I had a similar discussion in a different class and in it, I said that I pick an choose which non-Black people I will talk to or just straight up cancel after they say something or do something offensive. A white boy in the class said that I was being self-righteous and judgemental because who am I to determine who is worthy of that knowledge and my forgiveness (see entitlement!). My response was that I am someone who has to protect my own peace so if I feel like its a waste of time I wonât bother. I do not exist in this INSTITUTION OF HIGHER LEARNING to educate other people. If people wanted to learn, there are many intellectuals that are willing to teach them. No one is entitled to my time or my energy. This does not mean I am silent on issues, it just means that go about it in a way that isnât detrimental to my own health. This is not a convenience thing for me, it's more of an assessment of energy costs to me vs. educational benefit to the person. If they are the type of person to ânot hear me because of the way I am speakingâ, (I can usually tell by the way they handle âless difficultâ nonracial disagreements), then I won't bother with them but I might say something to other people who have witnessed the event.Â
I think that alot of the times people donât consider how constantly having to teach other people how to be decent human beings and treat Black people like humans can take a toll on Black people. They donât realize that this person that they are trying to squeeze answers out of is human too, with their own feelings and their own stresses. Its just an overall disregard of black people as individuals existing outside of other people's expectations/they images people project on us. Like, why can we just exist/be outside of an object other people can use for their own purpose (for knowledge/wokeness points, validation, and guilt alleviation)?Â
However, I do acknowledge that my opinions and feelings are helpful and that my âanger expressed and translated into action in the service of our vision and our future is a liberating and strengthening act of clarification, for it is in the painful process of this translation that we identify who are our allies with whom we have grave differences, and who are our genuine enemies.â I know that it can be used for good but, like Dr. Lou said, it takes a certain amount of patience, and I think maturity to be able to do something positive with anger. If I feel like I am not in a clear headspace to do that kind of work, my attempt at doing it will just fall flat so it is sometimes best that I take a minute instead of just reacting. That way when I do speak up, it makes a positive impact on people instead of coming off as disorganized and fueled purely on emotions and not facts (because people will ask for receipts so I have to have them). If that makes sense.Â
I do want to be a benefit to the community and I understand the gravity and importance of that work. I believe that if I can focus on people who are just ignorant (lacking knowledge) instead of people who are stupid (lacking the mental capacity for knowledge), I will be able to facilitate more change. You canât really fix stupid. Its a fixed trait at that point. The person has a personality disorder that no amount of my teaching can help. Some people are just disagreeable. Whereas, people who just donât know any better, will be able to hear me no matter how uncomfortable it might make them because they are open to knowledge.
If my methods are wrong, let me know if you want. Its always good to learn how one can be a better (Black) citizen.
Other things I liked that Lorde Said:
âHatred is the fury of those who do not share our goals, and its object is death and destruction. Anger is a grief of distortions between peers, and its object is change.â
I think this is an important distinction to make because some people (who are lowkey revealing thier own hatred in doing so) will mistake the two and claim someone is being divisive and hateful when addressing racial issues.
âWe cannot allow our fear of anger to deflect us nor seduce us into settling for anything less than the hard work of excavating honesty; we must be quite serious about the choice of this topic and the angers entwined within it because, rest assured, our opponents are quite serious about their hatred of us and of what we are trying to do here... Anger is an appropriate reaction to racist attitudes, as is fury when the actions arising from those attitudes do not change... I cannot hide my anger to spare you guilt, nor hurt feelings, nor answering anger; for to do so insults and trivializes all our efforts. â
Hereâs Griffin with the assist:
âI am optimistic in believing if I step into the space that resistant cries have created, maybe, just maybe, something about my resistant voice in this moment will be heard, taken in, and taken seriously. Maybe...Reminding me of the significance of self-definition and self-determination, Lorde (2009) says, ââIf I do not bring all of who I am to whatever I do, then I bring nothing, or nothing of lasting worth, for I have withheld my essenceââ (pp. 182â183). Having been barred from bringing my angry essence for so long, since angry emotions are outlawed for Black women who wish to be welcomed, I yearned for a medium through which my voice could be heard...I began to wonder if I could channel my anger productively and manage to see more than just red. I imagined myself peering purposefully inward to question how I understand who I am, our world, and how I move through our world. Slowly grasping how to do so, I listened closely when Lorde (1984) told me that ââEvery woman has a well-stocked arsenal of anger potentially useful against those oppressions, personal and institutional, which brought that anger into being. Focused with precision it can become a powerful source of energy serving progress and changeââ (p. 127). Given the vulnerable enormity of doing such work from a Black feminist standpoint, in response to the queries of why? Why try, why write, why speak, why stay, why struggle?, akin to Jones in ââsista docta,ââ ââI believe that the work can be transformativeââ (Jones, 2003, p. 240). Also, mirroring Houston (1992) and Collins (2009), I feel obligated to use my access to class and academic privilege to advocate for women who look like me to have access to voice. â
-Griffin, I Am An Angry Black Woman
These really got to me because I do acknowledge that sometimes I have been afraid to show my emotions because of how people have reacted in the past, but now that I am a little wiser, I realized the importance of my perspective. I canât continue to censor my own truth in a world that is already constantly trying to censor it.Â
âI AM Angry. I am angry at the absurdity of our absence. I AM Angry. I am angry at my silence and yours; at my complicity and yours; at my world and ours. I AM Angryâ
âTo be a Negro in this country and to be relatively conscious is to be in a rage almost all the time.â
âUsually when people are sad, they don't do anything. They just cry over their condition. But when they get angry, they bring about a change.â
People are always assuming Iâm angry and telling me to calm down whenever I question something, ask about something or say anything at this university, period. I think because of that, I definitely internalize that feedback so sometimes in moments when I should be angry I just skip right into sadness and do nothing. After reading this, I definitely want to have less of those moments because they donât serve me or my people. I care about my people so I should try to make sure future generations have it easier. Thereâs no need to spare people my anger at injustices brought against me and people I love because as Malcolm X also said, âAnyone depriving you of your freedom isnât deserving of a peaceful approach.â
âTo embody the prideful tenacity that Black womanhood brings forth, I will do the very things that Black women are discursively disciplined not to do. I will rant Black Feminist Autoethnography without a hint of regret, and I will do so with my head held high believing that I am worth standing up for in a world that crudely tells me otherwise! Planting my feet in defiance, I will finish just as I have begunâweary, depleted, ââshaken, though not shatteredââ (Yancy, 2008, p. 2), and convinced that I am a brilliant woman of color who is worthy of sheer honesty, deep contemplation, and everlasting celebration.â