THIRD GRADE - No one really notices me. Quiet, introverted, and observant of young egos and sugar-infused hyperactivity, I pause as my eyes lock on a SPITBALL torpedoing across my face. Time slows down, and a student a desk across from me shrieks as that paper bullet penetrates and ripples his cheeks. Time resumes. "Asshole!," he yells in disgust. It's chaotic, and class feels like a prison breakout scene with layers of toilet paper descending from the sky like confetti. That’s just me imagining. Minus the spitball fantasy, I was a quiet and different breed of student. I sure as hell wasn't popular, but I was the apple of my teacher's eye. She was an artist, and she held my artwork in high regard. By artwork, I’m referring to a stick figure upgrade. While other kids bashed “G.I. Joe” action figures against each other and vocalized simple sound effects, I created a live cinematic experience. I was the Michael Bay of action figure playtime, delivering mind-blowing action sequences. I twisted my action figures' movements in more positions than a Kama Sutra handbook, and if given more freedom, I could have possibly burned down the apartment. I lived in an imaginative moment. This early childhood manifestation transcended into my teens and early adulthood. I began to sketch more, and considered a field in Fine Arts. Even video games became a creative outlet (Duke Nukem!), allowing me to be a digital architect. I eventually majored in Advertising while minoring in Film, and during my final year of college I was introduced to the craft of acting. After graduation, I continued to study acting for over 6 years while working a day job. I was more indecisive than a woman picking a dress. Over a decade has gone by, and I’M STILL WORKING AT THE DAY JOB. That could be considered a cause for alarm, especially for someone like me who never imagined being in this position, undervalued and easily replaceable. In many ways I feel like my 3rd grade self, surrounded by people in a content position. However, I’m different in my aspirations and have utilized this job as more than a financial need. In fact, it’s been the primary reason I’ve been comfortable enough to stay here, and there hasn’t been a day that’s gone by where I’ve reminded myself that I’m more than this. A few years ago, I experienced a burst of creative energy while working on a youtube project. I began to embrace all my prior schooling, interests, natural instincts, and childhood manifestations. I added a new dimension to my creative journey in producing music and video editing. I educated myself further in sketch technique and found joy in painting. I began to connect with other artists. I’ve been extremely happy with my progress, and for the first time, I can confidently call myself an artist. It’s as if an alien hijacked my brain, and now I’ve WIRED with a creative mission. I never fully connected with this calling, and maybe I had to explore this artistry on my own terms to discover and genuinely enjoy my strengths. The seed was always planted, but now I’m watering the shit out of it.
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