a drabble from me to you !!! || @acquiescit no longer accepting !!!
really, it was only three words, it shouldn’t have been that hard. he wasn’t lying, he wasn’t standing out in front of the council to tell Uther he was plotting the downfall of Camelot. all this was really, was letting a friend know him better. && god did merlin want lance to know him better. he yearns for lance to him know, all of him, && to accept it. he can see the time they’d spend, merlin using magic to bring a smile to lance’s face.
he could wait until they go on patrol, all the knights on their steeds riding ahead while merlin stays back with lance. fires must be made, of course, && while the knights went off to do whatever they needed to do in the woods, merlin could light the fire with a word on his tongue && lance would know it all. it would be as simple as snapping his fingers.
or would it be in the sanctuary of their chambers? when the night stoops low over the city and the people sleep, merlin and lance would sit across from one another, like they do so many nights before. this little time to themselves will be no different from every other night except it’ll mean everything. he’ll look lance in the eye && without another moment’s thought, he’ll say those three words that catch in the back of his throat.
really, it shouldn’t have been so hard. except it was, && merlin knows exactly why. this was the kind of information that could make a person throw him aside in a moment of disgust, or hold him up to the sun as if he were sent by the heaven’s itself. && it wouldn’t matter, not really, merlin doesn’t care what people think of him, but this is lance, && it means everything to him now.