[abundantcountry]

fit check revealing to me my hair is both longer and looks worse from the back than I thought. But I am LOVING this depop 80s vintage skirt.

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i have been a bit of a negative goosie recently and it’s time to stop wallowing. not in a punitive way. more like, we’ve had enough of the Saboteur.

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tumblr is the oven ive baked my brain in

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the way I just had a sobbing meltdown in the Woolworths car park probably isn’t all about this but tbh a lot of it is

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sent out five pitches to journalists and now want to kms. how am i gonna do this job :(((

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On reflection these red tights are too sheer and kinda look like a skin condition

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kurinuki first attempt!!

such a fun way to work with clay but incredibly hard to know when to stop carving, i broke through the wall once and hopefully patched it okay.

[rozieramati]

carl jung

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AI ass biatch don’t you dare pretend

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felt like a cosplay tbh to wear this to the farmers market but three people stopped me to say they loved my outfit :’)

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how how howwwww is Lana exactly my height but looks 5’11 in every photo wtf!!!

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depop girlie lied to me about having posted an incredibly beautiful brown vintage leather jacket and wasn’t online for a week and then was online yesterday and still didn’t reply to my four messages :(((( im still not mad babe i just really want that jacket!!!!!!

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[abundantcountry]

i love my new (very old) camera so so so much. it’s a joy to hold, it’s such an OBJECT!! tactile. the sound of the shutter is delicious. i have three more pics in my first ever roll and im pretty sure most of them will be shocking because ive been shooting mostly low light indoors on kodak gold 200. i have tried to read about and figure out camera language and how it all works but I have NOT been able to absorb any of it. really dont care tbh im having so much fun :)))

[suonko]

by Joseph Wright of Derby

[abundantcountry]

crispy king oyster mushies and bigass moon.

yesterday i had a shaking crying meltdown so im taking a week off work. i think that there might be something very off and accelerating in my brain and it has to be taken care of.

the amount of rumination and dread and fear i feel on a day to day basis about work is not reflective of our strong business. i have never before in my life had to deal with a sense of real responsibility and hope for the future, and unfortunately as the business grows, it is paralysing me.

having a small business requires you to be very multi skilled. i am so naturally talented at certain parts of this job. but other parts are antithetical, and they are essential.

we’ve got to the point where i am encountering work that i can not and do not want to do. sure, i could teach myself a mini MBA. but my mind screams and doesn’t stop screaming at the prospect.

i get in my head about competitors. i repeat to myself that there is room for us all. a rising tide lifts all ships. i don’t need a multimillion dollar company and we have money saved and we’re safe and comfortable and have been for a couple of years now. after my twenties of stealing to eat, survivial sex work, and when i couldnt face that anymore literally wandering the streets hoping to find money, it feels literally unbelievable to have built this with the love of my life from NOTHING. but it all feels so precarious because i don’t trust myself.

it can all feel like a race to the top where ive already failed. because we’re not the biggest in our category in australia, we’re not exporting yet, although we get interest in it regularly (a huge Turkish food company wants to import asap?!), because newer and richer businesses are ripping off our products and my writing from our site. i dont enjoy competition and i just want everyone to play by the fucking rules.

anyway. im taking a week off.

i’m getting my violin serviced, i’m taking myself out for a day with my film camera, i’m making some kurinuki pottery. i’m reading for hours a day and making bao and not worrying about the bomb.

[abundantcountry]