Teigan

My safe space - rants to follow SW| 59kg CW|49kg GW| 46kg

[absoverfabs]

Anyone else have a safe food? Mines this salad 😍

At 114cals for the bowl I can lie to my family about eating big portions without making them suspicious!

100g lettuce

100g cherry tomatoes

50g carrots

50g cucumber

2 small satsumas

[absoverfabs]

I am so happy- I got help today!!

Story time:

So my mentor/head teacher at work Rhiannon (the one I posted about yesterday) said she’d email me our staff mental helpline and that’s when I knew it was time to open up!

I overheard yesterday her struggles with food and the unhealthy relationship she has and i finally thought I could talk to someone who actually gets it, someone I can trust.

So I did. I told her everything, from dealing with a disorder on and off for years, trying to get help but couldn’t, how I haven’t eaten for over 2 days and the all consuming thought that was food. I went into detail about how my immediate family drove this grasp for control and how I feel like an outsider, wanting to be skinny enough for someone to notice.

And she did, she’s the only one who noticed because she’s the same to an extent!

So now we have a plan, we are both going to call the helpline on Monday, we are going to sit with Netflix on away from all the other staff and kids during lunch and just chill, something I haven’t done in a long while.

The relief I fee is unreal, I feel physically and mentally lighter that I’m not the only one who has an unhealthy relationship with food. That I low key am proud I helped someone get the help they need by addressing my own problems.

Here’s to the future, a healthier future!!

[absoverfabs]

Rhiannon,

Thankyou for asking how I was today, thank you for showing concern. You said I look small and asked if I’d eaten today, you said you’d keep an eye on me.

I cannot tell you how much that means for you to show concern, no one shows concern for me.

And you ask why I’m not eating if I’m deliberately doing it to loose weight. My answe is yes, yes I look in the mirror and feel fat heck sometimes I can’t even look in the mirror. I’m also numb physically and emotionally, I don’t feel hunger I just feel empty all the time reguardless of the calories I’ve eaten. The extreme hunger makes me feel something and I like it.

I like the control, I enjoy the control. Keeping track of everything I eat it helps in this out of touch society.

But when you talked about weight and dress sizes and anorexia, bulemia and counting calories you didn’t see me in the other room curled up in a ball listening to everything you said. “All anorexics are skinny” something I’ll never forget.

But thank you for asking I know I lied and I really didn’t want to. I cannot tell you how much I wanted to break down and cry, tell you everything but I couldn’t. There were other people around they haven’t noticed the disgust I feel for myself but I couldn’t tell you something inside me said LIE LIE LIE!

And to your children who are concerned about you, I am too you deserve the world and all it can give you instead your at a job you don’t like working with people you can’t stand, and I’m sorry I wasn’t on your side earlier.

But thank you, your concern means so much to me I’ve been thinking about it for hours.

And as I go to sleep tonight, fasting yet again, I can’t help but thank you it means the world to me.

Thank you.

[perpetualdubiety]

L👀K AT THIS BABY !! ISNT SHE CUTE ?! SHES FUDGY AF TOO !!!

45 CAL MUG CAKE

This one’s chocolate & cinnamon flavour y’all.

This is a recipe I adapted from another recipe bc it was shit soo, here goes:

Ingredients:

1 tablespoon flour (28cal)

1/2 teaspoon baking powder (0cal)

1 teaspoon cacao powder (approx. 15cal, I used that raw Mayan superfood stuff but I’m sure any unsweetened cocoa powder would work)

1 teaspoon cinnamon (0cal, this wasn’t in the OG recipe but cinnamon has a laxative effect on me so bonus points for gettin muh bowels moooovin)

2 tablespoons zero cal sweetener (0cal)

1 tablespoon water (0cal, this was milk in the original recipe but milk is a ~fear food~ of mine so idfw milk)

Method:

Mix all the dry ingredients together (flour, baking powder, cacao powder, cinnamon, & sweetenerrr) and get rid of the floor/baking powder lumps cos they taste gross if they’re left in. It makes sort of a brown powder lookin thing.

Add the water and mix well until it’s smooooooooth af bby.

Microwave for 50 seconds.

Let it cool (it’s really fuckin hot) and enjoy! This is the most important step bitches.

This shit’s b o m b when you’re craving cake cos it’s just about the same texture and has a similar taste. You can of course add some vanilla extract if you wanna be ~fancy~, but I didn’t have any and I’m too lazy to go to the store lmao.

[angels-wrld]

low-cal meals✨

simple lunch salad! (calories per cup of ingredient)

pick a base:

-fresh spinach (~7 calories)

-iceberg lettuce (~8 calories)

-beet greens (~8 calories)

-swiss chard (~7 calories)

-watercress (~4 calories)

-romaine lettuce (~8 calories)

-butter lettuce (~5 calories)

-endives (~8 calories)

-arugula (~5 calories)

toppings:

-cherry tomatoes (~27 calories)

-asparagus (~27 calories)

-sliced apples (~57 calories)

-cauliflower (~28 calories)

-eggplant (~20 calories)

-green beans (~31 calories)

-sliced white mushrooms (~16 calories)

note: my calorie calculations are all estimates and may be off. the calories in the ingredients i use may differ from the ones other people use.

[thinterwonderland-deactivated20]

When I say I binged

I do not mean I sniffed a coconut for too long and now I’m 2 calories above my limit.

I mean I devoured bowl after bowl of pasta, cut my mouth on packet after packet of crisps, licked the crumbs that fell off cookie after cookie, ate mass amounts of frozen, raw, stale, gross ass food until it was spilling out my esophagus, all with a blank stare and a stomach and mind screaming at me to stop.

Binging is excessive, painful, compulsive eating that makes you feel like an embarrassing fat piece of shit.

It is not 4 more strawberries than you planned.

[very-thin-x]

THIS. FUCKING THIS. I’m tired of people calling 100 extra calories a binge. Hell, even 1000 extra calories isn’t a binge. Fucking 3000+ calories is a binge.

[the-notpossible-girl]

Apparently, technically any food eaten ‘uncontrollably’ is considered a binge.

When I go in for treatment (anorexia) and they ask me if I ‘binged’, they don’t only mean 3000+ extra cals you eat until you’re stuffed. They are asking me if I ate any food ‘uncontrollably’, in a way I felt I couldn’t resist or stop, grabbing for it, eaten with haste, promoting shameful and guilty feelings - even if it’s just a bowl of oatmeal or single-serve packet of microwave rice or a flapjack bar from work (yah my ‘binges’ when they happen are mostly carbs lol). Though my smallest binge was either 5 dried apricot slices, or when I had 2 chocolate covered dates (though I’ve also eaten those things mindfully, without it being a binge)

You can have a whole bunch of potatoes, and stuffing, sausages, turkey, dessert, snacks, god knows what and make yourself feel sick, and that could be a binge depending on how you felt and why you ate it. You can also eat that exact same amount of food on Christmas day with your family, making yourself feel sick, with it not being a binge at all, because it was purposeful, mindful and not uncontrollable - just indulgence.

At least, that’s what those medical professionals have explained to me.

When it comes to a ‘binge’ as an isolated incident, not about the calories, it’s about the mental state - like with eating disorders in general, it’s not about the numbers (weight, calories, etc), it’s about what’s going on underneath. When it comes to disorders in general, there’s obviously a difference - if you’re binging on small amounts of food because you’re otherwise obsessed with restricting, it’s a restrictive eating disorder. If you’re frequently binging on large amounts of food without being overly concerned about restricting, it’s BED. You can also have mixes of the two. Then bulimia is you binge and then throw up, etc as we all know. It’s not so cut and dry. It’s all intertwined.

‘Binging’ in a clinical setting refers to eating something in a way you felt you couldn’t help or resist, felt compulsive, medical professionals arn’t overly concerned with the calorie content of your food when treating EDs (unless you’re going through weight restoration). The only people so stubbornly concerned with calories and numbers and what they mean for us are us - the sufferers.

[flowersinsteadoforgans]

For the last comment that was amazingly explained and helpful as hell

[notmyurl420]

THANK YOU i have been so bothered by seeing posts like the original one all over the place, very well said

[starving-makes-me-feel-pretty]

Thank you for explaining it so well!! 

[skinny-skeleton-100]

I’ve been binging for 2 days now and I just need to get back on track

[positive-affirmation]

99 Distractions for when you need them

Drink a cup of hot tea

Wear soft, comfortable clothes

Take a bubble bath

Take a long shower

Get a massage

Get a manicure

Read a magazine

Wash your hair

Wrap up in a blanket

Give yourself a facial

Colour a colouring book

Play with Lego

Blow bubbles

Light candles

Read your favourite children’s book

Make a snack

Have a nap

Watch a funny video

Watch a good movie

Read a joke book

Watch the clouds go by

Play with a pet

Drive with the windows down

Braid your hair

Do a crossword puzzle

Research a topic

Complete a maze

Play a word game

Organise something

Listen to a podcast

Visit your local library

Plan something

Write in a journal

Talk a walk

Wash the dishes

Stretch

Dance around your room

Iron your clothes

Water your plants

Go to the park

Cook a nice meal

Hoover the house

Drive to a new part of town

Hula hoop

Practise your yoga

Play tennis

Rearrange your bedroom

Go for a swim

Run through the sprinkler

Wash your sheets

Ride a bike

Go bowling

Weed the garden

Call a friend

Make a gift for someone

Write a thank you note

Write a letter

Meet up with a friend

Visit a nursing home

Message someone you love

Invite someone to go shopping

Bake bread

Send an uplifting, kind anonymous message

Doodle

Invent something

Paint

Play an instrument

Make an instrument

Draw

Create a video

Draw yourself as a cartoon

Visit an art museum

Watch the buskers in town

Do a craft project

Try out a new recipe

Plan a new outfit

Decorate your room

Meditate

Pray

Listen to guided meditation

Download a new game

Level up in an old game

Take photographs

Compliment someone

Call your parents

Play with your siblings

Find new blogs to follow

Give yourself a pep talk

Moisturise

Tidy your room

Update your blog theme

Make a smoothie

Design your dream house

Paint your toenails

Clean your makeup brushes

Write a story

Clean the fridge

Organise your wardrobe

Watch a full season of a new show

[anyamee-deactivated20180415]

<3_<3 I needed diz

[recipesgoodies]

100 CALORIE CHOCOLATE MUG CAKE RECIPE

100 Calorie Chocolate Mug Cake Recipe made with common ingredients in 30 seconds! Soft, sweet & fudgy low-cal chocolate mug cake perfect for cravings.

Ingredients

2 tbsp. flour

1 ½ tbsp. no-calorie sweetener You can use sugar, but it adds calories

2 tsp. cocoa powder

¼ tsp. baking powder

Pinch of salt

2 tbsp. milk

1 tsp. oil

1 drop of vanilla extract

Instructions

Combine the flour, sweetener, cocoa powder, baking powder, and salt in the mug. Whisk gently until until no lumps remain. Stir in the milk, olive oil, and vanilla until smooth.

Bake in the microwave on high for 30-35 seconds.  Do not overcook or it will be rubbery! The cake will continue cooking for the next minute as it sets.

Cool 3-5 minutes. Serve with a sprinkle of powdered sugar, topped with berries & cream, a drizzle of chocolate sauce, etc.