Tiny Edible Demons: bet you canât eat just one!
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Misplaced Lens Cap
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One Nice Bug Per Day
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Tiny Edible Demons: bet you canât eat just one!
Silly Guy from Edvard Munchâs âThe Screamâ!  Why did you think you could drive a car?  Youâre much too high-strung for that.  You should take public transit, Guy from Edvard Munchâs âThe Screamâ.
Remember, children: always keep your drapes closed when youâre changing clothes ... because Tabitha the Pube Plucker could be watching.
Everyone talks about the sleigh ride, the cookies, the happy children. Â No one talks about the less glamorous parts of the job.
âIn the event of an emergency, gather where the owls glare and await judgement.â
It wasnât the kiss from Judas, and knowing it had sealed his fate, that bothered Christ. Â It was the little tongue action at the end.
Hey kids! Â Do you like science? Â Well, hereâs an experiment. Â 1. Â Poke a pencil through a chocolate chip cookie. Â 2. Â Spin the cookie. Â 3. Â What did you learn? Â Who caresâeat the damn cookie, stupid!
As the evil Lucius von Ungezogenâs severed head re-entered the atmosphere and caught fire, the last lingering thought to echo through his dying brain was, âperhaps I should have made the failsafe and detonate buttons on the Volcano Exploder DIFFERENT COLORS...â
Hyperhidrosis Pals was a short-lived but critically acclaimed childrenâs show that put a happy, multiethnic face on the condition of excessive sweating.
The logical progression of the Man Bun / Hipster Beard combo
The ability to squirt urine from her tear ducts wasnât the greatest super power, but Vanessa thought sheâd give the whole âfight crimeâ thing a go before enrolling in community college.
âAnd now, youâll feel a momentary surge of blinding agony, during which you will beg fruitlessly for the sweet release of death. Â Open wide, please...â
Sing! Â Faster! Â Louder, you shits, JESUS CANâT HEAR YOU
âNumber Three burned my throat a little less than Number Two ... but I still have the ammonia smell of Number One in my nose. Â If we agree to taste the last one, will you agree to untie our arms and legs and let us go?â
Too embarrassed to get up and leave, Melvin waited patiently for the moon bats to return with his pants.
âYes, Iâd like to my a gynecological appointment for next Thursday SPIDER! AHHHH!!! (WHACK!) Sorry, are you still there? Â Two oâclock? Â Thatâs good, thank you.â
âThank you for calling the Human Orifice Pest Hotline.  For rectal termite colonization, press â1â˛.  For ocular centipede and millipede outbreaks, press â2â˛.  For nasal spider infestations, please stay on the line and your call will be answered in the order we received it...â