:/

eldest daughter complex central

[iphigeniacomplex]

[girl in a low cut top voice] i just dont know what it is but everyone is being sooo nice to me today….[grows grave and guarded] they’re conspiring against my reign and they think me a fool

[swagophile]

they led me to water once and i drank a bunch. i was thristy. it was easy for me. i think horses are just lame

[dogpuppy]

[skygenders]

[fangorn-forest]

her eyes were the sickly green of the sky before a tornado, and to his horror he discovered she could throw cows around just as easily

[that-house]

to his horror? weak shit. outta my way gayboy im boutta get it

[that-house]

all of our trobles seem so small from up here

[circusheart]

Cultivate your ability to see the world through stoner eyes even while sober

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Hey so that was a great date, yeah, but I don't think it's going to work out. Nono you didn't do anything wrong, and I have indeed had a crush on you since we started high school, it's just... well, I didn't want to bring it up at the time but we kinda got sucked into a portal fantasy midway through. We saved the kingdom over and over, relying on our knowledge of and trust in each other every time, throwing ourselves into the firing line to protect each other and using each others' conviction as a rock. We got married and lived a happy life together until the portal sucked us back mid-battle and you gave up all your memories of our journey in order to save my life right when we ended up back in the coffee shop. Yeah that was when I got a bit weird and went to the bathroom.

Anyway I thought we could push on and make the date work but I have all of these memories of secrets that this you never chose to share, decisions that this you never made, and intimacies that this you never experienced. And it's kind of screwing with the vibe yeah. Also on the date it was really, blatantly clear that you're sixteen whereas I have memories of ruling a fantasy kingdom for thirty years so like... that's a problem all on its own. Anyway this you just feels more like a daughter to me. A daughter with the woman I gave my heart and soul to over and over and received like in return, only to lose her forever on the journey home. On the plus side I can definitely help you with your math homework now.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

#what the fuck#this one was actually really very short why is it still like that what

The shorter it is, the more concentrated the what the fuck can be.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

I can help you with your math homework because the fantasy world's magic system was based on calculus and I was a gifted mage, stop nitpicking.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

#this world's magic system is also based in calculus

[nongunktional]

"oh you're just being nice" JUST? do you have any idea how much work goes into this shit? JUST being nice? girl i am doing some supercomputer shit upstairs to construct this niceness. they installed laplace's demon in my brain to trace out the last hour of interaction and calculate the optimal thing to say to make you feel better. and i still somehow beefed it? JUST being nice? yeah and bach was "just writing songs" jesus fucking christ. people askin for cordiality like it's no big deal

[gauntletqueen]

Never gonna forgive Disney for making people think Alice had a good time at that tea party

[gauntletqueen]

Does this look like the face of a child who is having a good time?

[im-mender]

Alice at that party

[sobcat]

ready for what the next week brings...

[weirdcatlive]

[rosieandthemoon]

unhinged old book and pamphlet covers that I can’t stop thinking about

[niceinchnails]

Smoking the pack that gave me 7 Uncle Ian Ideas

[pervpuke]

i… want… my BOYTOY! *telekinesis throws everything across the room*

[vintagewildlife]

"I can't believe humans would hunt the thylacine to extinction, humans are fundamentally evil" Hey, did you know that extinction was long thought to be impossible, and within 50 years of humans realizing that extinction via overhunting was a possibility it practically stopped happening? Did you know that humans are so desperate to prevent more losses that they're funneling millions of collective hours and billions of euros into helping other species? Hours and euros that could be spent on humans, and species on whom humanity's own survival does not depend? Did you know that due to an accidental introduction of rats, the Lord Howe Island stick insect population was brought down to 24 individuals and now there are tens of thousands of them?

This bug. This bug that, to most humans, is utterly useless, relatively gross, and completely foreign. Humans saved it because humans do not want to cause another extinction ever again if they can avoid it.

[technofinch]

I have GOT to stop spending $30

[funkmclovin]

$30 is the new $5 but $100 is still $100 #Fucked

[lesbianmarrow]

free use is kind of a funny kink bc it relies on the idea that everybody wants to touch you and have sex with you but what if they don't. what if you tell everybody at the party you're free use but they all ignore you and mind their own business

[tunnaa-unnaa]

taking notes