The Study Blog Of an ADHD Bastard

Trying to get through college one small step at a time.

[adhdbabey]

As someone who scores as severe on ADHD screening tests but has yet to get medicated, it is really fucking hard to try and get people to understand why I struggle so much. Most of the time it’s manageable but then I have days where it feels like there’s a blender in my brain and electricity running through my bones. And not in a fun way. I can go from perfectly fine to throwing shit and screaming and being absolutely terrified of myself because I have no control of this surprise anger. Trying to relax is damn near impossible because I have to check my phone check my phone check my phone or pack my bag NOW when I don’t need to leave for another two hours (I’ll still forget something important anyways). But it’s hard having relationships when everyone around me doesn’t understand why I’m like this and why I can’t control it.

[adhdbabey]

I forgot my calculator in case anyone was wondering what I was going to forget

[adhdbabey]

As someone who scores as severe on ADHD screening tests but has yet to get medicated, it is really fucking hard to try and get people to understand why I struggle so much. Most of the time it's manageable but then I have days where it feels like there's a blender in my brain and electricity running through my bones. And not in a fun way. I can go from perfectly fine to throwing shit and screaming and being absolutely terrified of myself because I have no control of this surprise anger. Trying to relax is damn near impossible because I have to check my phone check my phone check my phone or pack my bag NOW when I don't need to leave for another two hours (I'll still forget something important anyways). But it's hard having relationships when everyone around me doesn't understand why I'm like this and why I can't control it.

[adhdbabey]

4/8/2019

It's such a nice day I had to find some big windows to sit near. I really need to catch up on my calc work but we're getting there.

[adhdbabey]

Just downed a 5 hour energy before taking my calc exam and nothing happened?? Not sure what I was expecting but it wasn't that

[adhdbabey]

3/7/2019

Today my coworker, who also has ADHD, said to me "this box is your brain off drugs. You need the drugs." And like... Fuck yeah I do.

Working full time and being a full time student, all while going unmedicated is fucking rough. So I don't think I give myself enough credit for what I do accomplish.

[adhdbabey]

The truth of the matter is, I'm not a great student! I sure try my hardest but somehow I still fall behind. But that's okay! As long as I keep going and get through it.

[adhdbabey]

2/11/19

Might be transferring into a more advanced comp sci class because my professor finally figured out I've taken this class before. I might also try the tea my best friend brought me from Kenya!

[adhdbabey]

We have officially started school! Three weeks in and I haven't fallen behind, so proud!

[adhdbabey]

75 Days Until School:

I still have a lot of work to do to get ready for the semester to start. My school is not helpful at all which is great. But to make up for all of that I bought myself some items from Lush and spent some quality time with my kitties.

[adhdbabey]

78 Days Until School:

This is my first attempt at a study blog and I am really hoping it will help me accomplish more. So hi! I’m El (or Ellie), I’m majoring in computer science and have ADHD. While I am not currently in school (and obviously not studying) I will keep a log of my day to day chores and what-not to get me in the habit for when next semester rolls around.