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Neziki/Grade 10/FP

[academyprincess]

…

(Yeah, right. Not so fast. As if Hikari was about to let him walk away like that, no matter how much Pom may want him to. She runs after him, stepping in front of him and turning on her heel, blocking him from moving any further. With a frown, she pokes his chest with her forefinger indignantly.)

And maybe you should have realized that I was using a connotative meaning instead of a literal one. And no matter how many definitions you can list, it doesn’t change the fact that in the context of the conversation, we were talking about keeping him from anything alcoholic.

(She smiles and removes her finger, crossing her arms against her chest.) Again, nice try.

[academyprodigy-blog]

(He looks at her, deadpan, swatting away her hand with his gloved one.)

I like English about as much as I like annoying, hormonal, teenaged girls. 0%.  Since it's the least concrete and most interpretive core subject my argument stands; I am the one who used the word, and I am the one who sets its definition under the jurisdiction of my usage.  Bye.

(He makes sure to step on her foot as he marches off.)

[academyprodigy-blog]

academyprince replied to your post: academyprincess replied to your post: bzweeep! If...

i know, you posted a notice on the wall

Wow!  I'm almost impressed!  At least 75% of people your age don't read.

[academyprodigy-blog]

academyprincess replied to your post: academyprincess replied to...

Aww, you just get cuter as time goes on, don’t you.

The correct term for someone of your nationality would be "kawaii" or "moe," right?  Then again, according to my databases, Japanese is your worst class.  馬鹿な女。

[academyprincess]

academyprodigy replied to your post: 

Incorrect. Palmer is never sober, regardless of whether or not he has consumed alcoholic substances.

Incorrect? I think you should rework your definition of sober if that’s the case. Last time I checked, sober means to be abstinent of alcohol. 

[academyprodigy-blog]

You fail to take into account that approximately 93.63% of words in the English language have multiple meanings.

bzweeep! (He shoves his analyzer's screen in your face, saying out loud what's written on it despite not looking at the screen himself.)

so·ber

[soh-ber] adjective

1. not intoxicated or drunk.

2. habitually temperate, especially in the use of liquor.

3. quiet or sedate in demeanor, as persons.

4. marked by seriousness, gravity, solemnity, etc., as ofdemeanor, speech, etc.: a sober occasion.

5. subdued in tone, as color; not gay or showy, as clothes.

Ergo, the word sober doesn't always imply abstaining from alcohol.  Since it's inefficient for me to speak with someone who can't realize even that, I will be terminating this conversation.

(He turns and begins to walk away.)

[academyprodigy-blog]

academyprincess replied to your post: academyprincess replied to...

That was a use of irony commonly referred to as sarcasm.

That was a situation in which I frankly don't care, Swooning.

[academyprodigy-blog]

academyprincess replied to your post: academyprincess replied to your post: bzweeep! If...

i’m swooning

Very well.  I shall refer to you as "Swooning" from this point onwards.  You may call me Neziki. (he registers your "name" into his analyzer, overwriting the previous data file "Hikari.") 

bzweeep!

[academyprodigy-blog]

academyprincess replied to your post: bzweeep! If Palmer is the primary thing I...

charming

According to regular protocol, this is the part where I would wink.

"☆"

academyprince replied to your post: bzweeep! If Palmer is the primary thing I...

please

You're my roommate, correct?  How unfortunate.  Your name isn't significant enough for me to register, but I should inform you that:

1) You may not speak while I am in the dorm.

2) You may not sing while I am in the dorm.

3) You may not get within one meter of all computational devices.  There is an 83.62% chance that you will operate them incorrectly. 

[academyprodigy-blog]

bzweeep!

If Palmer is the primary thing I encounter after returning to the dorms, I don't see any good reason not to continue with self-studying.

[academyprodigy-blog]

-hic- hEYE geEKFaCE hWO dO I pUT A syTAR in my blogonameM thING >:^(

Assuming you mean "URL," stop drinking, and the probability of you becoming less technologically inept may increase by, say, 0.00000001 percent?

[academyprodigy-blog]

My professional experience is that, to optimize one’s living conditions, the best course of action is to disable any Tower Tycoon related devices and deploy a 3 meter force field around one’s person at any instance of his entrance into the vicinity.

[hairtuft-blog]

Ahem.

[academyprodigy-blog]

Is there a problem, Salon Maiden?  My calculations are 100% perfect.

[oldfpflint-deactivated20190517]

i woke up from my nap because my “palmer is making an ass out of himself” sensors were ringing

[academyprodigy-blog]

My professional experience is that, to optimize one's living conditions, the best course of action is to disable any Tower Tycoon related devices and deploy a 3 meter force field around one's person at any instance of his entrance into the vicinity.

[academyprodigy-blog]

FATED BATHROOM MEETING

[academyscholar-deactivated20130]

Although it isn’t strange for someone to choose a particular restroom on campus to use frequently, it did seem odd to Cheren that he never knew there was a restroom over here. It was rather loud in the cafeteria today, and he preferred to work while he ate, so he ended up wandering to a place void of many people and finished his salad while finishing his world history homework. He needed to rinse out his container and brush his teeth though—he disliked the feeling after a meal.

It seemed like no one was in the restroom as he walked in (which was a relief for more than one reason). Quickly peeking from behind the door before entering, he stepped towards the sink and filled his lunch container with water a couple of times before putting it aside, and uncapping his toothbrush to use.

Just as he began to brush, he… couldn’t help but feel like he wasn’t alone. Maybe it was slight paranoia, but… 

Still.

He continued to brush for a full three minutes before rinsing, all the while, trying not to think much of it. 

[academyprince-deactivated201302]

As a more or less active member of the Photography club, Ruby liked to think he knew the grounds fairly well, spending a generous portion of his time roaming and familiarizing himself with the less trafficked areas of campus; often he would abandon his lunch break for the few moments of privacy with his camera. Boy, he is such a busy guy! He should begin charging for giving others them the time of day.

Additionally, he found what the cafeteria had to offer to be quite off-putting! Not only did he find the quality of food to fluctuate between decent and sub-par to standards of acceptable human consumption, but by golly was he deterred by the unhealthy (literally) dominance of red meat in the menu! Unovans sure have dreadfully uncouth culinary preferences! 

Trotting down one of several spacious and vacated staircases, Ruby decides to stop by one of the few restrooms he’s willing to enter for its isolated location. With absolutely no regard to whomever may already be inside, he casually thrusts open the door and marches on in with the poise and authority of a VIP. (Although, it isn’t as if he doesn’t always do that to begin with!)

Completely unaware of the other student in plain sight occupied by one of the sinks, he begins his hand washing process, careful to keep the camera dangling on his neck away from the water spray, humming mindlessly to himself and ignoring the sensation of an impending migraine caused by a spontaneous strife with unwanted and arguably disdainful company! 

[academyprodigy-blog]

IM-POS-SI-BLE!

Two people present in close proximity? And the probability of them being Cheren... and some unobservant, self-absorbed, narcissistic beauty queen who enjoys flipping his hair in front of bathroom mirrors?  For the former, it's a rounded 0 percent!

Neziki discards the paper towel, stores his toothbrush, and utilizes his handy-dandy analyzer to run a photo analysis of the other boy's face.

Bzweeeeep!

On any other day, Neziki would have walked out swiftly without looking back.  In fact, he should have walked out without looking back, as that is by default the most optimal course of action when confronted with any unnecessary social situation located within a domicile of defecation. But:

1) The fact that Cheren, an interesting subject to begin with, was in this particular bathroom was very intriguing.

And more definitely:

2) Neziki's analyzer was not set to Silent Mode.

Replacing the scowl on his face with a grin that was probably his elementary school teachers' attempt at getting him to appear more approachable but instead gave him the look of a deviously eerie douchecomputer, he emerges from the darkness, his reflection sliding into Cheren's mirror and a gloved (because why would you ever turn a public doorknob without the necessary equipment?) hand finds its way onto the classmate's shoulder.

"I wouldn't expect you to know, but the probability of me meeting you here is only 0.003 percent, Cheren 'Ren Jian' Long."

He turns to the obnoxious boy before he can even open his lips.

"You're statistically more common, Ruby.  Don't be flattered that I know you; I just ran an analysis of your face, and the probability of my databases being incorrect is zero.  Also, there's a particle of sustenance between your leftmost incisor and canine teeth."

He turns back, deadpan, and switches his hand to the other shoulder.

"Is your scanner functioning properly now, Cheren?  I wouldn't have expected you to be able to fix it yourself."

[academyprodigy-blog]

FATED BATHROOM MEETING

Bzweeep!

Right on schedule.  To allow for time to brush his teeth, Neziki always vacates his eating location five minutes before the allocated lunch hour ends, but don't get him wrong, he doesn't sit in the cafeteria among his juvenile, genetically-inferior peers; the amount of times Neziki enters the cafeteria during the school year is exactly 0.

Do you even know what they put in the food there?  Neziki could tell you because of the sample he analyzed on his first day of of school, but seeing as how the probability of you and your disgustingly Unovan lack of culinary taste throwing up is only about 23 percent, he would likely just tell you it's worse than the time the Idiot Tycoon grilled his finger with beer and tried to eat it.

No. Neziki is better than that, or so he tells himself, as he mechanically swings open the door of the most unused men's bathroom on the campus (the reason being that the lights towards the end of the room were broken) and whips out his clinical toothpaste. This is why he is not brushing the daily mystery meat out of his teeth right now, but instead tiny particles of hand-cultivated organic broccoli.

He finishes his routine, brushing in circles for precisely two minutes, by washing and disinfecting the brush.  But as he reaches to turn off the sink--

Footsteps?  But the probability of that is only 5.3 percent!

Furrowing his brows, he steps into the darker area of the restroom, strategically positioning himself behind a paper towel dispenser while simultaneously wiping off his toothbrush.  He didn't have time to deal with idiots who don't understand the concept of good dental hygiene.  

[academyprodigy-blog]

Wow, I'm glad I'm not the only short person here...

Wow, I'm glad I'm not bound by the juvenile social obligations inherent in the concept of empathy (negated by the fact that you are exactly 2.1 inches taller than me) because judging by the fact that I don't know you, there's a 99% chance that you aren't academically outstanding enough for me to care.

[academyprodigy-blog]

Woah... You look like an even bigger nerd than Cheren!

If "bigger nerd" equates to "more likely to be valedictorian" then yes, you are correct.  Currently my GPA exceeds Cheren's by -bzweeep!- 5.2 percent, but considering that you aren't ranked among the top five and, statistically speaking, never will be, I wouldn't let that number concern you.

[longpleatsandpigtails-blog]

Hmm…yeah, kinda like an alien. Maybe. Something like that. Wait. No, no, I think it’s definitely some kinda robot. Didn’t you hear ‘im go on and on and on—oh my god, like some sort of recorded monotone voice, Arceus!

…

Hibiki? What is Canada?

[academyknight]

Like Google translate? Wow.. That’s pretty strange. What a loser!

Oh.. Haha, Canada? That’s easy — I’m almost, [in a mocking voice since he’s copying Neziki], say, 83% sure that it’s some kind of sugarless cereal. That, or a brand of condom. I can’t really remember.

[academyprodigy-blog]

[he deadpans]

What a rare phenomenon, maybe 2 percent?  Two primitive humanoids of questionable intelligence quotients in their natural habitat.  I only came here to create a social link with the one with the forehead that takes up 73 percent of his face, so you're wasting my time with your pointless illogical hypothesis.  I am a homo sapien after all, not that I would have expected you to notice.

Also? Bzweeep! "Canada" is not a term registered within my analyzer.  Ergo, it doesn't exist.

[longpleatsandpigtails-blog]

I’m gonna kick your ass into next year

[academyprodigy-blog]

I appreciate your offer to "kick" me up another year, but I've already skipped a grade before, you know.  Your unnecessary assistance is late, maybe 83 percent?

Regardless, I fail to see the issue in a student such as myself socializing and perhaps even forming a lasting friendship with a classmate possessing a cranial capacity of similar though perhaps (maybe 10 percent?) lower caliber than my own.

Also, as a completely cordial heads up, just in case you were too illiterate to read the handbook:

6. No bullying other students! It’s unnecessary and can cause hurt feelings. Not only that, but it can lead to you getting into big trouble as well, if reported.

Consequentially, "ass kicking" is against the rules.  Assisting your peers with technological issues is not.