Addicted2Ashley @addicted2ashley - Tumblr Blog

Yesterday

Some days are harder than others.

First the worst

The worst part about being an adult is no one is there to help you. There’s no push over the fence anymore all the grounding support will leave and you’ll have to climb alone..triumph alone and then again..fall alone.

Mm

It’s never what it looks like.

You leave me left here with feelings

of what I look like.

You leave me questioning the effort on the inside.

Never the less, on with it now,

I don’t weep with these eyes.

Never address the 69, it was both ways if Id ever seen lies.

Have you ever

Have you ever related to a couple that you invisioned one of your relationships looking like? Like this is how I expected my love to be like with so and so..I see so many couples that remind me of something I’ve never had so close that it feels like I was in that relationship at one point in my heart even though ours was disastrous. Even though we never had hope because we never had love...

I see us, I see the love we promised eachother, I see you smacking my butt in the kitchen and responding to you “baaaaabe” followed with a long hug and big kiss..I hear myself panting, running away from

He memories on the stair master trying to build muscle to pick those non existing memories up and throw them to the rest of my “what if’s”. I hear myself panting fighting for those same non existent memories.. I was so sure we would have all of what we discussed and I’d give you all of who I am, all of what I feel.

Oh boy did I give you all that I feel..oh boy. Poor boy, strong boy but the man I was looking for couldn’t hold my hand let alone my heart..so here I am imagining that other people have fallen in love with what if’s and not the person in particular. The fairytale is so tantalizing.

I know some ugly motherfuckers living happier than me

I take the weed I take the drink I take the D over the sink

I got emotions and I know this that I always overthink

I take advantage take for granted all this life here left me handless

I am me I am me and I’m Tainted brandless

I can’t handle I can’t handle all the time left on the mantle

All I hear is tick took as I move around the clock and in life it’s never stops

Don’t call the cops don’t call the cops

Consume me

I was driving down consumnes and I saw a vulture peacefully watching over the green fields, bright of sunlight, all while the busy traffic moves along behind him. Don’t think I’ve related to something so much.