Dear NH,
I supported so much of you, I gave so much to you without you even having to ask. I gave you all my emotional energy that I could spare because you needed it and received it well.
You gave me almost nothing, you thought your own problems were more important than mine. You were right, but that doesn’t mean mine didn’t exist and didn’t need support too.
You missed my birthday for a minor ‘professional’ event that was purely optional, leaving me alone. You manipulated the truth, telling me things that were not lies, but you knew how I would take them and you knew that that was untrue (you told me you wouldn’t be able to stay the night before I met your parents, well I met them and months later you still couldn’t). You told your parents personal issues of mine which only further made them dislike me, as they disliked me before they met me just for who I was to you. You never stood up to them, even though you should.
You care only for the material sometimes. All your familial interactions seem based around financial advantage, from your own words anyway; other than your unhealthy obsession of approval from parents who will never give it to you.
For months you drained my emotional reserves dry. I told you I couldn’t keep this up. I told you I was at the end of my rope. I begged you to support me back, like I support you, like how a healthy relationship ought to be, rather than a selfish vampiric parasite. You ignored my literal cries for help, you claimed that you didn’t because you would ask how I was that day in passing, which you had always done, and that this was sufficient a response (more veiled untruths).
The inevitable happened, I had a breakdown. From a lack of support, and from giving you the support you needed. You decided that this was my fault. You decided to make me the problem literally in the middle of my breakdown from not feeling supported, you decided to fully abandon me there. You end things with me because I obviously did not take this well.
I pour my soul out to you. You took me back. Two days later you end it again. I had just picked my heart back up off the floor and you rip it out once again. Why? Because your parents did not approve of your decisions at 22 years old. Why did they not approve? Because you decided to tell your narcissistic, judgemental parents, who don’t want you to date at all, the very personal issues I was having.
I have accepted this. I have moved on. I have learnt from this. I have grown.
You won’t change. You will repeat these mistakes. I won’t care.
I honestly wish I never have the displeasure of your presence again.
You are a selfish narcissist who embodies the worst qualities of the parents you despise and you fuck with my head.
Regards,
MC
