Reader and JJ are in a relationship despite her father telling her to stay away from him. One day she gets a call from Sarah or Kiara that he’s in the hospital- his dad beat him within an inch of his life. Luckily her dad is somewhere on the mainland for the next two weeks so she can sneak out. She doesn’t leave his bedside for anything but using the bathroom until he can leave the hospital. Maybe he’s in surgery when she gets there, and/or has to have emergency surgery, maybe his heart stops a few times from like internal bleeding or something.
Request: Reader and JJ are in a relationship despite her father telling her to stay away from him. One day she gets a call from Sarah or Kiara that he’s in the hospital- his dad beat him within an inch of his life. Luckily her dad is somewhere on the mainland for the next two weeks so she can sneak out. She doesn’t leave his bedside for anything but using the bathroom until he can leave the hospital. Maybe he’s in surgery when she gets there, and/or has to have emergency surgery, maybe his heart stops a few times from like internal bleeding or something.
Pairing: JJ Maybank x reader
Warnings: some language, the beginning of spice that doesn’t lead anywhere, angst but has a fluff ending
Masterslist
“Dad please! Stop!” Your footsteps on the stairs echo along the walls as you storm to your room as your dad rants on and on about how bad of an influence JJ is. Quickly turning around your eyes find his as he starts his ascent up the stairs. “I love him please, try to understand.”
“Sweetheart, I know you think you love him but you’re both too young to understand what that means.”
His voice is softer and the hardness in his eyes melts away. He doesn’t understand. Mom left years ago and he refuses to even think about dating again. It doesn’t matter if you are dating JJ or someone else, he will never approve. You turn around with nothing more to say and plan to stay in your room the rest of the night.
“You are grounded starting now till an undetermined date.” His voice stops you in your tracks. “You can hang out at the country club or anyone else but the pogues and that includes JJ. Consider yourselves broken up.”
The finality lingers in his voice. You’ve only heard this a handful of times in your life and you know better than to challenge it. There is no negotiating, no changing his mind. The door closes behind you, the sound deafening. You’ve never felt so alone.
You: Steer clear for a while, wait for him to cool down
JJ: Missing you already
Tears blur the words on your screen. You tell yourself that your dad just needs to cool down. He is one of his moods and he heard about a gun firing off at a boneyard party. It was incredibly stupid of JJ to bring the gun and to actually fire it. But you understand why he did it. John B was drowning at the hands of Topper.
A week passes and your dad hasn’t let up on the ban. Mostly you just stay at home in your room. You avoid seeing your dad. A day after the ban started, he took your phone so you couldn’t message JJ. He has eyes all over the island that could keep track of where you went, who you spent time with. Dinner time is the only instance you can’t avoid him.
“I have to go to the mainland for two weeks for work.” His eyes bore into yours like he already knows you’re getting an idea. “Ban is still on. Mrs. Sanchez will be checking in on you and you have to tell her if you’re going anywhere. I will still have my eyes on you. But you will get your phone back and I hope I can trust you.”
You stay silent and continue to eat like you never heard anything. You want your phone back at least so you can contact JJ or any of the pogues. If you still can’t get out to see them, phone communication was the next best thing.
A scraping sound comes our way as your dad slides your phone to you. Your eyes stare at it like it might bite you. Can’t seem too eager for it but you have to be thankful at the same time. Slowly your hand wraps around the device and you slip in into your hoodie pocket.
“Thank you,” your eyes reach his for a respectable amount of eye contact to show your appreciation. “Have a safe trip.”
***
Voicemail #1 : Y/N it is Sarah please call me back! It’s about JJ, it’s an emergency!
Voicemail #2: it’s Kie, Y/N please answer your phone! JJ is in the hospital. It’s not good. Luke… he *sniffles* JJ is in really bad shape.
Voicemail #3: The fact you haven’t answered or showed up means your dad took your phone. Please whenever you get this get your ass over here!
Your dad gave you your phone last night but didn’t allow a charger till he left the next morning. The girls’ words ring in your ears. The calls are from last night. If your dad gave you the charger you would have known and been there immediately.
Not caring about the phone now, you leave it behind and grab your car keys. The truck roars to life for the first time in over a week. Tires squeal in a distance, your tires, but the only thing you can focus on is getting to the hospital. Kie mentioned Luke, JJ’s father, which means only one thing. Luke beat JJ, bad enough this time to need medical help.
“JJ Maybank please.” Your voice robotic, in shock.
“Room 0023” the nurse at the front desk informs you. “The ICU.”
The ICU. That snaps you out of your trance and the next thing you know is you’re running. Passing through the unit doors your eyes skim all the number to find his room. The door is closed and you stop dead in your tracks. Taking moment deep breaths pass in your nose and out your mouth. The beating of your heart is still heard through your ears. Slowly you open the sliding doors to his room, preparing yourself for what you are about to see.
The room is empty. No bed. No IV pumps. The monitor is set on standby, no one to hook it up to. Why wouldn’t he be in here? The lady at the desk said he was here! What if he is dead? You stop breathing with that last thought before hyperventilating. A nearby nurse notices you in distress and slowly directs you to a chair against the wall.
”Sweetie, he is in surgery.” Her calming voice is a balm in the panic storm of your mind. “Are you related to him?
You’ve seen this part in movies before. If you don’t say you are in some compacity then they can’t share anything with you. It’s insane because you and the pogues are the family he has but they won’t accept that.
“I’m his cousin… more like siblings really. We grew up together.” The last part is at least the truth. JJ has been in my life since childhood. Were in the same class till your father’s rose up in the company that let you become a kook in middle school. No matter the social status, JJ never stopped being the most important person in your life.
“He was beaten up pretty bad, we suspect a possible hit and run along with a fight. Some facial fractures, a few broken ribs, left femur is broken. Nothing showing up on the scan of his head thankfully. He has some blood collecting in the space around his left lung, the trauma surgeon is placing a chest tube now and they are evacuating blood that is also pooling around his GI tract. But I don’t think they’ll need to wire his jaw shut and I think they’ll be able to take the breathing tube out after surgery as well.”
The nurse’s words try to settle and make sense but the only thing you can focus on is the fact his own father tried to run him over. A chest tube sounds really serious. A breathing tube? Could he not breathe on his own at one point?
“You can stay in here till they bring him back if you want.”
“Thank you.” You breathed.
The tears start flowing the second she steps out the door. All the tension and fear is crashing in on you at once. The tension between you and your dad the last week. The worry you always have for JJ getting into trouble without you there to help. The fear that iced your veins the second you saw the room was empty, scared he was dead and you never got to say goodbye. The fear you still have in seeing the full extent of his injuries.
The sound of wheels and beeping of machines echoes down the hall. A bed pulls into the room with a team of people in blue scrubs. You watch them settle the bed, the pumps, and the monitor before leaving the room. One of the people on the team catches the nurse that spoke to you outside the room and gave what you could only assume was updates on how it all went.
Your eyes gaze over towards the bed. Getting closer you see JJ laying there like he is asleep. He has a slight crease between his brows like he normally does when he is dreaming. You pray that he isn’t in any pain right now.
“JJ?” You gasp and rush to his side. Taking a seat on the side of the bed instantly your hand finds his while your other runs it’s fingers through his blood matted hair. A sob tightens in your throat as you try to speak. “It’s going to be okay, you’re okay. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”
The nurse is telling you how the surgery went and that they are just waiting for him to wake up. He got a lot of pain medications before heading over but he is responsive so they aren’t worried about his airway. She is trying her best to explain what things mean and being assuring that they are doing everything to help him. By the look in her eyes you think she knows you’re not actually his cousin but she doesn’t’ say anything and neither do you.
“Do you know how we can get in touch with his father?” She asks you next. Yeah the end of a bottle somewhere, hopefully in the bottom of a ditch.
“I think he is working on the mainland. I forgot my phone so I don’t have the number on me.”
She leaves you be after that. Occasionally coming in and out as she needs for various assessments and administering medications. You just stay where you are and continue to watch the rise and fall of his chest. Your eyes on occasion falling on the chest tube and following down to the drain.
“Hey princess.”
Your eyes meet JJ’s. Despite the pain he must be in, he sends his signature smile your way. Instead of smiling a sob escape past your lips. Your free hand tries to shield your face so JJ doesn’t have to see you cry.
“No princess, don’t cry. I’m okay. Promise.” JJ squeezes your hand. “Your dad is going to be pissed you’re here.”
“I don’t care. He is on the mainland for two weeks but even if he wasn’t I’m not leaving here till you do.”
JJ doesn’t argue with you and you stick to your word. You stay the night there and only leave to use the restroom. Occasionally taking a sponge bath in the sink. The girls bring extra clothes for you when they come visit.
“Careful, I think I’m being spoiled.” JJ groans in satisfaction as you poor some warm water over his head. The nurse gave you a basin with some shampoo so you could wash the blood out of his hair. It has been almost a week and the doctor took out the chest tube yesterday.
“I think you’re entitled to a little spoiling.” Your voice is lighter than it has been in days. Leaning over, you press your lips to his forehead.
“I only want to be spoiled by you.” JJ whispers, his eyes closed, enjoying the feeling of the warm water and your fingers running through his hair.
Finishing up, you take a towel and massage his head, trying to wring out as much water as you can before combing it. JJ protests and begs for you to just run your fingers in his hair instead. A request you complete knowing that JJ’s hair has always looked a mess no matter what. Messy is its natural state of being, as is the beautiful boy laying in front of you.
“How did I get so lucky?” JJ’s eyes gaze into yours like his looking at a piece of art.
“I think you’re getting delirious from all the pain medicine.” You can’t help but giggle, letting your hair fall on your face to shield the blush betraying you.
“Don’t hide from me, please.” His words lock up in his throat and you notice a sheen over his eyes. “You’re beautiful, even when you’re embarrassed. I’m sorry about the gun. I will never admit this to anyone else but it was stupid… I’m stupid. It cost me you, anything that does is not worth it.”
If JJ wanted to say more he couldn’t. Your lips find his with a tender kiss. JJ’s tongue dances across your lower lip, asking for more. Parting your lips you both begin to explore each other. Your body is on fire and JJ is the only thing that can be your salvation. JJ’s hands find your waist and guide you to straddle him. Careful, you maintain distance between your bodies, scared that any change in position could bring him pain.
“I wish I wasn’t in the hospital,” JJ gowls. “Or I’d have you on your back and naked in three seconds.”
“I think you’re overestimat- oh fuck!” JJ’s tongue trails down your neck, quickly finding your sweet spot.
“You were saying?”
You can hear JJ’s smug smirk rolling off his tongue against your skin. One hand remains firmly on your hip while he trials his fingers so gently up your torso, shivers ignite in their wake. He takes his time, leaving incoherent shapes before reaching his desired destination. Fighting a whimper, you bite your lip as JJ’s hands play with your breast, his thumb ever so gently grazing your sensitive nipple, as his tongue continues at it third favorite spot.
“You’re right,” JJ pants out of breath. “I do like to play with my food before I eat.”
JJ’s lips leave your neck, refocusing on a new territory. You notice the labor behind his breathing. Glancing up at the monitor you have a feeling that his elevated heart rate is in part for the excitement of being together like this again but also from pain. His warm wet tongue distracts you from your thoughts as it runs down the center of your chest, grazing the inside crevasse of each breast.
“Fuck, I want you so bad.” JJ breathes between every few words. “But I think I have to stop.”
“I’ll let the nurse know you’re ready for more pain medicine.” Your lips brush his forehead, not trusting either of you for another kiss. Carefully and quickly, you climb off of him and head for the door. “When I get back we are watching a trashy hospital cable movie and cuddling. Keep your hands to yourself this time.”
“Movie and cuddling, yes. But the last part is asking too much of me. I have to make up time being apart from you.” His signature wink flies toward you and you can’t wait for the day you get to take him out of this place. Not just the hospital but away from his dad, away from your dad, maybe from the outer banks all together. As long as you two are together and there is no one there to break you apart.
What if JJ got hurt when he crashed his motorcycle and he woke up to see reader sleeping, head resting on her arms on the edge of his bed. She’d had a crush on him for years, but never told him cause he’d liked Kiara since kindergarten.
Request: JJ got hurt when he crashed his motorcycle and he woke up to see the reader sleeping, head resting on her arms, on the edge of the bed. She’s had a crush on him for years, but never told him cause he liked Kiara since kindergarten.
Read Part One First
Y/N
Y/N wake up
The deep voice stirs me from the memories of the night. Pressure between my hand pulsates every few seconds as I feel another sensation filtering through my hair. My eyes slowly open expecting to find the harsh sun but the night sky greets the window still. How long have I been asleep? Is JJ awake? JJ!
Peering to my left I am greeted by ocean blue eyes and a soft smirk. Trailing my gaze down his body I find one of his hands still safely secured in my own while his other stops short of another stroke through my hair. Still neither of us speaks and not an inch of air moves around the room as if anticipating what will happen next.
“Are-“ JJ clears his throat. “Are you okay?”
Am I okay? He was the one chased down by the cops, crashed his motorcycle and has been in a coma for who knows how long. JJ’s eyes filter down my face to the rest of my body, meticulously searching for any type of injury. A warmth and icy sensation fight for dominance in my chest as sob builds up in my throat and tears threaten my eyes. I am suffocating from within and I have forgotten how to breathe.
In an instant JJ’s arms are around me and I feel a groan fighting against his chest from the sudden swift movement. His voice pleads for me to tell him where I am injured, promising to make it all better, apologizing. Still unable to speak I shake my head back-and-forth and pry my head from the crook of his neck but I’m not quite ready to leave the safety of his arms. I can feel the rise and fall of his chest and all I can think is that this is so much better than simply seeing his breaths, to actually feel them with mine is something I will never take for granted.
“No, JJ I am okay.” My voice sounding more like a squeak than anything else. Buying a few more seconds before speaking, and having the desire to find more ways to touch him, my hand cups the side of his face. Butterflies surface in my stomach as he lightly presses his head into my touch. “I’ve been worried about you.”
“I’m tough as steel Y/N.” JJ tries to joke, I don’t return his smile and he quickly drops his own.
“Don’t you dare do something like that again.” My voice throaty and tears kiss my skin as they escape. It is now or never. “I couldn’t handle it if… JJ I’ve been so-“
“I will always come back to you, Y/N.” JJ interrupts me and his hand not holding mine buries itself in my hair before cupping the back of my neck. His thumb rubs circles into my skin. “You are the most important person to me.”
“P4L right?” He means the group, not me individually.
“No,” his voice lowers as his eyes bore into my soul. Heat rises on my cheeks. I want to look away but JJ has me stuck in a trance. If I am a snake then he is a snake charmer.
His eyes flicker momentarily to my lips before searing into mine once more. Like gravity we begin to move closer, slowly as if JJ thinks I’ll startle easy any other way. Slowly but all too fast and all-consuming micro explosions flow down my nerves originating where his lips meet mine. As fast as they started it stopped, but the aftertaste lingers.
“You are the most important person to me.” He repeats, the intensity of his gaze not wavering a few moments more before melting back into his familiar soft and playful gaze. “Now, come here. I want cuddles.”
“But the others...” I’m torn between letting the others know JJ is okay and spending a few more uninterrupted moments with him.
“Y/N as you so kindly pointed out, I could have died tonight.” His easy going and joking tone laces his words. My boy is back and trying to be his old self. “So as the person who almost died, who could still be dying! I feel like I should get whatever I want for at least 24 hrs. Should be a whole week, a month even! But I am a generous guy and will settle for a few more hours if the fates allow. And all I want is to feel you curled up into my side.”
My eyes bounce between each of his, the trademark smirk reappearing on his face and I can’t help but smile back at him. Without words I do as request and curl my body beside his, avoiding my weight on his torso in case he has any broken ribs. JJ’s arms easily fold around my frame and lightly squeezes in appreciation.
“Who am I to deny a dying man his wish.” I feel a soft chuckle vibrate through him before we both dose off back into sleep. Thankfully leaving the horrors of the night are behind us.
Request: JJ got hurt when he crashed his motorcycle and he woke up to see the reader sleeping, head resting on her arms, on the edge of the bed. She’s had a crush on him for years, but never told him cause he liked Kiara since kindergarten.
Read Part One First
There is a slight shake to my shoulder that darts me out of my slumber. Disoriented I take in the room and realize I am not at home but in JJ’s room. With JJ awake beside me, gently trying to wake me up. Shock overtakes me before I start to feel a smile creep upon my face. Immediately sitting up I wrap my arms around him. A soft groan vibrates from JJ and I immediately pull back to inspect him.
“Shit JJ! I’m sorry.”
“I’m okay,” JJ pants. “It’s just a scratch.”
Rolling my eyes, I want to call him on his bullshit. “Just a scratch huh?”
“Totally,” JJ’s smile matches my own. “Hey ahh, is Kie here?”
Kie. I feel my heart drop into my stomach at her name. Of course, of course he wants to see her. I’ve been the one at his side almost all night but who cares about that? Not me, obviously. I bite back the tears welling in my throat as I nod. I slip off the bed as I promise to go get her.
Clearing the door I press my back against the wall, taking refuge in the dark hall. My thoughts run rapid as a few held back tears flow down my face. Repeating my breathing exercise, I piece myself back together. I walk slowly into the living room where the others are each nursing a beer and passing around a joint. Their attention all snaps to me.
“He’s awake.” I breath out and I visibly watch their shoulders relax. “Kie, he is asking for you.”
Without a second thought, Kie is walking past me toward JJ’s room. I know I should take her spot on the couch but my legs can’t move. The other three are looking at me, waiting to see what I am going to do. I’m waiting too.
“Well, umm.” I avert my eyes to the ground, not wanting to see their pity. “I think I’m gonna go home. It has been a long day.”
“Y/N-“
“I’m okay, Sarah. Just tired.”
I make my way toward the door but a broad build with a half open shirt blocks my path. Too exhausted to fight, I just stand there staring beyond him. His warm hands find the middle of my shoulder blades and the back of my head as his arms wrap about me. The crack in my chest deepens and I can’t help the sob that whimpers from my throat. My knees buckle from exhaustion and if it wasn’t for John B I would be on the floor. On instinct my arms wrap around John B, clutching his shirt in my hands as I hold on for dear life.
I knew better than this and I still never moved on. I do know better, and things are going to change. Letting John B hold on to me a bit longer, I compose myself enough even I believe that I am okay. I convince John B that it is safe for me to leave and that I will see them all in the morning, I head out with the full intention of never caring that much about someone who doesn’t feel the same.
Request: JJ got hurt when he crashed his motorcycle and he woke up to see the reader sleeping, head resting on her arms, on the edge of the bed. She’s had a crush on him for years, but never told him cause he liked Kiara since kindergarten.
Paring: JJ Maybank x reader
The screeching of metal on concrete vibrates through my mind as the scene plays on repeat. Kie’s sobs, Pope’s shouts for JJ to stop playing around, Topper and Sarah helping load JJ’s body back into the truck. JJ’s head resting on my lap, my fingers running through his blood matted hair, telling myself he is just asleep and we are on John B’s couch.
The world is submerged underwater and my only focus is on the boy laying in front of me, my best friend. The whole idea behind getting the cross back was absurd, every moment of it. No other moment of my life has come close to the horror that chilled my bones watching the cops chase after JJ once getting Kie to safety in the truck.
Rustling coming from the door frame snaps me out of my trance to find John B, Sarah, and Kie with hushed whispers. John B wasn’t with us on our failed heist and by the look in his eyes the girls are obviously catching him up to speed. We are supposed to be taking shifts so someone is here with JJ when he wakes up but I refuse to leave. JJ’s cousin checked him out and said he should be fine, but I can’t help but watch each rise and fall of his chest to be sure.
John B’s eyes meet mine and I can see the slightest rise of his eye brows at the scene he is witnessing. I duck my head back to JJ and ignore the heat rising on my cheeks. He is the only one who knows about my crush on JJ ever since a very embarrassing late night drunk conversation after everyone else passed out for the night. But we both know that JJ has been carrying a torch for Kie since kindergarten. JJ was most hurt during her kook year, taking a long while to forgive her, but now acts like it never happened.
JJ paces back and forth with joint in his hand. Pope and John B left with Kie to get provisions for her welcome back party. Only JJ is having a harder time letting go of the last year and I am trying to talk him down. I’m really hoping the weed kicks in soon, JJ is usually more open minded when he gets a nice relaxing dose.
“Y/N how could she just leave us like that and try to come back like nothing happened?!” JJ stops mid pace to look at me, waiting a real answer.
“JJ she explained everything. We were all mad and upset she froze us out. She’s sorry and she’s back. P4L right?”
Honestly, with Kie’s abandonment I was hoping that JJ would get over his little crush and set his sights somewhere else. Ideally I would want his sights set more on me since I was the only girl in the group. I guess it takes a while to heal a broken heart. Everything went back to normal after that night.
“Y/N,” John B whispers from the doorway. I try to ignore him but he walks till he is standing directly behind me. Placing a hand on my shoulder he tries again. “Y/N, you need to get some rest. Or at least a shower.”
I shake my head as a sob builds in my throat.
“Please, shower at least. You still have his blood on your hands and your legs.” John B squeezes my shoulder, “I’ll stay here with him.”
Relenting, I nod my head in agreeing with John B. I will my legs to get up and he swiftly takes my place, not letting me change my mind to reclaim my seat. Slowly I make my way out but pause at the door to look back at JJ. Just one more peak at his face before I make my way to the shower.
On the sink one of the girls laid out some of their extra clothes for me to change into. A swirl of gratitude dances in my chest. It is the lightest I’ve felt since this terrible night started. Operating on autopilot, my hand turns on the water to the shower. I let it run to allow some time for it to warm up. Hot water here is hit or miss, but who can complain about running water.
Tearing off my clothes one piece at a time my eyes lock on to the red coating my hands and thighs. You still have his blood on your hands and your legs. I run my hands over each other in attempt to rub it off. Not hard or fast enough. My hands move faster, I press harder. I move to my thighs. Small pieces flake off but not enough to make a difference.
Tears patter against the tile floor breaking me out of my trance. I take deep breathes, 1…2…3… I count in my head. JJ is here, he is alive and he is going to wake up. Finally stepping in the shower the luke warm water cascades down my back and I can feel my muscles loosening. I quickly get to work on cleaning myself up and changing into the new set of clothes.
“He’s still asleep,” John B’s voice greets me without looking up from the ground.
John B gets up to leave and I quickly reclaim my seat. I feel his presence linger at the door, not quite ready to leave. I can’t blame him, I don’t want to leave him either. JJ is my best friend, and I know John B feels the same.
“Have you thought about telling him yet?” I don’t answer him, which is an answer in itself. “When he wakes up you should.”
His footstep leave toward the living room with the others. Tell JJ? Just so he can tell me I’m just his friend and that he still has a thing for Kie. To have him act weird around me for the rest of our lives. The thought of that happening is more unbearable than the idea of seeing him and Kie together and losing him in the process. At least I lose him because of her instead of losing him because of myself.
My eye lids grow heavy as the last bit of adrenaline seeps out of my system. Maybe I should lay down for a bit, just rest my eyes. I’ll wake up before JJ does. Slowly I climb onto the side of the bed that JJ is not on. I loop my fingers in with his as I rest my head against the pillow.
Prompt: Rafe has been clean for months but a call from your boyfriend has you both worried he will relapse.
Warning: Mention of drugs, anger, negative self-talk, Ward
The trees pass me in a blur as I speed down the road to the Cameron’s estate. Rafe’s choked up voice plays on repeat in my ear and I pray I get there in time. His dad is showing once again that Sarah is the preferred child and that no matter what Rafe does that will never change. All that boy wants is to make his father proud and he can’t get so much of a “good job” from him. Nothing else can make my blood boil faster than that man’s negligence toward his only son.
Rafe called and I could tell that something was wrong immediately. His voice was strained, showing that it is taking all his effort to not break. It didn’t take long for it to. Rafe could never keep anything from me, like the fact he’s worried about relapsing right now. Him being upset is more than enough to have me coming over, but my urgency is from the possibility of him falling to cocaine. I need to get there before he gives up the fight and heads over the Barry’s. He has been 6 months clean, and neither of us want him to throw it away.
My car barely stops before I grab the key and race inside. I don’t mind the weird glances from Rose and Ward in the kitchen. A little extra furry races through my veins before being replaced once again with concern. If I had more time, and wasn’t warned by Rafe against it, I would be fighting Ward right now in his own home. But my main priority is my boy that is hopefully still upstairs in his bedroom.
I knock twice but don’t wait for a response before opening the door. My eyes quickly trace each corner of the room before zeroing on him sitting on his bed. His legs hang off the bed and his head is in his hands. Rafe doesn’t move to acknowledge that I am here, he doesn’t move at all.
I slowly make my way to him, trying my best not to startle him. Getting down on my knees before him I whisper his name and Rafe’s eyes shoot toward mine. They are red and glisining, the surrounding skin swollen due to the salt from is tears. I feel a rip where my heart should be and fight back my own tears at the emotional pain and turmoil he is in. I bring my hand up to the side of his face and softly lean my forehead against his own.
“I’m here,” I whisper not trusting my voice. “I got you.”
Rafe’s fingers squeeze my hips as he slides to his knees before me. I repeat my words and he begins to aggressively shake his head against mine. I feel him slip away from me. Grabbing his head between my hands I force him to look at me. His eyebrows are scrunched together. Breathing uneven as he momentarily stops to stifle what I assume is a sob. There is a slight quiver of his bottom lip, but his eyes focus on mine and don’t move.
“Rafe baby,” I take a deep breath and calm my nerves. “I can’t imagine what you are feeling. He has no right to treat you the way he does.”
“I’m a fuck up.” His voice cracks.
“You are not a fuck up.” I brush my thumb against his cheek to catch a stray tear. “You are Rafe Cameron. You have a little sister who loves you. Guys that look up to you. There is a whole life in front of you. You’ll make mistakes, and it’s okay. It’s part of it. I do it too. But you are Rafe Cameron. Love of my life. You are not a fuck up.”
Rafe‘s eyes pierce mine for a moment longer before his body crashes into me. His head presses into my shoulder as that long-suppressed sob emerges. It shakes both of our bodies as we cling onto one another. Rafe wraps the entirety of his arms around me as mine are around his neck. One hand presses between his shoulder blades as my other runs through his hair.
The clipped sounds exploding from Rafe vibrate to my core and I struggle to fight off my own tears. A few escape and slide down my cheeks as I feel my heart die a little inside. No one deserves this kind of relationship with their father, and least of all Rafe. I think about how early he gets up in the mornings, working all day, getting to know the men, staying after hours to make sure everything is done. All for a man who barely glances in his general direction unless to scrutinize something he has done.
The rage from before is resurfacing and if it wasn’t for Rafe being in my arms, I would surely give Ward a piece of my mind. I take deep breaths as I turn myself to the situation at hand and focus on Rafe. Slowly his breathing begins to reduce to a more normal pace but his hold on me stays the same. We are in complete silence once his sobbing has subsided. Tears still greet my shoulder occasionally but I think we may be towards the end of it.
“Come on.” I whisper, my voice coarse. I clear my throat softly before speaking again. “Let’s get in bed.”
Rafe doesn’t say anything but just nods his head as he helps me move. We tear down the comforter in silence and slip in under the covers. I lay on my back while Rafe crawls into a ball, resting his head against my stomach. Immediately, I bring one hand to support his back as the other combs through his hair. Every once in a while I feel a soft moan vibrate against my stomach and a slight smile breaks across my lips. One of Rafes favorite things is head scratches. Every movie night it is inevitable. I love how it keeps him calm.
“I’m sorry.” Rafe sniffles. He is so quiet I almost didn’t hear him. Sorry? Why is he sorry?
“Why are you sorry babe?” Confusion laces my voice and I hope he actually tells me why.
“For making you feel like you had to come. You know… potentially relapsing.” Rafe loops an arm around the front of my waist and softly squeezes. “I’m supposed to be a man, your man. I should be stronger than this.”
Man up, Rafe. You’re going to be man of the house. You have to man up.
I accidently heard the end of a few disagreements between Ward and Rafe. Most of the time ending with Ward saying something about how Rafe needed to man up, stop being so soft, grow up. While I agreed and understood Ward being pissed when he had to pay off Barry. He shouldn’t have kicked Rafe out, he should have gotten him help. Hung up his pride and helped his son. It shouldn’t have just been me and the guys trying to help him get clean.
“Don’t you ever be sorry. I want you to call me.” I press him in closer to me and I continue to run my fingers through his hair. “It is okay to need someone. Please understand that. I love you so much.”
Prompt: You are dating Rafe after JJ cheated on you... but you're still a member of the pogues. A party and the boneyard makes tensions rise between everyone.
Rafe POV
Her head rests against Rafe’s chest as they soak up the last bit of the sun lounging on the Druthers. It has been a rare peaceful day and Rafe is thanking whatever higher power there is that she has become his saving grace. He just hates the way that it happened.
(Y/N) is originally a pogue, but it never mattered to Rafe no matter how hard he tried to deny it. Rafe never picked on her, only her friends. She became close with Sarah after saving whatever the latest sea creature was at the time. So she had been over a few times before Sarah started dating John B. Though it was the moment she stopped hiding behind the boys and found her voice, that Rafe has never stopped listening. He has been in a trance ever since. Her fire is what drew him in, but it is (Y/N)’s heart that melted his core. The only problem, she was JJ Maybank’s girl. “Was” being the operative word.
Rafe will never forget her tear stricken face, red eyes, and piercing sob from that night. It took everything in him to not beat that punk to a pulp. Thinking about it even now gets Rafe all riled up. He hates that she is still around JJ, she never left the group. Rafe understands they are her friends, but he doesn’t like it.
“Come on,” (Y/N) stirs, still half asleep. “You promised we would go to the party.”
“Right, the boneyard party. With the pogues.”
“Hey, I’m a pogue.” (Y/N) angles her face to look up at his with a teasing smile.
“You’re my pogue.” Rafe smiles and leans down to place a kiss on her forehead.
Yeah she is his pogue and he wouldn’t want it any other way. Any other party he would be excited to go. He loves parties with his girl, dancing the night away and playing drinking games. Tonight will be exactly like that, except he will have to see Maybank. I wonder if him and Kie have made it official yet, Rafe wonders to himself.
Your POV
The music can be heard from a mile away in Rafe’s truck. My arm wraps around his as his hand gently squeezes my thigh. I know he doesn’t want to be here. He is doing it for me and I love that he is willing to entertain me for a few hours. I won’t make him stay long. I want him to see that my friends can be cool, and I hope one day they can put away their bad blood and get along.
Years of pent-up anger at both groups has been baking as long as I can remember. If it wasn’t for becoming secret friends with Sarah years before she joined the group, I may have the same outlook on Rafe as the others. Can he be a jerk and annoying as hell? Yes, but he can be sweet and at times my friends can be no better. Things between the kooks and the pogues have been quiet lately, but I know Rafe has it for JJ. I can’t blame him, I did too before I accepted that JJ deciding to cheat had nothing to do with me and everything to do with him. If I could have wished for anything that if JJ had to cheat, I would have chosen for him to cheat with anyone else but Kie. It makes the tension in the group that much thicker.
“Relax,” I giggle. “We’ll make an appearance. Stay an hour, two tops. Then we can go off on our own.”
Rafe doesn’t say anything but I can see a hint of a smile at the corner of his lips. His thumb lightly brushes against my skin and I sense him starting to relax a bit. I just hope that tonight ends up being drama free.
The truck is parked and Rafe is on my side opening the door. I learned early on that I am not allowed out of the truck unless he opens my door for me. Made that mistake and he wouldn’t move from his spot till I got back in so he could do it properly. I thought it was annoying and egotistical, but now I find it sweet. JJ never did that for me when we were dating.
There are a lot of things that Rafe does that JJ never did. Aside from the whole cheating part, JJ was a fairly good boyfriend. He looked after me, was a good cuddler, made sure I had a good time. Being with Rafe though is so different. Sure he does look after me, kind of always has. We have the best time when together and I feel so safe in his arms. I’m not worried about a pretty blonde catching his eye. He is a complete gentleman making sure I am okay, respecting boundaries, going slow, being open. Something I did not expect is for him to communicate as well as he does. I guess once he knew I wasn’t going anywhere and that his feelings don’t scare me, he trusts me enough to talk about all the crap with his dad and if he is feeling insecure. He never freaks or overreacts when I have an issue with something.
“Hey boys!” I greet John B and Pope at the keg. I notice a small release of air leave Rafe’s chest at the realization JJ isn’t around yet.
“(Y/N) what up! I miss you at the chateau.” John B goes in for a hug and Rafe lets go of my waist to accommodate. The two shake hands after John B releases me. It is a simple gesture to an outsider, but with these two it means everything. John B is practically my brother and with him dating Sarah, and Rafe dating me, they both are trying to put in an effort.
“Here you two go.” Pope hands me and Rafe cups of beer that we gladly take.
A few drinks later, we depart for a dance near the fire. The music pulsates through my veins mixed with the alcohol and a nice buzz fills my senses. Rafe loops his arms around my waist and I pair mine around his neck. We sway to our own beat, not minding the people jumping around us. We are lost in our own world and we are the only two people who exist.
Rafe’s eyes peer into mine as we rest our foreheads against each other. His lids close and I do the same, focusing on his hold on me. Warmth swarms over my body originating from his touch. I can’t wrap it around my head that I am with Rafe Cameron and that he can make me feel like I’m on top of the world. I only hope I can make him feel the same, that is often one of my insecurities. One that Rafe knows about and tries to assure me that I am more than enough for him.
“You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me.” Rafe whispers in my ear and places a kiss on the tip of my nose. I swear he can read my mind.
Before I can say anything Rafe’s touch disappears from my body. I immediately open my eyes and find the back of a blonde standing between me and my boyfriend, JJ. The alcohol has me stumbling against the sand as I land against Rafe’s arm and he steadies me before putting my frame behind his. Always my protector.
Rafe makes his stand but waits to see what JJ plans to do first. He knows that if he threw the first punch I would be mad. All I want is peace. Except I would not ask him to hold back if JJ started it first. He promised me, and so far he has kept his promise.
“You got the money, the job, and now the girl.” JJ’s words spread through the dry air, and people are beginning to take notice of a potential scuffle. Tears sting my eyes. Why is he making it sound like it is my fault I left him?
“Well Rafe if you plan on dating (Y/N) I want to fill you in on a few things.” JJ takes a step forward and I can feel Rafe’s muscles tense beneath my hands. JJ begins to speak but his gaze falls to me. “She always has trouble falling asleep, and she likes to cuddle while under the sheets.” JJ sends a wink my way and whistles from the accumulating audience fill the air. “She loves pop songs and dancing, and bad trash TV. There’s still a few other thin-“
“She loves love notes and babies,” Rafe interrupts. “And likes giving gifts. She has a hard time accepting a good complement. She loves her whole family and all of her friends… not that they deserve it.”
I didn’t think it was possible for the air to get thicker than it has just now. JJ’s drunk eyes danced over me until Rafe unexpectedly interrupted. Both of our eyes cling to Rafe as he spoke but for two different reasons. My heart skips as Rafe reaches to grab my hand and gives it a light squeeze. I had no clue JJ was going to do something like this, but I am even more surprised at the fact Rafe has been paying attention this well. He continues to amaze me and all I want to do is kiss him.
“When she gives me her heart completely, I won’t break it like you did. (Y/N) is safe with me. I’ll stand by her side instead of sneaking off behind her back.” Rafe stares JJ down a few moments more before turning towards me.
His hands cup my cheeks and looks into my eyes silently asking if I’m okay. I nod to answer him and bring my hands up to rest against his wrists. Rafe places a soft but protective kiss against my forehead and whispers for us to go. Wrapping an arm around my shoulder, he pulls me in close and nods his head toward a stunned John B.
The walk to the car is silent. Rafe opens my door for me and waits for me to climb in before closing it. He quickly joins me in the driver’s seat but doesn’t start the car. Instead he turns towards me, he eyes furrowed as he contemplates what he is going to say.
“I’m sorry if I over stepped.” Rafe’s voice is a whisper. “I know you can handle yourself, but I couldn’t let him do that. Act like he still has claim over you, that he is the only one who can know you.”
“Hey, hey it’s okay. You did everything right.” I lean over and let my hand cup his cheek, bringing his gaze back to mine.
“I meant everything I said.” His beautiful orbs pierce mine. “I want you to know that. I’m in it for the long game. I love you (Y/N).”
His voice cracks and I can tell how scared he is to say that last part. We’ve only been dating a month but we have known each other for years. Staying the night with Sarah has usually ended up with late night talks with Rafe after she fell asleep. We are the unlikely duo but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
“I trust you.” I say and my face heats up with my smile. “I love you, Rafe.”
It takes a moment for the words to register in Rafe’s ears but once they do pure shock and adoration quickly take over his features. He leans in and gifts me with a soft but passionate kiss. All his love and vulnerability is wrapped in every movement he makes with me and I can already tell this is forever.
Prompt: Reader has bouncing between so many things in her life that is leaving her chronically exhausted. It hasn’t been too much of a problem until one afternoon. The only one that seems to notice is JJ.
Warnings: Near death experience
The blinding sun crinkles your eyes as you drive your way to the Chateau. Sweat beats down your entire body from the day working with your father. He is a construction worker with his own company, and you work with him during the summer for some spending money. Even though he is your father, he still has you doing all the same heavy lifting as anyone else that works for him.
Normally every summer has been fine. You also work at a local gym on Figure 8 almost every day for a few hours. You’d work with your dad in the morning, work at the gym in the afternoon, and hangout or relax with your friends in the evening.
Though for some reason this summer your dad thinks any free time you have will be with him, unless you’re sleeping of course. You’ve had talks with him, and he always seems to be on the same page. That is until he starts telling you all that he needs help with and how you are going to come and help before and after the gym all week.
Luckily today ended up being a day he didn’t have much for you to do. Instead of wasting another second you made a beeline for your friends before he could change his mind. You love your dad, and the extra cash, but trying to keep up with work and maintaining your social life leaves very little room to just breathe.
Though you find yourself struggling to try. From the constant buzz of life that has become almost normal, you find yourself getting anxious anytime you are just laying around. Even if you are with your friends. Anytime you aren’t on the boat or helping with the newest endeavor of finding the gold, you feel like you should be doing something.
“Hey it’s my girl!” JJ shouts from the couch on the porch. Beer in hand.
“Hey babe.” You say with a smile after greeting him with a kiss. “Did you guys catch anything on the boat?”
“Not much but we did manage to save some leftovers for you,” your best friend John B offers. “It’s only been sitting out a few minutes.”
Feeling your stomach rumble, you assure him that you are hungry enough to eat it raw. Walking into the kitchen you let your smile faulter. You allow the wandering exhaustion to settle over you for a moment. Holding back the exhaustion is exhausting enough.
You feel the nice warm water wash your hands of drywall dust, paint, and sweat. Heading over to the counter you find your plate and grab a fork before rejoining the boys. Kie apparently has to work tonight since she was out all day with the boys. Though she promised to come back over after her shift at The Wreck.
You take the empty seat next to JJ, and as you do an involuntary sigh escapes your lips. As you dig into your dinner you hope that the guys haven’t noticed. If they ask you if everything is okay, you’re afraid some tears of frustration and tiredness would break through. Instead you focus your attention on the food in front of you and the latest pointless debate between the boys. Before you know it, every last bite on the plate is gone.
“Hey lets go back out on the HSM Pogue!” John B excitedly gets up. “Sun is setting, nice night dip.”
Everyone excitedly agrees and you head into the spare bedroom to slip into your swimsuit. As you pull up your straps, completing your ensemble, there is a knock on the door. Without asking who it is, you tell them to come in. Only one person would want to come in and that is JJ. It is basically his room after all.
Closing the door behind him, JJ takes in the sight of you. The newly defined muscles on your arms and legs from the work with your dad. You can’t complain about the benefit of the job. Though when his eyes meet yours all you can see is concern.
“If you’d rather stay in and relax I’ll stay with you.” JJ offers you. An overwhelming sweep of adoration floods through your senses, but next comes the wave of anxiety. No, I can’t do nothing.
“It’s okay, we can go on the boat.” Your voice upbeat and convincing of the energy you do not contain. “I’m fine.”
Even as the last two words leave your lips, tears form behind your eyes. Thankfully the room is dark, no power on the Cut from the hurricane. Unconvinced, JJ nods and heads back out with the other two. You take two deep breathes as you clear your eyes and slow your now racing heart. With a quick nod at yourself in the mirror, you make your way out to the HSM Pogue.
The sound of the waves hitting against the boat is almost enough to pull you to sleep. That and the warmth of JJ’s arm around your waist. Leaning into him you find your eyes fluttering shut every few minutes. If this wasn’t the first time you’d physically seen everybody in days, you would have just stayed at the Chateau with JJ.
Situating yourself, you lean toward the cooler for a cold beer. Even though you know alcohol is a narcotic it just gives you something to do than think about how tired you are. From the corner of your eye you see JJ analyzing you. Aside from a beer here and there, you aren’t much of a drinker. It isn’t until you send him a smile that he drops his watchful gaze and smiles back.
“This looks like a good spot.” John B insists as he slows the boat to a stop and throws the anchor over.
The four of you jump into the cool water. The sudden alertness gifted by the water sends you through the break into the sky. Though as your body adjusts to its temperature the feeling of exhaustion returns.
JJ wraps his arms around you and peppers your face with kisses. Squealing, you try to pry him away from you but your efforts are futile. Taking your frame in his, JJ manages to throw you a few feet in the direction of Pope. Who of course fakes offence at the unseen attack. Water is thrashed around by each person until a full blown water war breaks out.
Swimming around to the boat, you take deep breathes as you watch the boys continue splashing around. You plan to hide out for a bit before climbing onto the boat and performing a cannon ball that will soak everyone. The splash to end all splashes. Not wanting to spoil the fun yet, you float on your back in the water.
You close your eyes and feel the cool water soak into your warm skin. The aches and pains from the day’s work unravel from your body. Dark clouds filter behind your eyelids as the sounds around you become more muffled. You know you should get up but you can’t will your body to move.
The water around you laps farther up your face, and within a few moments you’re completely submerged into the water. Making the mistake to breathe, a burning sensation fills your lungs and your body fights out of its own slumber. But you’ve already breathed in too much water and your body is still too exhausted to propel your body toward the surface.
**
Looking around JJ realizes that he hasn’t seen (Y/N) in a few minutes. He calls out (Y/N)’s name while circling around the boat. Giving up on swimming, JJ climbs up on the boat and surveys around the best he can in the dark.
Panic rises within JJ’s chest and his breathing becomes labored. JJ knew he should have suggested harder that you two stay at the Chateau. He could tell through (Y/N)’s eyes how exhausted she truly is. Just a few nights ago he went to surprise her at home. Crawled in through her window with a big bag of snacks and drinks that will keep her up well into the night. However, the moment JJ wrapped his arms around her, (Y/N) was knocked out cold.
With his shaking hands, JJ grabs for a flashlight and shines it on the water. JJ knows he won’t be able to see anything but he can’t think straight. Just before he is ready to radio for help he sees a bubble rise to his right.
Not wasting any time, JJ dives into the water. His eyes spot (Y/N) a few feet down from him, unmoving. A shot of ice cold fear radiates through his body as he fights his limbs to move him toward (Y/N). JJ wraps his arms around her waist and propels his legs to break the surface above.
“HELP!!” JJ screams to John B and Pope. “HELP!!”
The guys hear him and turn to face his panic-stricken face. Realizing that (Y/N) is in JJ’s arms, the guys spring into action. John B gets onto the boat while Pope joins JJ and lifts (Y/N)’s limp body. JJ grabs onto the boat and pulls his body up and is quickly joined by Pope.
“Tell me how to do CPR!” JJ frantically shouts to Pope.
“You think I know?”
“You’re the fucking genius,” JJ lays you flat on your back, “so help me goddammit! I can’t lose her!”
“Okay okay!” Pope presses his fingers against his temple as he thinks about what to do. “Chest compressions! Two sets of 30 and then mouth to mouth. Check for breathing and then start over!”
JJ places his hands over (Y/N)’s chest and begins to press up and down. His actions start off timid, afraid that he will hurt her but feverishly picks up when he sees there is no change. Lowering his mouth to (Y/N)’s, JJ breathes air past her lips and sees her chest rise and fall. JJ can’t believe that only moments ago the last time he was this close the two of you were kissing, and now he is trying to breathe life into her.
I can’t lose her. I can’t lose her. She’s my everything. I can’t lose her…
JJ presses up and down (Y/N)’s chest to this mantra. Years ago, his mother left and his father became a raging drunk who is always on someone else’s meds. (Y/N) made him stable, made his life feel stable. Without her, JJ is scared he will end up just like his father. (Y/N) has showed him that there is more to life than the Outer Banks. They always talked about leaving one day, buying a house, running a business, and eventually starting their own family. Right now, all those happy plans are slipping past JJ’s fingertips along with (Y/N).
**
A burning rush of water flows up your throat as a coughing fit surges through your chest. Grabbing on to something nearby, you flip on your side to help expel the contents. Even as all the water leaves your system you keep coughing and feel as though you will never stop.
After what feels like forever, your coughing subsides and you feel two strong arms wrap around your torso. As you take in what happened, you feel your body begin to shake at the realization that you could have died. Tears flood your cheeks and fall against JJ’s bare shoulders. That’s when you register that JJ is shaking as well.
“JJ,” you say as your hand holds the back of his head, “I’m okay. It’s okay.”
JJ doesn’t speak but shakes his head against your skin. His head fits in the crook of your neck and you feel him breathing in your sent. It’s as if he doesn’t believe that you are awake and breathing.
“JJ look at me.” You whisper.
Reluctantly JJ’s eyes meet yours. You see his blood shot eyes and tear-stricken face. JJ leans his forehead against yours as his fingers run through your hair. A pit hits the bottom of your stomach as you think about how worried JJ was and how reckless you were.
“Next time,” JJ takes a deep breath as his voice catches, “can we just stay at the Chateau?”
“Yes, yes.” You sigh in relief.
JJ connects your lips with his. The kiss starts off soft and gentle, but JJ quickly turns it hungry and desperate. It’s as if he needs you instead of air. In this moment you make yourself a promise that you won’t over work yourself from now on. You’ve realized that you aren’t the only one that will become overwhelmed.
Prompt: Back in season 1 hurricane Agatha hits the Outer Banks. You are a pogue trying to enjoy your best summer with your friends. John B, Pope, and JJ (I know he didn’t in the show) decide to try surfing her waves. You’re worried about JJ because he isn’t answering his phone. You stop by his house even though you know he doesn’t like you coming over.
Pairing: JJ Maybank x reader
The wind blows violently against your hair as you run towards JJ’s house. JJ normally texts you back within minutes and he always answers your calls. You know the phone towers are probably down but nothing will put your mind at ease till you know that he isn’t out running around in the storm.
“JJ,” you whisper stepping into his house. You know all about his father and the last thing you want is to piss him off.
Walking into JJ’s room you find the bed empty and his surf board missing. Those damn boys! You think to yourself. They would rather risk their lives to get in a few waves than stay safe. You are going to kill them if the hurricane doesn’t do it first.
“Who’s here!?” JJ’s father shouts from somewhere in the house. “Don’t you dare think you can squat here through the storm!”
Heart racing in your chest, you try to calm down and think of what to do. JJ has a window in his room but it hasn’t been opened in years. He hates using it as a route of escape because it squeaks up a storm. Though maybe the real storm will be enough to overpower its noise. You make a break for it and attempt to lift the window up enough to climb out.
A hand wraps around your ankle and pulls you from the window. Flipping over you come face-to-face with your boyfriend’s drunk father. Due to circumstances you two have barely interacted, it’s possible he has no clue who you are. A fact that becomes very much apparent when you feel a cool sting against the side of your face. Slightly dazed, you try and recall JJ’s manic ramblings about getting the upper hand on an attacker.
You collide your free heel to the side of his knee. His grip on you loosens enough to wiggle yourself free. You forget about the window and head straight for the front door. Making your way to your car, you start it up and head the course toward the Chateau. The pain begins to subside in your cheek but his dad sure knows how to throw a punch. Luckily you don’t think he collided with your jaw, so it’s not broken. Hopefully JJ won’t be too mad that you showed up there.
Finally reaching the Chateau you see three bodies making their way back into the house. You sigh in relief seeing that they are all safe. But soon that relief is replaced with rage that they are that stupid. You march yourself up to the house and wait for them to join you.
“What the hell where you guys thinking?” You semi-shout as you hear the door open. “You could have been killed. JJ I have been looking all over for you!”
“Hey hey, babe.” JJ tries to calm you down. “We are fine, you don’t-“
He stops mid-sentence as he takes a few steps closer. The skin around your cheek has already started to bruise over and become tender. You wince as his fingers lightly graze over your skin. Looking into his eyes you can see that his are glossed over in building tears.
“Y/N,” JJ’s voice is very low and quiet. “Did you go to my house?”
You didn’t respond and averted your gaze, but confirming all the same. Backing away from you, JJ throws an empty beer bottle across the room and lets out a painful cry. JJ leans himself against the wall and takes deep breaths to calm down.
“Did he hurt you anywhere else?” JJ’s voice is calmer than you’d expect.
“No,” you answer immediately. “I am really sorry JJ.”
Warm salty tears fall down your face. A sob escapes your lips as you feel a sting from your tears graze over your swollen cheek. Two sturdy arms wrap around your torso. Even when you can’t see, you know they belong to JJ. You repeat that you are sorry over and over through your sobs.
“Don’t you dare be sorry.” JJ whispers into your ear. “Please baby. It’s not your fault, it’s mine. I am so sorry.”
JJ picks you up and carries you into the spare bedroom. You are grateful to be away from the awkward gaze of John B and Pope. You are close with both of them but you’ve always been more comfortable with JJ even before you started dating.
He lays you down on the bed and slides next to you. Placing a kiss to your forehead, JJ tells you he will be back in a moment. As quickly as he leaves, JJ is already back with a bag of frozen peas. JJ slightly presses them to your bruised cheek. Biting your lip, you try to suppress a sob but there is no luck. It escapes pass your lips like those before but soon the cool bag begins its soothing magic.
JJ resumes his previous position next to you on the bed and pulls your body close to his. You feel his fingers brush through the top of your hair in soothing strokes. His legs tangle with yours as he places soft kisses on the tip of your nose. You know that JJ is blaming himself for this and you hate it. This is all your fault. You should have known he would avoid home at all cost. Though you know that if you bring it up again JJ won’t listen and continue to blame himself.
“I remembered what you told me.” Your voice is so quiet as sleep begins to take over your senses. “I remembered about what you said about how to hit the knees if the ankle isn’t accessible.”
“I’m sure you did great baby,” JJ looks down at you with a lazy grin.
You know that it will take a little while for you and JJ to come to terms about what happened tonight. From all of JJ’s injuries and stories about his father you knew the man was nothing good. Though hearing about it and experiencing it are two very different things. You managed to get away without too many hits but you know that JJ is not so lucky. It takes weeks before you stop immediately crying at the sight of any discoloration of his skin. JJ tries to tell you it barely hurts but you know that is total bullshit. Only good thing that came out of this is that JJ wants to teach you more about how to defend yourself. He always wants to be there to protect you but he knows now that won’t always be the case, and he is so proud of how well you can handle yourself.
Summary: Steve has a secret... until suddenly he doesn't. Steve x Single Mom!Reader
Warnings: canon typical violence, probably some cursing
Word Count: 4349
a/n: I really fell in love with this idea. I think I dreamt it, but honestly I'm not sure. You can visualize Lily anyway you'd like, I just chose this picture bc it's cute.
Masterlist
"Ninety-nine, One hundred." Lily jumped out of the closet, ready to follow your instructions. She checked the phone, just like you said, but it was broken in the fight.
Instead, she packed her backpack with anything she thought she could need in an emergency and left.
She walked confidently through your apartment door, down the stairs, and to the subway stop. Maybe it was this confidence that lead the adults surrounding her to leave her be, or maybe it was just the fact she was in New York City and passerby couldn't be bothered.
Either way, she successfully made it to the station before anyone questioned her. When one of the transit employees asked her where her parents were, she replied with the only thing she thought would confuse them and allow her to continue on her journey.
"My daddy died when I was a baby, but mommy says he's always with me in here." She put her little hand over her heart, staring wide eyed at the woman helping her. The woman turned to a colleague, unsure of how to respond, and Lily made her escape.
She quickly pulled her mom's subway card from her pocket, scanned it, and walked through the barricade. By the time the employee turned back to her, Lily was already lost in the crowd.
She followed what she remembered from Steve's emergency instructions to the best of her ability, getting on the orange line train and taking it until Avengers Tower was announced as the next stop.
From there, she traveled with the crowd. She followed tourists, sticking close to other groups, pretending to be part of different families as she approached the tower. Despite never being there, Lily recognized the building.
With all of the remaining confidence in her six-year-old self, she walked through the doors straight to the information desk. Unfortunately, she was not immediately noticed by the receptionist. It took three very polite renditions of "excuse me, please" for the woman to finally realize there was indeed someone speaking to her.
"Can I help you?" The woman looked behind her, expecting a parent or guardian. "Where are your parents?"
"That's why I'm here. Stevie said to come here if there was ever an emergency." Lily replied as evenly as she could. The adrenaline from the situation was wearing off, and her emotions were beginning to get the better of her.
"Stevie?" The woman replied, utterly flabbergasted by the child in front of her.
"He said to tell you the emergency code. He made it my birthday so I wouldn't forget. 10112017" Lily had tears in her eyes as she continued. "You have to type it in so he can help my mom!"
After a few seconds of shock, the receptionist typed the code into the Stark Enterprises emergency alert system. She clearly didn't expect anything serious to happen, but she figured avoiding a full scale meltdown from the little girl in front of her would be best.
At first, nothing happened. Lily looked at the receptionist, the receptionist looked at Lily, and everyone else continued about their day.
But then, just as the receptionist was about to ask Lily for her name and if she knew how to contact a guardian, every Avenger in the tower came running into the lobby.
-
"Hey, Wanda. Vision." Steve greeted the two as he made his way toward the fridge, ready to refuel after training. Bucky, Sam, and Nat were quick to enter after him, coming from the same training session.
"I'm making sweet potato toast, anyone want some?" Steve took out the cookbook Tony had given him as a joke last Christmas, already flipping to the familiar page to look at various topping combinations.
Each team member replied, listing various reasons as to why they wanted to avoid eating more sweet potatoes. It seemed Steve was on a kick, but everyone else was sick of them.
"Suit yourselves." He laughed, already scrubbing the root vegetable to dispose of the dirt. He followed the steps in the book, still reliant on the instructions despite having made the meal- or a variation- dozens of times.
"Still reading the steps, Capsicle?" Tony shook his head, pouring himself a glass of cranberry juice.
"I just need to make sure I do it right." Steve replied, unphased by the teasing remark. No matter how long he spends trying to catch up to the modern world, Steve will never feel confident cooking.
Before Tony could jump into his usual spiel about how Steve needs to find a girlfriend who will cook for him, Friday made an announcement.
"Mr. Stark, as per the Morgan Protocol, I am alerting you of an unaccompanied minor in the lobby."
The announcement from the Irish voice confused the room, all eyes turning to look at Tony. He replied to Friday before addressing their stares.
"Any idea who it is?" His gaze briefly flickered to the ceiling while he awaited a response.
"Running facial recognition as we speak. Nobody matching her description was reported missing."
Tony attempted to leave, but he was bombarded with the same question from each Avenger present.
"The Morgan Protocol?" Steve's voice could be heard above the rest, so used to commanding the room.
"Yep. I put it in place when Morgan was born. If there's ever an unaccompanied minor in the Tower, Friday alerts me. You've got no idea how many kids will come here just for a chance to meet us." Tony replied casually, trying to avoid any heartwarming speeches.
Sam opened his mouth to reply when Friday chimed in again. "Facial recognition failed. Should I have the child escorted upstairs?"
Suddenly, a warning alarm accompanied by flashing red lights began to sound throughout the residential area of the tower.
"Tony, what the hell?" Nat yelled over the noise. The entire team was covering their ears, glaring at Tony for the suspected glitch.
"Friday, cut the alarm." Tony sighed, figuring there was a glitch in his newest security measure for the families of those on the team.
"The Family Emergency Alarm was triggered via manual code input." Friday replied. "It was entered on device 7114 in main reception."
"Which code triggered the alarm? Who gave the code?" The room was tense as they awaited the response. It could have been an accident. Someone typed the wrong code into the alert system. It's not unheard of.
"The code was 10112017. Captain Rogers' code." The majority of eyebrows furrowed while Steve's heart plummeted. "It appears the child gave the code."
Without waiting for anymore information, Steve ran from the room. He was down four floors before anyone else entered the staircase.
"Steve? What the hell?" Bucky called after him, the other Avengers also sprinting down the stairs. When their Captain panics, the team follows.
Steve ignored the pleas for him to explain, instead focusing on reaching the lobby. The child must be Lilly and if she's unaccompanied, than where were you?
-
"What the fu-" The receptionist cut herself off, remembering Lily was still standing in front of her. Although the swear may have been warranted.
Captain America himself was sprinting through the lobby, the other Avengers following rapidly behind him.
"Lily!" He breathed a sigh of relief to see her uninjured, immediately falling to his knees and pulling her into a massive hug.
Whether it was the stress of the days earlier events finally catching up to her, or the sight of Steve in such a flustered state didn't matter. Lily couldn't control her emotions anymore, instantly bursting into tears.
"Oh, sweetheart. It's okay. You're okay." Steve reassured her, gently swaying side to side while rubbing circles on her back.
"No! No, it- it's no-not." She sobbed, trying to explain but struggling through the tears.
The spectacle of Steve Rogers consoling a sobbing child in the middle of the lobby did not go unnoticed by agents or guests alike. A crowd was beginning to form, all eyes flickering between the unknown child, Steve, and the rest of the Avengers.
"Why don't we move this upstairs?" Sam suggested, already feeling boxed in by the crowd. He and Bucky cleared a path to the elevator, Nat guiding Steve by the elbow as he continued to whisper to Lily, trying to slow her tears.
The elevator ride was awkward to say the least. Steve paid no attention to anyone other than Lily, leaving the rest of the group to exchange eye contact in an attempt to figure out what the hell was going on. Who was the kid? Why did she know Steve's Family Emergency Code?
Nobody dared to question him while he was still focused on Lily. Instead, they dutilly followed him back to the kitchen, watching as he set her on a stool and gave her a glass of water.
She calmed down relatively quickly for a six-year-old. A few sips of water and a couple of minutes following Steve's breathing and she could speak normally again.
"What happened? Where's Y/N?" Steve questioned softly, still oblivious to the multitude of stares coming from his friends.
"She was taken..." Lily whispered, eyes wide and already filling with tears again. "I did what you said! The plan you told mommy to follow if she was ever in danger! I got on the train and came to the tower and gave the nice lady the code and waited for you!" She spoke the words in one breath, nervous hands flying in any direction she could achieve.
"Got on the train?" Tony mouthed to Nat, eyes wide. Just the idea of such a small child travelling alone through New York's Public transportation scared him.
"Taken?" Steve questioned the word, throat tight. This was exactly what he was trying to avoid by keeping his relationship a secret.
Lily nodded her head rapidly, not stopping until Steve cupped her face in his hands.
"Lily, I need you to breath, sweetheart." He spoke softly in an attempt to ease her nerves. "My friends and I, we're going to find your mom, okay?"
"Stevie, I'm scared." She shrunk in on herself, making her 3 foot frame appear even smaller.
"I know, but you know who we are, right?" He gestured behind him, eyes still focused on Lily as she nodded.
"Avengers. Heroes." She listed the two words, one right after the other.
"Exactly, and we are going to find the bad people who took your mom and get her back. I need your help though. Can you do that? Can you be a hero?" Steve felt his heart clench as he thought about what he was about to ask.
Lily nodded again, although much calmer than before.
"That's good. I need you to tell me everything you remember." Steve cringed internally at making her relive the events that clearly traumatized her, but he saw no other choice. He needed the information only she had.
Lily took a deep breath, preparing to tell the story of the afternoon's events.
-
"Mommy!" Lily abandoned the toys she was playing with in favor of jumping into her mother's arms.
"Hi baby." You cooed, graciously hugging your child. "Thanks, Hannah." You gave the teenager her payment for babysitting, waving goodbye as she left your apartment to return to her own up one floor. "What do you want for dinner?" You asked your little girl, grinning when her eyes lit up.
"Chicken nuggets!" Lily bounced with joy, excited for you to be home from the store.
"Okay, sweet pea. Clean up your toys and then you can help me with dinner." You set her on the ground, watching as she ran to clean everything up.
Your apartment was small, but it was well kept. Living in New York, afterall, didn't allow for much space. You and Lily managed to keep everything organized. If you didn't go into Lily's room, it almost looked as if no child lived their at all. Lily always kept her toys in the storage bin in the living room, or neatly organized in her own room.
She closed the lid to the bin after throwing the last of the toys inside before running to join you in the kitchen. Lily got to work, dutifully washing her hands so she could help with the food.
The two of you laughed and sang as you cut the chicken into small pieces for Lily to dip into egg and then breadcrumbs. She shook the shake and bake container like a maraca, smiling wide.
Just as you put the tray of chicken in the oven and pulled out a salad kit, the sound of car doors slamming drew your attention to the window. One glance outside was enough to put you on edge.
There were three SUVs, each holding two to four people all dressed in black, guns on their hips.
"Lily, I need you to hide, okay? Don't come out unless I tell you to or it's been quiet for 100 seconds. Then call Steve." You ushered her into her room, quickly hiding her behind the clothes hanging in her closet.
"Mommy!" She called before you could close the door, eyes wide with fear and confusion.
"It's okay, sweetheart. Just call Steve if I'm not here, okay?" The six-year-old nodded, knowing by the look on your face that something bad was going to happen.
She listened from the closet as a loud banging came from the front door. A loud crash could be heard, likely the door being kicked in.
You fought off the attackers as best you could with your limited self-defense knowledge, but it didn't take long for the large group to overpower you.
"You won't get away with this. He'll find you." Lily focused on the sound of your voice, trying to stay quiet.
"Let him. Cut off one head, two more grow in its place. Hail Hydra." A voice Lily didn't recognize replied. The sounds of retreating footsteps slowly faded away, and Lily began counting.
-
"And I counted, but the phone was broken! So I followed the emergency plan you made with mommy when you thought I was sleeping." Lily finished her story, energy fading fast.
"Hydra? You're sure that's what the man said?" Steve asked, trying to remain calm in front of Lily.
"Yes. And the thing about the heads. I remember that 'cause it's gross." She stuck her tongue out, reminding everyone of just how young she actually is. She followed the grimace with a yawn, balling her hands into fists to rub her eyes.
"Are you hungry?" Steve asked, concerned for her wellbeing. She nodded, still rubbing her eyes. Tony quickly supplied one of Morgan's fancy lunchables, already having peeled the plastic off.
Lily thanked him politely before quickly eating everything, her dinner was interrupted after all. Not even five minutes after she ate, Lily was asleep in Steve's arms. He carried her down the hall to his room, gently tucking her into his bed.
He spared a moment to observe her sleeping form, heart clenching at the idea of losing her or you. The second he was back in the living room, all eyes were on him. Well, all but two pairs who were somehow missing.
"Bucky and Nat are on the way to the garage. Send them the address and they'll check out her apartment." Tony supplied, figuring that would be his first question.
Steve nodded, pulling out his phone to text Nat the address.
"She wears a bracelet with a tracker in it, if we're lucky it will still be active." Steve supplied, already pulling up the software on his computer. Tony showed him how to use it in an attempt to convince him to put himself out there and find a partner. He just didn't know it worked.
As the software loaded, Steve finally looked up at his teammates. No, his friends, family even. He could see the questions in their eyes, yet nobody was voicing them.
"Friday, can you conference in whichever car Bucky and Nat took?" Steve asked. Despite knowing it was probably a simple task to start a group phone call, Steve still turned to the AI for help with most technology related tasks.
"Did you find something already?" Bucky's voice could be heard on the other end, the faint sound of the GPS in the background. Steve did his best to ignore the hurt he could hear in the inflection of Bucky's voice.
"No, but I figured it'd be easier to explain everything once." Steve sighed. "I met Y/N in the park. Lily walked right in front of me while I was running, nearly knocked me over." He chuckled at the memory, remembering exactly how flustered he was when you insisted on getting him a new water bottle when his fell to the ground and cracked.
"How long ago?" Tony questioned, pulling Steve back into the present.
"Almost a year and a half." Steve wore a soft smile, happy to have had you in his life for so long. "She broke down my walls without even trying. I would meet her and Lily for ice cream, or to go to a bookstore. Normal things. Took me six weeks to officially ask her out."
"Why all the secrecy?" Nat questioned. She knew Steve was hiding something, but she didn't think it'd be this big.
"I wanted to keep them safe." His voice hardened. "You can all see how well that worked out. I never should have gotten involved. If something happens to her... Lily's already lost her father." Steve's throat tightened, the fear and stress at not knowing where you were eating away at him.
"Hey, don't talk like that. We'll find her." Sam encouraged him to remain positive. "Do you know the code for the tracker bracelet?" He gestured to the computer screen, where the software had finally loaded.
He typed in the 9 digit code, having memorized it before even giving you the bracelet. He also knew Lily's code, although she was currently safe and sound in his room.
The three seconds it took for the little red dot to appear on the screen were the longest of his life.
"She's in upstate, possible headed to Canada." He watched the light as it moved farther and farther away from him. Through the phone, blaring horns and screeching tires could be heard as Nat turned around.
"I've got a jet on the roof." Tony supplied, already moving to retrieve his gear. "It's smaller than the ones in the compound, but it'll do."
Steve jumped up, ready to join the fight when Sam pushed him back into his chair.
"If that little girl wakes up and you're not here, she'll panic." His eyes were sympathetic, but his tone was firm. "Sit this one out, Cap."
"Sam, I can't lose her." Steve was close to tears, eyes flickering between Sam and the hallway where Lily was sleeping.
"If Hydra knew about Y/N, they likely also knew it was a secret. They'll probably be expecting you, but not the cavalry." Wanda supplied, trying in vain to ease Steve's nerves. "They won't be prepared to fight all of us."
Steve nodded, knowing he couldn't leave Lily all alone. It broke his heart to watch his friends leave without him, but there's nobody he'd rather have fighting for him.
He watched the floor number above the elevator rise until it finally reached the roof. Despite the powerful engine of the jet, it couldn't be heard inside the building. Nobody outside would know it was even taking off if not for the lights.
He sighed, pushing off the wall and heading for his room. If he couldn't be with you, he would sit with Lily.
He gently opened and closed the door to his room, moving silently until he reached the chair by his bed. There was enough moonlight for him to see Lily's face. She looked so peaceful, something he was grateful for. Hopefully hiding in the closet was enough to shield her from too many nightmares.
He planted himself in the chair, eventually dozing off in the dark and near silent room.
-
"Stevie?" Lily poked his cheek, her favorite way to wake him up. "Stevie!" She called louder. He jolted, taking on a fighting stance before registering exactly where he was.
"Lily! Are you okay?" He questioned, scooping her up into his lap. She nodded, eyes wandering around the dimly lit room.
"Is mommy back?" Her voice was laced with fear and sadness, the emotions competing to see who would win.
Steve glanced at his phone, noticing a few messages. He opened them to read that you were indeed on the jet, although no mention of your condition beyond alive.
"Not yet, but my friends found her. She's coming back now. Do you want to wait for her on the roof?" Steve asked as he replied to the messages asking for a status report.
He watched as the tension visibly melted from her tiny body. "Can we get a snack first?"
Steve laughed, rising with Lily still in his arms. "Sure thing, peanut. What are you hungry for?"
"Ice cream!" She smiled, eyes questioning if he would let her get away with it.
"Just this once, I think it's okay to eat ice cream in the middle of the night." Steve whispered conspiratorially, heading for the kitchen. He grabbed two of Tony's specially ordered quarter pints of Ben and Jerry's.
After grabbing some spoons, he headed to the elevator to get up to the observation deck. Once they sat down, Steve looked at the flavors he grabbed.
"Do you want phish food or chocolate fudge brownie?" She squealed in excitement.
"Phish food!" He pulled off the lid, handing her a spoon and the small container before doing the same for himself. The two sat in a comfortable silence as they ate their ice cream and observed the city.
As the lights of an aircraft grew closer, both Steve and Lily leaned forward, eager to know if it was the jet.
"Mommy!" Lily cried, ice cream abandoned on the floor by the couch they were seated on. Steve's own ice cream fell to the ground as he scooped her up and waited for the jet to land.
The second it was safe to go out onto the landing pad, Steve was through the doors. The ramp into the jet lowered, and Tony was the first one out, gesturing for Steve to just wait a second.
You emerged, leaning on Bucky as you limped down the ramp. Steve's eyes scoured your body for injuries, but not finding anything other than the limp.
"Mommy!" You looked up, a smile growing immediately at the sight of Steve and Lily. She jumped from his arms, running to you as fast as her little legs would allow.
"Hi peanut! What are you doing up? It is way passed your bedtime." You questioned, lifting her into your arms, transferring more weight onto Bucky as you leaned further into him.
Steve stood frozen, the utter relief to see you uninjured and talking as if nothing happened jumpstarting his heart.
"Stevie gave me ice cream!" Everyone but Steve snickered, amused by how quickly Lily threw him under the bus.
"Wow, America's Golden Boy broke the rules?" You teased, eyes flickering between Lily and Steve.
He finally broke out of his trance, moving across the rook in three quick strides to scoop you and Lily into his arms. he held you both close to him, whispering about how happy he was to have you both with him.
"I met your friends." You stage whispered, laughing when the group of Avengers looked mildly guilty for eavesdropping.
"You did." Steve nodded, not caring that his secret was out now that he had you in his arms again.
"That's not fair! I didn't meet anyone." Lily huffed. "They just stared at me and then I fell asleep."
You and Steve laughed, promising her introductions in the morning.
"But don't we have to go home?" She looked between the two of you, a small pout forming at the idea of leaving.
"Move in with me." Steve blurted it out, ignoring his still present friends.
"Are you asking?" You teased, leaning more weight into his body as the exhaustion from the day caught up to you.
"I am. Asking. Both of you." Steve smiled shyly, eyes flickering between you and Lily.
"What do you say, Lils? Do you want to live here?" You asked, already knowing you'd love nothing more.
"Yes! There's ice cream, and lunchables, and the roof is so high!" She listed the limited information she knew about the tower, excitement pouring out of her.
"Good. Me too." You looked at Steve, eyes full of love.
"I love you so much." Steve pressed a soft kiss to your lips, laughing when Lily gagged.
"I love you too." You whispered back.
"Now, let's get you to the med bay to fix up your ankle." Steve gently set Lily on the ground, scooping you into his arms.
"I want to be carried!" Lily complained, still running on sugar.
"Lily, this is my best friend, Bucky. Can he carry you?" Steve gestured to his fellow super soldier. Lily eyed him suspiciously.
"Do you like chicken nuggets and ice cream?" Her eyes narrowed expectantly, one eyebrow raised. Bucky looked at Steve, brows furrowed. The blonde gestured for him to answer.
"I do." Bucky replied hesitantly.
"Okay! You can carry me." She jumped into his arms, already trusting him since he was Stevie's best friend.
The group of four set off toward the elevator, ignoring the remaining Avengers until after they pushed the button.
"The rest of you can come too." You supplied, eager to get to know them more.
"Before you ask, yes you can pester us with all the questions I know you've been holding back." Steve sighed.
There was a mad rush toward the elevator, everyone piling in as the doors closed. Tony chimed in with a question before the group descended even one floor.
"Did it really take him six weeks to ask you out?"
Prompt: The reader is the first one to offer up a hug for anyone that needs one, especially to her boyfriend JJ. Who of which notices this one day and tries to change this and is met with an unexpected reaction.
Warmings: Negative body image
Listening to Kie talk about the fight she just had with her mom, tears fall down your best friend’s face. You were hanging out with the guys at the Chateau when Kie barged in with steam coming out of her ears. It is the same fight as always. Her mother doesn’t approve of her choice in friends. The only one she seems to like is you but is still skeptical because you are a born kook choosing to be a pogue. It is a fight you are all too familiar with from your own mom.
“Aw Kie. I am so sorry.” You get up from beside JJ and wrap your arms around her warm sun-kissed skin. “If you want you can tell your mom you are staying at my place. My mom already things I am staying at yours. We can just chill here tonight.”
As if on cue you feel your phone buzz in your back pocket. The power is still out on this side of the island, but kook territory is fully functional again. You don’t think it is fair and you spend a great deal of time using as little technology as possible. The phone is an agreement you have with your mother. As long as you have it on you, you can remain off of house arrest and get to hang out with your friends. Your mom is even less of a fan of your friends than Kie’s mom.
Have fun tonight sweetie! I am happy to see you are hanging out with the right sort of people tonight. - Mom
You roll your eyes as a flame ignites all your repressed anger. Lately there have been so many things on your mind. Almost all of them because of your mom. She constantly gets on to you about your friends and most of all your boyfriend. She doesn’t seem to understand what is wrong with the kook boys from school. No matter how many times you explained to her about how awful they are she insist that they are still better than JJ. If only that was the only problem.
“Hey babe,” JJ’s voice breaks you from your thoughts. “Everything alright?”
“Yes,” you smile away your pained expression brewing below the surface. “I am perfect.”
A beautiful smile spread across JJ’s features. All your problems and insecurities are washed away by this one boy’s smile. You would give anything to make sure this smile stays at all times. He deserves unimaginable happiness.
Looping your arms around JJ’s neck, he responds immediately by placing his arms around your waist. You allow yourself to break his beautiful smile by lightly pressing your lips against his. You shiver despite it being 90 degrees Fahrenheit outside. JJ pulls your body in closer and your fingers twirl the hair at the nape of his neck. It has always been easy for the two of you to get lost with the other, despite the company.
“Ew gross.” Pope wines and Kie quickly joins in.
“I won’t stay the whole night if you two keep doing that.” Kie attempts to threaten but ultimately fails with her laughter.
The two of you rejoin the rest of the party as John B goes on about the treasure again. But JJ is only half listening. His eyes are trained on you the entire time, watching your movements. JJ knows that you tell him the majority of your problems at home. It is a rule you two have, no secrets when it comes to family drama. It had been your idea because you were scared the JJ would lose it from living with his father. But JJ is worried that you aren’t telling him everything due to the shit he deals with at home. That maybe some how you feel like your problems aren’t as important.
**
“Mom I’m home!” You shout from the door as you take off your shoes.
“In the kitchen! Did you have fun with Kieara?” You mother shouts back.
“Yeah! I’m going to go unpack and shower.”
Making your way up to your bedroom you quickly undress and hop into the warm shower. Feeling the water wash away the sweat from the night of no air conditioning. Normally you wouldn’t mind because in the morning you all usually go for a swim but the boys all had to work today. The plan is to meet up afterward and head out on the boat. Making the shower a little pointless but you don’t care. Your mother would prefer to keep the furniture spotless of any impurities.
Stepping out of the shower you search for your towel before realizing that you left it in your bedroom. Huffing in frustration you attempt to air dry as you run your fingers through your hair for any last remaining tangles. As the steam begins to clear from the room, you are better able to see yourself in the mirror. Instantly you wish the steam would come back as your mother’s comments flood through your mind.
“Be careful of what you eat (Y/N),” your mother sings. “You’ve started gaining some weight this last month. We all know that men like a women with a perfect figure.”
Your eyes fall on your arms. Then your stomach. And finally your thighs, which you are most insecure about. You’re whole life you have struggled with the way you look but since finding the pogues it hasn’t mattered as much. You know JJ loves you just the way that you are. Yet there is still a little voice inside your head telling you otherwise, your mother’s voice.
Feeling overwhelmed you make a break for your room. The cool air clings to your partially wet naked body as you fly down the hallway. Closing the door behind you, you grab for your robe and wrap it around your body. Making sure it is secure you head toward your drawer for your swimsuit but stop in your tracks as you find JJ sitting on your bed.
“I thought you were working till two today.” You say slightly out of breath.
“They let me off early and I thought I would surprise my girl.” JJ’s smirk does not let up. “Didn’t know I would get such a great welcome.”
You try to smile it off. All those thoughts you wanted to leave behind in the bathroom. If only water could wash this away as easily as it does sweat and dirt. If only life could be a bit more simple, for everyone. Apparently JJ notices your unease as his smirk slowly disappears from his lips. A more concerned and gentle expression paints itself across his face.
JJ notices your tear-filled eyes and flushed cheeks. Even from taking a shower they usually do not remain red for very long. He can even notice that your smile is slightly off. JJ has made it is job to keep a smile on your face and knows when they are real or not. It is hard to get passed him.
“Y/N what is wrong?” JJ slowly climbs off your bed. “Don’t say nothing because we know that isn’t true. We have that rule, remember?”
Walking slowly to you, JJ wraps his arms around you in a hug. The first hug in a long time that someone is giving you. Normally you are the ones giving hugs to others, to comfort them. For the first time in a very long time, you are receiving a hug. There is a reason for this. Not able to hold back any pent-up emotions, tears spill from your eyes like waterfalls. Cries and gasps for air escape your lips. The walls you have built up are collapsing all from a hug, JJ’s hug. The perfect hug.
You have no idea how long you have been crying but the slight headache from dehydration tells you a very long time. JJ lifts you up from the ground and lays your small frame on your bed. Without breaking his hold on you he situates his body next to yours. Now you lay partially on him, JJ’s arms still wrap around you rubbing small soothing circles over your robe.
Once you calm down enough you begin to tell him everything, and not once does JJ’s hold on you loosen. You tell him about your fights with your mom like Kie has with her mom. About how she ridicules you for having a pogue as a boyfriend and constantly introduces you to men that belong on the kook side of the island. That she has threatened to send you to boarding school for your senior year because according to her you are a wild child that needs discipline. Finally ending with how all you want to wear now are big baggy clothes because your mom has pulled at the ever so slow unraveling of a thread you have holding away your insecurities about your body.
JJ’s mind reels as he comprehends everything you tell him. He knew something was up but he had no idea how much you have been carrying around. Mentally he hits himself for not being more attentive or being distracted by too many other things. JJ can’t find the right words to say. What does one say about things that they can’t change for the person they love that is hurting? What does Y/N normally say to him?
“I love you (Y/N),” JJ whispers as he kisses your forehead. “Nothing can ever change that.”
These were the only words he could say. But from now on he makes a vow to himself to check in more to your needs. To hug you more often. A real hug, not one of those quick hugs from behind and spin you around types. Meaningful hugs. The type you give him any time he has gone home for a bit, or slightly seem off, or just simply to give one. JJ feels like there is so much power in your hugs. He always feels like you are helping him hold himself together through your contact. That is what he wants to do for you. Even though he can’t do much to help with you and your mom, he wants to help you feel like things are holding together.
Prompt: While Tony is fighting off Thanos, you find out that you are pregnant. With Tony getting back in terrible shape, you hold off on revealing your news until it catches up with you.
I watch as Tony disappears into the air to follow Peter. A big circular monstrosity floats into the sky and I can tell that it is their target. Hopefully this won’t take too long, Tony is supposed to be in a sense ‘retired.’ Sure he still helps out, but ever since the Avengers broke up Tony has remained on the back burner after the initial months following the event.
Back in black, I hit the sack
I’ve been too long…
“Tony?” I realize my voice comes out more panicky than I meant to. I take a deep breath and try again. “What is going on?”
“I’m going to space.”
The words hit me in the gut harder than any blow I’ve encountered in my life. Already tears are forming in my eyes and I quickly try to blink them away. He has to come back, he promised he wasn’t going to do this big stuff anymore. We just got married, we’ve been talking about having kids. It can’t be over before we even try to start.
“(Y/N) I love you.” He’s scared and his voice shows it.
“I love you.” I squeak out, but when I pull the phone from my ear it says the call has been disconnected. There is a chance he didn’t hear me. No, no he heard me. He knows that I love him, and he’ll be back so I can tell him that for the rest of my life.
Taking in a few more deep breathes, I manage to get my breathing under control. Bruce mumbles something about making a call and disappears further into the park. I might as well go and try to see if there is anyone down here that I can help, while Tony is up there.
Walking only a few steps forward, a wave of nausea rolls through my stomach. I try to breathe it down but it doesn’t work. A more intense wave pierces through me as I run for the nearest trash can. I barely make it as I release what was left of my breakfast. The combined smell from the trash and my vomit are not helping. Being sure that I am empty I propel my shaky limbs to a bench nearby.
I don’t know what is wrong with me. I’ve been a little more tired recently but it’s nothing that I haven’t been able to handle. But I have never thrown up from nerves. In the past I have always been a pacer. I’ve walked tunnels in our floors when Tony has been on a mission. This is new, unless…
I count backwards to my last menstrual cycle. I do it a second time, a third time. Surely I am counting wrong, but no matter how many times I do it, I get the same result. I am very late this month, by two weeks. For some this may be normal, but not for me. I have never been later than by a few days.
Quickly I find a store, grab what I need and practically run home. I’m in autopilot. I’ve taken the test but I don’t remember it. All I can do is stare at my reflection for any noticeable changes. Aside from the slight exhaustion in my eyes, I find none. I glance at the timer and see I still have time before the results are ready. My fingers grab for my toothbrush and attempt to scrub away what is left over from the park.
Ding ding…. Ding ding…
I click the timer off but refrain from glancing at the stick on the counter. What do I do if it is positive? Will I be crushed if it is negative? Tony and I have only talked about kids a few times, but neither of us have clearly said that we are officially trying now.
Taking a deep breath, I allow my eyes to peak at the result. Two pink lines shine back up at me. I’m pregnant. Tony and I are having a baby. Tears stream down my cheeks but the brightest smile looks back at me from the bathroom mirror. I’m pregnant. Tony and I are having a baby. I’m going to be a mom; he’s going to be a dad.
My hand shoots for my phone and I quickly dial Tony. An automated voice tells me that he is out of range. I scoff, of course space is out of range. Aliens couldn’t have picked a worse time. Just as I go to put my phone away, it beings to ring. I answer it immediately.
“Tony!” I shout. “Tony is that you?”
“(Y/N), it’s Nat.” My old friend’s voice cuts into me and I try to recover. She explains how they are all heading to the Avengers headquarters upstate. “It’s, it’s looking bad. Thanos wants to erase half of the universe.”
Without a second thought I tell her I am on my way. Hanging up the phone, I grab my keys and make my way up the familiar roads. Half the universe? My hand instinctively hovers over my lower abdomen. This baby can’t grow up without its father. I can’t let it happen. Tony would make such an amazing father, and I want more than anything for him to get the chance.
The building comes into view and I feel nostalgia hug me into a parking spot. I haven’t been here since everyone went their separate ways. Suddenly a list of things I need to do crash into my consciousness. First thing being, making a doctor’s appointment to confirm the pregnancy. Without hesitating I call. I give my name and the reason for an appointment.
“Okay, looks like we had a cancellation for an appointment around noon that is available.” I glance at the dashboard clock in the car, 10:00 am. This has been the longest morning. I agree that the time would work. “We’ll see you at noon today, Mrs. Stark.”
“Thank you.” I say and then hang up the phone.
Making my way inside I find Steve, Nat, Sam, Wanda, and Vision with Bruce and Rhodey in the main area. We all exchange hellos and hugs, even Rhodey regardless of the fact he was over for dinner last night. It is crazy to think that this morning I woke up believing today was going to be as normal as yesterday was. I suppose it’s my fault for ever thinking the rest of my days with Tony would be considered normal.
Not so surprisingly, no one stands around and twiddles their thumbs in this group. They immediately get to work. I find myself wishing I could be more helpful than I am. I’ve been out of the game for way too long and before that I was just an agent from Shield. But when it comes to Vision willing to spare his life, I had to interject.
“Steve is right, Vision.” My hormones are starting to get the better of me. Tears are threatening to break through. We can’t lose any more people. We are supposed to save everyone. “There is another way. Please go to Wakanda. If they can’t do it, then we will revisit your idea.”
They can do it. Honestly, I don’t think there is much that Wakanda’s princess can’t do. She can preserve Vision so we can remove the stone and have Wanda destroy it. Thanos won’t be able to kill half the universe, and Tony will be safe. Tony will be safe. Tony will be safe.
Escaping from my thoughts, I find my hand protectively resting against my lower abdomen again. It’s funny how fast I am unconsciously thinking about this unborn child and already willing to protect it. Just a few hours ago I didn’t know the baby existed. A few hours ago I didn’t know that life as we knew it was at stake.
My gaze returns to the group around me and find someone already looking back. Wanda gives me a perplexed look and a head nod that means we’ll talk later. The debate goes on for a few moments more before everyone is in agreement to fly to Wakanda. Wanda catches me outside the room only moments later.
“Spill, something is up.” She gets right to the point. That’s what I love about Wanda. At first she would beat around the bush but in moments like these she doesn’t want to deal with all the fluffy pleasantries.
“I’m not sure it’s right to tell you first…” Which is true, but I’m hoping that this is obvious enough that she can just guess. I have no clue how long it will be before I get to tell Tony and I am bursting at the seams. Someone else besides me has to know and be excited for me.
Her eye brows rise as she releases a soft gasp of air. I’m enveloped in a hug that turns into a few soft jumps of excitement. I explain to her that I just found out and that I have a doctor’s appointment in about thirty minutes. Wanda assures me she won’t tell a soul, though I’m not sure that includes Vision or not. I don’t have enough time to question it because I really need to start making my way there.
One-by-one I hug and say good luck to each of my friends. More tears well up under my eyes from the realization that it has been so long since I’ve seen most of them. I hope they all come back, they have to. There is so much to catch up on and talk about. There have been so many regrets on both sides with how things went down. I want to make up for lost time, and I want this baby to have it’s big family of superheroes.
**
“Congratulations,” Dr. Middleton announces with a smile. “You are indeed pregnant. All your labs look great, very healthy. I’m going to get you started on prenatal vitamins to help make sure baby is getting all the nutrients it needs.”
Dr. Middleton walks me through the various things that are going to be happening the next few months. She gives me a nice folder with the information enclosed so I don’t have to worry about remembering it all. We talk about my diet, exercise, warning signs for trouble, and how I am feeling with all of this. By the time I leave, my brain is swarming with a ton of new information but more excited than ever.
Pulling out of the parking lot my mind is busy making baby name lists. Of course we won’t know for a while if it will be a boy or a girl. Should we wait till birth? That is what my parents did when they were having me. I had a very gender-neutral nursery and I love looking back at the photos. This is definitely something I need to talk to Tony about. Maybe he’ll find it fun.
Honking from behind brings me out of my day dreams of parenthood to find the car in front of me immobile with a green light. I wait a few moments but they obviously are not moving any time soon. Putting the car in park, I get out and walk up to their vehicle. The front seat is empty.
I whirl my head around in every angle to see which direction they went in but nothing. A woman screams to my left. I turn and find a man standing next to her slowly dissolving into dust. My eyes blink several times. I must be imagining things, or dreaming. I’ll wake up and find myself in my bed back home. But it continues.
People all around me are turning to dust, pieces of themselves floating through the air. My heart is hammering in my ears. The screams and cries around me become muffled, secondary to the fear running through my blood. This only means one thing, we lost. Thanos won.
My breathing quickens and shallows. No matter how many breathes I take it is not enough. What if Tony is one of the ones that turned to ash? How long will it take for half the world to disappear? I’m hyperventilating and I am floating. Not like the others around me. I still have a body, but I don’t feel tethered to it.
A/N: Little short but the last part will be longer
