Blind Chicken

I'm writing a weird book on Patreon. Here's a link: FREE FIRST DRAFT OF THE FIRST CHAPTER I don't feel comfortable promoting myself so the plan is to keep posting one-liners and ideas I have shamelessly stolen or came up with on Tumblr and hope to find my tribe.

[abuse4points]

Nothing new in the world

Stranger Things is arguably a world phenomenon. Whether you like it or not, whether you've watcher it or not, whether you agree with me or no, it's global. Cool.

What bugs me is the template progression of the seasons. First season introduced an alternate reality world/parallel world/whatever. They added dimensions to reality and made a compelling narrative out of the premise. Second season had the need to go beyond that and so they simply introduced another dimension, just like all the sequel movies from the 2010's.

It's not Stranger Things 3D. It's Stranger Things, beyond and above, but also underground this time. With more strobe lights and photosensitive warnings this time around.

[abuse4points]

Hypocrisy

Imagine being a young man with a curious, adventurous and an entrepreneurial personality with an inclination to all things contemporarily skeptical and scientific and, by definition, adverse to prevalent dogmatic religious thought living in a time when public adherence to principles of social behavior was the norm and saying:

"Fuck it. I think I'll scavenge the cadavers and make a man in MY OWN image."

And then naming him Adam.

You fucking tool.

[abuse4points]

Guy Ritchie used to make films. Now he makes shitty movies.

[abuse4points]

Who else noticed that the CIA has started injecting insane amounts of cash into media just to test out whether or not Europe is prepared for the US to start shit on the Balkans? Again.

[abuse4points]

What THE FUCK is the melody from the last Bad Boys? It goes Ta-da-da-DA-da-da-Ta-da-da-DA-da-da.

[abuse4points]

John Jonah Jameson Jr.

You know how J. Jonah takes any photo of Spiderman Peter Parker hands to him and makes up a story on the spot depicting the webslinger as as a menace? For example, Peter will hand him a photo of Spiderman pulling a person from oncoming traffic and J. Jonah will look at it and conclude it's depicting Spiderman pushing the person into harm's way.

I remember reading something a professor said to his journalism students somewhere. If one person says it's raining and the other one says it's not, it's not your job as a journalist to quote both of them. Your job as a journalist is to look out the window and figure out which one is telling the truth.

It always seemed to me that J. Jonah has been teaching Peter the nuances of journalism in his own way. It's true that for his own benefit, J. Jonah benefits from sensationalism and painting Spiderman as a menace sells more newspaper but along the way it seems to me that he's teaching young Peter the journalism trade.

Either that or he's pushing the only person Spiderman will pose for to figure out a way to interview him and figure out whether it's raining.

[quotemadness]

Reading is one form of escape. Running for your life is another.

Lemony Snicket

[abuse4points]

Steroid Speedrun

It took Yuji Itadori, who's an obviously physically gifted youngster who could go on and achieve great things in professional sports, an obscenely tiny amount of time to start doping in the context of Jujutsu Kaisen. Also, he jumped on the steroid bandwagon IMMEDIATELY as he encountered his first hurdle. This incident coincided with the recent death of his grandfather but still... Seems like he was just waiting for an excuse.

[abuse4points]

No country for old men

No Country for Old Men is a pretentious movie. It means nothing. I waited to watch it until I was more mature and it was all around shit. Fuck You All. Fight me about it.

[abuse4points]

The Baker Jew of Camden

I have a theory that the entire Peaky Blinders series is nothing but a prequel to Alfie Solomons' adventures in America proper. Shelby family and their misadventures were just a framing device to justify some (but never all) of his decisions and inspired ramblings. I mean, he's the only character who seems to show up, fuck things up, and only chooses to participate when the prescient outcome works in his favor. If there's a writer's favorite, it's the Baker Jew of Camden.

Also, If Steven Knight ever reads this, you should stop whatever the fuck you're doing and give us Taboo season two. I'll personally watch it enough times to bring up your ratings to Game Of Thrones levels in the first week. After that, I'm guessing there's a couple of other people who'd also like to see more of it.

[abuse4points]

The Beekeper

The only thing I'm not buying in this entire movie is that a 20 something receptionist working a high foot traffic desk in a scam call center building would describe Jason Statham as a "40 something".

The rest of the movie checks out. :)

[abuse4points]

Somebody needs to figure out Madonna's dick sucking technique and apply it to Guy Richie's creative process before he dies...

[abuse4points]

The crude oil ice skating scene in Argylle is what every fifth scene in both Marvel and DC should be. Minimum.

This is one of the hills I've chosen to die on.

[abuse4points]

The forehead point of Agent Argylle's hair is off-center and it's fucking with my brain because I have that hair shape and now I'm wondering whether mine will start moving around as I age.

I have OCD. Wandering forehead hair is not a thing I can get accustomed to watching in the mirror every day. My hair needs to be where I left it.

[abuse4points]

Frieren's got balls

As soon as I saw the representation of Frieren's soul as an off-brand Calcifer fire-flame reminiscent of a ball-sack I knew she'd win the Japanese version of feather-against-the-sin scale challenge Anubis somewhat fancied.

What gets me is that, in her everyday life, Frieren, without ever outwardly displaying it or investing any kind of effort, comes out being perceived as obviously and undoubtedly traditionally feminine. But when push comes to shove, she goes balls to the wall and defeats the strongest of opponents by displaying the results of centuries of training and preparation.

It's almost as if she's a woman traditionally brought up to be seen and not heard, if you ask her husband or father, but the woman both her husband and father would prefer argues on their behalf if the bouncer at the door raises some issues with the validity of their painfully obviously home-printed concert tickets.

[abuse4points]

Five Finger Discount

Following the recent advent of AI generated images, does anyone else watch fantasy shows and count character fingers to figure out whether the production company got their CGI done by underpaying and overusing graphic design companies (often litigating them into the ground during and after the "cooperation") or by simply feeding the entirety of the global artistic acumen into an artificial intelligence without the artists' permission?

Asking for a graphic designer friend...

[mametupa]