and he thinks that's funny, really—because he's all grand gestures and pretty rings and getting down on one knee, and you asked him to marry you in the kitchen while he was unpacking a box of dishware.
not that he has anything against the kitchen, of course; it's all shiny and new and picked just for you, after all, but you look nervous and a little like you just popped a tetsu do you wanna marry me? from your mouth. though, he supposes you did, so maybe that isn't all that unfounded.
"you mean like eventually, or?" he can feel you roll your eyes.
"i mean like—i don't know, after we plan a wedding?" you say, and kuroo grins.
"oh, so you want me to be your fiancé?"
and there's a moment where a little cloud of what he thinks might annoyance flashes across your face, and he considers that maybe he could be teasing you a little too much. but then you turn a little red and sink your teeth into your lip and spill out a little yeah, i do and, truthfully, he's never been so smitten for someone in his entire life.
"if you're not ready or your don't want to or i just ruined everything you can say no." you slide a box of dishes onto the counter, pulling the top open. "i just—i don't know, tetsurou. i wanna marry you."
he finds this funny. hilarious even.
and it's not because he doesn't want to marry you or that there's any way in hell he's going to say no; it's because you're nervous. you're reaching into that box and pulling out the dishes and sorting them into little piles while you're asking him to marry you. he keeps trying to catch your gaze, but every time he turns towards you, you turn away.
"i wanna marry you too," he says finally. "i have for a while actually."
"you do?" you pause for a minute, pushing a stack of dishes away from you, and you turn. "are you sure?"
and part of him wants to laugh a little more. to look and you and ask how that could ever come as a surprise to you? how could you ever think that he, in any instance, wouldn't want to marry you? because, truly, if not you, then who else?
he knows what shampoo you buy and how you like your tea—even if he forgets sometimes. he buys foods you love, even if they aren't his favorite, just because he knows they make you happy. he begged you to move in with him—and he means begged you—because the idea of not spending every day with you made him feel a little ill.
he's in love with you. hopelessly, bitterly so—and there's no one in the world he would rather marry.
and he'd tell you that now, he'd love to actually, but that would be stripping away too much of his future vows for his own good.
"baby," he says instead. "i have a ring."
and he can see the way you choke a little—the way your face turns a little red and you look like you want to say something but you just can't, so instead, he raises a finger in the air and scurries off to his room—your room now—and pulls a little box from the bedside table.
he holds it in front of you then—a little black box with a ring propped up in the middle—and, in true kuroo fashion, he sinks to his knee.
"marry me?" he hums, a little laughter spilling from your lips. "even though you already asked?"
and you smile, "oh, you had to steal my shining moment, didn't you?"
he shrugs, "i think it's part of my charm. so—marry me?"
you hold your hand out in front of you, dangling your little ring finger towards the box.
"just put the ring on my finger, tetsu," you say, and he is more than willing to oblige. "but—when people ask, it was all me."
"yeah, yeah, all you." he plucks the ring from the box, sliding it onto your finger. "they'll be too busy telling you how wonderful your fiancé is to ask."
"oh of course they will." you throw a hand into his shoulder. "too busy looking at the rock on my finger to even care who proposed."
"exactly, you get it." he lifts himself from the ground, planting a little kiss to your forehead as he reaches his feet. "but if it comes down to it, all you."
you grin—toothy and wide and so much of the girl he fell in love with. "all me."
sakusa hears from underneath you as you lightly tap on his chest. for whatever reason, either it be his fatigue from the long day or the fact the was only half awake, he doesn’t respond.
you try again, more gently - as if hoping he wasn’t, “kiyoomi?”
it’s rather rare for you to use his full name instead of a pet name he’d call god awful or the go-to nickname omi, so now he’s a little curious.
still, he doesn’t stir nor answer.
“ok, good,” you sigh in. oh, he realizes, you were actually hoping he was asleep for whatever you had to say or do.
“i uhm, i love you,” you begin, before lightly chuckling, “but you know that already.” it’s true, you’ve shared the three words with him on countless occasions but no matter how many times you do say it, he still gets a buzz across all his nerves. this time is no exception; he fights against the urge to shift around, getting whatever jitters are in his system out.
“but, i want to tell you this everyday, too, so … - gah, i can’t even find the words to a sleeping you,” you murmur, and he can only imagine the way you’re flustered - flushed face and squeezed shut eyes - as you attempt to finish your thoughts. it nearly brings a smile to his face.
“i guess i wanna say, thank you for loving me.” there’s a vulnerability in your tone, a slight wobble in the way the words flow out of your mouth. now he knows he can’t open his eyes; this isn’t meant for him to hear, at least not yet.
“i know i’m emotional, neurotic and annoying on a good day, so knowing you love me as consumingly as much as i love you (i love you more though, just saying) is something i never thought i’d receive in this lifetime.”
sakusa knows those adjectives are things you’ve come up with in the depth of your mind - or perhaps some stupid bullies from your past had drilled into you - but he thought none of those things of you.
“and you- god, you’re perfect,” you breathe out again, tracing a pattern with the pad of your finger along his chest. “how i got so lucky, i’m not really sure.”
sakusa believe it’s he who’s the one that’s lucky.
when you’d met the stoic man, by chance at a cafe near the arena, never did either of you think that the other would raise such an impact on your lives.
but then there you were, switching your order for his, which he hastily reached out for before your could take a sip. he remembers you uttering your apologies, bowing and waving in embarrassment.
normally he’d shrug off – maybe even sneer off if he were in a bad enough mood – the happening but your flushed face, you shaking hands; he couldn’t leave you in that state, now could he?
“it’s alright, really,” he tries to reassure you, blinking rapidly. he grows panicked as well when you apologize even more, shaking your head in shame.
maybe you wouldn’t be so embarrassed if you know you’d mixed orders with the sakusa kiyoomi.
but you did know who he was, thanks to the black jackals killer win covering all news outlets and your twitter feed.
so, you’re mortified.
when sakusa managed to calm you down, a little warily at that because your behavior was a little … strange, you’d bid your goodbyes with awkward smiles - yours more painful than his, before returning back to your everyday lives.
but the universe had other plans, of course.
because that moment forward, you’d see sakusa in that same coffee shop every time you were there.
in the beginning it was a little awkward, either pretending the other wasn’t there or sending each other pressed smiles. but on one of the days the coffee shop was abnormally not as packed as usual, you trudge in, knocking the jingling bell hanging off the top of the door harshly, muttering and grumbling about the god awful rain that's forming puddles to my ankles.
sakusa, clad in a raincoat and large black umbrella standing on its tip beside himself as he holds the handle, stifles his amusement as you shake yourself off like some sort of mutt coming out of a bath.
"bad morning?" he asks after you order your coffee and appear next to him in the small group of customers awaiting their order.
you make a sound of surprise at his attention, startling you slightly and making you lift your head quickly. when you catch sight of the dry, yet amused, expression across his features, you relax back into your slouch.
"more like a soaked morning," you murmur out of one side of your lips since their twisted in dismay. you glance over at the taller, leaner, man again, looking rather envious of his appropriate weather-wear. "they said light rain on the news," you huff.
"and you believe that?" sakusa scoffs. and then he laughs; if he laughs at the fact that you could be so naive or at the fact that he finds your pout adorable, you can't tell. but regardless, you stare in awe at the man. if only he wasn't wearing a mask, maybe you'd be able to see a smile.
"always come prepared," he trails off, looking over at the duffel bag, full of his sports gear, near his feet. he crouches slightly, digging into it, as if in search for something. "i always bring an extra," sakusa murmurs, a little bashfully, pulling out a smaller, tightly wrapped black umbrella and holds it out for you.
granted, the extra was usually for that annoying blonde teammate of his who never knew when to bring what but sakusa decides atsumu can survive one day in the rain.
"you're letting me borrow it?" you ask softly, taking the end of the umbrella's material between your fingertips.
sakusa hums in confirmation, straightening his posture once more and towering over you again. "just return it the next time you see me here."
before you can protest, his name – of course you know his name at this point – is called by a barista and he's given his coffee. he's about to leave the coffee shop before you stop him.
"but you don't even know my name!"
sakusa turns on his heel, suddenly feel heat rise up his neck. god, it took him that much self encouragement to even offer you the damn umbrella and now he's failed to even ask your name? he wants the floor to swallow him whole.
you take his slow blinks as expectance – really, he was jsut processing his embarrassment – and you clear your throat with a small smile. "y/n. i'm y/n."
"y/n," he visibly relaxes, glad he didn't have to plain out ask for your name. "i expect to see my umbrella tomorrow." had it not been for the nod of acknowledgement and crease of his eyes – he's smiling – you would think nothing of it. but that was confirmation: the butterflies in your stomach were swirling around in his, too.
"i was a blubbering mess!" you go on, practically reciting your innermost feelings sakusa wasn't 100% aware of when he first met you.
god, he wants to smile to so bad.
smile and just pull you in to hug you tighter against him.
"so, yeah, i just mostly wanted to thank you... and i love you... okay g'night." and then abruptly, almost comically, you shove your head back into the spot on sakusa's chest – right over his heart – to fall asleep.
when your breathing shallows, sakusa opens his eyes, squinting into the darkness of your shared bedroom, before looking down at you. he smiles fondly at you committing what you told him to memory, although he wasn't meant to hear it.
but it's alright.
the minute you do decide to tell him, he’ll be ten times more in love with you as he is now, hearing the words as a secret.
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