Just Another Facebook Refugee

Ally, 39, San Francisco. I'm a feminist, an introvert, a creative. I'm bizarre in ways most mundanes never even consider. I consider stereotypes as a dare. You'd never recognize me IRL. Oh, yeah…I’m also very happily married to @not-the-mermaid. This blog rated FR for openly addressing both fandom and real-life topics: gender equality, politics, and other stuff that goes on in the real world. You may encounter occasional nudity here, just like in real life. Under-18 welcome if accompanied by an open mind. If that's not enough to assuage your curiosity, click here, here, here, or if you really want TMI, here, here, or here to delve into my innermost depths.

[futileexercise]

[myautumnsoul]

People: “it’s still only Jul-

Me: 🖤🎃🍂🕷🔮🕸🌙👁🦇🔪👣⚰️💀🖤🕷🎃🍂🕸🌙👁🦇🕷💀🖤🎃🎃🎃🖤🕷🕸⚰️🦇👁🖤💀🕸🌙🍂⚰️⚰️⚰️🔮🍂🍂🍂🔮🔮🎃🖤🖤🕸💀👁🔪👣💀🖤🍂🎃 🕸💀👁🔪💀🖤🍂🎃🔮🕸🌙👁🦇🕷💀⚰️🖤🕷🖤🕸🔮🕸🌙🦇🕷🎃👣💀🍂🖤💀🕷🕷🌙🌙🎃🍂👣🍂🕸🌙👁🎃🎃🦇🎃💀🔮

[abowtieandtwohearts]

One of the joys of coming back to tumblr after a few weeks away is catching up on the posts of the, like, 10 mutuals I truly follow.

[abowtieandtwohearts]

WELL. I’ve now been 40 years old for two weeks…meaning that it’s been two weeks since my amazing over-the-top 40th birthday party. Which turned out to be a surprise sleepover with four other couples we’ve known for a long time. And while everything that happened at that sleepover is most definitely going to stay at the sleepover—cameras and phones were left at the door!—I can say that my darling wife made good on all of her promises, starting with her promise of “40 in 14”, meaning 40 orgasms in the 14 days leading up to the official celebration.

And quite a grand celebration it was, too; Madison and her co-conspirators outdid themselves. Our friends down on the Peninsula played host for the occasion, so besides their delightful home there was also a pool and an outdoor spa and a sauna and space to romp naked on the grass.

We dined magnificently…Madison and our hosts outdid themselves on the food, and my in-laws—who were clued in on the dining aspect of the occasion (and only that aspect, although I’m sure they guessed certain other parts)—sent several amazing wine selections to pair with every course.

We made music; we danced; we talked; we played games—Naked Twister out on the lawn and Spankgammon back inside were particularly popular—and we made love. Yes, all of us together in various combinations, one way or another. All night. I got at least one orgasm from everyone there…but I gave at least one to each of them too, just because I really enjoy giving 👅 and 🤌🏼 (and sometimes even ✊🏼 if requested). I’d say they did things to me that I’d only dreamed about, except that I’d already done them all before…just maybe not everything together in one night. 😳 It was way more than physical—it was a whole night (and day!) of true intimacy at the soul level.

And yes, before anyone asks, I was indeed the…beneficiary 🤔…of a very thorough birthday spanking, courtesy of my wife. It sounds like a cliché to say this, but it did in fact lead to the most intense orgasm of my entire life. It was like being caught up in a hurricane and a tornado and an earthquake and a tsunami all at the same time while a meteor landed! I can’t even begin to describe it beyond that—so I won’t try. After 10 years of marriage, Madison knows my body even better than I know it myself, and that night she played me like a Stradivarius.

None of us went to work the next day—or anywhere at all until after dinner on Wednesday. And tbh I wound up staying home from work that Thursday and Friday, too. But damn, what a way to celebrate!

Now, two weeks later, the euphoria of the party has worn off, the post-party depression is gone, and even my behind is back to its regular pale color. 🤣 I am officially middle-aged, and I’m OK with that. But I’ll never forget how I left my 30’s to arrive here.

Thank you, Ms. Madison Grace. Words will never suffice for how deeply I love you. 💞

[abowtieandtwohearts]

Wow…just 90 minutes to 40 years! 😳 Madison has informed me that, once midnight arrives, I will not be allowed to make any posts for at least the following 36 hours. See you on the other side of my 40th birthday!

[bowlby4]

[clinging-to-decency]

[introvers-ion]

think for your fucking self

[wiltking]

so you're telling me the fifa world cup is all men? its all men's teams? and so is the superbowl? and all the sports teams that states are known for and make copious amounts of merch for are also men's teams? and only 5 women have ever entered formula one since its inception in 1950 and only two of them were able to compete? and this is normal? its acceptable?

[abowtieandtwohearts]

“Normal”? No. “Common”? Unfortunately yes. “Acceptable”? Not in the least.

[abowtieandtwohearts]

Holy shit…I’m going to be 40 (!!!) in just two weeks. 🤯🤯🤯 We’re going away for the weekend just before, but Madison has been planning a big party for the actual day, and she has warned me I should plan on missing work the next day. 😳 On the bright side, she has promised me 40 orgasms in 14 days 🩵 starting promptly at midnight tonight. Of course, she hasn’t said jack about exactly how any of the 40 might be achieved…. I’m excited and kind of nervous at the same time, and certain nerve endings are all tingly 🔥 already.

[abowtieandtwohearts]

(tw: lots of things…see the tags) As conflicted as my feelings are every year on Mothers’ Day, Fathers’ Day is totally the opposite. I loved my dad unreservedly and always will; I miss him daily. When my mom died unexpectedly 30 years ago—I was 10—my dad was there for me. When I tried to unalive myself at age 12, Dad was there for me. When I first came out to him at age 13, Dad was there for me. When a boy tried to rape me at age 16 and I defended myself by killing him, Dad was there for me. When my junior-year girlfriend Julie didn’t feel safe coming out to her parents, Dad was there for both of us. When I went on to graduate first in my high school class, Dad was there for me. I trusted him completely and he never ever let me down. He died while I was in university, but I’m pretty sure he would be proud of what I’ve done since then, and I know he would be best buds with Madison’s dad. Thank you, Dad, for my life. 💙

[sigynpenniman]

But when I say the “wholesome and funny” YouTube short I have been handed of students surprise showing their teachers 10+ year old photos of themselves and most them were emo/goth in some way and every single one now has medium brown beach waves and is wearing head to toe beige and immediately screams and hides the photo like it’s the most embarrassing thing in the world is a hallmark of a deeply insidious tendency to associate socially acceptable WASPy aesthetics with maturity and responsibility and perpetuates the idea that everyone grows up, “gets right” and becomes the most digestible unobtrusive heterosexual I’m “taking it too seriously”

[sigynpenniman]

“It’s not that serious” oh but it issssss because every day we perpetuate the idea that non-conformity of any kind to the white straight middle class standard is inherently immature and gets “left behind” when someone becomes a socially acceptable adult

[sigynpenniman]

This idea that maturity is conformity is everywhereeee if you look for even a moment

[isuggestrevolution]

i have a suggestion

[abowtieandtwohearts]

In most ways I seem pretty “mature” at work…at least here in the Bay Area, where same-sex couples are common. But everyone in my company knows me as “that woman VP who’s always barefoot”, so I guess I’m nonconformist in at least one small way. 😬

(Outside of work, though? All bets are off, especially at events like the Folsom Street Fair or Bay to Breakers! We don’t go clubbing as often as we did 10 years ago, but when we do, heads still turn. 😈)

[nationalcelestial]

How many of the musicians performing at BottleRock Napa 2026 have you heard of?

None

1 - 10

11 - 20

21 - 30

31 - 40

41 - 50

51 - 60

61 - 70

71 - 80

All 81

Voting ended onJan 20

[abowtieandtwohearts]

Madison’s parents (Gen Jones, both of them) have gone to Bottle Rock every year it was held except the first one, but this year they splurged on VIP tickets for themselves…and surprised us by gifting tickets to us too! We were blown away by their generosity. I have the best in-laws a girl could ever ask for! 💜💜💜

We just got home a few hours ago; what a weekend! The only downside is that we both have to work tomorrow, even though we really need a weekend to recover from this past weekend! I have to say, though, that I’m rather glad Madison’s parents have a hot tub and sauna at home.

[apolladay]

Forget normal, boring hair length polls. How long is your hair based on what it can get in and potentially annoy you? (only count when it's still on your head and your head is straight) (if you have restricted movement or don't have 1/+ of these body parts, approximate)

between toes, standing

between toes, sitting

butt crack

belly button

armpit

mouth

ears/nose

eyes

none but not bald

bald

results

Voting ended onMay 31

[abowtieandtwohearts]

Sigh. There is no choice for down-to-boobs (or, to be gender-independent, mid-back), which is how long mine is currently. Madison is currently sporting waist-length hair…nearly but not quite to her butt.

[porterdavis]

He is Israeli Minister of National Security

[abowtieandtwohearts]

Many of my Jewish friends are as ashamed of the Israeli government and its actions as most Americans are of the 🍊💩 and his regime. With, clearly, good reason.

[jayce0927]

[abowtieandtwohearts]

You can always give yourself your own orgasms. True intimacy at the soul level is so much more than hooking up that there really aren’t words for it.

[thereignclub-trc]

I just want to remind you that sometimes your life really doesn't begin until you are 26+... Romanticizing and obsessing over our youth is harmful. Growing up is beautiful. Discovering who you are and how you interact with the world is a gift. Maturing and learning what you truly want out of life and living in that purpose brings fulfillment and peace. Your life is not over in your early 20's because you haven't figured it out yet, it's just beginning.

[abowtieandtwohearts]

Truth! I’ll be turning 40 🤯 in about 2 months…and when I think about who I was 15 years ago, it’s like night and day. Sure, some things haven’t changed—lesbian, introvert, creative, feminist, naturist, software geek, INFJ, coffee addict, always barefoot, stuff like that—but now I’m married, to a Ph.D. computer scientist no less, and an engineering VP at a big company that barely existed 15 years ago. Hundreds of engineers work in my division…I barely know them all.

Fuck, I even have a retirement plan and a financial advisor. I look in the mirror most mornings and think, “who is this adult-looking woman and what did she do with Ally?!”

[raventhecelt]