so young when the pain had begun

❝ as the years passed, she fell deeper into despair. for who could ever love a beast ❞

[bentleybeau-blog]

Really? Maybe we should change that then.

[adelaidebea]

You would get me cotton candy?

[adelaidebea]

You know.. I never had cotton candy before.

[adelaidebea]

I think a pet goat would be awesome.

[camryxj-deactivated20151215]

“ I’m just worried… Ellis is still missing and Andrew is out there like crazy looking for him “

[adelaidebea]

I’m sure you guys will find him. Maybe I can try talking to Andrew? I’ve been in hiding myself before so maybe I could help a little.

[bentleybeau-blog]

[wraps his arms around her] I love you too. [kisses her back and chuckles] Yes, you two are a mess.

[adelaidebea]

It’s your fault for leaving it around.

[camryxj-deactivated20151215]

“ Uh yeah, I’m fine. I like your hair, it’s nice “

[adelaidebea]

Are you sure? You’re not smiling.

[bentleybeau-blog]

Not at all. I really like it! You’re beautiful. [kisses her cheek]

[adelaidebea]

[smiles and wraps her arms around his torso] I love you. [pecks his lips before grinning childishly] Were you able to see what Rosalie and I recorded on your laptop?

[adelaidebea]

[bentleybeau-blog]

Ooh purple! 

[adelaidebea]

Is it bad?

[camryxj-deactivated20151215]

“ I can see that “

[adelaidebea]

Are you okay?

[adelaidebea]

I swear I do a lot of things to my hair.

[adelaidebea]

Suicidal... Relapse - Task | | Beast Inside

I’m not one to express my feelings, not unless it’s in song. But I guess this is new for me. I don’t write diaries or journals, I honestly find it harder than writing a song. Everyone knows me as a beast. I came here being a total monster and shutting everyone out. I was too afraid that I would end up losing someone else I would care about or more so.. That I would hurt them. But here I am, with an amazing boyfriend and friends. Crazy right? I don’t believe it either. My attitude has changed, shockingly, but that doesn’t mean I’m a whole different person. In fact, I think of myself as one with even more secrets. I may seem happier in front of people, but honestly, I feel even more sad than ever.

I’m afraid that people will find out that I take therapy for my anger. I mean only very little know, but I’m afraid everyone else will find out how much of a fucked up person I am that I have to take therapy to figure my shit out. I’m afraid Bentley will find out how afraid I am. I’m scared he will find out that I’m afraid to relapse. I still want to kill myself, I still want to harm myself, more now than ever. I can’t let him know that. I’m afraid if we ever break up that I would stop everything and become the monster I already am. I am a monster and I can never let Bentley know that I still want to kill myself. I’m afraid that my inner monster will come out to play again. I just can’t let it happen. I want to change, but I'm afraid I'm already too deep.

[adelaidebea]

The way you’re staring at my head is freaking me out.

[adelaidebea]

I guess someone can love the beast…  <3

[hellyeahnemi]

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[neon-lights-pinkvato]

[lxverosalie-blog]

It’s so pretty! I love it! You look amazing.

[adelaidebea]

You think so? I think Bentley’s going to flip.