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Hello, This is my portfolio showcasing all my skills in the creative field. Here you will find writing, Art, and Photography. _____________________ To find specific post please use the links labeled Photography, Podcast Essay and Formal writing and Creative writing down below.

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TRAPPED - Screenplay

A woman must overcome her fear of the outside in order to fulfill her dying grandmother’s last wish.

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Letters.pdf

A college student grapples with normality of the sudden death of a close friend.

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Exploitation of black women: Is sex our sole purpose for media representation?

Women have always been a precarious subject when it comes to their portrayal in the media. Often in movies they are used as plot objects that serve to drive their male counterparts further in movies. However, the way they drive the plot is through their sexuality and sexual organs. Even when it comes the famous femme fatale genre the women have no agency the only way to encapsulate a man is through sex and helplessness. We see this in films such as Body Heat (Lawrence Kasdan 1981) although Matty Walker (Kathleen Turner) is considered a femme fatale she still must depend on her body to trap a man. She has no other skill or personality troupes that would allow her to outsmart a man, her charm solely based on what her vagina has to offer. Sexualization is a problem that all women seem to face when it comes to their portrayals.

The male gaze is a part of Mulvey construction in feminist theory. Since the film industry has always been a masculine dominated industry the way women are portrayed in media is often overly sexualized. Instead of focusing on a female character’s plot and character development the male gaze tends to focus on how the woman can serve the plot. The male gaze also has to do with the camera angle that women are filmed in. When watching television or a movie and even things such as anime or animated media when women appear on screen instead of focusing on their face a camera will cut to her breast or legs. The psyche of men and why they feel the need to portray women in such a perverse way not only is studied in feminist theory but also in psychoanalytic theory as well.  It is mentioned in our book Film Noir Reader on page 129 that men feel the need to view women objectively because the “male scopic desires must centre around control—never identification with or submission to the female.” (Silver) In all our films thus far there is an instance of the male gaze. The case with a lot of the women in noir films is that they are a plot drive for the male character and a romantic guise. This stereotype still affects the actresses in the movie industry today. I believe that the femme fatale character was birthed in response to the male gaze. The femme fatale uses her sexuality to her advantage in getting what she wants from the lusty male characters.  However, when it comes to black women in films, they seem to be hyper sexualized. This is not a practice that originated in filmography the over sexualization of black women goes back to slavery.

History holds many stories of black women being over sexualized. While taking a Gender Studies class we learned that when white colonist explored Africa, they often viewed black women as masculine beings who needed to be feminized through the act of sex. It was not just the masculinity they felt was appealing though. “The minimal amounts of clothing worn by Africans (appropriate in a hot climate), the fact that some tribes practiced polygamy, and the seemingly suggestive tribal dances led these Europeans to believe that Africans were sexually lewd.” (BlackBurnCenter) this was also used as a justification during slavery. During the period of chattel slavery black women were often raped and impregnated by their white slave masters because they were rare and exotic beauties. Based on research that was often based heavily in racism black women were portrayed as being sexually insatiable and heavily promiscuous. Due to the laws and slaves being considered as property black women could not be raped however if a black man was found having sexual relations with a white woman whether consensually or not, they could be put to death.This hyper sexualization is not exclusive to slavery though. Black women are known to have fuller figures than other races: fuller lips, wider hips, curly hair, and an overall curvier figure. This led to them being a popular collective item for human zoos. Sarah Bartmen is the most famous example of this. She was exploited in a freak show during the 19th century due to her abnormally large buttocks.

Ideas about black women were passed down and subconsciously led to a lot of sexual abuse. Even the black community itself feels as though black women are sexual deviants denying many black women their childhoods. “Approximately 60% of Black girls experience by age 18/For every Black woman that reports her rape, at least 15 Black women do not report.” (End Rape on campus ) as sexual assault is purportedly is more likely to be committed by someone you’re familiar with— which in the black community would a black man It is theorized that black women are less likely due to a practice during slavery. As aforementioned a black man convicted of sexual assault of a woman (both and white) was likely to be put to death. Due to race solidarity a black woman would not report being raped to protect her fellow black men. In the black community black girls who reach puberty at an earlier age than others are thought of as fast or promiscuous regardless if they are a Virgin or not. The boys are told to stay away from them, and they are shunned simply because they have achieved puberty at an earliest age than other girls. Many black girls are assumed to be older than they are and accused of lying of their age when being harassed by Men in the community. This maturity also leads to them being more likely to be taken advantage of.

These ideologies are passed down through generations and enacted subconsciously. This can be seen when we watch films and media that have black women as characters. Even when they are not seen they are mentioned. In the film Reservoir Dogs the element of racism is not hidden by the way the characters speak about black people “You guys are acting like a bunch of niggers.” (Tarentino) What is more surprising though is the scene where the characters are in the car discussing the taboo of being attracted to a masculinized black woman. They view black women as dangerous to try and treat badly unless your black man is only doing it to gain notoriety in public. They then go on to discuss an attractive black waitress who was a ‘maneater’' and every guy [who] ever laid his eyes on her had to jack off to her at least once.” (Tarentino) These comments suggest that why black women are dangerous they also fetishize them. Tarentino has stated himself that he did not write the dialogue in the movie in the way he and his friends trade casual banter. He has also stated: “"I don't think the word is offensive in the context of this film ... Black artists think they are the only ones allowed to use the word. Well, that's bull.” in response to his casual usage of racial slurs and racial epithets. Suggesting that black people are overly sensitive when it comes to racial slurs in the media.

           Another instance of over sexualization in noir films is in the movie One False Move. One of the main characters is a mixed black woman which due to the issue of colorism, makes her significantly more attractive and appealing to the men around her. However, the potential of her character is wasted.  Fantasia was supposed to be femme fatale because she had stolen their money and ran off to star city however she seemed to be just along for whatever any guy wanted to do with her. Instead of coming off as a dangerous and sexy femme fatale she is used as an expendable by her boyfriend. She comes off as a jezebel whose only purpose is to use her sexuality against the cop chasing them so that her boyfriend can make a clean escape. Which is sad because black women never get to use their sexuality in a movie as a weapon the same way white female characters do. Their sexuality is over masculinized as seen in Reservoir dogs or they come off as a jezebel type character.

           The way the media portrays women is dangerous however the way it portrays black women is even more dangerous. Instead of being a femme fatale black woman are often shoved into two categories both which will lead to their oversexualization and for them to be considered promiscuous. While black women in noir films are rare most of the time their appearance warrants racism and sexual harassment from the men around them.

Works cited:

“Survivor of Color Prevalence Rates.” END RAPE ON CAMPUS, endrapeoncampus.org/new-page-3.

“The Historical Roots of the Sexualization of Black Women and Girls.” Google, Google, www.google.com/amp/s/www.blackburncenter.org/single-post/2019/02/20/The-Historical-Roots-of-the-Sexualization-of-Black-Women-and-Girls.

Samuel L. Jackson Blasts Spike Lee For Criticizing Him For Using 'N-Word' in 'Jackie Brown'". Jet. March 9, 1998

“Phantom Lady, Cornell Woolrich, and the Masochistic Aesthetic.” Film Noir Reader, by Alain Silver and James Ursini, p. 129.

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How Dystopian literature may have predicted a grim future: A Covid-19 survival guide made just for U.S?

           3000BCE, the 1300s, the 1700s, and the 1900s all have something in common. They are all years that a deadly pandemic devastated a nation. As time goes on it is starting to slowly look as though we can add 2020 to that list due our newest friend: Covid-19. It has begun wreaking havoc on our medical system. It has caused students to lose the ability to attend schools normally instead forcing learning through online or paper modules. High schoolers have lost prom while college students have lost the ability to have a proper commencement ceremony to commend graduating. Worse of all, about 2million Americans have lost their jobs causing negative consequences for our economy which forced our government to issue stimulus checks to keep money circulating. With no end or cure in sight, the government unwillingly has done they only thing they can to protect its citizens: issued a stay at home order. Perhaps there was something we could have done or a guide we could have used to protect ourselves from heading towards this future that looks more and more dystopian each day?  Dystopian literature is a genre that has been predicting infectious new diseases and their many consequences, most notoriously zombie apocalypses, for almost as long as they have been around.  It may be time that we regarded them as more than works of good fun and entertainment and look at them as survival guides if we want to make it through this coronavirus outbreak.

The concept of zombies originated from the Haitian voodoo religion. They were thought to be the creation of “a bokor or witch doctor [who could] render their victim apparently dead and then revive them as their personal slaves, since their soul or will has been captured. The zombie, in effect, is the logical outcome of being a slave: without will, without name, and trapped in a living death of unending labor.” (Luckhurst) After the Haitian slaves won their freedom from the French it was not long before other countries took interest in Haiti and its traditions. According to Luckhurst, after the revolution America briefly occupied Haiti which led to the concept of zombies being introduced to the western world. What was once a sacred religious folklore became tainted by American ‘modernization’. In 1929 The Magic Island written by W.B. Seabrook, a self-proclaimed negrophile who was initiated into Voodoo giving him a ‘firsthand’ account of the tradition, gave the western world the earliest appearance of zombies in literature. It was so successful that in 1932 Edward Halperin produced the movie White Zombie, the story of a young woman’s transformation into a zombie by a voodoo master. It was based on the popular novel The Magic Island. These new literary masterpieces soon spawned a movement which produced some of our favorite zombie movies such as Night of the Living Dead, Resident Evil, and Pet Sematary. At first zombie movies were produced so that someone could get a good scare with their friends, but they soon took a more comedic turn. Although these movies seemed to all be created with lighthearted intentions for some the concept of a zombie was nothing to joke about.

The Center for Disease Control (CDC) takes the threat of a zombie apocalypse incredibly serious. Around 2011 they warned Americans of the possible threat of a zombie apocalypse even going as far as releasing a graphic novel on how to handle yourself in a world ending event. The release of this plan caused a lot of criticism from American citizens due to the government's inability to properly and effectively handle the Ebola outbreak that had occurred around the same time. Although the administration defended the creation of their guide by reassuring us it could be used as a proxy for other worrying events. By using this guide citizens could learn things such as how to handle other infectious diseases, how to defend themselves from ‘zombies’ or looters, and even how to properly construct an emergency kit but until recently it has always been thought of as a guide that was just for giggles and a waste of government funding & resources. Since the outbreak of Covid-19 the CDC’s zombie preparedness plan has once again resurfaced. “Based on the projected infection rate of Covid-19 the CDC has predicted four possible outcomes for our future: a zombie apocalypse, the needed pause, a Global Heath Awakening, or finally A great despair.” (Inayatullah). This is alarming because this strand of the coronavirus while new was not expected to be something that would cause a black swan event or an unpredictable event that is beyond what is normally expected of a situation and has potentially severe consequences. (Chappelow). In fact, a coronavirus was one of the diseases on the list that would end up causing an emerging infectious disease. There are several reasons for this. The first is that a single strand RNA virus is more likely to mutate quickly leaving scientist unprepared to cure or deal with it effectively. The second being that viruses that stem from animals have been the main cause of debilitating world plagues: the black death caused by rats, Malaria by Mosquitoes, and Influenza by a multitude of animals. The familiarity with these sorts of diseases has caused numerous people to disregard the dangers of Covid-19.

The stay at home order enacted by the United States government has caused protest from numerous citizens who wish to resume their normal everyday life. “SARS-CoV causes a serious form of pneumonia that can also be life-threatening. Globally, it killed 774 people between 2002 and 2004. No other cases have been reported worldwide since.” (Sandee) Many feel that since coronavirus is such a familiar batch of viruses, as it has caused MERS, SARS, the common cold, and the flu which have all been contained quickly by the government, that this virus will be dealt with equally. Although given the current response it does not seem as though this will be the case. As familiar as these diseases may seem there is a reason that the CDC has named this one more probable of causing a zombie outbreak as opposed to the others that we are seemingly so familiar with. While some symptoms do resemble the flu, covid-19 is far more deadly. The physical symptoms such as shortness of breath and inability to breathe do a lot of damage on the infected but also the virus has potentially done more social and economic damage then the flu. Covid-19 has the potential to overwhelm our hospitals and their workers, infect 60% of the world’s population, and force our economy into an economic downturn.  It spreads quickly and silently with symptoms not appearing for at least two weeks after initial infection. It is also biased against those who are elderly or immunocompromised making them more likely to die than any other infected group. Yet the thing that makes this virus the most dangerous is that it is novel or new, therefore there is no herd immunity nor vaccinations that can prevent it nor protect against it. All these factors coupled together make this virus a recipe for a zombie outbreak.

In 2016 the film Train to Busan was awarded as the first Korean film to break the audience record of over 10 million theatergoers. (Byun) This also made it one of the highest grossing zombie films at the time. The film is about a father who must take his daughter to Busan because she wishes to spend her birthday with her mother. When the father-daughter pair board the train to Busan the apocalypse begins, and an infected zombie slips aboard infecting and killing most of the passengers. The father protects his daughter but due to the selfish actions of On-Suk, a passenger who wants to save himself at the expense of many others, he must sacrifice himself to ensure that his daughter and the only other survivor, a pregnant woman, are able to make it to Busan safely. Although the movie is heart breaking what we should take from it is how the virus that causes its outbreak is explored.

We learn around the midway mark of the movie that the outbreak is a result of a leak that occurs at a biological factory in the South Korean countryside. Although the movie never shows whether the leak traveled through the air or the water or other ways of contact, we do know that the virus from the leak traveled far enough to infect almost the entirety of Seoul in one day.  There are many parallels between the virus that caused the outbreak in the movie and the real-life virus that is currently causing a worldwide pandemic.  It only took a short time for Covid-19 to spread from China to the entire world almost mirroring the movie. Another important aspect of the movie that mirrors real life is how the character On-Suk selfishly caused dozens of deaths while trying to save his own life. This mirrors not only events in Korea but also around the world. Upon the announcement of the virus many people flocked to the stores hoarding essential supplies such as masks, toilet paper, and milk among other things. Many infected people carried on in their daily lives knowingly infecting those around them. Not only is the movie mirroring many real-life events, the promotional posters of the sequel movie also reflect many of the real-life effects the coronavirus had on Korea. For the first time ever, Seoul, a city that depends heavily on public transportation & walking and social gatherings to survive left the streets barren as many locked themselves inside as a means of protection from the virus. As seen in these posters, the streets are abandoned because people want to avoid being zombified. This also not only copies the self-interest of people who want to protect themselves  in real life but also the way the Korean government enforced a stay in place order and mandatory curfews. As the movie shares many similarities in the way the virus has spread and affected everyday life had we investigated it closer we might have been able to prevent a potential disaster.

Train to Busan is not the only movie that we should pay attention to though. World War Z also shares many similarities with the current coronavirus outbreak (as unfortunately this is not the first one). In the popular movie, that is based off the novel of the same name, the government fails to properly assess an out of country outbreak leaving the United States unprepared when it finally hits. Our reality seems to match what happened in the fictional version of the United States closely. Our government ignored the threat of covid-19 because it was far away in China and ‘unlikely’ to spread from there. This ignorance had devastating effects on both the citizens and the government when it finally touched our country. This is not the only instance of similarities this movie shares with us though. The virus in the movie that turns people into zees, the novel's unique name for zombies, is called Solanum and like the coronavirus it originates in China before it spreads enough to infect the entire world. The movie and the book also touch on how China’s government attempted to cover up the spread of the virus. There also was a lot of false information about how to cure or stop the spreading of the virus being passed around in both the movie and reality. These instances are so close to what is happening in the States that it is frightening. Something the US could have learned from both this movie and Train to Busan is that paying attention to things that are happening in other countries is important. Had the government acted as soon as they noticed things were awry in China and increased the production of essentials, started studying cures for the virus, and started testing quicker then maybe our country would not be leading the world in deaths and lack of testing. Not only are the effects of being unprepared important lessons this book teaches us it also has another hidden message. During the movie we see the main character display attributes of “intellectual curiosity and suppleness.” Which led him to discovering a cure for becoming a ‘Zee’. (Rosenberg) The same way our first responders and medical researchers are studying for a cure to be found now. Since these movies share many similarities with real world virus outbreaks, we should not only use them to study possible zombie apocalypses but also as a guide to cure this deadly virus.

Zombie movies are not only matching the cause and effect of Covid-19 they may also be a clue on how to solve the outbreak so that we can resume our normal lives. Contagion which was released in 2011-- as confirmed by its writers-- tried to warn us about this grim future. As such this film has resurged in popularity due to the panic surrounding Covid-19. The film follows a virus that can spread from human to human. The health officials and a regular family man must try to find patient zero so that they can contain the disease and they find a cure for it. Like the other movies mentioned, it resembles the crisis we are dealing with very closely but unfortunately our real-life pandemic is not as easily solvable as it was in the movie. This movie like World War Z has its deadly virus originate from China, an oddly recurring location in film and real life for a virus outbreak. “In ‘Contagion’, a bat drops a piece of a fruit, which is eaten by a pig. That pig is then slaughtered for consumption, passing on a virus to humans.” (Tucker) this mirrors how officials think the coronavirus initially spread: by consumption of a Pangolin which may have eaten a bat in a Chinese wet market which explaines how the animal was originally infected. The movie spends a lot of time trying to locate patient zero because they are the key to tracing the source of the outbreak. Watching this movie gave even regular people the knowledge that patient zero is crucial to curing and researching a novel outbreak. Contagion has also been an omen in the same way World War Z was, both movies warned us about the dangers of being under prepared and having bad leadership.  The movie does a great job at teaching us many lessons that are more than “In order to find and cure a virus, you must locate patient zero.”, it’s teaching us “audacity and self-sacrifice” something that our President, Trump, did not do.( Rosenberg)Another tale that teaches about audacity and self-sacrifice is The Handmaid’s Tale.

The Handmaid’s Tale seems to be the last book what would mirror a worldwide pandemic, but it does. While a zombie apocalypse is not a driving factor of this novel it still contains foreshadowing that could have stopped this pandemic from getting as out of control as it currently has.  In the novel the city is ravaged by disease and environmental disasters leading to it becoming remade as a totalitarian state. Around the world this slowly seems to have started happening in real life. According to Bogost several countries have implemented authoritarian tactics to keep their citizens inside during mandatory stay at home orders, curfewing, and lockdown. In China facial recognition, phone data, and helmet-mounted thermal cameras have helped authorities control the outbreak. Israel has started tracking the cellphones of infected people. Italy has locked down its entire country and when the police catch someone outside, they arrest them. Meanwhile in France in order to free roam the streets a signed travel pass designating that someone is doing something essential is needed.  The United States is not far behind while they are not arresting citizens for leaving their house there is a mandatory stay in place order and many businesses that have been deemed non-essential have been ordered to close. Citizens of many eastern and western countries are being ‘advised’ to not leave the house without facial coverings. This has led to citizens protesting these tough restrictions, especially in the United States. Ironically, many protestors have taken to wearing the Handmaid’s clothing while chanting “my body my choice” to protest the ‘authoritarian’ restrictions the government has placed on its citizens. It all seems straight out of a dystopian novel, mirroring the way the Handmaid’s are the one that are deemed essential and forced to work despite the cruel effects of the environment that have ravished the land they once called home. The citizens of this state are not allowed to speak to each other or meet up to hang out just like our social distancing protocols. We are unable to meet up with our friends due to socializing not meeting the social distancing guidelines of staying 6 feet apart from each other. Health care works and first responders much watch over the country heroically as if they are the guardians of The Handmaid's Tale. The longer we stay in this quarantine the more we seem to be heading toward a familiar dystopian future whether it be a zombie apocalypse or totalitarian government regime  

“They tried to warn us. In their television dramas, they sought to depict the most chillingly dystopian scenarios they could imagine — terrifying alternate realities in which life as we knew it had been devastated by revolutions, plagues, technology run amok or hordes of bloodthirsty zombies.” (Itzkoff) In 2019 a deadly virus wreaked havoc on Wuhan, China. It was like nothing anyone had ever seen before as it caused many to rapidly fall ill with shortness of breath and difficulties breathing. Soon the virus spread from China and quickly into neighboring countries before reaching the western part of the world. Many accused the Chinese government of covering the virus up and that because of these cover ups a cure for this virus could be delayed into next year. Now due the spread of the virus schools has been shut down, many people have lost their jobs, and many cities across the world have issued a stay in place order. This may sound like a new situation for most of us however if we look closely, we have dealt with this time after time before in both our favorite literary works and movies. They have tried to teach us vital lessons for surviving pandemics, but both the government and its citizens ignored them in favor of viewing them as simple good-natured entertainment. However now as this pandemic rages on many of these dystopian novels have forced their way back into the spotlight reminding us of the lessons, we have failed to learn from them. Maybe we should have paid deeper attention to these novels as now it is a possibility that our society is in danger of becoming a dystopia itself.

  Works cited:

Bogost, Ian. “When the Checkpoints Come.” The Atlantic, Atlantic Media Company, 19 Mar. 2020, www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2020/03/coronavirus-police-state-america/608365/.

 Byun, Hee-won. "Korean Movies Prove Box-Office Gold". The Chosun Ilbo. Chosun Media.

Chappelow, Jim. “Black Swan.” Investopedia, Investopedia, 11 Mar. 2020, www.investopedia.com/terms/b/blackswan.asp.

Inayatullah, Sohail, and Peter Black. “Neither A Black Swan Nor A Zombie Apocalypse: The Futures Of A World With The Covid-19 Coronavirus * Journal of Futures Studies.” Journal of Futures Studies, 18 Mar. 2020, jfsdigital.org/2020/03/18/neither-a-black-swan-nor-a-zombie-apocalypse-the-futures-of-a-world-with-the-covid-19-coronavirus/

 Itzkoff, Dave. “They Create Nightmare Worlds for TV. Now They're Living in One.” The New York Times, The New York Times, 29 Mar. 2020, www.nytimes.com/2020/03/29/arts/television/westworld-handmaids-tale-virus.html.

 Luckhurst, Roger. “Culture - Where Do Zombies Come from?” BBC, BBC, 31 Aug. 2015, www.bbc.com/culture/story/20150828-where-do-zombies-come-from.

 Rogers, Kristen. “'Contagion' vs. Coronavirus: The Film's Connections to a Real Life Pandemic.” CNN, Cable News Network, 2 Apr. 2020,

 Rosenberg, Alyssa. “Opinion | Coronavirus Is a Nightmare. These Stories Tell Us How to Survive - and Rise above It.” The Washington Post, WP Company, 12 Mar. 2020, www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2020/03/12/coronavirus-is-nightmare-these-stories-tell-us-how-survive-rise-above-it/

 Sandee LaMotte, CNN. “What Is Coronavirus and Covid-19? An Explainer.” CNN Wire, 31 Mar. 2020. EBSCOhost, search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&AuthType=ip,shib&db=n5h&AN=BAQ4h_17e79fdd3094e04fa4f071a712d735b7&site=eds-live&scope=site.

 Tucker, Reed. “How the Movie 'Contagion' Perfectly Predicted the 2020 Coronavirus Crisis.” New York Post, New York Post, 21 Mar. 2020, nypost.com/2020/03/21/how-the-movie-contagion-perfectly-predicted-the-2020-coronavirus-crisis/.

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Hawthorne and feminism: He wasn’t as much of a revolutionary as we thought.

Hawthorne is often regarded as an early feminist because of the rebellious women he wrote in many of his works. Such female characters are known to not adhere to the social guidelines that women at their time must follow. This makes them seem modernly progressive. However, there is still too many instances of misogyny in Hawthorne’s writing for him to be considered a true feminist. A common problem in literature is that whenever literary scholars encounter a story with a female character who goes against social norms, they automatically classify the work as a feminist piece. Scholars neglect what it truly means for something to be considered as feminist.

When it comes to feminism there are three waves with the 3rd being the most current. During Hawthorne’s time feminism had yet to be officiated as a movement but women like Fuller and Martineau were still fighting for the rights of the women around them. Since Feminism was still in its early stages the movement would come to be known as proto feminism as it preceded any type of feminism. Proto feminism although quite progressive for its time is nothing like the modern-day version we have today. Proto feminist do fight for equality although they do not exclusively label themselves as a feminist.  Also, the proto feminism of Hawthorne’s time was only applicable to women who were white. Black women and Native American women did not fit the moniker and were not considered people but rather property. Although some women like Margret Fuller were intersectional meaning, they fought for the rights of all women despite their skin color. Slavery did not end until 1865 and even then, the racisms that plagued the United States had not gone anywhere.

Despite how hard Fuller and her fellow proto feminist worked women still had no rights. They were politically powerless and forced to obey men. “The American experiment that began as a Republic after ratification of the Constitution created political, social, and economic participation for its citizens, but not for women. The status of women in the early 19th century was shaped by economic considerations, religious beliefs, and long-held notions of female inferiority. While poor, laboring women suffered the most, the characteristics of inequality were evident in all social classes.” (Wunder) During this time the value of women was based on whether she was married and who she was married to. They were also expected to be homemakers although depending on her social class some women would take to working low paying jobs to support their husbands. Hawthorne despite being a man wrote women who did not follow the rules of their husbands.

The Birthmark was written in 1843. It follows a woman whose husband sees her birthmark as the only imperfect feature of her and wishes to remove it from her face. On the surface the tale seems to be about the beauty of a woman and a man who is in love with his wife but upon closer inspection Hawthorne writes about sexual desire and controlling women. Many people consider this tale feminist because while it does not exclusively fight for a woman’s civil rights it does tell of the consequences that are faced when women do not have control of their bodies. "The Birthmark demonstrates the consequences to women of being trapped in the laboratory of man's mind, the object of unrelenting scrutiny, examination, and experimentation," (Fetterley 32). Hawthorne makes us realize that when you overly influence a woman with your own views of how she should exist then it will lead to her demise or soil the woman. His character Aminadab does a good job portraying this. He warns Georgianna to leave his face alone as it will ruin the thing that makes her herself. This one warning is in a way symbolic of a man who believes in letting a woman have a choice although he is ultimately defeated by the social guidelines that are in place. This can be related to modern day problems as many men wish for women to change themselves to be perfect. Some men are fine with the way a woman chooses to portray themselves. Often though the negative criticism of a woman will often win.

This tale is not feminist for several reasons. For one it is still littered with misogyny. Although Georgiana’s worth is not based on her marriage it is instead based on the beauty of her face. In fact, since she has a blemish on her face her husband sees this as her only imperfection and strives to get rid of it. He, in a dream, approaches her with a knife in order to carve the mark out of her face.

He also still has control over her both physically and mentally. “‘The mark has so often been called a charm that I was simple enough to imagine it might be so.’/ ‘on another face it might," answered her husband, "but not on yours. No dear, Nature made you so perfectly that this small defect shocks me as being a sign of earthly imperfection.’” These comments are a form of control because they influence the way Georgianna feels about herself. In fact, Aylmer’s disdain for the birthmark allows for him to be able to control his wife’s physical looks. The need to shape her face consumes him “, the birthmark caused him more pain than Georgiana's beauty had ever given him pleasure.” he feels the need to influence her body so much that he dreams of carving the birthmark out of her face. His obsession with needing her to be perfect and controlling her appearance quite literally leads to her death.  

           In addition to being in control of her body and appearance he also constantly demonstrates his intelligence to her. This may not seem like a huge deal as in modern days we are aware of how some men like to parade their intelligence around and ‘mansplain’ concepts to women. However, in the 18th century this was a big deal because women were not allowed to receive a formal education. “In 1839, she began overseeing her Conversations series: classes for women meant to compensate for their lack of access to higher education.” (Simmons) Margret Fuller was a prominent figure in fighting for women’s education during the 18th century. While women worked towards receiving the right for equal education men fought heavily against it believing a woman's job was to be a homemaker. So, in The Birthmark Aylmer’s constant gloating of being a scientist is like a slap in the face to Georgina. She is forced to trust him to remove the birthmark from her face as she has no knowledge of science. He also puts his love for science above his wife showing that she is nowhere near as valuable as having an education.  It is interesting though that he assures his wife that he can cure the birthmark on her face and make it perfect yet in the end his science fails him. Some would argue that this is Hawthorne’s way of enacting the consequences of treating women as though they are less than however, I would argue that is not the case. By Georgianna’s death Aylmer does make her perfect but because the birthmark was her only imperfection, she is now too perfect to continue existing on a mortal plane.

           While several of Hawthorne’s female characters do not adhere to male social guidelines that does not make them characters that we should idolize. Hawthorne’s writing is still littered with misogyny. In the Birthmark Aylmer is only obsessed with the idea of Georgina’s perfection and does not actually value his wife. His obsession leads to her death. To me this tale is not revolutionary and does not teach any lessons; it is just a story of faults and idolizations. Hawthorne is not a feminist or revolutionary he is just a storyteller of the romantic era. These stories were often plagued with unfortunate endings, so it is not unusual that tragedy ensured at the end of this tale. I doubt that Hawthorne was trying to make his story into a feminist novella but rather just trying to tell an interesting story.

  Works cited:

   Fetterley, Judith. "The Resisting Reader: A Feminist Approach to American Fiction." The Resisting Reader. MB- 247 (1978): 22-43. Journal of American Studies. Print. 

Hawthorne, Nathaniel. The Birthmark.

Simmons, Nancy Craig (1994). "Margaret Fuller's Boston Conversations: The 1839-1840 Series". Studies in the American Renaissance: 195–226. JSTOR 30227655

Wunder, Christopher. “Christopher Wunder.” World History, 27 June 2017, worldhistory.us/american-history/womens-status-in-early-19th-century-america.php.

[adaralondon]

What’s the Tea Geoffrey: Was the Canterbury Tale Chaucer’s diary?

       Known as the father of English literature Chaucer is a man of many words. Not only that, he was a rule breaker using Middle English Vernacular, the slang of peasants, to present his writings to the upper class who preferred the debonair of the Latin and French languages. This was a bold and controversial move for someone who was a member of parliament. Although he used English as his choice language Chaucer still managed to produce over fourteen widely popular books, but his most notable work is The Canterbury Tales. It contains twenty-four tales told by thirty different pilgrims, but he originally planned for it to include 124 stories in total. Unfortunately, all 124 planned stories were unable to be completed due to his untimely death which left many of the tales he had already started incomplete. The Canterbury Tales however is not only interesting because it contains such a vast amount of tales but also because one man was able to write so many stories that gave each character in their respective tale a different personality. However, upon closer inspection the stories may not be as unique as we originally thought. Many details mirror events that happened in Chaucer’s real life. The Wife of Bath’s Tale mirrors several aspects of his raptus accusations or as we know it as in modern day and age: Rape or kidnapping, from Cecily Champagne. The Franklin’s Tale is famously thought to be a tale about his marriage to the Queen’s lady in waiting, Philippa Roet. His close friend John of Gaunt also makes a few appearances yet they are notoriously negative. John was thought to be a usurper of Chaucer’s marriage as reflected in The Merchant’s Tale. Since we have very limited biographical records when it comes to Chaucer’s life this paper can only be taken as speculation but I will support my claims using the evidence I’ve collected from searching through his writings, the limited biographical records we do have, and numerous scholarly sources. Through my paper I will answer the question: Is it possible that Chaucer used The Canterbury Tales as a method of therapy so he could vent about traumatic experiences without being judged, confined, or imprisoned? I will also provide proof as to why I believe my stance in the argument, that he did use The Canterbury tales as some sort of journal, is not as farfetched as it seems.

Therapy in the 14th century was nothing like the services we are provided now. Today you can book an appointment with a licensed therapist and discuss your problems confidentially. The therapist isn’t going to consider you a nutcase for speaking your mind and the only way you will get sent to the asylum is if you threaten to harm yourself, others, or are an immediate danger. People who lived in the 14th century did not have this luxury. According to several sources (Preceden, Schwartz, and Burton) The first mental health symptoms were identified in 500bce and were listed as mania, melancholia, dementia, hysteria, delusions, and hallucinations. These symptoms are even noted in the bible. In 1 Samuel 16:14:23 there is a verse that states: “And it came to pass, when the evil spirit from God was upon Saul, that David took [a] harp, and played with his hand: so Saul was refreshed, and was well, and the evil spirit departed from him.”(Bible Gateway) showing that these symptoms were not unknown to even the most inspirational of figures.

Although we look at these as signs of mental illness the perception of what is classifies as such has always changed with the century it is identified in. During 500bce scholars like Plato and Socrates considered madness “the gift of heaven, [that] is the channel by which we receive the greatest blessings… madness comes from God, whereas sober sense is merely human.” Suggesting that most creatively talented people dealt with some sort of mental aliment that benefited their work in ways people who are neurotypical could have not imagined. Not every scholar thought that “madness” was a blessing though. Mental health was typically looked at from two different angles. As aforementioned, it could be thought of as a gift that was received from the Gods as many mental illnesses are known to have inspired some of the best modern artistic talents. Van Gough, Beethoven, and Munch were all known to suffer from some sort of affliction yet are still considered some of our greatest artist. The second view of mental illness was more cynical. It was thought of as a divine punishment, demonic possession, or wildly enough “an imbalance of [the] four bodily fluids or humors”. Since there were not what we considered therapist and psychiatrist in those days’ things thought to be caused by religion were often dealt with by religion. Most of the time the cures that dealt with these afflictions often were based in mysticisms: trepanation where a ‘doctor’ would drill a hole into the skull to release the ‘demon’ or ‘sprit’ inside of one’s being or hydrotherapy which would be akin to a Jesus like baptism and often times included crucifixion in its usage.

It was not until a year after Chaucer’s death in 1401 that next thoughts of where trauma and mental illness spawned from were formed: Christianity. In the 1400s Mental health issues were thought to have come from practicing witchcraft which would make converting to Christianity the lesser evil as opposed to being accused of being a witch and burned alive. Two years later though things had started to move away from religion and towards more ‘realistic’ treatments. The first mental health institution was opened in 1403 but during that time treatment would have still been considered inhumane to modern day people. If diagnosed with an aliment the treatment was little more than being restraint in a strayjacket. (Britannica). However inhumane the treatments were they were still vast improvements to what was available during the 13th century. Unfortunately, these things had only become available after Chaucer’s death meaning that he would never be able to experience the improvements in health care.

During the medieval ages those who did not believe in the church or its teachings did not have much to lean on. Chaucer who was a non-believer and whose life contained multiple exiles, kidnapping, the death of his wife & several of his children, and the loss of his position in the royal court did not have many places he could go to relieve stress. Given his circumstances and the effect they would have had on his mien Chaucer would more than likely have been accused of witchcraft or be admitted to an asylum (had these options been available) but since he did not trust the church enough to use the confessionals which at the time were akin to what we considered a modern-day therapist there was not much hope for him. As a practicing Christian or catholic, citizens were supposed to be able to go to the church and confess anything with it being considered 100% confidential. Yet given the way Chaucer writes his characters that play ‘vital’ church roles the confessional did not seem to be the best choice to entrust secrets to. Since the church was not a source of comfort for Chaucer, he was left with one option albeit one familiar, friendly, and that would never betray him: Writing.

Writing has been a therapeutic source for as long as people have had written language. Many writers subconsciously voice their problems to their audience throughout their work. “Self-1 acts as the main character as well as an involved narrator, while Self-2 acts as the narrator, listener, and counselor, and life narratives usually appear as a dialogue between these two selves. Self-1 and Self-2 merge when an epiphany occur in the author’s writing that allows him or her to make sense of life experiences.” (Yu) I can attest to this personally as a three-time published author when writing each of my books I noticed that a lot of my writing seemed to mirror experiences that had happened to me. I was not intentionally incorporating these events into my writing and I had not noticed that I was doing it. Once I started to proofread, I noticed all the topics I was writing about sounded familiar. It was like I was having a conversation with two versions of myself. One person was explaining the things that happened to them and the other person was listening and acting as a counselor. After I had written these experiences down, I felt immensely better as though a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. “Studies have found that most people feel happier and healthier after writing about deeply traumatic memories.” (Pennebaker) Proving that writing therapy has healing effects and may even be therapeutic for those who have no where else to turn.  Although some people may argue Chaucer did not use The Canterbury Tales as a therapist there is no way to explicitly prove this. No one has a complete biographical record of his life and what we do have is fragmented containing only bits and pieces of his life which leaves a lot to speculation. Many writers would argue that writing therapy is often subconscious, and they are not aware most of the time that the therapy session is taking place. Also, as mentioned previously since a substantial amount of Chaucer’s records are missing from history no one can make a case for either side and claim it as completely true. Upon my close inspection though, I have noticed that there are several events in The Canterbury Tales that mirror Chaucer’s life so I can argue that he did use the book as his own personal confessional.

Perhaps one of the most infamous moments of Chaucer’s life was when he was accused of rape by Cecily Champagne. The exact term used is the Latin word raptus which could mean several things such as to seize or to force sexual acts unto someone. (Glosbe) Like most terms not every word translates directly into modern English; words are known to shift meaning quite frequently so there is not any exact way for us to know which version of the act Chaucer was accused of. Even scholars have debated exactly which usage of the word Chaucer was charged with but since it was known to be a common occurrence in legal documentation scholars have narrowed down the argument a lot. “The nature of the offence is made clear by the use of the two words 'rapuerunt et abduxerunt'. When raptus or forms of the verb rapere are used alone, it seems they must mean rape.” (Pearsall). It is unknown if Chaucer kidnapped Cecily Champagne or sexually forced himself on her but given what we can see from the knight in The Wife of Bath’s Tale its highly possible that Chaucer was accused of what we consider to be modern day sexual assault.

In modern times Rape has become trivialized, children yell out that they are being raped when being playfully touched by their classmates and women are villainized based on what they were wearing, drinking, and or where they were located. Rape has also started to become fetishized as seen by television, film, and pornography where women dream of being forced into sexual situations and the media highlighting rape scenes as a basis for the growth of women into a powerful being. However, in Chaucer’s time this was not the case because rape was treated as an extremely serious crime. The punishment for rape was “castration and blinding, and later [hanging].” (Lee) This is seen in The Wife of Bath’s Tale as King Arthur is ready to put the Knight to death: “that dampned was this knyght for to be deed.” (Chaucer L.891) King Arthur was attempting to carry out his duty in order to appease the woman whose maidenhead was stolen by the Knight, but strangely enough it is the women of the town and the queen that beg him not to punish the Knight. The Queen instead sends the knight on a quest to find out what is it that women truly desire to atone for his grievous sin. The woman who is raped is written out of the story and only mentioned once, not by name, and only in tandem with the Knight. The same way Champagne is written out of history after Chaucer pays her off. Also, the way the knight’s rape case is bartered by the women around him mirrors Chaucer’s friends support of him when he was accused. The rape accusations had no effect on Chaucer’s career as such the rape did not have any effect on the knight’s status as a hero of medieval literature as this is not the only instance of knights committing such heinous crimes. Although what makes the tale so interesting is that Chaucer writes this tale so casually given he has personal experience with being accused of rape. That isn’t to say that he wasn’t affected by the accusation mentally though, even though it had no effect on his career and is written so freely, being accused of rape is something that can ruin a person’s life health wise. “The mental health damage caused to wrongly convicted prisoners is similar to that suffered by veterans of war and torture survivors….A 2003 study conducted by the Life After Exoneration Program of sixty [falsely accused prisoners] found that nearly half were burdened by depression, anxiety disorders or post-traumatic stress disorder.” (Hoyle 13) The writing in The Wife of Bath’s Tale mirror the accusation from Cecily Champagne and the way his friends defended his name way too closely to just be coincidental. It is arguable that the accusations did have a substantial effect on his life and mental health especially since he was accused of rape in 1380 and the tales were written in 1400. This would mean he carried that trauma with him for about 20 years before releasing it on paper. In addition to being accused of rape another thing that would have stressed him out was his marriage to Phillipa Roet.

Chaucer’s wife Philippa Roet was of a much higher status then he was. Chaucer was born into a family of vintners meanwhile his wife was a lady in waiting for Elizabeth of Ulster, Queen Philippa, and Constance of Castile. The main characters of The Franklin’s Tale: Dorigen and Arveragus also have differences in class and ranking. Dorigen, like Roet comes from a higher born status and Arveragus must go through a set of tasks to win her love. When he does, they marry, and he agrees with her that they should be equals in private, but he should hold the power when it comes to public appearances. Even though Roet was of higher born status she was still a woman.

Women in the 13th century were thought of as property of their husbands. It is a common thought that women had no rights in their marriages, but this is not true. Women did have “the right to consent to marriage, the right to ask for marital debt or conjugal (sexual) duty, the right to leave a marriage when they either suspected it was invalid or had grounds to sue for separation, and finally the right to choose one's own place of burial, death being the point at which a spouse's ownership of the other spouse's body ceased.” (McDougall). However, these rights did not make them equal to their partners, women were still considered inferior in the eyes of the law and the court. Even if the woman was considered elite according to English law their husbands were still considered above them in terms of martial power. The duty of an upper-class woman was known to be “to obey their spouse, guard their virtue, produce offspring, and to oversee the operation of the household.” (Schaus) So, it is surprising that Arveragus offers Dorigen the opportunity to be equals, although we are not sure what that equality entails, even if it is private. One thing I noticed is that since this tale is perhaps the one that parallels Chaucer’s life the most, it is interesting that he chooses not to have Chaucer the Pilgrim tell this tale. Perhaps it was too painful to use his own character. Perhaps it is to hide that Chaucer’s marriage to Philippa may have been ‘corrupted’ by the foreign suitor: Aurelius who more than likely was based on her partner in adultery, John of Gaunt. This seemed to influence his mental health as his wife betrayed their sacred marriage vows and committed fornication with John of Gaunt who is generally considered to be one of his close friends.

It was not uncommon for John to pursue women as he was known to be quite the womanizer; meaning it would not be unusual for John to have pursued Roet. This tale suggests two things: Chaucer was aware of Gaunt’s pursuit of his wife and she did the honorable thing which would have been to reject his advances out of respect for her husband which in the story Dorigen rejects Aurelius’ pursuit of her. The second thing it suggest is that Chaucer was aware that she did indeed commit this horrible act but asked her to keep it a secret. In the tale there is a scene where Dorigen must make good on her promise to be with Aurelius since he completed his task for her while her husband was a way. Her husband commands her to keep it a secret and makes her keep her promise to Aurelius. “Dorigen can keep her promise to Aurelius, but Arveragus will kill her if she ever lets anyone find out that he has lost sexual control of her. Masculine pride in his public ownership of Dorigen is revealed here as the real bottom line of Arveragus's self-image, known cuckoldry the one outcome he cannot tolerate under any circumstances.” (Davis) Suggesting that Chaucer would not allow his wife’s blunder to influence his career.

There is quite a debate on whether Gaunt slept with Phillipa. Gaunt was married to Roet’s sister and an affair would have been considered incestuous but since public records regarding her infidelity are hard to come by no one can be sure. It is known that Chaucer’s son chose to take his mother’s coat of arms instead of his father’s suggesting that Chaucer may not have been his father at all. In fact, many scholars debate if Chaucer’s son was his own or if he was truly Gaunt’s son. “Given John of Gaunt's reputation for fornication, it is a distinct possibility that ‘the randy prince’ liked to tumble about with both sisters at the same time and that Chaucer's supposed son, Thomas was not the product of the poet's loins but was actually the son of John of Gaunt.” (Dartington Morris Men.) Due to the son wearing his mother’s insignia suggesting that he and Chaucer may not have been close possibly which would be likely if Chaucer was not truly his father.

Having to father a son that was not yours would more than likely be a significant cause of stress. It would have caused some tension between all three parties especially since given the events of The Franklin’s Tale Chaucer more than likely forbade his wife from discussing it. Although the law did permit that Chaucer could take revenge against Gaunt at any time: “the killing of a male adulterer by a male cuckold was not outlawed in secular law, leaving scope for lawful revenge-killing.” (Weinstein). Although revenge killing would have been way too risky given that Gaunt was a prince and if Chaucer killed him it would be revealed that his wife was unfaithful. The unfaithfulness of a wife would have shown that Chaucer was unable to maintain control of his ‘property’ causing him immense shame and staining his career. Having to keep a secret is known to influence mental health and one’s sense of self. The inability to do anything regarding his wife’s affair could be what led to the resentment of marriage that is shown in The Merchant’s Tale.

The final tale I would like to reference is The Merchant’s Tale. Since it was commonly thought that his wife was unfaithful and committed adultery with his close friend John of Gaunt. In medieval times men were expected to remain faithful to their wives but it was foolish for a man to expect his wife to be faithful back to him suggesting that Chaucer was aware of the fornication. Several of Chaucer’s tales focus on marriage but there are two that seem to mirror his own marriage closely one being The Franklin’s Tale and the other The Merchant’s Tale.

The prologue of The Merchant’s Tale starts with a negative view of women and marriage. “I have a wyf, the worste that may be/For thogh the feend to hire ycoupled were.” (Chaucer line 1218-1219) The Merchant believes that marriage is an atonement for past sins and belittles both his vows and his wife in front of the other pilgrims. January the character of the tale, is completely different than the one in the Merchant’s prologue, however. The tale itself begins with a favorable attitude regarding marriage as for some mysterious reason this honorable knight who had envied married men had avoided holy matrimony for so long. He describes being a bachelor as a painful thing and calls a wife “the best part of a treasure.” (Chaucer) He also notes that the thought of being married makes his heart swell with pride. With January’s view of marriage in such an opposition to the merchant’s, it is hard to know what side of the fence Chaucer himself stood on. It is thought that Chaucer knew his own wife was unfaithful but went back in forth between feeling as though he was a cuckhold-- ironically enough this exact word is used in the tale in line 1306  and once again in line 2256-- to feelings of anger.  This is important because historically we are unsure if Chaucer’s own marriage to Phillipa Roet was content or full of contempt. “Women didn't have a choice as to who they would marry and, most of the time, women didn't even know the man before they wed. However, men were sometimes able to choose their bride. Marriage back then was not based on love; most marriages were political arrangements.” (Medieval Times) Perhaps even the great and humble Chaucer himself saw marriage as something political and not for love as he had a substantial problem with the concepts of oaths. Also, regarding marriage for the purpose of financial and economic gain was not uncommon during the time. Chaucer could have used his marriage to Roet to gain higher status and a larger amount of royalties for his writing since writers were not paid well leading many to have to pick up secondary careers. Although , it may be possible given the way January speaks on marriage and so obviously turns a blind eye to witnessing his wife’s ludicrous act with another man that Chaucer was so in love with Phillipa that he was willing to overlook her infidelity.

In medieval times men were expected to remain faithful to their wives. Adultery was considered a crime under a monarchy that centered its laws around the bible. When laws were broken the court would subject them to a fitting punishment and punishments in the medieval times are nowhere comparable to the lenient jail time criminals can serve today. Depending on what crime was committed a person could be condemned to wear a badge designating what their crime was for their entire life. (Thorpe) or even worse, since torture was a favorite during this time, someone accused of cheating on their spouse would be put into a stock or a pillory and the stock would hold one by their ankles while the pillory was used for heads and wrist. (Medieval Chronicles). Although Chaucer thought it was foolish for a man to expect his wife to be faithful back to him. (Lumiansky) women were not exempt from being punished for adultery. The Leges Henrici Primi decreed that the King should have the executive authority to punish an adulterous man, and that adulterous women should be punished by bishops. (Weinstein). Although, ironically enough in The Manciple’s Tale, Chaucer warns women to be careful of unfaithful men. It is well known that Chaucer’s wife was an adulterer but, it is possible due to his wife being of higher status then him he didn’t have much room for complaint because if they were to be legally separated for any reason Chaucer would lose the higher status he had achieved. It is to be noted that this status was indeed revoked when Philippa, his wife, had passed on. Also, if Chaucer loved Phillipa he would not want her to receive the punishments that were attested to women when they were charged with the crime of adultery. “The codes of Cnut prescribed corporal mutilation for female adulterers—cutting off their nose and ears.” (Klinck).

Being conflicted on whether to turn his spouse over to the higher court and risk her punishment or letting her be free to cheat continuously would have caused Chaucer significant emotional stress. We see that infidelity in marriage is a common theme in almost all the marriage tales Chaucer writes. Furthermore, it is known the when a spouse is unfaithful it can have a significant impact on one’s health, “being the victim of infidelity can have serious consequences for a person's mental and physical health. The situation has been associated with depression, anxiety, and unhealthy coping…. some mental health professionals also believe there can be parallels with post-traumatic stress disorder.” (Millar) It is possible that since Chaucer could not turn her in nor did he believe in going to the church confessional that he internalized a lot of his anger and sadness and instead wrote his feelings into The Canterbury Tales, the safest place for them to be. I would also argue that he could safely express his feelings regarding the church because the tales were written in English and English vernacular, which at time would have been the language of peasants. Anything considerably worth reading at the time would have been presented in Latin and French the languages regarded worthy at the time. This would have allowed his to get away with quite a lot.

By the time Chaucer had started working on The Canterbury Tales he had been exiled from Europe. He was permitted to return years later and lived in the Close of the Collegiate Church of St Peter until his death in 1401. However, during exile he had lost his wife and several of his children died due to diseases that commonly plagued Europe at the time. After his wife died his social status was revoked and he was reduced to little more than a gardener. It is unknown how Chaucer died some say it was natural causes while other say he was murdered by enemies of Richard the second. Despite the chaos of his life I think that Chaucer did not die a miserable man. In his last moments he could speak his mind freely in his book allowing all the troubles he faced while he was alive to be translated onto paper. Many people may ask why a paper like this is important to explore when there are more pressing topics when it comes to Chaucer’s writing such as feminism, sexism, and queer theory. While those are indeed important looking at things from a psychoanalytic lens is equally important. As English majors I think it is important to look at Chaucer's work through a psychoanalytic lens because often we forget the writers exsist outside of their work. Chaucer was a person as much as he was a writer and it is important to acknowledge that he went through a lot in his life if we want to understand his work better. Realizing that authors are human takes them off the god pedestal our society has forced some of English's greatest writers-- such as Shakespeare -- and makes them feel more accessible to students and teachers alike. A topic like this is also important because it discusses the taboo subject of mental health which serves to further humanize English's favorite authors. As readers we like to think that our favorites were untouchable, Great literature makes us believe that these authors did not suffer through real life events and only exsist through their writing. I think that that is dangerous because struggles are what make people who they are. When we separate crucial events from our writers, we start to miss important points and topics that appear in their writing. Chaucer wrote The Canterbury Tales not only for our entertainment but also to express that he was not invincible. He was a man just like the rest of the world, who suffered just as much as the peasant class did. I can say that he did use his writing as a tool to express the anguish that appeared because there are too many events in The Canterbury Tales that mirror his real life to be coincidental. Scholars may debate this point but upon reading this essay I hope they research Chaucer’s life and see that the tales are more than just a way for him to poke fun at the church and throw a couple of sexual innuendos into a literary classic but also asway for a human man to express human suffering. It is important to realize that these people also had lives just like us so that we can have a better understanding of their works and they do not feel as untouchable as we allow them to now. It is a new phenomenon to include trauma in works of fiction as a way of therapy. Walter Dean Myers another famous writer was often encouraged by his teachers to use his writing to express himself. Van Gough was thought to have used The Scream to paint the storm he felt inside of himself. Chinua Achebe used his writing to express disdain for the British settlement and colonization in his home country of Nigeria. Geoffrey Chaucer was not the first man to use his works as his own personal therapist and he will not be the last.

 Works cited:

“BibleGateway.” 1 Samuel 16:14-23 KJV - - Bible Gateway, www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%2BSamuel%2B16%3A14-23&version=KJV.

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Hoyle, Carolyn. “The Impact of Being Wrongly Accused of Abuse in Occupations of Trust: Victims' Voices.” Oxford Law Faculty, 1 Oct. 2018, www.law.ox.ac.uk/research-and-subject-groups/impact-being-wrongly-accused-abuse-occupations-trust-victims-voice.

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Pearsall, Derek. The Life of Geoffrey Chaucer (1990), Pp, www.umsl.edu/~gradyf/chaucer/cecily.htm.

R. M. Lumiansky. “Chaucer and the Idea of Unfaithful Men.” Modern Language Notes, vol. 62, no. 8, 1947, p. 560. EBSCOhost, doi:10.2307/2908623.

Schaus, Margaret C., ed. (2006). Women and gender in medieval Europe: an encyclopedia. Routledge. ISBN 978-0415969444.

Schwartz, Larry, and AlterNet. “8 Horrific 'Cures' for Mental Illness Through the Ages.” Alternet.org, 26 Dec. 2014, www.alternet.org/2014/12/8-horrific-cures-mental-illness-through-ages/.

The Editors of Encyclopaedia Britannica. “Bedlam.” Encyclopædia Britannica, Encyclopædia Britannica, Inc., 13 Sept. 2013, www.britannica.com/topic/Bedlam.

Thorpe, JR. “9 Bizarre Medieval Punishments.” Bustle, Bustle, 28 May 2015, www.bustle.com/articles/86247-9-bizarre-medieval-punishments-from-wearing-a-bridle-to-suffocating-under-mud.

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Woolston, Chris. “Writing for Therapy Helps Erase Effects of Trauma.” CNN.com - Writing for Therapy Helps Erase Effects of Trauma - March 16, 2000, 16 Mar. 2000, web.archive.org/web/20041120093458/archives.cnn.com/2000/HEALTH/03/16/health.writing.wmd/.

[adaralondon]

Study of Mila the Beagle.

[adaralondon]

Of the Trial of Job

Do I have secrets

Do I want to make sure you’re free?

Nihilism sinks deeper

Wishing to reject God is your only peace

Don’t.

 That is your only freedom from this chaotic world

Yet the words in the Bible seem cold

And you feel like Job in abandonment

But Hebrews 13:5 states

"I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you,"

 Then why does it feel as though they’re just empty lies.

[adaralondon]

The Brokenness of Men

In servitude with attendance

Lust sings song hoping of love 

For second chances 

To come rescue it from a contused castle 

  He sits in darkness 

Griping at the stings of a knife’s forgiveness

The colors dripping from his palm amaze the sheets with how pigmented they are 

Who knew that the skin of a black man bleeds the same color, hurts the same way, cries the same tears 

As the rest of us 

   The name his father etched across his soul 

Beat in to his back with his missing presence 

Rings in his ears.

 His mother tells him his name’s important, that it means something about The Lord

He listens but he can’t hear his worth 

Can’t believe her words, because she stays in the same place hurting

but her hurt isn’t the same as his 

  The anger in remembering that his name is his keepsake 

The only thing that remains his

After struggling to take back his power

To find an identity that’s acceptable 

 After having it taken by force 

And absorbed into another woman’s essence 

 The words consent and innocence 

Play loudly in his ear 

Meanwhile the same thoughts play like a broken record 

 “Men go through it too.”

 “It’s not your fault.

 “I should have— “

 ENOUGH

 He doesn’t...refuses to think about this 

It easier to absorb pain in your being 

And let it define you 

Then to face it head on 

And let it be your saving grace 

  He holds a journal in his hand

Writing tears with pencils and pens

Instead of letting them flow freely across his face

 Brown skin glistens with the lust for the power that he lost

That he thought was stolen by unforeseen events 

By forsaken lips

Crying isn’t of men

But somehow he can’t help but feel the Need to let nature take its course 

Be shamed upon impact by his own mind 

So, tears stay behind the waterline 

 He is a man. Brutal and beaten

With misplaced rage, turning to God for answers that still haven’t been given.

His temple raided. Goods stolen 

Destroyed by skin that doesn’t match the color of his own 

Not a right, 

Not a good to colonized 

A service to be provided

Abstinence that wasn’t yours for forsaking 

  His skin sings songs of scars 

Read between the lines of self-harm 

Another form of cutting, thoughts of self-loathing 

  You're ugly 

You’re not good enough 

You don’t deserve to be loved 

You deserved everything that’s happened to you 

 A broken man torn between the sheets

Of the Virgin Mary’s son

His cloth stained with the same blood 

The blood that is supposed to wash sins clean 

But the filth lies on him forever etched into the same milk chocolate skin 

Left behind for other women to clean up 

Albeit slowly

 The crevices of his mind filter through to find answers 

 Did you mother know 

Or your brothers 

Confide in no one

because it’s the no one who understands you 

  Your power 

Your strength lies in things taken from you 

You let someone steal your virtue 

Someone as fragile as cloth

Someone who is significantly weaker than you

Why didn’t you fight back?  

 You should have 

You would have 

You. Couldn’t 

 Stop beating yourself up 

 Stop thinking 

 Just breath 

 And let the tears run down your face

 Because I’m right here with you 

[adaralondon]

Rose Gold Ashes

To strike venom into a heart of gold

It should be illegalized, considered a homicide

She bares her heart to you in ashes of melted platinum

Gold.

Rose gold in fact.

In its purest form

She bleeds innocence

but in a paradox of tolerance

What is it about her that attracts you

You prey on foreign substances

Innocence made of rose gold ashes

Arch your back to take charge of foreign

wholesomeness

Serpantry. Wickedness.

Blood. She bleeds  

Stanzas blessed to be repeated

How dare you

 Seeking innocence as if its nourishment for

your wicked soul

Monsters.

Craving same things

 Craving same serendipity  

Repetition, slammed unto sanity

But words on paper are silent

Ink pens can’t tell her stores like oral can

But oral cannot portray without emotion

Pens cannot speak life into brokenness

  Stuck in the same pattern

Stuck in the same hopelessness

Stuck in the same 13th amendment of the 19th century

Grant her black heart a citizenship

Or grant yourself freedom from a slave’s mentality

A chance

But you are stuck in the same patterns of

her daddy

Of his father

And of his

  But to strike vengeance into a heart of gold

Should be legalized

Because she bore a rose-colored heart to you

Because she let you in to see her golden soul

Because you in turn

stole her sanity

 There is no repentance for such treason

There is no penitence from God

To hurt his children ,wrath fall upon you

Forgiveness cannot save you

because your words are rooted blasphemy

you have committed adultery

and the Old  Testament is clear on what to do with sinners

so is Hammurabi’s code

an eye for an eye

better yet a soul for a soul

  you take with no qualms so every time you

take from her essence it is to poison you

are stuck like glue

sin stinks to the nose of god

burnt offerings of a blackened ass won’t

save you

this isn’t BCE it’s 2017

sacrifices to your god won’t save you

she doesn’t pray to the same people. The same god as you

fallen into depravity

 struck into soul ties

forced into ring of fire

of rose gold ashes

but it after all it is your downfall

is your own fault

you broke code

 as she bore her heart to you in ashes of melted platinum

Gold. Rose gold in fact. In its purest form

She bled innocence marred with the sin of

your impurities

To figure out what about her attracts

You prey on the innocence of girl’s times younger than you

 Innocence made of rose gold ashes

 Arch your back to take charge of healing the soul you broke

 After all

 What more can I ask of you

[adaralondon]

Baby Steps

Why do you seek wholeness in a half whose labor does not produce fruit? 

Time waste away simply because you can’t accept the truth and move on 

But haven't you?

Haven't you realized the truth?

Isn't that why you run.

 You run before anyone can catch up to you 

Because running is the only way to escape honesty 

You lie to yourself in your own mind because you know that the truth isn't something even you want to hear 

You confront demons, but you fail because your sword is rusted metal 

They hurt you again and again 

And you think you've failed, because you've failed at a lot in life 

To what degree must you push yourself to in order to succeed 

Not in other eyes but in your own 

You think you push yourself too hard

You think you don't push yourself enough 

  Tell me why you search for love in halves when fifty percent will give one hundred 

You think to yourself about your daddy issues 

You've never thought you've had them until one day it hits you 

"He can't love me because my dad doesn't even want me."

Why do you search for love when a half can produce a whole just as well?

 Your soul bleeds for true love but you turn away from anyone who shows the slightest sign of affection 

Walls are made of cement but run cracks through them because people have earned your trust 

You’ve given it away too easily because you're looking for something to invest in 

They're later reinforced with the same steel that flows through superman's blood

But even he is weak to kryptonite

 Don't save "her" is what you tell yourself 

Not because you don't want to be saved but because you know once you let go the cycle repeats itself 

 Trust is shattered and never put back together 

Your heart is fragile

you break when sometimes goes wrong 

Even though wrong is in human nature 

One-foot sinks into no return in 

the other is tied to giving someone new a chance 

You ask yourself why you can't stand in the middle like other girls 

 You aren't other girls though 

You're you 

And that burns you to the core 

  What's wrong with you 

He doesn't understand because he doesn't bleed the same color blood as you 

Yours is black mixed with poisonous depression, mixed with trust issues, mixed with a glimmer of hope that someone one day will rescue you

 Well keep dreaming because the only one who can save you is you. 

 But you aren't strong enough to do that yet 

 So, for now let's just take baby steps

[adaralondon]

Hold Your Head up High

When people think of graduation they think of 

Caps n gowns flying everywhere

Blue gowns and expensive wear

 But they don't think of the hours we spent chained to our bed 

Trying to be free from a math problem to which no answer exists

And being eaten by a teacher who you tried to feed bs 

  When people think of graduation they think that you've reached the end of your journey, so you can spread your wings

And fly to a college where no teacher is going to ruin your life

And believe me as a college freshman (college Junior now), I know they are going to ruin your life

 Your family doesn't think of the countless sleepless nights where the miles of homework have ruined your starry night

They don't think of times you wished the commencement ceremony would start you could whip and nae nae right out of the door and never look back

  And honestly, they shouldn't 

No that is not to say that your hard work didn't matter 

And your pain and suffering doesn't equate to being a graduate 

 The past will always be relevant to the present, but that doesn't mean you should dwell on it

  Because someone once told me that same whips and chains that break a person

Make a person 

 Because someone once told me that same whips and chains that have bound your hopes and dreams 

Are the same the whips and chains that will set you free

 So pretty baby hold your head up high

Because you are Muhammad Ali's greatest success 

You are every three pointer Stephen Curry makes and nothing less 

 And just because you were Evander Hollingful in the ring with Mike Tyson

  And life threw you a foul and then asked why is your soul was so dejected

 Tell them something’s wrong with your ear because you can't hear their redundant taunting

 Tell them that they can never break your soul which indeed holds your everlasting dreams 

 Tell them that you have no room for the tormented screams of people who gave up on their dreams 

 Your greatness outshines any of the monochrome that has painted the soul of society black and white  

 And are you Cloud Strife and freeing Aerith will set your soul free.

 You are the awakening that Edna Pontellier strived to see

 Because you have achieved something amazing

 Because you are one step closer to your dreams

 Because you were the first person, to break free and set the screen

 For a Society that screams

 Millennials will never be something worth seeing

 Because we are too absorbed in our phones, and trashy taste in music 

 Too lazy to get a job, too worthless to be deemed a title worth anything 

 Do not listen to them

 Plug your ears

 And baby let your hair flow free

 Hold your head up high and show them that diploma that has opened  

 A door without a key

 Follow your passion and stay true to yourself

 Because success won't come by being carefree

 Because success won't come by listening to those who are whipped 

 Into shape by society's aneki

  The future belongs to those of us who believe in the beauty of our dreams

 So, when people think of graduation and they think of 

  Caps n’ gowns flying everywhere

 And not your dejected tears

 You don't think of it either because not every failure is worthy of being spoken out loud

 Just hold your head up high and celebrate

 Because you have broken free 

 And you are on the pathway

 To achieving your dreams

[adaralondon]

Of Thoughts and Emotions

Of thoughts and emotions

Those filled with bitter lies

I grant to you this memoir

So, thoughts become words

And emotions become controllable

[adaralondon]

Serenity in Pristine

Warning: depictions of death 

There isn’t much to it. When she holds his hand, sparks fly from the tips. The feelings she has are simply amazing.

“Can I come in today?” it’s a simple question, but it shakes her to the core. She can’t allow him to see that side of her. She’s a puppy to him, following his every whim, and she hate it.

“Sure.” She says, despite her better judgment, “Make yourself at home.” She needs a cliché, a superman: one dressed up in that red and blue costume, ready to save her ─ Lois Lane− from her dastardly dad’s abuse.

“Are you okay?” he whispered, taking her trembling hand in the shelter that are both of his/ she smiles weakly before she collapse against him. The tears of abuse and pain from holding it years became mangled by desperate sobs. His fingers inch through her hair soothing the girl in pain. He can see everything now: the abuse, her mom’s dead body, and the man hovering over it.

  He shushes her by putting his hand over her mouth and they hastily make way out of the be gotten house before he notices them in his alcohol induced state.

 “Don’t worry Marie, I’ll protect you.”

[adaralondon]

Heal me

Several fingers, they tremble

I’m scared, they didn’t show me any sympathy

They push me in the water, knowing I cannot swim

 I’m scared

But…you heal me

 Tryna’ read from pages of a WebMD article

Voices…emotions..’The stages of grieving.’

Anger…depression…acceptance…yeah all that jazz

But there’s no just letting go

The words flow from glossed lips

But they don’t mean shit, obliviously

They’re lies, cruel and collapsed

Just like my sprit

 You’re not over it,

You just haven’t forgiven it

Bloodied fingers, grip a bloodied knife

A black rose, laid on the grave

Of feelings once forgotten

A relapse, a collapse

A memory begging not to be replayed  

I’m scared

But will you steal heal me..?

[adaralondon]

Judas

Twelve bells ring in the center of Jerusalem’s capital A priest, a prophet, a polytheist They sit at the table Wondering where is thine holy disciple The silver cup is filled to the brink with the purest virgin wine A lash of his mighty tongue holds 20 lacerations   Poisonous The touch of his lips upon such creamy olive skin For each crack of the whip The tighter the noose around his neck A beg, a plead, a whimper of betrayal from the valley of the shadow of death A malicious soliloquy from the anti-Christ himself All leads up to Judas’ untimely death

[adaralondon]

Serenity

Sun shining brightly

She found him standing there alone

Eyes watching god