[eebie]

I just ate one

[eebie]

You can lie when you name things

[trying-trying2lyk]

i love writing out numbers and then putting them in parentheses like "one (1)" even when i dont need to i think its funny

[thewitchqifrey]

RIVALS 2.04 • "Episode 4"

[milfsisyphus]

the thing you have to understand about rivals is they have david tennant in there sniffing panties while cartoonishly smoking evil cigars. this is a quantum leap in technology that hasn’t been seen in our lifetime.

[theorangepdf]

getting fixated on something is funny because the first like week i have an insatiable need to tell everyone i know about it and spread the good word but by weeks 2 and 3 it becomes so intense and personal that even hearing it mentioned in public makes me sweat as if a dark secret was alluded to

[aureliusssss]

Oh god damn

[wjjaw]

The most chaotic dinner party without ever setting foot in the dining room 🤣

[fan-a-tink]

Master of Disguise | Good Omens 3

[nastasya--filippovna]

[woodwool]

worst part of being an adult is how often youre forced to nag. you Have to be annoying or youre never getting anything done. which is unfortunate considering how common it is to teach kids to never nag and be annoying ever

[woodwool]

a professional i am paying money doesnt show up w zero communication and IM the one who has to feel guilty for having to call him and ask whats going on. because when i was a little kid i would get yelled at for nagging. joke world

[josilverdragon]

"The horrors persist but so do libraries, books, iced coffee, sunsets, trees, the word 'fuck', the moon and the sea."

[hometoursandotherstuff]

[beemovieerotica]

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

things to say after fucking up egregiously

pack it up boys we've made a social blunder

let's run that again

one more time normal style

I'm going to become a statistic

further proof god is out to get me

it's because I tore my acl senior year

I couldn't do it for religious reasons

my ex took my talent in the divorce

good thing nobody saw that (said directly to someone who definitely saw it)

[shimmervee]

be sure to leave out milk and cookies for brutus tonight

[statelywingmanor]

You can leave as many cookies as you want but he’ll only et two

[shimmervee]

this remains the funniest addition anyone’s made to one of my posts

[himbotheninth]

dungeon crawler carl is fun because you go into it thinking it'll be an unserious, fun and gratuitously violent action book, and then you get to the very first boss, and then you think, now hold on. Hold on. And then all of a sudden you're seven books deep and insane and also holding on to the indomitable human spirit for dear life and also a crab has to jack off. like holy shit dude. i've got relentless hope and found family in one hand and the world's weirdest foot fetish in the other

[loveridden1999]

starting a collection

[musings-from-mars]

"can you lock tf in" babes i have adhd i am locked tf out with the keys inside