Architecture doesn't feel like it's for me anymore. It feels absurd that I've come this far in my career only to find myself doubting my own abilities. The past few years in this profession haven't been kind. Clients have come and gone, and although I've designed many structures, I haven't had the chance to see any of them become the kind of success I had hoped for. I know no design or project is ever perfect, but lately I can't shake the feeling that I don't belong in this industry.
Earlier today, I tried to share some of my designs on social media. Almost immediately after posting them, I came across a rant from one of my batchmates—also an architect—criticizing another architect's renderings and presentation style. Reading those comments discouraged me. I know architectural rendering and presentation have never been my strongest skills, and suddenly I started seeing my own work through that same harsh lens. I ended up deleting some of the posts I had just shared.
I know it's probably too early to give up, but carrying these thoughts has been exhausting. Ever since my father passed away, I've struggled to feel hopeful about my future. I miss having my engineer by my side. His guidance, encouragement, and belief in me are things I can never replace.
I've been searching for hobbies that might bring me joy or help me rediscover myself, but even simple interests like clay art and hiking feel out of reach because they're expensive—and I don't even have a job right now.
Some days, I feel very close to quitting. But despite everything, I still hope that one day I'll find where I'm truly meant to be. I just hope that day comes soon.
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