@absurdteenager - Tumblr Blog

3y3

uypt

l-ouroboros

Japan and beastiary!

thoughtkick

“She didn’t need to be saved. She needed to be found and appreciated for exactly who she was.”

— j. iron word

enchantedengland

Scenes from the Cotswolds (@chrishayward.uk IG)

is it weird I always wished to obtain your nudes?

found this in my inbox. what the heck

1.20.22

i had therapy today.

i have had very few healthy romantic relationships. my therapist and i talked about how abusive relationships can impact current relationships. are abusers always intentional? do they know what they are doing?

if they don’t (which i believe is was what happened in my case) HOW do you know if you’re the abuser? my therapist said that if there is self reflection, then the intentions are positive. when there is no change wanting to be made, or being made, the intentions are negative.

this mindset also implies that there is an abusive person in every relationship. in a healthy relationship, there is no abuser. this concept is honestly, really foreign to me. i unfortunately assume that all relationships have one abusive person.

in my relationship now, am i abusive?

the conclusion my therapist and i came to is that sometimes depression gets in the way of making a change. however, there is self reflection and conversation between partners and this is a trait of a healthy relationship.

i hope someone out there reads this, and realises that they aren’t alone in intrusive thoughts. especially in regards to post traumatic abusive relationship. you are not alone, you are loved.

-m

#ptsd #therapy #anxiety #depression #past abuse #supportive #im here if you need someone

macrocosm

her mossy layer grows over the sharp jagged rocks that could slice my skin open. her skin rips when she quakes in anger tearing apart what i have made for myself. individual snowflakes that the clouds produce, cover the muddy streets that we forced into her body. she longs for the silence winter produces.

she’s trying to protect me.

like i should be protecting her yet i funnel toxins into her mouth forcing them down her throat not waiting for her to catch her breath. in anger she spews words at my shores ripping apart my alloy structures i have assembled while, i kill off swimming friends that don’t know any better but to just breathe in not realising that they are dying slowly, but surely.

she’s trying to breathe.

supplying me with all of the oxygen i could ever need, sprouting more trees to fill my lungs with what they so desperately crave. she rages fire through her forest to teach me a lesson, destroying herself. yet i cut down tree after tree to occupy the emptiness in my mind with money—power.

she’s trying to survive.

she is my home

#poetry #environment #environmental