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infantisimo

the will is weak the flesh also is weak and me i am not doing too good either

I wish I could record my brain like a video. Because I have so many amazing thoughts that get lost to the wind.

actualwasted

In the first minute of my 22nd birthday I will chug beefeater gin.

actualwasted

I got a solid 4 gulps of gin down,

and then I fucked up this post (twice) and sent it to the wrong blog. Then I erased it (once on the correct blog lololol) on accident. So hopefully this one works lolol

In the first minute of my 22nd birthday I will chug beefeater gin.

#which will be in at least 2 minutes

My masochist is coming out full force tonight.

I just saw a shooting star. I'm truly blessed 😚

Titties...... soft

#they're very good #the big island has absolutly #zero lez/bi pickings #once ive moved to LA im gonna fuck all day and night.#if you wanna join my quest hit me up im looking for roommate's

Have you found the pumpkin king? But I found his son and I carved him up in his math class. He had 313 seeds, ALL DEAD. Those could have all been real pumpkins. That's so sad! Who gonna carve a pumpkin?

so when I'm drunk my close up eyesight flips and suddenly i can't see anything close us with my glasses on. But when I take them off I can see everything close to me as if i did have glasses on. Long range eyesight is not changed in any way. Like I can't read anything on this computer with my glasses, but without I can see it perfectly fine.

#shit is stupid and weird #also my alcohol tolerance changes from day to day #and its bullshit because I can never really plan for how drunk I wanna get #its a crapshoot almost every time #whatever

My favorite chasers:

1. Whipped cream in a can; spayed into my mouth. It’s fun and useful!

2. A small handful of nerds. (The crunch and and flavor work in tandem to distract me from vomiting from the gross shot.) Nerds rope is also valid.

3. Orange juice; I love the thick pulpy juice so much it really fucking brings me back to earth and gives me the will power to swallow that poison that I'm willfully drinking for fun.

4. Any fruity soda; my friends always bring fruity soda (lemon-lime, orange, strawberry, whatever the fuck flavor Mountain Dew is, and anything else) as their chasers/mixers when they visit for parties and it works very well.

5. My fucking steel spine: i’m not a pussy and can take a shot without a chaser no problem. Get on my level motherfucker.

#I have a can of whipped cream next to me right now #because i have a drink with whipped cream vodka and lemon seltzer water #pro tip: whipped cream vodka is great with anything other than seltzer water #its fantastic with literally any soda #and is easy to take shots of #but my god unless you put it with barely any alcohol; don't do with the seltzer #its pretty fucking rough #but I'm also very sensitive to sweet things so take this with a grain of salt

@boburnham how dare you make a movie that makes me cry in the theater for almost half the running time. The old people next to me were laughing at how strongly I reacted to this movie lol. As someone who has struggled with anxiety for almost all my life #eighthgrade is the first piece of media that really captured my exact feelings all through grade school and even into college. I just wanted to hug @elsiekfisher and protect her though the whole movie because of how much she reminded me of me at that age. I REALLY love this movie please go see it if you haven't yet.

#this was gonna be an Instagram post #but i decided to post it here first because im too drunk to decide if its good enough or not #i love rhis movie tho holt shit #eighth grade #bo burnham #<3

I'm going to fucking kill my mother, i don't know how many fucking times I have to tell her she can't just fucking go through my thing to 'organise' my room. I may be 21 and living at home for a semester but I'm doing it for mental health reasons, specifically tied to a lack of personal space. And she should fucking know that better than anyone. Like you can't just move all my shit around when I'm gone for 4 fucking days. I can't tell you how many god damn things ive lost forever because she decided to 'organize' my shit. IT'S NOT ORGANIZING IF I DON'T KNOW WHERE ANYTHING IS AFTER! And she wonders why I'm mad at her constantly.

Letterkenny is one of, if not the best show that is playing right now on all TV world wide. And I'd say that at the fucking emmy's if I have to. It's the ficjign best and nothing can change that, fuckers.

#o would fucking die for jarded kesso #as.long as he keeps making this show #letterkenny #every single episode is god quality #like holy shit #check it out if you havent god commands you to #;*

Vol.... tron..... needda have more content pwease.

I wanna see how the paladins get back to earth. Yeah I may be a few months late but at least I got there eventually bby. Also I'm so invested in Shiro and Adam, because the allura/lotor romance got squashed pretty much immediately. And I'm thirsty for some solid romantic shit goddanm it. I hope lance and allura get together, they will both be so nice to each other and they deserve it. ALSO another DnD episode please, with Keith this time, please and thank you.

#voltron spoilers #my friend #karlsoppa #forced me and her sister to catch up on the dhow for the last few days #and it was so worth it holy shoots

Most handsome man on Earth:

Henry Cavill, even my dad agrees. He said after mission impossible that there was no way he was gonna be a good guy because he was so ruggedly handsome, and they cast him on purpose to make you want to love him, so that the betrayal was more of a surprise. I was amazed that my dad and I have the same taste in men.

#mission impossible spoilers #i guess #henry cavill could just say hi to me and i would start planning the wedding #he's the perfect male specimen #i spent half of the movie lusting over him #holy shoot

You could fucking set my breath on fire right now god damn

9

Funhaus, drunk driving a car in Finland once again

#i wove them

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