European politics are very complicated, so let's look at the subject from a Town of Salem perspective. If you're not familiar, town of Salem is a game where a group of fifteen players try to kill each other and form pragmatic short-lived alliances to get rid of the rest of the town. In other words, what Europe has been doing since time immemorial.
The townies are the majority, the good guys. The official leader of the town is the mayor, to whom we shall refer as the EU. The mayorâs power is relatively recent and not all townies feel comfortable with it, but they all went along with it by whispering to him. The reason they whispered however, was because they saw everyone else whispering, so they figured they had no choice.Â
What the townies increasingly begin to suspect however, is that the mayor has been turned into a de facto sockpuppet of Germany, the jailor. The mayor realizes that the doctor canât save him anymore and so he merely does whatever the jailor tells him to, because as soon as he doesnât, Germany stops protecting him.
The whole town however distrusts Germany, because Germany has a habit of playing as serial killer and despite the fact that weâre now all playing a new game, people still donât trust Germany because theyâre convinced that Germany has bought fifty serial killer scrolls.
So this town is unstable from the start. It gets worse however, because thereâs a vampire out there. Money is the lifeblood of nations and the vampire has a habit of sucking them dry, until the other countries turn into vampires too, without any of the other townies noticing a difference.Â
The first victim was Greece, who was promptly and wrongly so executed by Germany, who is now insisting to Europe that Spain, Italy and Portugal are vampires too, Heâd love to kill them too, but that would mean sacrificing his EU, who would be promptly killed by the evil players or turned into another vampire.
Thereâs also a formerly neutral role out there, an amnesiac, The amnesiac is neutral, but can pick any role he wants. The amnesiac in this game is Ukraine, who finally gathered the courage to pick the townâs side, only to be promptly slaughtered in retaliation by the mafia. So other than the vampires, who are the evil players? On the one hand, thereâs the Godfather, Russia, with his mysterious henchman Belarus whom everyone keeps forgetting still needs to be dealt with. The current Godfather became the Godfather after the old Godfather, the Soviet Union, died.Â
Thereâs also a guy out there known as Saudi Arabia who has played the same role for the last 14 rounds or so by now. He is specialized in playing the long game and his modus operandi is to go around spreading his main claim to fame, petrol, all over peopleâs houses. So far most of the Middle East has been doused, Syria has been turned into a pile of ash and France is hearing footsteps on his roof, but Sheriff America insists that he can detect an arsonist and Saudi is merely an awkward transporter.
On the other hand, thereâs a survivor out there known as Turkey. Turkey technically just wants to survive without ending up in some kind of civil war, but he is at this point for all practical purposes an evil vote. The town was at first quite nice to him, but now that things are coming to a cataclysm and townâs victory has ceased to look as an inevitability, the survivor is starting to look to anyone but the town to befriend and Germany regrets that he never took the opportunity to kill him. Finally, the point weâre at now is where Germany has the terror of her life, as the âconfirmed lookoutâ known as Great Britain whom she had so much trust in revealed herself to be a witch all along, who isnât part of any team but simply loves chaos and will do whatever it takes to see the town lose. This witch, if not promptly dealt with, now has the power to make Germany kill the EU against her own will and to give the evil players a sufficiently large majority that the town is either soon dead or struck with a peculiar pale complexion. If on the other hand, Germany does dare to lift a finger against Britain now, this guarantees that the EU dies the same night. Thereâs also a chronically AFK medium known as Switzerland and a Jester known as North Korea, who desperately wants to get attacked and keeps spamming everyoneâs feed with nuclear holocaust threats. Just ignore that guy.
