anyways. about the piano scene in general — we got a little peek last ep at how vash feels kind of inferior to knives because he can't like. "do anything." at least that's how i understood it. and then in this ep we got to see how knives feels inferior to vash. and yet. AND YET. he learned the ENTIRE piano piece on his own. a piano piece that was supposed to be a duet. now, we could interpret this as him trying to break away from his brother, and be sufficient on his own, but..... based on everything that came afterwards...... the way he spoke, the way he reacted to vash showing up........ i think he was just trying to remember his brother. i think he really, really fucking missed him. i think he couldn't stand to play his part of that piano duet and hear the silence where vash used to be. i think he was a boy mired agonizingly in terrible, terrible grief.
it gets worse when he watches his sisters murdered in droves by selfish, selfish people with no regard for life.
that was shattering! one of the only moments throughout the series so far where we get to see how truly vulnerable he is. not as much as in the manga, no, but there are still things tearing him apart.
when vash shows up, knives essentially starts beckoning his help. his brother is here. his brother is *here* and he's seen what humanity is really like, and surely there must finally someone who understands him. someone who's on his side. that look on his face wasn't distain, or detachment, or irritation. he was steeling himself. he thought his brother would fight with him. not right away, of course. he knows vash is soft, and that he'd need to defend him first, before reassuring him that they could create a better life together. though... that didn't really work, because vash has a heart for humanity despite watching their sisters be killed off all at once.
"he doesn't care. he doesn't care about me anymore. he cares about rem more than he cares about me. he cares about the people who are hurting us more than he cares about me."
i feel like that's what was going through his head, and grief is so quick to turn into anger when he's threatened; but it's not really anger towards vash. it's anger towards everyone who's taken his brother from him, time and time again. "how many times will you steal him from me" isn't directed at luida in specific. it's directed towards the whole of humanity.
and then in the blink of an eye, vash is in danger. putting everyone else in danger too, yes, but vash's safety comes first. always, always, always. and knives's only option is a drastic one, but he makes it without hesitation, because his brother is better off alive with one less arm than he is dead.
not that vash understands. i imagine all he felt was pain. his brother is a murderer. hasn't become any less of a murderer. won't listen to reason. won't stop when vash tells him to. and now he's hurt him. badly.
but all that knives processes is that vash is pointing a gun at him even though he saved him. even though he's just trying to make everything better. even though he's just trying to set things straight. even though he's just trying to help the lot of them. his sisters and his twin brother. and yet vash is threatening his life. pushing him further away, even though they've never been this far apart in the first place.
it breaks him. he's alone now. well and truly alone. he laughs instead of crying because he can't afford to show weakness. not even in front of his own brother anymore. it hurts.
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