recently got put on Zoloft for depression and anxiety by my general practitioner, she’s never even met with me before I came crawling back for something to help me because I’d rather not go to a psychiatrist. First visit was Zoloft prescription, felt extremely shitty the first few few days then they went away. Follow up app a month later she decided to change my medication to another ssri Paxil and since I seemed to be overly nervous or overwhelmed constantly, and to “take the edge off” (her words exactly) she also decided to prescribed me .5 clonazepam for thirty day supply. Last year I didn’t how fucking easy it was to obtain a klonopin script. My second appointment she’s already prescribing me a narcotic. This is the second time I’ve gotten my clonazepam script refilled after a terrible day at work the other week, my manager actually talked to my doctor personally (I think?) and had it filled early because I had been off of them and didn’t know how dependent on them and my Paxil until I had no more. I thought the benzo script was a one time thing, when I take them as directed they genuinely make me feel like its actually gonna be ok and not to feel like everything is just doomed for some reason, but I also have been buying half of someone’s script from them every month and they get the same exact mg and brand I get. I guess I should leave out basically the whole point to this long ass novel, I have been on an adderall binge for about the last 2 and a half weeks straight minus my days off from work I usually take a lot of adderall at work every day. I have another follow up appointment in 6 and a half hours and I am freaking the fuck out because I keep hearing from people they’re gonna drug test me to see if I’ve been taking the benzos correctly if they get suspicious even the slightest bit If i might not be using them as prescribed. If they drug test me for that, I’ll piss dirty for a lot of other things including amphetamines and of course Marijuana. I am very very xanned out to the max rn on the other persons script I bought and all I can think about is sitting in the little room and the nurses coming back with a little cup and tells me to go pee in it. I’m half tempted to refuse and just leave or just take it and see what they have to say. lol. The Paxil should be fine, it’s just the clonazepam I was out of for a few weeks then when my manager got my refilled I had access to them again and the test probably would’ve shown no sign of any benzo because they’re gonna assume I probably sold them as soon as I got them or took them within a whole week (which I stupidly did) orrrr showing too much levels of it in my urine which is also suspicious because that automatically says i abuse them. My main concern is they didn’t have me sign any paper before being prescribe a benzo stating I’d be drug tested, I want to assume it’s under the doctors discretion. And pissing dirty for amphetamines and high levels of benzodiazepines and possibly kick me out of the the doctors practice. I’m just rambling now, since I can’t find anything on if they actually do that with people who is new to the benzo dangers. How could a feeling be so dangerous when all you feel is tranquility and the anxiety-free mind you’ve always wanted.
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