A CRIME FOR ALL SEASONS

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[abigailhalliday]

Brianna Capozzi

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Title page _The pathos of distance_ 1913

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HANK WILLIS THOMAS

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Mia Berg

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Tarocco (detail), 2011 oil on panel Luigi Benedicenti

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Le Paris d’Eugène Atget. Le 5 rue Bonaparte.

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Frankie Nazardo

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Cover of British Vogue, September 1965 (Detail)

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[abigailhalliday]

The devil has not been on my shoulder but in my arm for the last three years. Time to get my life back. Good riddance implanon.

[Warning: serious post, don't read if you're a judgemental a-hole]

After some research & reading posts online from many other women also in my position, I felt comforted knowing I wasn't alone and inspired to open up about something that's been very personal to me. I'm not usually one to post my personal life/problems online but if this can help even one person, it's worth it.

To any of you ladies thinking about getting one of these little contraceptive monsters - don't. At first all seemed too good to be true but let me tell you, it was just that. Over the last year I started noticing changes in myself which at first I put down to just being a girl in her 20s - hormonal, playing Black Sabbath a lot louder than usual and generally feeling like it was me against the world. Then as time went on the side effects became more and more severe. From constant bleeding for sometimes a month at a time (ew gross I know - sorry guys!) to weight gain and even panic attacks. For the first time in my life I developed depression. Anyone that battles with this will understand how it takes over your life and how you can even be in your favourite place in the world, with the people you love the most yet feel empty with no will to carry on. I became completely demotivated to the point of missing out on important career opportunities as well as having no control over my emotions, which I regrettably took out on those close to me. That was my breaking point. More recently came something a lot harder to hide - acne (bare minerals powder foundation & instagram filters really do work wonders but unfortunately neither heal). Put all of these problems together and you have one hell of a battle to go up against. Implanon side effects are very real and messing with your hormones is a dangerous deal.

So today I've taken action and the first steps on the path to a happier future. I'm interested to know if any of you have similar stories and to those who have and want to talk about it, I'd love to hear from you. Contact me at [email protected] Much love x