rickaby.

arthur alistair rickaby. 7 studio albums. 3 EPs. 23 acting credits. 3 national tours. 5 world tours. 7 million followers @actualalistair. the man, the myth, the legend.

[wnq-quotes]

What I sometimes mistake for ecstasy is simply the absence of grief.”

Sarah Kane, Sarah Kane: Complete Plays; “Crave”

Read more on wordsnquotes

(via wordsnquotes)

[susierpt]

teen idle // marina and the diamonds

[dailyladylyrics]

supercut // lorde

[trippingeyes]

the end of all things - panic! at the disco

[lukas-musings]

      If my name in your phone doesn’t involve a 𝒽𝑒𝒶𝓇𝓉 𝑒𝓂𝑜𝒿𝒾                                                                                        I am offended

[actualalistair-blog]

dixie:

“so did you have a good thanksgiving?” dixie smiled, giving a small shrug. “i have to say, it was nice to have a little break and spend time with family. too bad it ended too soon and i’m back in la.” maybe she should move back to texas, it might not be a bad idea after all. 

“I flew out to New England to go to Beth’s house. I got to see my nephews, which is always nice,” Alistair said with a fond smile. He pulled up a picture on his phone, showing him in a sweater and jeans, at his sister’s house. Two small twin boys were climbing on him like he was a jungle gym. “My sister got on me about not going to church again, though. Well, my youngest sister. My other sister spent half the time in the corner, making business calls to Hong Kong. Meanwhile, my brother brought his girlfriend of two weeks and she’d dumped him by the end of the night. I thought Mom would have an aneurysm.”

[shareaquote]

Yes, people are capable of love. But most of them choose to hate instead.

justanotherwritingblog  (via wnq-writers)

[actualalistair-blog]

TEXT FROM MASON

MASON: this was my first time black friday shopping and it was a horrid mistake

MASON: i got shoved down for a mixing bowl?????

MASON: i didn't even want the bloody thing!

ALISTAIR: you actually went outside today???

ALISTAIR: bitch that is what amazon and assistants are for

[actualalistair-blog]

TEXT FROM JOEY

JOEY: i'm going to decorate my house for Christmas

JOEY: want to come over and help?

ALISTAIR: do you have christmas cookies

[ohh-bloodyhell]

[actualalistair-blog]

so sorry i haven’t been on!! anyone wanna plot with al and/or elle?

[actualalistair-blog]

dixie:

shaking her head, dixie waved her hand to wave the thoughts out of the air. “don’t be, you do things you need to when they should be done. everything turned out how it should be…right?” she sighed, never knowing what could have happened or what the truth was. but they couldn’t take back what they did or didn’t do at this point. 

“anyway, i don’t mean to be a bummer on your night. it just…gets overwhelming sometimes. you’d think i’d be a pro at this by now.”

“I don’t know,” he admitted.

Alistair let out a grim chuckle. “Don’t worry, Dee,” he said. “After awhile, smiling for the cameras in the face of an internal mental crisis becomes second nature.”

It had been for him for nearly twenty years, now.

[whooh-rpmusings]

                                                  Let these tears be our secret.

[disorders]

i do this really cute thing where i shut down and hate everybody

[actualalistair-blog]

rachel:

She nodds. Agreeing with his statement. The media was bullshit, and it always had been. They loved making money out of fake rumors just to tear them all down. It’s how the business rolls. She could never understood such a thing but then again it was how they made money, thanks to them.  ❛I haven’t really pay attention if your baby mama is around. She must pop up anytime now. You know her better than I do.❜ she announces. She had been there for him from the start. When he first met her, trought the engagement, the pregnancy, and it had been a rollercoaster of emotions till the end of the relationship. Which she knew it wasn’t over yet. 

“Yeah, I do,” he said, raising his eyebrows with a smarmy grin. Because who needed to talk about anything genuine when he could make lecherous jokes and shove his emotions into a little box in his head? He was so good at that. If there was an award for emotional repression, Alistair would be the record-holder. “What about you? Any potential drama-causers here tonight I should know about?”

[actualalistair-blog]

dixie:

when he father had died, dixie didn’t miss him. she pretended to until her mother moved them away from the farm. but he had always been too worried about the farm, the bottle, or god in order to create any good memories with dixie. 

but dalton…despite his demons had still given her so much. they were attached and it was wicked and fucked up and though dixie would never admit what they were or what she did, she still loved him in a weird messed up way. 

“you don’t have to. you just…you’re a good friend for always being here.” she smiled weakly up at him, her eyes pleading. 

Alistair licked his lips, thinking over everything he knew. Or, maybe, “knew” was the better term. They’d never spoken of what had happened explicitly, and yet...

Despite everything he “knew,” Alistair still cared for Dixie. Very, very deeply. Maybe it was because they had similar experiences in their fathers. Maybe it was because he knew what it was like to... remove the people causing you pain, even if he’d never had the courage to follow through. Maybe it was because he saw a reflection of his own dark side in her, and secretly liked it as much as he hated to think of it residing in himself.

“Sometimes I wish I’d had your courage, when it counted,” he finally said. A double meaning.

Alistair had many virtues, but many, many more vices. And his tendency to hide from whatever was causing him pain was probably the biggest one of all. The necessary defense mechanism born in his childhood had turned into a real problem as an adult.

[actualalistair-blog]

dixie:

“easier said than done.” she laughed lightly, still attempting to hold the tears back. “there’s just…so many questions.” her voice faltered and she glanced away from alistair for a moment, feeling one tear fall gingerly against her cheek. 

“and i’m lucky to have you as a friend.” she sighed. “i just…am expected to miss him. and i don’t want to. but i do. so much. is that…” her voice trailed off into the air. they never officially talked about anything, but their few words always carried a lot more, things they both knew and had experienced in their lifetimes.

Alistair watched her quietly for a moment. At her words, he was brought back to the night his father died. He’d been fifteen, first awake when there was a knock at the door, despite how late it was. Two police officers had informed the Rickabys that the patriarch, James Rickaby, had been stabbed to death in a bar fight, and had died before help had arrived.

Beth had been too young to understand what was happening. Leon and his mother had both cried, Mrs. Rickaby clinging to her eldest child, Alistair Arthur for support. As he held his mother, stroking her hair, he’d made eye contact with his sister Jane, and he could tell they were both thinking the same, awful, selfish, wonderful thing.

Freedom.

“I want to miss him for you,” he said quietly. But he didn’t. And he doubted he’d have to say so.