abel

he they user and professional nerd

[abelaripiprazole]

intro post wow

hi gang. i am abel. he they pronoun user

fictive of atsushi nakajima bsd. professionally diagnosed dissociative identity disorder system. this is my new side blog that i made for ocd reasons

enjoyer of cartoons and uhhhhh. horror. metal. also an enjoyer of my beautiful excellent beloved boyfriend rue

what do i even say here. ough

other alters who keep sneaking onto this account include:

- cain, a he/him user and fragment alter with like 2 personality traits

- avery, another he/him user and traumaholder alter who ends up cofronting with abel a lot

[hideki-koga]

キバラガラ（Yellow-bellied Tit）

[abelaripiprazole]

our higuchi fictive does not front often. but when she does. Hoo Boy. she is so not normal about akutagawa or the akutagawa fictives we know and i am so glad that she is too afraid to be actually blatantly parasocial at them because haley please. i need her to front during one of our psychologist appointments i am Concerned for her

[abelaripiprazole]

the narc crash psychosis and anxiety disorder combo is actually nefarious because i can be talking to literally anyone about anything and suddenly the demon on my left shoulder (mental illness) will lean in and whisper to me ‘actually this person thinks you’re disgusting in relation to this topic and has brought it up as a subtle way to tell you this. ‘

and i go ‘well. that is not true. because that’s the stupidest possible way to communicate ever and nobody i talk to would do that. what the fuck are you on about’

and the demon says to me ‘no i’m right. because remember you did a thing that could be vaguely related in terms of metaphors and this person actually thinks you’re disgusting and evil for that. you need to kill yourself right now’

and then i look into the camera like i am on the office. and i think to myself (what a wonderful woooorld) i think to myself ‘i know i have a psychotic disorder but this is irrational even for me.’ and i cannot bring this up because otherwise i look incredibly suspicious and also i look actually fucking insane. i’m battling demons except it’s my 7 deadly mental illnesses and i am Not winning

[abelaripiprazole]

sometimes i think about boyfie and how we quite literally found each other in another life by some kind of absolute miracle and i think to myself wow. i am the luckiest fucking person to have ever walked the earth. i cannot believe i was privileged enough to love this sunshine of a person in one life and then was lucky enough to love that same gorgeous person in this lifetime as well. literally the light of the universe. i look forward to eternity because i know i’ll have my soulmate by my side until the heat death of the universe and then beyond that into the next one

[abelaripiprazole]

'do you think shin soukoku are still together in another world' yes. in fact i KNOW they are. because i am an atsushi fictive and my beloved boyfriend is an akutagawa fictive and we have been together for over a year

[abelaripiprazole]

i am the only atsushi fictive ever because

1. i am also tortured by visions (schizophrenia diagnosis at 14 ough)

2. my childhood was literally almost exactly the same minus the orphan part

3. i have the faggot swag

4. um. uh. what other personality traits does atsushi have. i’m a rude bitch to people on occasion

5. i, too, would let akutagawa ryuunosuke munch on me without complaint

[abelaripiprazole]

i am so funny

[abelaripiprazole]

how people obsessed with moral purity look at me when they say ‘ew i can’t believe you find gore comforting’ and it pisses me the fuck off so i say ‘well actually i was surrounded by gore for my entire childhood and well into my teenage years. the only gore i ever watch is fictional gore done with special effects, unless it is a documentary, in which case i exclusively watch documentaries that handle the dead with respect and care. gore is comforting to me because it was constant and inescapable for almost my entire lifetime and if i did not learn to find comfort in it then i would have been driven to madness by sheer terror. so when you treat me like a monster for watching gory movies when i am alone in the privacy of my own home, you are shaming a deeply traumatised and mentally ill person for the only coping mechanism that was able to get him through the nightmare that was his childhood’

(people who behave like that are generally incapable of compassion towards others and just want to degrade others so they can feel better about themselves. they do not actually care about victims or struggling people. they just care about being able to flaunt their righteousness)

[abelaripiprazole]

being a fragment is so funny. because i am chuuya bsd fictive but because i am a fragment i have like 2 emotions. which is 1. contentment 2. paternal feelings towards akutagawas. hi rue if you are seeing this i care you

[abelaripiprazole]

absolute insanity that i managed to score the human embodiment of sunshine and comfort and also actually managed to keep him for over a year. i am god's favourite

[slumber-spirals]

hiiiiii :3 i love you so much my dear mwah mwah

[abelaripiprazole]

i adore you so much mwah mwah mwah

[abelaripiprazole]

absolute insanity that i managed to score the human embodiment of sunshine and comfort and also actually managed to keep him for over a year. i am god's favourite

[seri-tonin]

Suehiro Tecchou period cramps moodboard