and there he was, trembling just like he trembled back when both of them were both small little seedlings forced to grow in bitterness so intrinsic to wenchinka’s wastelands, whispering promises akin to old unheard rites underneath skeleton trees –crying like he’d cry when thunderous nights were setting their foot and funar’s carriage had yet to come and so much shape of darkest clouds would resemble wrath of ancient alioth, beast of the skies and lightnings that would burn the soil of wenchinka asunder over and over again until lightdagger of cosmin would drag it back to darkness where it belonged, their loop eternal.
and fear too, was eternal, this much she knew. taking shape of ghosts just like it could easily blend in with the very living one ought to trust and show benevolence to, muddling all that ran along heart and veins such as love and hatred, mercy and mischief –what a dagger it was, but with no handle to safely hold onto ; as if truly meant to only hurt those who hold and those whose flesh falls apart against its sharpness, just like that sight in front of her making stomach churn as if blade had just sunken forth in heaps of misplaced regret.
“ oh, by the gods, caius –it’s me, listen– ” her voice trying to calm only for anguish cry to pierce and interrupt, her azures parting in wide shock to that tremulous note, the way he’d avoid her almost cracking further that frail little heart of hers –had she done something wrong all of a sudden ? her head shaking and with her blond locks unbraided: no, it had to be what had just happened still plaguing like a curse coinmaster’s shaken mind, still holding onto him like chains that would conduct a so - called criminal to obscure gallows.
thus, she’d collect patience –patience for that man who was but a scared child at the roots of an old skeleton tree, patience like the one of a girl still holding dark horse’s reins in her hands whilst approaching, her steps slow “ please, listen to me … you’ve seen them too, no ? the fears becoming as real as the wood of your desk. but they were illusions, and now it’s all over, please … ” oh, agony truly felt like mouthfuls of rancid water aghast her throat, making her wince. “ … please, caius, don’t cry like this. do you want me to prove i’m actually here ? ”
“I-I can’t do t-this,“ he stumbled over his own words as he replied with a still shaky breath. This was all too real. She looked different now, better than before in his vision, but he didn’t fully trust his mind anymore. What if she was about to fall to the ground again? He watched her come closer with scared, teary eyes, and so far she seemed to be fine. Maybe... maybe this wasn’t a nightmare after all?
He didn’t talk, he just watched her slowly coming closer, fearing he might be seeing those visions again, but, unlike the last time, he was in his own room and they both were alone. There were not other people, no family or friends, nor was there her husband. It was just the two of them and, as he kept thinking about it and counting all the differences, this was starting to feel real. Actually real. “My love,“ he breathed as if it was the first time he was seeing her after many years. Relief and hope washed over him, and he exhaled heavily. “That’s truly you?“ he asked trying to get up on his feet, yet struggling a bit. After all he had been sitting on the ground for what he assumed many hours. He grabbed the edge of a nearby desk to steady himself, his eyes never leaving Erszebet’s. “If this is not you and I have to watch you die in my arms again, I will not live through it. Please be real this time,” he whispered more to himself than to her as he reached out his hand to gently cup her face. A soft gasp fell from his lips at the touch. Without another word he closed the distance between them and wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug, silent tears rolled down his cheeks, but this time it was from happiness. He knew it - this was real and she was alive.
