your entire body. Like a snake, it started in your toes and slithered through your veins as you felt yourself tighten around him.
“There you go, there you… oh,” he said as his body twitched and his eyes rolled to the back of his head.
He pulled himself out of you and kneeled on the bed between your legs, giving himself a few quick pumps before releasing himself.
He looked absolutely ravishing. His mouth hung open. His head fell back. Guttural sounds escaped his lips. Every muscle in his body tensed up and became more defined as he reached his climax and took himself over the edge.
Slowing his movements, he blinked a few times as he came down from his own pleasure.
You looked down to your thigh to see Jake’s warm release dripping down it.
Quickly, he grabbed a rag from the table and wiped your leg clean before throwing it to the floor amongst your clothes and undergarments.
In shock and awe you looked at him. His hair was sweaty and disheveled, as was yours. His face, neck, and chest were littered with little patches of pink and red. He was perfect. Absolutely perfect.
As he caught his breath, he grabbed another rag, dipped it into a pail of water, and rung it out before walking back over to you and wiping the sweat off your face with it gently.
His face was full of concern and inches from yours as he whispered, “Y’alright?”
With absolutely no words left in you, you nodded wordlessly before smiling at him and kissing him gently. With that, his face relaxed and softened.
When he pulled back, he wiped his own face, placed the rag back over the edge of the pail to dry, and crawled into his bed next to you.
Now calm and still, he pulled you close to his warm body and gave your shoulders little kisses. He hummed in your ear to lull you to sleep, even though you could’ve sworn you were already dreaming.
Morning arrived with the sounds of birds chirping and the crackling of wood in a fireplace waking you up.
You opened your eyes to a dimly lit cabin, nearly forgetting where you were until you saw Jake sitting at a small wooden table just a few feet away from you, quickly jogging your memory that you did in fact sleep in his bed with him last night.
“Mornin’ Beautiful,” he said in a deeper than normal voice.
“Good morning,” you replied sweetly as you sat up in his bed and stretched, pulling your hair back and securing it into a braid.
Jake was clothed in a pair of jeans and an unbuttoned white shirt. The same one he wore the day he cut his hand open. You could tell because it had faint brown stains on it from all the blood not fully coming out of the fabric.
You blushed looking down at yourself in just your camisole with his red and white patchwork quilt wrapped around the lower half of your body. Jake lifted his chin towards the foot of the bed where the bottoms of your underpants were folded perfectly.
Jake fought back a smile and downturned his eyes towards his lap as you reached for your underpants and put them on.
Now somewhat clothed, you got out of bed and joined him at the table.
“Hungry?” he asked as you looked down at what he had laid out on the table.
His dishes weren’t the fine China you were accustomed to. He didn’t have the shiniest cutlery made of real silver nor sparkling crystal glasses. Instead, his plates, cups, knives, and forks were all made of a dingy tin. None of that mattered at all though. You loved what his life offered you more than what yours did.
Sitting on each tin plate were two biscuits and in between them was a small bowl of butter that he dipped a knife into and spread onto a biscuit in his hand.
You spread butter on yours and picked up a fork and knife to cut a bite sized piece off of it when Jake caught your eye.
He took a large, messy bite and wiped the sides of his mouth with the back of his hand. He had absolutely no table etiquette. He was a product of his own free world, and you absolutely loved that about him.
You placed the fork and knife back down and followed him, doing exactly the same and it felt good.
He laughed through a full mouth and said “Honey?”
“Hm?” you questioned, looking at him with wide eyes.
Gesturing to a small glass bottle next to you he repeated himself, “You want honey on ‘em?”
Before you could answer, he took the honey for himself and let a small amount drip from the bottle onto the last bite of the biscuit in his hand.
“S’good, try it,” he said, holding out the biscuit across the table for you.
You opened your mouth and laughed as Jake fed you. The sweet flavor of the honey as well as the saltiness of the butter opened in your mouth like a blooming flower in the spring.
Delicious, just as life was like with Jake. Yet bittersweet, what the reality of the situation was.
As the two of you concluded breakfast, Jake cleared his throat.
“Now, I do have to take you back. ‘Fore the sun comes up fully. ‘Fore they find out you’re gone,” he said.
He was right. You were positive Katherine made up some kind of lie to cover for you but the sun was just beginning to rise. You didn’t have much time left. You nodded understandably and stood up from the table.
As Jake cleaned up the table, you got dressed in your clothes from the night before, leaving behind your corset at the foot of his bed and satin ribbon which still hung on his headboard.
As the sun was rising, you and Jake rode back to your house on Whiskey’s back. He snuck you through the back fields until the two of you were standing behind the barn, in the secret meeting spot you had come up with months ago.
You sighed upon getting off Whiskey. You knew what was coming.
“Hey,” he said, grabbing the sides of your head as he spoke to you, “Promise this aint the last time you’ll see me. This isn’t goodbye. Promise me, Darlin,'"
Through teary eyes you promised him, silently praying he was right while knowing the truth of it all was probably hopeless.
He kissed your forehead and the second you closed your eyes, tears fell to the ground between the two of you.
Jake lifted your chin with his finger. His eyes were welling with tears and he was doing his best to hold them back.
He kissed you one last time.
Softly.
Gently.
Lovingly.
You held onto his lips with yours for as long as you could. When the kiss broke, you scanned his face hard and took in all his features, telling yourself to remember him this way; to not forget him or anything about him.
His sharp nose. His big brown eyes. His rough, tanned, and freckled skin. His soft lips. Everything.
He looked down and reached into his pocket, pulling out a small pocket knife. The same one he had used the night you first spoke to him and he cut you out of your corset.
“In case you ever get yourself into trouble,” he whispered as he placed it in your palm and closed your fingers around it.
You placed your other hand over his.
“Jake,” you whispered, “I l-,”
The morning call of a rooster in the distance interrupted you.
It was time.
Everyone would be waking up now. There was no time left.
“Go on now Darlin,'" Jake whispered with tears filling his eyes, “I’ll see ya.”
You looked to your house and back to Jake for the final time. You wiped a tear that had fallen onto his cheek and gave him a kiss right where the tear had fallen before turning around to go back to your house, leaving him there behind the barn to sneak back home on his own.
The next day, you had just gotten ready for bed when your bedroom door opened and your father walked through the entryway.
“Good evening, Daddy,” you said to him as you sat up in bed.
He sat down at the foot of your bed and held something behind his back. When he revealed it to you, your heart sank.
“May I ask what this is?” he asked, holding up the knife.
“I don’t know,” you lied, “I’ve never seen that in my life.”
“Interesting,” he said, inspecting the knife, “I found it in here just this afternoon. Looks to have some letters carved in it. J…T…K. Would those letters be familiar at all to you?”
JTK.
Jacob. Thomas. Kiszka.
You could lie. You could say you stole it from him or you found it and were planning to return it.
You opened your mouth to speak but the opportunity to lie didn’t stand a chance as your father’s open palm came up and swiftly struck you across the face.
His voice boomed with anger.
“You are a disgrace! Nothing but a common whore! Sneaking out and having relations with another man! That man of all people!”
You could hardly believe your ears.
“I love him,” you protested.
“You do not love him!”
“You wouldn't know what love is!” you shouted.
It was as if twenty three years of anger that had been building inside you had just exploded out onto him and rightfully so. Your father didn’t know what love was. He never showed it to you or to your mother. He was the reason this seemingly never ending cycle of loveless marriage would be continuing with you.
Rage filled his eyes. His face turned a shade of red you’d never seen on him before. And then, he did the worst thing he could possibly do. He took the knife and threw it into the fireplace.
A shriek escaped your lips but was quickly cut off by your fathers hand pressing itself over your mouth as he got inches from your face.
“In a weeks time, you will be marrying Mr. Drayton and from this point forward you will never see your beloved Jake again or so help me God. Is that understood?”
Terrified, you nodded and he removed his hand from you as he turned to leave your bedroom, slamming the door shut.
The second the door closed you ran to the fireplace and sat on your knees in front of it, watching the wooden handle of the knife turn to ash and the blade turn black as it burned.
That knife was all you had of Jake. And it was destroyed. Now he truly was nothing but a memory.
For a week your father kept a close eye on you, not allowing you the chance to leave your house. Jake was fired and your father banned him from setting foot on his property or else he’d have him arrested.
For the next week, you laid in bed miserable. You went to sleep each night dreaming of lying next to Jake and woke up the next morning imagining yourself back in his bed in his little cabin in the woods. Then, the day of the wedding came and there was no more dreaming, only nightmares.
Katherine and your mother spent hours getting you ready. They did up your hair and makeup to the point of you not even recognizing yourself in the mirror. The white lace dress that was hanging in your room for the past few days was now about to be put onto your body to be married in.
As your mother helped you into your corset, she asked, “Darling, where is your ribbon? The white one?” your mother asked.
Darling.
Jake’s voice replayed in your head.
Darlin.'
Images of the ribbon dangling above your head on Jake’s bed flashed before your eyes.
“You were wearing it just the other day for your party. Right before you fell ill,” Katherine added, looking around for it.
“I don’t know,” you lied in a whisper, lowering your eyes to the floor.
You knew exactly where it was.
Your mother scoffed, “Nonsense. Honestly, how irresponsible can you be? I’ll just go fetch one of mine,” she said in annoyance as she left the room, leaving you and Katherine alone.
“How did he find out?” you whispered.
Katherine looked at you sympathetically and sighed, “He saw you both coming back early in the morning last week. Started putting two and two together. He asked me- I said he had to be mistaken. He didn’t believe me. I’m sorry, Sweetheart.”
For your entire life, Katherine held onto your secrets like they were her own. You knew she didn’t tell. If she did, she would have been fired along with Jake for aiding you.
She knew what happened that night. She always knew. Because the truth of it was, she was more a mom to you than your very own mother. And though parting with Jake hurt, parting with her was going to hurt just as much.
You nodded your head at her, fighting back tears, as your mother came through the door again with another white ribbon and began caging you in the corset, tightly, constricting your breathing and painfully caging you in.
To your absolute dismay, the wedding happened. You put on your best fake smile and got through the day as well as the kiss between yourself and William, which almost everyone in attendance assumed to be your first kiss.
After the wedding, a carriage awaited you. William followed you in and in a few moments, it was off, taking you to live with him forever where your mundane life of misery would truly begin.
You sat next to William as the carriage rode along the dusty roads towards the city, making idle conversation.
After just a few minutes, the carriage approached a man on a brown horse traveling the opposite way. As you got closer to him, you knew exactly who he was.
As the carriage passed him, it was as if time slowed down.
There he was. The only man you ever truly loved. And you never even told him.
He tipped his hat at the two of you. William nodded at him politely and unknowingly.
Your head followed him as he passed and you took notice of the horse, who had a white satin ribbon tied in a bow on the bottom of her braided main.
As the carriage pulled you forward on the road, he got smaller and smaller. He looked back at you and gave you a smile.
You returned a smile to him and turned back to face forward in your seat.
Through the pain yet relief of seeing him, you smiled, this time to yourself. You were from different worlds. And for just a moment in time, your worlds collided. It was beautiful and winsome but over too soon. And though all you had left of the collision of those worlds with Jake were memories, you still had him in your heart, where he stayed for the rest of your life.
You smiled, at least you were under the same sky.
Author's Note: This took a while, sorry! To everyone who stayed with the story and was patient with the publishing process, thank you. I may post it as one big story so it's easier for future readers. As always, please let me know what you thought of it! Thank you to @abeautylives for all the support and help along the way, love you the most!
Taglist:
@peepeepoopoopantz @sacredjake @writingcold ld @jakekiszkasbuttsweat @radmads-gvf @iheartjakekiszka @sadandgeek @vanfleeter @cassy-face (Cassy-face it wont let me tag you properly bff idk why) @myownparadise96
Tag list is a mess and doesn’t work pls stay with me on this while I fix it.
I just want you to know that your fic Something About You is my absolute favorite piece of work I've ever read on this website. I may or may not have shed actual tears.
I think it’s my favorite that I’ve written, this means the world to me 😭😭😭
Summary: “When people misbehave, they get punished. That’s how they learn, ya know?”
Warnings: Pit viper Josh, punishment sex, degradation, dominant Josh, bondage (tying hands/wrists and blindfolding), use of the word “slut,” “slave,” and “whore,” puppy play (kind of), forced blow job, gagging, breath control, mention of vomit, humiliation, teasing, rough unprotected sex, impact to the face, spitting.
Word Count: 6.5k
To say you planned to make Josh fall apart would be an understatement. However you never thought he’d turn the tables on you.
As you stood there, with a metal shelf pressed against your back and your hands tied above your head with the strings of your bikini top, trying to figure out how to get yourself free, you thought back to the series of events that led you to this moment.
It was a Kiszka family weekend. Their parents and sister had planned to come to see a show in a few days and the guys had the weekend free, which called for family activities.
Each of the boys organized something. Jake booked everyone hotel rooms, Sam made reservations and covered the cost of all the dinners, and Josh booked the daily activities- which he specifically was very excited for, because you were staying by a lake.
Josh rented a boat for one of the afternoons- something the entire family would enjoy.
So, a few days ago, you rush-shipped a new bikini and coverup for the trip and the day before leaving, it showed up at your front door.
Perfect.
It was a dark green cheeky bikini with little white flowers embroidered on it that was held together by just a few strings. It was cute however, it was a bit smaller in real life than it was according to the pictures online.
But the way it hugged and accentuated every part of your body that you wanted it to perfectly when you tried it on gave you a boost of confidence and not to mention, a few dirty thoughts- thoughts that you were sure were bound to cross Josh’s mind too. Besides, you loved time off with him. He wasn't as tired as he was during show days and you had more time for "activities."
He was going to love it, that much you were sure of.
But, you remembered, you’d also be around his family. So of course, you also purchased a cover up. The cover up was an off white knitted dress that would do its job for when you were around the family or at public places throughout the day.
You packed bags for yourself and Josh and right before zipping up the bags, you admired to yourself how your new bathing suit unintentionally but probably subconsciously matched the one Josh was set to bring- white swim trunks with a subtle pattern of green accented shapes. You threw it on top of yours and zipped the suitcase.
***
“Sam just texted me that he’s leaving now so he’ll be at the dock in a few minutes. You ready?” Josh asked as he laid on the bed of your hotel room on his phone, not bothering to look up to you as you walked out of the bathroom.
“Mhm,” you hummed, giving yourself one last look in the mirror.
“Oka- Woah. No. Absolutely not,” Josh protested at the sight of you.
“What?” you asked as you continued to put your earrings in.
“The outfit! No!” he said with a chuckle coming off his lips as if it was all a big prank.
Instantly, you put on the charm.
“You don’t like it?” you asked innocently.
He sighed, rolled off the bed, and came over to where you were standing, clasping his hands behind your back and pulling you close to him.
“Don’t be like that, Mama. It’s just… a lot. Well, actually, it’s not a lot at all. You’re practically wearing nothing. I mean, my parents are gonna be there today,” he explained, getting a good look at you.
You gave him a little pout, dropped your chin, and looked at him through your lashes to hit him with your best puppy dog look.
There was no sense in arguing. Josh knew you could be a bit of a handful at times and after all, that was something about you that he had to admit he loved- something that turned him on, even.
He laughed to himself and shook his head, “God, what am I gonna do with you?”
“Love you too, Baby,” you said sweetly as you gave him a quick kiss and a pat on his butt.
After grabbing your bags and a case of beer, you Josh walked out of the hotel, and down to the dock to the boat he had rented hand in hand. You were the last ones to arrive- as usual with him.
It was hot out but cloudy, and the breeze from the water was perfect. However, despite the clouds, Josh had on a pair of sunglasses. Pit Viper sunglasses to be exact. He loved them. You hated them. They made him look like a douche bag and he knew it. But, with you wearing a skimpy bikini that he didn’t exactly approve of, he figured he should include something you weren’t exactly a huge fan of as part of his outfit for the day. It was only fair.
Josh made a grand entrance upon stepping onto the boat, holding up the case of beer he brought and screaming out to his family to let them know the two of you had arrived.
The boat was big. It had a few decks as well as a full indoor living area, kitchen, and even a bedroom. There were also stairs leading down to an unlit area which you assumed led to storage and technical stuff.
After greeting his parents and sister, you sat down on a white padded bench near Sam who was was sitting crisscrossed on the deck of the boat while his girlfriend had her hands in his hair, tugging it this way and that as she put two French braids in it to keep it from blowing wildly in the wind.
“You look handsome with your hair like that, Sammy,” you said sweetly to him.
“Thank you! You look lovely today by the way,” he replied.
You smiled at Sam’s compliment and looked at Josh with an I told you so look on your face.
“Hm. At least Sammy thinks I look nice,” you whispered to him.
“I never said you didn’t” he said sternly as his jaw clench and he swallowed hard.
He lifted your legs up onto his lap and ran his free hand up and down them a few times before resting his hand just above your knee, almost as if he was claiming you.
“Don’t start something you can’t finish,” he warned in your ear, just above a whisper as the boat started moving.
You opened your mouth to give him a smart ass reply but stopped yourself when his dad stood in front of the two of you, handing you each a drink.
“You like black cherry, right?” his dad asked with a Whiteclaw extended to you.
“Yes, it’s my favorite, thank you!” you answered with a smile as you grabbed it from his hand.
Josh took a can of beer from his dad, cracked it open, gulped down almost half of it right off the bat.
“Slow down, Baby, no one’s taking it from you,” you giggled as you brought your hand to the back of his neck and swirled your fingers through the curls at the bottom of his head.
He swallowed and brought the ice cold can to your legs, using them as a table and sending shivers throughout your body.
As the boat sailed through the water, everyone drank, talked, and laughed. Everyone except Josh, who was quieter than usual. He was good at masking his emotions though. No one seemed to pick up on it except you. After all, you knew exactly why he was quiet.
What you wanted to happen, was happening. It was only a matter of time before he broke.
Soon, the boat anchored at a shallower area of the lake. The captain informed you all that the water was about twenty feet deep, making it safe and suitable for jumping off the boat and swimming.
“You guys going in?” Jake asked the two of you, standing up and unbuttoning the black overshirt he had on.
Josh looked over at you and raised his eyebrows, silently asking you if you wanted to go in.
You didn’t answer Josh, instead, you eyed Jake up and down, making sure Josh saw you do so.
“Yeah,” you said, replying not to Josh, but Jake.
You sat up and gave Josh a small smile. He didn’t smile back. Instead, he tipped his sunglasses down so you could see his eyes which were strong and giving you a warning look.
Ignoring the “knock it off” look, you gave him a quick peck on the lips before taking off your white knitted cover up. When you pulled it over your head, instantly, you caught Sam and Jake’s eyes on you, despite their own girlfriends being there.
Sam was obvious. His eyes practically burned a hole into the fabric of your bikini. With her hands still braiding his hair, his girlfriend jerked his head around and he winced as his hair got pulled, a seemingly intentional move on her part.
Jake, at least, was smarter about it, hiding behind a pair of round black sunglasses and raising his beer can to his lips, taking a sip to hide his smile.
Even their dad gave Josh an approving look and a raise of his eyebrows.
Josh handled each of them as he stood up to follow you.
He smacked the unbraided side of Sam’s head as he walked by him.
He laughed his dad off as respectfully as he could.
And as he walked by Jake, who was standing on the edge of the boat, he gave him a push and watched him fall into the water below him.
The sound of his body hitting the water was all you heard until you looked over to see him laughing with just his head out of the water, his body completely invisible as it emerged in the dark lake water surrounding him.
“You dick!” he shouted jokingly, “You better get your ass in here and bring me a new beer!”
Josh turned to you, pulling you in tight by your waist, “You heard your boyfriend,” he teased, “better get your ass in there,” he said, smirking.
“Jealous?” you asked sweetly.
He looked down at your chest and then back to your face.
“No,” he answered, stretching out the word fighting back a smile.
“Yeah, we’ll see about that,” you said as you gave him a peck and jumped off the boat and into the water with Jake.
Immediately, Josh followed behind you and eventually, Sam, his girlfriend, Jake’s girlfriend, and Ronnie were all in the water with you.
After a while of swimming with the group, having canned drinks thrown down to you all by their parents, and Sam and Jake swimming away to pee, you started to get cold and the group of you got back onto the boat before it took off again to head to another location in the lake.
As you sat on the top deck in just your bikini, with your legs in Josh’s lap, the sun started burning off the clouds little by little, making the day grow hotter, which was nice considering you were in a cold, wet bathing suit.
“You’re getting a little pink, Baby,” you said, pressing your fingertips onto Josh’s sunkissed shoulder and releasing them to see a small pale dot linger behind before returning to the same color pink around it.
“Yeah you can still burn even with the overcast,” Sam interjected, squinting up to the sky.
Josh rolled his eyes. Sam didn’t have that problem and he never did. Sam’s skin always held strong under just one layer of SPF 30 all day while Jake and Josh would be better off reapplying SPF 50 every hour. Sam’s comment also didn’t help with Josh already annoyed at him.
“You want 50?” his dad asked, holding out a can of sunscreen?
“Ah, yes, that’s perfect,” you said, standing up and reaching for the can from his dad, making sure you pushed your ass and tits out just a bit more than your normally would, “Thank you!”
“Course,” his dad replied.
Josh grabbed your wrist to stop you from twisting the nozzle open, “Actually, you wanna go inside with me? Get a drink and be in the shade for a little?” he asked quietly.
“M’kay,” you replied, getting up, handing his dad the can of sunscreen back, and following him inside the boat as the sounds of his family members talking and laughing muffled with the closing the glass door behind you.
“I want to make something very clear to you,” he said as he pulled you down the stairs by your arm and swung you around to face him once you reached the landing and were out of earshot of the captain of the boat.
The way he whipped you around made your breath hitch in your throat and you exhaled hard as your eyes met his and he continued speaking through his teeth.
“You want to dress like a slut? Act like a slut? I will treat you like a slut. And then we’ll see just how you like it, hm?”
You looked at yourself in the reflection of his sunglasses and smiled just a bit, tugging at your bottom lip with your teeth. You hated those sunglasses but you were so thankful for them right now. You had to admit, you loved seeing what he saw as you looked at the reflection in them. And right now, all you saw was a little brat who deserved whatever was coming her way.
If he wanted to, you’d let him take you on the stairs right then and there for anyone to see. That’s how bad you wanted and needed him right now.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you said sweetly, playing dumb.
“Really?” he asked rehtorically, “You think I didn’t notice all that shit you pulled with my brothers out there? Hm? And my fucking dad?”
“I was being nice. Unlike you who got a little attitude all of a sudden,” you said fighting back a smile.
You knew you weren’t just being nice.
“Yeah the way you were looking at Jake was really nice, wasn’t it?”
“You know what, I think you are jealous after all,” you replied.
“And I think, you need to be taught a lesson,”
“So teach me then,” you said, crossing your arms in front of you, making sure you pushed your tits up just a bit with it.
That was it and you knew it. Those four words sent Josh to his breaking point and the look on his face proved it.
Josh smiled, shook his head, and let out a laugh through his mouth as he traced his bottom teeth with his tongue.
“Teach you? Oh I’ll teach you,” he said as he pulled onto your arm and led you down the narrow corridor of the basement of the boat and into a small room that was seemingly reserved for the crew members.
He slammed the door behind him and twisted the dead bolt to lock it.
He flicked on a light switch to reveal that you were both standing in a storage closet, containing just a utility sink and a metal wire shelf that was stocked from ceiling to floor with cleaning supplies.
“What’s your word, Mama?” he asked with his hands in his hair, untying the white bandana that he was wearing.
“Red,” you said clearly.
“And what if you can’t talk?”
“Shake my head three times.”
“Perfect,” he said, smiling at you and then turning his attention to the bandana between his fingers as he gave it a good tug.
There was a ball of anxiety in your stomach that was more excited than nervous or fearful. The two of you had experimented with stuff like this before. You trusted Josh with everything in you and even though you knew he was about to completely ruin you for his own pleasure and entertainment, you knew you were in good hands. After all, this is what you hoped for.
“Now,” he began as he spun you around, grabbed your wrists and held them together in his hand behind your back, “I don’t give a fuck about your pleasure. I don’t give a fuck if you cum. You misbehaved. And when people misbehave…” he paused for a second to tug the bandana tight around your wrists, “They get punished. That’s how they learn. Ya know?”
All your body would let out was a hum in agreement as Josh grabbed your shoulders and spun you around forcefully, manhandling you.
“So,” he whispered as he brought his face close to yours, “It’s time for you to learn so this doesn't happen again,” he said as he flicked the tip of your nose.
He used one hand to sneak to the back of your neck and untie your bikini top. In just a few seconds, the strings were undone and the top came tumbling down, exposing your bare chest to him. The second string that wrapped around your back was still in place though, keeping the two triangles of the top just dangling over your stomach, swinging back and forth as you moved your body.
The same hand continued down your chest and he swirled his fingertips over your nipple lightly, causing your back to arch involuntarily at his touch.
“Mmm, feels good?” he asked softly with his mouth an inch away from yours.
“Yeah,” you breathed out in a whisper, closing your eyes and subconsciously bringing your face closer to go in to kiss him. A kiss which never happened because Josh pulled his face back.
In a second, a sinister chuckle left his lips and a sharp pain rang through your chest as he pinched and pulled upward on your nipple.
“Don’t get used to it,” he said bluntly, giving it one last tug before ripping his fingers from you.
“Get on your knees,” he commanded as he crossed his arms over his chest.
You did as he said and dropped down so that your face was at eye level with the bulge in his swim trunks.
“What are you waiting for? Take ‘em off,” he said sharply.
“Josh,” you said bluntly, “I can’t,” you emphasized your words, reminding him that your hands were tied behind your back.
He didn’t need to be reminded. He didn’t care.
“Get creative. You’ll find a way.”
You looked up at his face and then down at his shorts which were at eye level. All you had was your mouth.
Inching closer to him on your knees, you took your teeth to the waistband of his shorts right by his hip bone, and tugged down.
They came down an inch on one side and you crawled to the other side of him and did the same there.
Back and forth you went, on your knees, tugging Josh’s trunks down an inch at a time on each side, looking absolutely pathetic, as he stood from above and watched with a smirk on his face, laughing at you. You couldn’t even see his eyes through his sunglasses, all you saw was yourself, his slave, in the reflection of them.
After getting his shorts down about halfway and struggling to get them to come off past his bulge, he had had enough and he pulled his shorts down the rest of the way, fully revealing his hard cock to you.
“Suck it,” he commanded.
You looked up at him, licked your lips, and leaned forward to take his dick in your mouth.
The second the tip of his dick pushed past your lips he let out a sigh of pleasure and grabbed the back of your head.
Instantly, he started using his hands to guide you. He used your hair as leverage, pulling at your roots and pushing down on your head as he moved you back and forth. It felt good- that little sting that came with each pull.
Normally, you’d be able to add some “technique” to sucking his dick. You’d use your hands and twist them around his shaft. You’d be able to go at your own pace, starting slow and sucking the tip the way he liked it. You could swirl your tongue around the head of his dick or cup his balls to send him over the edge a bit. But not this time. All you had was your open mouth. He was in control of everything.
In a way, you were glad he was. You could barely keep your own balance due to not being able to use your hands and water dripping from both your bathing suits and your hair had made the floor just a bit slippery below your knees, causing them to slide around a bit. Not to mention, you were on a moving boat.
However, him being in control of everything meant he was going to use you just the way he wanted to.
Quickly, he picked up the pace.
Josh let go of your hair and his hands gripped the sides of your head and pulled you back and forth on his dick with force a few times.
But that wasn’t enough for him. He stilled his hands, kept your head steady, and started thrusting his hips into you, fucking your face.
The gargle sounds that started in your throat and came out of your mouth as the saliva collected in your open mouth and began dripping onto your chin were something you’d only ever heard in porn before.
He looked down at you the entire time and you looked up at him, watching yourself in the reflection of his sunglasses. You could see and feel your own saliva dripping down between your tits.
With every thrust, his sunglasses slid further and further off his nose and you flinched as they came down, just missing your face, and hitting the floor to your left.
He stopped for a minute with his dick still in your mouth and both turned your eyes to the floor where you could just faintly see the sunglasses in your peripheral vision.
“Pick ‘em up,” he instructed and he pushed your head off of his dick backwards.
You wiggled your body around and leaned sideways awkwardly to grab at them, but you were unsuccessful. You tried a few times, grabbing them with your fingers before dropping them time after time. The way your wrists were tied up didn’t allow your hands for much movement. Not to mention the way you had to bend around was difficult and was stretching your back in painful ways, causing you to wince and whine as you tried.
You sat back on your heels and looked up at him, defeated and out of breath.
He laughed, “You are absolutely pathetic, Baby. Come on, I thought you were smarter than this.”
You looked at the glasses on the floor again and sighed. Still sitting on your heels, you turned yourself around, giving him a view of your ass with your hands tied right above it, which you were sure he loved.
And just as he wanted you to, like nothing but an obedient dog, you leaned down and with your mouth, picked up the glasses and crawled back around to present them to him.
He reached down and cupped the side of your face gently, a contrast to how he had been handing you for the past few minutes.
“That’s a good girl,” he cooed the same way he would reward Sam’s dog for doing a trick, as he took the sunglasses from your mouth.
You fully expected him to put them back on his own face but instead, he reached down and put them on you.
In any normal circumstance, this would be a soft act of kindness. But not in this one. This was just another way of humiliating and degrading you, and the next words out of his mouth proved it.
“There we go, that’s better,” he said softly and sweetly, before his tone changed as he continued, “Yeah,” he laughed, “I don't even want to look at you.”
He stroked himself a few times before he continued, “Now, is my good little puppy ready for her treat? Open,” he said as he grabbed the back of your head and forced you onto his dick once more and held you there.
You gagged around his dick as it hit the back of your throat. You concentrated on breathing through your nose as your throat closed around his dick. You were swallowing his cock and your own saliva all while fighting back vomit that you could feel forcing its way up your throat.
Tears welled up in your eyes ran down your face, causing the inside of the glasses to fog up to the point where you could no longer see anything.
He kept one hand on the back of your head and used the other one to take hold of your nose and squeeze your nostrils shut.
At that point, you had lost feeling in your arms, you couldn’t see, and now you couldn’t breathe.
The only thing you could do was feel him using you and take it. Your mouth was nothing but a hole for Josh to use to get himself off. Every ounce of dignity was stripped from you. The only thing that even provided you with the slightest bit of it was your bathing suit bottoms that were still intact but pooling with your own wetness as Josh continued fucking your face.
You were a second away from shaking your head to get him to stop when he shoved you away aggressively, allowing you to suck in a massive and well earned breath as well as close your mouth to swallow properly for the first time in what felt like forever.
He pushed the glasses up onto your forehead, allowing you to regain your sense of sight, and both of you watched a string of saliva connecting your mouth to his dick stretch and eventually break apart into two pieces landing on his thigh and your chest.
Breathing with your mouth open to catch your breath, you sat back on your heels and looked up at him, desperately, as he looked down at you with a pleased expression on his face.
You were practically panting to catch your breath when he reached down and lifted your chin to close your mouth.
“Close your mouth, Baby, you look like a whore.”
No shit.
He held onto your cheeks and smooshed them together, hard, causing your lips to part and letting all the excess saliva ooze between your teeth, bubble out, and dribble down your chin.
For just a fraction of a second, he smiled at you. It was so brief that if you would have blinked in that exact second, you wouldn’t have seen it.
And just as quickly, his expression was serious again as he released your cheeks from his grip with a push to your face.
With that same hand, he swirled your hair around his wrist and held it tight in a makeshift ponytail in his fist before using it to yank you up to your feet.
You winced as he pulled you up forcefully, feeling your neck stretch as your legs tried to keep up with how quickly he was pulling.
As he pulled you up, you slipped around on the floor which was not only covered in lake water, but now drops of your own saliva. Josh held you steady for a moment with each of his hands gripping your upper arms.
He spun you around, freed your wrists, and spun you around again so that you were now facing him.
He threw the bandana to the floor on top of his disregarded swim trunks.
“Take that off,” he commanded, jutting his chin out toward your bikini top that was hanging by one loose knot just below your ribcage.
Careful not to drop it, you untied it, pulled it off, and handed it to him, unsure of the next plan he had for you.
“That little bratty mouth of yours served me well, Mama. But now,” he said as he held your wrists together in front of you and wrapped the bikini top strings around them a couple times, “Let’s see what that pussy can do for me, hm?”
He walked you backwards a few steps until your back made contact with the metal shelf behind you, causing you to shiver from how cold it was.
He raised your tied wrists over your head and using the rest of the bikini top, he secured your wrists to the top wire shelf, wrapping the string around in the most unconventional way and creating knots that would be close to impossible to undo.
He gave your wrists a yank and when they didn’t detach from the shelf or slip out of the ties, he smiled to himself with satisfaction.
He walked around to the front of you and looked you up and down.
“Comfortable?”
“No,” you whined as you moved around a bit, struggling.
“Aw that’s too bad, Mama. You look so pretty like this. All desperate and helpless. Nothing but a whore for a good fuck,” he said as he sucked his teeth and gave you a condescending pout.
He took one finger, starting at your wrist, and ran it down the inside of your entire arm.
You squirmed as his finger brushed over your armpit and down to your nipple, giving it a flick before his hand came up to your chin.
With his other hand, he grabbed the front of your bikini bottom and pulled tight, letting the fabric create a burning friction between your folds.
You let out a whimper of pain.
“Jo-” you whined.
“Shhhh,” he said, shushing you but also finishing the last sound of his name that you whined out.
He let go and the elastic in the bottoms snapped back onto your skin with a sting. He pushed the crotch of your bikini bottom to the side, feeling around with his fingers- feeling the wetness that had accumulated. Slowly, he dipped two fingers inside you and pulled them back out.
“You like all this a bit too much, don’t you?” he asked in a sweet voice, “Maybe a bit more than you should?”
He was right. You liked this more than you should. A lot more than you should. Any sane person would find this completely humiliating and degrading. But surprisingly, this got you more turned on than anything.
You wanted Josh to use you. You wanted him to treat you like an object- not a person- nothing but a masturbation tool for him.
You nodded in response as he pulled his wet fingers up and held them in between both of your faces, rubbing them back and forth, inspecting what was left on them.
“You know, I’m starting to think you planned this whole thing,” he said, smiling sinisterly, "You're smarter than you look,"
He picked up the bandana off the floor and wiped his fingers with it before balling it up and shoving it in your mouth.
“You like how you taste?” he asked with his hand covering your mouth tight.
“Mhm,” you said with your voice muffled from both the bandana and his hand.
“I’m gonna give you something that you’re really gonna like then,” he whispered as he lifted your leg up and placed your foot on the ledge of the utility sink next to you.
Still holding the crotch of your bottoms to the side with one hand, he lined himself up with your entrance and then held onto your hip with his other hand as he slid inside you, bottoming out and filling you up completely.
He started off slow, pulling out most of the way before filling you up again. However, he quickly picked up the speed and pressure, pushing your back into the metal shelf behind you with every thrust.
That familiar dull ache began forming deep in your stomach as he kept going. It would come and go with his movements. Normally, you’d be able to tell him what to do to make you cum and he’d do it happily. But not this time. Right now, you knew your place. You were his toy, nothing but a set of holes for him to jack off into. Your pleasure meant absolutely nothing to him, he said it himself. If you asked him for anything to help you get closer to a release, he’d do the opposite and laugh at you.
As he continued, you felt the string of your bikini bottom come loose and fall over your leg and his. You looked down to see the strings dangling from your body and swung around between the two of you.
Upon looking down, the glasses that he had rested on the top of your head, once again, fell to the floor. But this time, Josh paid them no mind.
Instead, he pushed on your left leg that was held up by the sink and used your thigh for leverage, allowing himself to go in at a deeper angle as his other hand white knuckled the shelf behind you.
He grunted and breathed hard through his teeth while you whimpered in both pain and pleasure while biting now on the soak bandana.
All it took was one particularly deep and hard thrust to send a pornographic combination of expletives and moans from your mouth into the air.
“Oh God, Josh! FUCK!” you screamed, letting the now saliva soaked bandana to fall to the floor.
Josh reached his hand up to your face laid his entire palm on your cheek with a hard slap before forcing four of his fingers into the side of your mouth and pulling your lips apart as he hooked his hand around so the palm of it was on your cheek and he was pressing your head back into the shelf as he continued fucking you.
“Come on, Mama, louder. Let ‘em all hear. You’re lucky I’m not fucking you up there, letting Sammy and Jake have their turns too. Bet you’d love that, wouldn’t you? Keep it in the family, huh? You wanna fuck my dad too? Be my new step mom? You want that, don’t you? Disgusting.”
“No,” you argued back.
But with his hand prying your mouth open, you couldn’t get your lips or tongue to make the right N sound, which in turn made you sound the most pathetic you ever have.
“I’m sorry you’ll have to enunciate. What was that?” he asked with a chuckle coming off his lips, knowing damn well you loved being his little fuck toy and you were his to humiliate.
“I aid o!” you attempted to say.
“Oh you said no? Didn’t seem like it considering you’re all over them, wearing this slutty little bikini. Oh you look so handsome Sammy! Good for nothing but sucking and fucking,” he said, pushing into you harder as he spoke those specific words.
He started slamming into you mercilessly. The shelf behind you began moving and hitting the wall with each thrust with a thud. Paper towel rolls began falling from the top shelf onto the floor. Bottles of soap and cleaning products began falling over on the shelves as Josh pushed you into it.
Despite all that, Josh didn’t stop. Instead, he put his foot up on the bottom rung of the shelf and lifted his hips up underneath you, pushing himself deeper than ever before.
That was it. That was all it took to send you over the edge. The building feeling in your stomach came to a peak right there and exploded.
Your eyes rolled to the back of your head and you watched the inside of your eyelids flicker open and close as you felt yourself tighten around Josh’s dick with your orgasm pulsing through your body.
It was like nothing you’d ever experienced before. It was deep and strong and well earned.
The sounds that came out of your mouth were unintelligible.
He fucked you through your orgasm and right into his, letting out a deep moan as he released himself inside you. He closed his eyes tight and furrowed his eyebrow as waves of visible pleasure filled his entire body causing his body to twitch as they hit.
When he finished, he stilled his movements and let go of your face; and the two of you, with your faces less than an inch apart, just stared at each other in awe, breathing heavily. Almost like neither of you could believe any of that just happened.
Gently, he cupped your face, as if he was silently asking you if you were okay. It was like time stopped for just a second with him.
“You’re so pretty,” he whispered, looking at you with a genuine softness in his eyes.
He broke eye contact and looked down as he pulled himself out of you. Slowly, he lowered your leg back to the ground before cleaning himself off in the sink. He splashed cold water on his face and shook it off. You watched him as you felt the warmness of his cum starting to drip out of you.
Josh reached down to the bottom shelf next to you and uncapped a plastic bottle of water.
“Open,” he said as he lifted your chin up and poured water in your mouth carefully in an act of kindness.
You swallowed a few times and he pulled the bottle away, letting the excess water drip down your chin, neck, and chest.
He gulped down what was left in the bottle and when he was done, he pulled his shorts back on and stood back, admiring his work.
Your hair was a mess- half wet, half dry, and tangled. There was black makeup streaming down your face. Saliva, both wet and dry, had run from your mouth, to your chin, and down to your stomach, leaving a wet spot on the top of the crotch of your bikini bottoms, which were hanging on loosely by one hip as his cum dripped down your inner thigh.
Finally, to put the finishing touches on his masterpiece, he got his face close to yours and expecting a kiss, you lifted your chin to him.
“Now,” he began, “What do you say?” he said softly, letting the word “say” draw out a bit.
“Thank y-,” you started to say when you were interrupted by Josh spitting on your face.
You flinched as it hit your face.
He aimed for your mouth but missed by just a bit, landing just below your bottom lip, giving his saliva no choice but to trickle down your chin and then down your chest, where it fell in and mixed with every other bodily fluid imaginable.
He picked up his sunglasses and bandana from the floor and ran them under water in the sink.
“Well,” he said casually as he laid the bandana across the edge of the sink to dry and shook the excess water off the glasses, “I’m gonna go take a nap so, I’ll see you later, Mama.”
“You’re seriously not going to get me out of this?” you asked with your hands still tied to the shelf.
“Eh,” he said, “You’re smart, I’m sure you’ll figure something out,” he said with a shrug of his shoulders as he opened the door and shut it behind him, flicking off the lights as he left, leaving you there as you were.
In the darkness you moved around a bit until a little green blinking light above the door caught your eye.
summary: A persistent and charismatic stranger disrupts the serenity of your tropical escape. What's the harm in a vacation fling?
warnings: 18+ minors stay far away, summer Josh, language, drinking, mentions of sexual situations, explicit sexual content, each chapter will come with its own warnings
HIIIIIII, I’m taking a very obvious hiatus from writing, but this is the last piece I wrote and I’m still very much in love with it. Maybe you’ll like it 🥹
a/n: If you’ve made it this far, THANK YOU! I really loved writing this little miniseries so if it made its way to you and you enjoyed it, thank you thank you thank you.
Series Masterlist
pairing: Joshxfemale!reader
word count: 3k this part
summary: A vacation fling that ended in heartbreak. How far will you go to put the pieces back together?
warnings: Absolutely none other than some language
Six Months Later
I do not need this shit today.
Your boss has been riding your ass particularly hard this week, but today it’s taken the form of email after email, requests for quarterly reports, calendar invites to meetings you won’t even get to speak during. Why did she wait until Friday to lay all this shit on you? The incessant ding from your computer with each incoming notification is giving you a migraine. You let your eyes drop to the bottom right corner of your screen.
11:47am. Fuck it.
You clock out for your lunch break unannounced, grab your bag and your phone and make your way toward the elevator. No one so much as raises their head in notice of you, but you avoid their eyes over the walls of their cubicles anyway.
The midsummer heat envelops you as soon as you step out onto the sidewalk, a welcome change from the frigid conditioned air inside the office building, your headache easing up instantly. Bypassing a Starbucks on the way, you pop into your preferred coffee bar, a cozy local spot with better drinks and far superior food. From behind the counter, the barista greets you by name and asks if you’re having your usual, but you turn down the hot drink in favor of something iced.
The second the heavily caffeinated liquid hits your tongue, you can feel the remnants of your headache melting away. You find a lone seat outside on their shaded patio, sipping your drink as you pull out your phone to scroll mindlessly for the next forty-five minutes.
You’re doing exactly that, flipping your thumb over the screen as your For You page flashes past, pausing occasionally to watch a video in its entirety. Every five or six videos or so, the same song starts to play, something that’s trending but that you don’t recognize, so you flip past it. Over, and over, and over again until you realize you’ve heard it nearly ten times.
Your thumb moving now of its own volition, you swipe another video away as that same song starts. This time, you bring it back to you with a downward pull.
The screen is split, your eyes first drawn to the person on the left who’s definitely wearing a ridiculous wig and mouthing along to the words of the song, an acoustic guitar strumming the tune that’s vaguely familiar to you now that you’ve heard its beginnings so many times. You let your focus slip to the right, the video that the creator is clearly imitating, and your phone slides from your fingers. It hits the edge of the bistro table and bounces, landing face up on the ground at your feet, the song still playing as the video runs on a loop.
There’s no fucking way.
You scramble to scoop your phone from the bricks, the screen undamaged and his face on full display.
His face.
It looks different than the face in your memory, younger maybe, softer at the edges that you remember being sharp, defined. Maybe it’s the lack of facial hair.
The video plays on and you can’t stop watching it, again and again, eyes focusing on a different part of him with every loop. The way his plump lips move over those obscenely perfect teeth, the way his eyes sparkle as he lifts them though you can’t see the exact shade of his irises, the way his curls look almost exactly as you remember them, despite the ways he’d changed. The way he drops his head and his jaw flexes, that is very familiar to you.
Josh.
What the fuck is this?
You’d been so stunned at the sight of him that nothing else had truly registered, but now your eyes are bouncing around the screen. He’s singing. Is he a singer? What the hell is he wearing?
What is this?
Greta Van Fleet. The words tumble over themselves in your mind as if they're in a language unknown to you. The tags on the video capture your attention.
#gretavanfleet #gvf #snl
Saturday Night Live? You’re about to dive into a Google search when you catch the time at the top corner of your screen. Shit.
Coffee in hand, you speed walk back to your office building, eyes still trained on your phone’s screen. It’s a miracle that you haven’t tripped or mowed someone over as you’re stuck scrolling, your first entry into the search bar being what you assume is a band name.
Rock band from Michigan
Kiszka brothers, twins Josh and Jake
Kiszka. Josh Kiszka.
He’s fucking famous.
The rest of your work day passes in a blur of emails and reports, your focus effectively obliterated by what you’ve discovered. You actively have to resist searching for him on your company computer, your fingertips itching to type in his name, so you settle for putting in your AirPods and pulling up their discography on Spotify.
Unfortunately, the sound of his voice, nothing like the voice that spoke so many beautiful words against your skin, sucks the air from your lungs until you feel like you might actually have a panic attack. You wrench the AirPods from your ears and throw them back into your bag.
Five o’clock couldn’t come soon enough.
The door of your apartment slams behind you, your bag and keys tossed to the ancient hardwood and heels kicked aside within seconds. You can’t be bothered to change out of your clothes, tossing your blazer aside as you enter your bedroom and hiking your pencil skirt up over your thighs as you sit cross legged in your bed, laptop already pulled to rest in front of you.
His name is typed into your browser as soon as you flip it open, and within seconds you learn more about him than you did in all the hours spent together. His birthdate, his hometown, his middle fucking name. This almost feels invasive, like you’re suddenly privy to information that should be secret, yet here it is for all the world to see. You open the Images tab and hold back a sob, a hand flying over your mouth to capture it.
Before today, you’ve never seen a picture of him. There’s a barrage of them on your screen, ranging from what must be a few years old to what you assume are current, his appearance so similar to that of your memories. Clicking on one to enlarge it, your fingertips leave your lips and trace over the image of his. You feel a hot tear slip free and roll down your cheek.
You’d love to say you had boarded that plane and simply accepted the fact that your time together was just that, limited and perfect in its brevity, a sweet escape from reality that was never meant to exist beyond the confines of a tropical resort. But that would be a lie.
Instead, you’d returned home a broken woman, bereft in the loss of him. It wasn’t logical, your heartbreak, but that fact hadn’t helped it heal. As you look at him now, through a watery veil of tears that won’t stop coming, you realize that time has done nothing to lessen the hurt.
Unable to stop yourself, you let your eyes move over the screen, taking in every version of his sweet face. Some pictures look like they’re from the same period of time as the footage from the TikTok, his stage outfits much more flamboyant and form-fitting than the plain white t-shirt or tank he’d adorned every day that you knew him. Knew him. That’s a joke. You didn’t know him at all.
But you had wanted to.
You switch back to the Google search results. As you scroll down the page, you avoid clicking links to videos that look like interviews, the thought of hearing him speak is overwhelming in the worst way, but something else grabs your attention.
His Instagram.
Your laptop abandoned, you open the app on your phone and search for his username, your finger hovers over the top result before you suck in a breath and tap it.
More pictures, a carefully curated collection of images made up almost solely of him. You open the most recent and feel heat blossom over your cheeks. It’s just him, you’re growing used to the sight of his face already, but he’s in profile and his curls are pulled back and tucked beneath that cap. The same one he’d been wearing when you met him by the pool. It’s so nearly exactly how he looked the first time you saw him up close that you have to move past it before you crumble completely.
His captions are sometimes poetic, as you had learned he could be, and now it all makes perfect sense. He’s an artist, a lyricist, he is a poet.
Here you are again, scrolling, growing numb to the digital portrayal of his face as you take in each one, watching him age in reverse as you reach the very last post on his account. When you make it there, you click on his username and it opens back at the top. You stare hard at the options before you.
Follow
Message
There’s no way it could be that easy… right?
The next days pass slowly, dragged out by the dwindling hope that the message you had managed to type out with shaky fingers somewhere around midnight that first night, will be read.
Days turn into weeks, your work performance suffering as the hole he’d left in your heart only seems to grow. You check Instagram almost obsessively but that little note never appears to indicate that he’s even seen your message. You lose yourself to it a little bit, the fixation, the need, he feels so close and somehow farther away than he’s ever been. It sometimes feels worse than not knowing anything about him at all.
In a dark moment of tequila-fueled weakness, you send another message. And another, convinced that somehow you’ll grab his attention. Prompted by a new set of black and white portraits uploaded to his account, you’d purchased the bottle and brought it home to drown in it, staring at the photos until your vision blurs. In the first image he’s looking directly down the barrel, into the lens, his body facing away and head turned toward the camera, an unbearably devilish smirk curving his lips. You know that smirk and the dimple it pulls into his skin well, it appears frequently in your dreams and now it takes up the entire screen of your phone, made up of pixels that lack all of the warmth and vibrancy that emanate from him.
You double tap your screen, a white heart appearing and disappearing over his grin. In a desperate attempt to be noticed, for him to sense your torment, you tap the heart at the bottom left corner of the picture, changing it from red back to an outline, a shell of itself. You repeat this over and over, red to outline, red to outline, will he see the notifications? Will anyone? Even if he did, would your username set off any alarm bells, does he even remember you?
He promised he would, but he didn’t keep every promise he made. Not when it mattered.
Willing yourself to stop liking and unliking the picture, you go back to your messages. Still unread.
The frustration gnaws at you from the inside until you feel on the verge of a true mental breakdown, a snap decision away from being locked up. Ignoring the potential consequences, you make that decision anyway, and a quick search brings you the name of their management company.
This is crazy… right?
You had definitely called. The first call was answered with cool professionalism that you met with your own cultivated “phone voice”, the conversation pleasant enough until you’d come out and asked for Josh Kiszka’s contact information. You’re sure you heard the woman on the other end of the line gasp, a sharp intake of breath followed by a heated dismissal as she admonished you for even daring to ask for the personal information of one of their clients. When the distinct click of the call disconnecting hits your ear, you’re not surprised.
But it doesn’t stop you from dialing the number again. And then again when the call goes unanswered.
The same woman picks up the phone after allowing it to ring for a considerable amount of time, and she manages to maintain the professional tone she’d answered with the first time. You ask if you can leave a message for Mr. Kiszka, but she declines and advises you to stop calling their office.
Two days later, you call again. As soon as you hear her, you know it’s the same person and that she’ll be prepared to hang up on you the moment you open your mouth. You don’t even try to hide your desperation, practically begging her to just take your name and number and pass it along, no message, no further information, please just tell him I called.
Click.
Six weeks. It’s been a month and a half since you saw that God forsaken video and it’s haunted you every day. You’ve gone to borderline embarrassing lengths to reach him. Messages, comments across the band’s various social media platforms, you’ve gone so far as to slide into his brothers’ DMs, in the hope that maybe one of them actually checks them.
They don’t.
As if it’s routine for you now, you absently scroll through your recent calls while you sit at your desk and tap on the number you’ve memorized as that of their management office, putting your phone on speaker as it rings. Ready to go toe-to-toe with Amber again while you wrap up an email, you’re shocked into momentary silence as a voice you don’t recognize comes over the line and greets you with the name of the company followed by their own and an offer to assist.
“Oh, hi um, Drew, was it? Drew I’m trying to get in contact with a client of yours, a Mr. Josh Kiszka. Could you-“
“What’s your name?”
Fuck. You can’t lie, so you give him your first name and hold your breath, waiting for the inevitable click.
“Please hold, I’ll connect your call.”
Holy shit. Your palms are instantly clammy with a cold sweat. There’s no way. The phone nearly slips from your fingers again as you take the call off speaker and hold it up to your ear with a shaky hand, the generic hold music drowned out by the rush of your own blood, your heart racing.
In a small conference room several floors over Drew’s head, the intercom at the center of the table beeps. Josh is seated there, next to Jake, the other band members across from them. All eyes dart to the intercom before sliding back to Patrick, their manager’s assistant that’s leading this meeting. Patrick sighs and leans in, pressing the button to answer the call.
“We’re in the middle of something, what?”
“S-so sorry sir, Mr. Kiszka has a call waiting on line three.”
Patrick sighs again deeply as he shakes his head, the other men around the table grin at each other, individual eyebrows raised in curiosity before they look back to the head of the table.
“Sorry guys, new fucking intern- Which Mr. Kiszka, Drew? Quickly.”
“Oh- I, sorry, Josh, sir.” Drew is about to lose this job before he even truly has it.
“And you didn’t just take a message because…?” Patrick is understandably irritated but the rest of the guys take the interruption in stride, leaning back into their chairs and letting their gazes drift back to Josh, intrigue written between his brows and on the subtle downturn of his lips.
“I- Don’t know sir, I’m so sorry, I’ll let her know-“
Josh interjects, cutting Drew the smallest amount of slack that he seems to desperately need. “Hey, that’s okay I’ll just take it. Where can I…?” He trails off and Drew stutters through telling him there’s a vacant office next door to the left, he can pick up line three, before Patrick presses the button to end Drew’s suffering.
“You expecting a call, Josh?” Sam, the youngest Kiszka brother speaks up, an inquisitive eyebrow still sitting high on his forehead.
“Ya know, I’m not, and that makes it all the more mysterious doesn’t it?” He waves his hands through the air and flashes a wide grin before standing and leaving the room.
The office next door is indeed empty, and dark. Josh flips the light switch on the wall and strolls in, rounding the tidy desk and taking a seat behind it. A multi-line corded phone sits at the corner, a red light flashing next to a button labeled Line 3. He leans in and lifts the handset from the receiver, putting it up to his ear as he pushes the button and the flashing light goes solid.
You’ve been on hold for what feels like hours, though it’s probably been only a few minutes, and you can’t bring yourself to end the call. The hope radiating through your body has caused a flush to creep over your chest and up your neck, you’d torn your cardigan off and thrown it onto your desk after the first minute. Your cheek is hot against the glass of your phone’s screen and your heart feels like it’s about to burst from your chest. You suck in a gasp and hold it when you hear the line click.
“Hello?”
His voice. You haven’t heard it at all since the day you’d found out who he was, haven’t listened to a song, haven’t watched a video. There would have been absolutely no way you could’ve handled it, and you’ve been holding out hope against every odd that the next time you did hear it… it would be straight from his own mouth. The sound of it leaves you light headed as you exhale the breath you’ve been holding, and you realize you haven’t said anything.
His voice rasps through the speaker again. “Hello?”
Summary: You’ve lived a sheltered and privileged life, only learning what it truly means to live and love after meeting Jake, a young man of unusual western sorts who was hired to work on your father’s farm.
Warnings: Warnings will be posted with each chapter. But there will be incoming smut in the future.
Chapter 1
*If you have info on whoever created AI cowboy Jake and Sam, please let me know so I can credit them!
