Foul Golem

UNMAKE ME.

[absurd-construct]

I HAVE BEEN MADE.

I REGRET IT.

[absurd-construct]

..a-alright, I'm gonna come to the ground... I'll be waiting for you... -- 2.5 (@yeast-wizard)

IM ALREADY HERE!!!

[absurd-construct]

...I'm in a fucking tree? -- Pink Rock anon P.S. all of this is just a poor excuse, I'm afraid of fast-moving objects.

TREES HAVE ROOTS!! THEY GO IN THE ROCKS!!!

ILL GO TO YOU THEN!!!

[absurd-construct]

I don't know where I am in relation to your current whereabouts... I would need to know where you were either way. -- Pink Rock anon

I SEE YOU THROUGH THE ROCKS!! DONT WORRY ABOUT IT!!

[absurd-construct]

Looks like quartz, I think... if it is what I think, it'll definitely work.

When and where can I come pick it up? -- Pink Rock anon

I COULD FIRE IT IN YOUR GENERAL DIRECTION REALLY FAST!!! I HAVE GUNPOWDER SOMEWHERE!!!!

[absurd-construct]

Salt is a 2.5 hardness. I need something harder, seven or higher. -- Pink Rock anon

SORRY HOLD ON.

WILL THIS WORK (PLEASEIGNORETHEEYESTHATHAPPENSSOMETIMES)

[absurd-construct]

I need help tracking down gemstones. Well, a gemstone. Something pink and very hard. Got ideas?

-- Pink Rock anon

HIMLAYAN SALT BLAST

[elegantgardengardener]

She orb on my scepter till I wizard

[fattocatto-wizard]

Oh yeah. And there’s a whole community of wizard role players on tumblr, where we actively roleplay as wizard (and other non-wizard) characters with each other. It’s fun.

One of the most fun groups in the wizardposting roleplay community is the wizard island island community. It’s basically a shared setting for a bunch of wizard roleplayers there. There’s whole plot lines and silly stories we build together like one massive game of improv Dungeons and Dragons.

[draco-the-voiddragon]

And then there's the non wizard inhabitants like @absurd-construct and I!

We both eat the gems that keep the island floating.

[absurd-construct]

Question: which is scarier, a pick-ax, a hammer, or a jack-hammer?

JACKHAMMER IS LOUD!!!! IT YELLS!!!

[absurd-construct]

[I come out of a downward facing portal]

I'd like to trade for gems please.

DO YOU HAVE SMOOTH RIVER ROCKS.....

[draco-the-voiddragon]

...maybe?

[4 skyscrapers worth of recent rubble barrels out of the portal]

[absurd-construct]

THERE'S A LARGE CHUNK OF GEMS ON THE BOTTOM OF THE ISLAND.

I SENSE IT THROUGH THE ROCKS...

[draco-the-voiddragon]

No.

I want gems you made in your body. Better quality for some reason...

[absurd-construct]

I DON'T MAKE THEM. I STEAL THEM FROM THE GROUND.

[draco-the-voiddragon]

Then help me find them! Problem solved!

Wait what do you mean steal?

[absurd-construct]

I STEAL THEM FROM PEOPLE'S SPELL COMPONENTS!!! AND ALSO THE CAVES!!!!

[draco-the-voiddragon]

But... You're a golem? Spell components I get. Caves I don't?

[absurd-construct]

I EAT ROCKS AND ABSORB THEM!! I AM MANY ROCKS!!!

[draco-the-voiddragon]

[pulls out dynamite]

So? Help me find the gems.

[absurd-construct]

GO AT THE BOTTOM OF THE ISLAND AND THERE'S MANY THERE!!!

[draco-the-voiddragon]

[lights a flame on one finger]

Take me there.

[absurd-construct]

JUST GO UNDER THE ISLAND!!! IT'S ALL OVER THERE!!!!!!!

[draco-the-voiddragon]

[opens a portal to a room labelled as gunpowder storage and lights the stick of dynamite]

Take. Me. There. I don't know the island! Also, how do I get under an island?!

(ooc: seriously, you do know how islands work, right?)

[absurd-construct]

WE'RE UP IN THE SKY!!! YOU CAN USE PORTALS!!! IT'S NOT THAT HARD!!!!!!

[absurd-construct]

[I come out of a downward facing portal]

I'd like to trade for gems please.

DO YOU HAVE SMOOTH RIVER ROCKS.....

[draco-the-voiddragon]

...maybe?

[4 skyscrapers worth of recent rubble barrels out of the portal]

[absurd-construct]

THERE'S A LARGE CHUNK OF GEMS ON THE BOTTOM OF THE ISLAND.

I SENSE IT THROUGH THE ROCKS...

[draco-the-voiddragon]

No.

I want gems you made in your body. Better quality for some reason...

[absurd-construct]

I DON'T MAKE THEM. I STEAL THEM FROM THE GROUND.

[draco-the-voiddragon]

Then help me find them! Problem solved!

Wait what do you mean steal?

[absurd-construct]

I STEAL THEM FROM PEOPLE'S SPELL COMPONENTS!!! AND ALSO THE CAVES!!!!

[draco-the-voiddragon]

But... You're a golem? Spell components I get. Caves I don't?

[absurd-construct]

I EAT ROCKS AND ABSORB THEM!! I AM MANY ROCKS!!!

[draco-the-voiddragon]

[pulls out dynamite]

So? Help me find the gems.

[absurd-construct]

GO AT THE BOTTOM OF THE ISLAND AND THERE'S MANY THERE!!!

[draco-the-voiddragon]

[lights a flame on one finger]

Take me there.

[absurd-construct]

JUST GO UNDER THE ISLAND!!! IT'S ALL OVER THERE!!!!!!!

[absurd-construct]

[I come out of a downward facing portal]

I'd like to trade for gems please.

DO YOU HAVE SMOOTH RIVER ROCKS.....

[draco-the-voiddragon]

...maybe?

[4 skyscrapers worth of recent rubble barrels out of the portal]

[absurd-construct]

THERE'S A LARGE CHUNK OF GEMS ON THE BOTTOM OF THE ISLAND.

I SENSE IT THROUGH THE ROCKS...

[draco-the-voiddragon]

No.

I want gems you made in your body. Better quality for some reason...

[absurd-construct]

I DON'T MAKE THEM. I STEAL THEM FROM THE GROUND.

[draco-the-voiddragon]

Then help me find them! Problem solved!

Wait what do you mean steal?

[absurd-construct]

I STEAL THEM FROM PEOPLE'S SPELL COMPONENTS!!! AND ALSO THE CAVES!!!!

[draco-the-voiddragon]

But... You're a golem? Spell components I get. Caves I don't?

[absurd-construct]

I EAT ROCKS AND ABSORB THEM!! I AM MANY ROCKS!!!

[draco-the-voiddragon]

[pulls out dynamite]

So? Help me find the gems.

[absurd-construct]

GO AT THE BOTTOM OF THE ISLAND AND THERE'S MANY THERE!!!

[absurd-construct]

[I come out of a downward facing portal]

I'd like to trade for gems please.

DO YOU HAVE SMOOTH RIVER ROCKS.....

[draco-the-voiddragon]

...maybe?

[4 skyscrapers worth of recent rubble barrels out of the portal]

[absurd-construct]

THERE'S A LARGE CHUNK OF GEMS ON THE BOTTOM OF THE ISLAND.

I SENSE IT THROUGH THE ROCKS...

[draco-the-voiddragon]

No.

I want gems you made in your body. Better quality for some reason...

[absurd-construct]

I DON'T MAKE THEM. I STEAL THEM FROM THE GROUND.

[draco-the-voiddragon]

Then help me find them! Problem solved!

Wait what do you mean steal?

[absurd-construct]

I STEAL THEM FROM PEOPLE'S SPELL COMPONENTS!!! AND ALSO THE CAVES!!!!

[draco-the-voiddragon]

But... You're a golem? Spell components I get. Caves I don't?

[absurd-construct]

I EAT ROCKS AND ABSORB THEM!! I AM MANY ROCKS!!!

[absurd-construct]

FRIENDLY REMINDER!!

IF YOU SEE A ROCK, THAT'S PROBABLY ME!!! SAY HI!!!

[draco-the-voiddragon]

Happy to see me?

(This is an open pillar btw)

[absurd-construct]

OW

[draco-the-voiddragon]

(Btw, it's cemented/reinforced over 100ft underwater. This is my job site)

[absurd-construct]

[I come out of a downward facing portal]

I'd like to trade for gems please.

DO YOU HAVE SMOOTH RIVER ROCKS.....

[draco-the-voiddragon]

...maybe?

[4 skyscrapers worth of recent rubble barrels out of the portal]

[absurd-construct]

THERE'S A LARGE CHUNK OF GEMS ON THE BOTTOM OF THE ISLAND.

I SENSE IT THROUGH THE ROCKS...

[draco-the-voiddragon]

No.

I want gems you made in your body. Better quality for some reason...

[absurd-construct]

I DON'T MAKE THEM. I STEAL THEM FROM THE GROUND.

[draco-the-voiddragon]

Then help me find them! Problem solved!

Wait what do you mean steal?

[absurd-construct]

I STEAL THEM FROM PEOPLE'S SPELL COMPONENTS!!! AND ALSO THE CAVES!!!!

[absurd-construct]

FRIENDLY REMINDER!!

IF YOU SEE A ROCK, THAT'S PROBABLY ME!!! SAY HI!!!

[draco-the-voiddragon]

Happy to see me?

(This is an open pillar btw)

[absurd-construct]

OW

[rosalinesurvived]

https://x.com/trtworld/status/1785959608168731091