The Psych Scene

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𖦹*ੈ‧ 𓇼 ₊˚𓆝

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Life's Final Chapter

December 5, 2024, I interviewed Roberta Bangcal-Cedeño, but mostly known here in the community as “Mami Berta”. Mami Berta is 74 years old, living her life as happy as she could. Back then, in her early years, she used to own a “Carinderia” as one of her main sources of income. “Namaligya ko sauna og sud-an, halin kaayo permi kay duol man sa trabahoanan.” , as she said that her business used to be so big and popular because their foods are so delicious, that makes your mouth water and also, their house is near to a working site. She has 2 Daughters and 3 Sons, who are all adults and have a family on their own. However, everyone in the family lives in the same house, or should we say it's a compound already (lol). “Naa raman gihapon sila diri namuyo tanan, mas maayo nalang para makauban nako sila tanan.”, said Mami Berta. Aside from that, Mami Berta is still happily married and living together with his husband, Dandy Cedeño, also known here or what I call him “Dada”.

Mami Berta shared their journey throughout their relationship, and I was giving so much emotion while I was listening to her. She also talked about one experience where her husband used to have an affair, but they resolved it. “Nasakpan na imong Dada sauna naay babae sauna, ako jud siya giyawyawan og nasuko ko og maayo, wala nako siya gitagad pila ka bulan, maynalang ron wala na nagbalik og ingana.”. We were having a little chit-chat more about their relationship with Dada, and we also talked about her past relationship which made me smile and laugh hearing her stories.

I also asked Mami Berta about what it feels like to be at that age. “Gasige naman ko og sakit sakit, hantod karon wala gani nawala pa akong sakit, kanusa mani nawala.”. As she mentioned, Mami Berta is experiencing some illness in her body which is very unfortunate to hear about. Slowing of Movements, she also has arthritis, and her height decreasing are some of the signs of being in Late Adulthood. “Usahay makalimot nako unsa akong buhaton, dili nako mahuman ang gibuhat.”, she said. Her tendency of forgetfulness is showing up, which leads to unfinished things that she needed to do. Although she has that, she never forgets to “walis” outside the house, every morning at 4AM and also to do the Rosary everyday at 6PM.

 As I have observed from Mami Berta, I noticed also that she tends to feel very sleepy when the clock hits at 3PM. She also has this mindset where she feels her children don't love her anyone, where she doesn't get the attention that she wanted, causing her to sulk and be mad at them sometimes. As they say, once you get older, you tend to be more of a “marites” since you are curious and attentive to everyone. Well, I think Mami Berta is one of them haha. Everytime she goes back home, She always has some “chikas” to talk about, which makes us very curious and intrigued. Mami Berta is now living her life peacefully, with everyone in the house taking care of her, and that's important at that kind of age.

Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you've got to start young.” – Theodore Roosevelt. 

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Aging Gracefully

On December 8, 2024, I interviewed “Tita Tet”. She is 56 years old and has been a Teacher for 20 years already and is currently teaching at SPED Bangkal.Her Husband is a Soldier and she has 3 children. Tita told me that her life was really a hard one before she got into that profession. “Sauna nag minyo mi ni Tito Roger nimo, walang wala jud mi, Guard pa sya ato sa usa ka factory unya isa pa amoang anak grabe jud intawon kalisod sa kinabuhi sauna dai”. As our conversation goes by, she told me that “Gipaeskwela jud intawon ko ni Tito nimo kay di sya gusto mag dako amoang mga anak na dli namo mahatag ilang gusto” and I was speechless when she told me that because they valued providing a better future for their children. Despite the difficulties they faced, they did what was best for their family. ”Grabe jud ang kalisod sauna labi na sakoang pag maistra, ika duha pako nakatake ug board exam bago naka pasar sa kadaghan problema gi agian, pero kung ihatag gyud saimo sa ginoo, aw ihatag jud niya” I really adore how Tita Tet managed everything despite of the circumstance she faced that time. “Na assign kos bukid pagka maistra sauna, jusko mutabok pakog sapa mka adtos eskwelahan” and realize that her previous life was really difficult, based on the experiences she had. She has experienced previous traumas as well, especially because her husband is a soldier. When she gave birth to her third child, the infant was premature and just 7 months old. “Stress kaayo ko nag buntis niya dai kay nag sagol-sagol pud akong problema siguro ato”. Her first child is already a police officer, the second is awaiting the board exam results to become a licensed professional teacher, and the third is a fourth-year mechanical engineering student. Tita Tet expressed her happiness that, even though her first and second-born children are both teenage parents, they can still do what is best for their own family. 

I asked her regarding the physical changes she experienced when she was getting older. She told me that “Nah naniguwang na jud kay nagka wrinkles na” She even admitted to me that she is still attractive despite having wrinkles on her face, which made me giggle.At the age of 56, you cannot really predict the right age for her based on her physical appearance because Tita Tet was physically fit and does not have a lot of wrinkled skin. I asked her what was her secret to that kind of appearance, she told me that “Balance rajud sa sugar dai tapos hilig baya jud ko ug gulay nya less rice kay mao jud nay mka pangayayat sa lawas”. I learned how important it is to take care of oneself so that you may remain healthy as you age.

She is still delighted with the profession she chose and plans to retire when she is 60. She enjoys going out of town with her friends and family and spoiling her grandchildren. It was great to hear her stories since I have learnt so much from her, and she even gave me advice on how to live my life. She encouraged me to be brave because everything would pay off someday.“Dai, dli rajud nimo mamalayan, maabot naka sa imong mga ginapangandoy sa kinabuhi basta kay mag kugi lang ka” and that really hit me hard. 

Middle adulthood is a time when individuals often find themselves reflecting on their accomplishments, reassessing their goals, and making adjustments to their life paths. This phase is characterized by various physical, cognitive, emotional, and social changes that contribute to personal development and growth.

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"My Childhood Bestie, A Psych Major's Talk"

On November 9, 2024, I interviewed my childhood friend who just turned 20 years old recently. She is a very important person in my life, and she is Donelle. Donelle is currently a freshman at her university, taking a course in AB Psychology. Donelle is the youngest out of all 5 of them, making her the “bunso” of the family.

In our conversation, I asked her some questions about her physical milestones, such as when her menstruation started and how she felt about it.“I think I was.. 11? When I had my first period and honestly, it was scary since nakadungog nako sauna about it, mga panghadlok sakong mga siblings haha. And also, my first period was sakit because nagka cramps jud kog maayo.”, as she said. We also talked about the physical changes in her body that she felt were weird at first. “I was around 12-13 tung namukol, I had pubic hairs and such.. It was weird at first pero eventually, naaccept naman nako kay it’s a part of growing.”.  In terms of her Socioemotional milestones, she told me that it was never hard for her to socialize with other people, although when she entered college, it was pretty hard for her to adjust to the environment since it is a big university, but she also said, “After a month or two bitaw, nakaadjust nasad ko sa environment since the environment itself wasn’t that hard to adjust, kay very approachable lahat ang mga tao hehe.” and I was delighted to hear that from her because she chose not to attend school last school year because she was prioritizing her mental health and focused more on what would be best for her to get into college, and now she has already made her decision, which I feel good about. I also asked about her relationship with her family, and the responses she gave were really sad. Her biological mother was not present till now, and her father is there to help them financially, despite what she said: “He was there for us, financially, pero my relationship with papa is very awkward.. Since wala pud siya saamoa always kay gawork overseas.”. Donelle’s father is an OFW, which means both of her parents were not there for them, so their “Mommy” or their Mother’s sister, was there to fill in the absence of both parents, who were supposed to be taking care of her. “Mommy was there all the time since I was a kid, and she is a big part of who I am right now and I will always be grateful to her.” That made me in awe and I felt teary-eyed while doing the interview. 

Donelle is already 20 years old, so I asked some questions like what are her expectations during this developmental stage. She answered that the responsibilities during this stage is what makes her worried and nervous, and to act like an “adult”. “Ofcourse, the responsibilities are there, which is makapressure and makakulba, and also to find a job someday in order to provide for yourself and for your family.”.She also shared her insights on how it feels to be at this age, and she said that it is pretty weird for her since it wouldn’t sink in that we are adults, and it feels like those memories from the past were just recent.

Throughout the interview, we reminisced about our good old times together since it’s been a while since we talked again, ever since we became so busy with our lives. After that, I asked about what she loves about being an adult.“Although recently lang ako naging adult, but you know me na I was always so mature back then, but siguro in terms of living my life right now, I am so satisfied since I have my own choices now that I can be satisfied with.”. I also asked about the challenges she faced. Donelle stated that the adjustment to her new environment was difficult, but she was able to keep up with everyone and adopt everything, which is a good thing. She also mentioned that the pressure of what it takes to be an adult is haunting her, but she has also managed it with that mindset.

Being an adult is a complex process of development, self-awareness, and adjustment. Physical changes, emotional development, cognitive progress, and changing relationships are all included. Every stage of life offers different possibilities and difficulties that help people become more resilient, knowledgeable, and emotionally sophisticated. A happy and meaningful being, characterized by continuous social and personal growth, can result from accepting the obligations and adjustments that follow adulthood.

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Life as a Teenager

On November 9, 2024, I met Angel, a 15-year-old grade 10 student. My first impression of her was the opposite of what I expected because she appears to be a noisy adolescent, but after you get to know her, you will truly understand who she is. Angel is the eldest of the three of her siblings. Her dream is to graduate and help her family.

In our small talk, I asked about the physical changes she experienced and how she felt during her first menstruation.She told me that “ grade 8 ko gi dugo te, 12 years old ko ato tapos matingala ko uban classmate nako gi mens na sila elementary palang” and she was worried before but she realize that they are not the same. When she experienced physical changes, she told me that she was quite embarrassed “ maulaw ko te labi na buhok sa ilok” but her mother told her that It was just normal because a person really experienced that kind of physical changes when you reach puberty.

We have a conversation as well regarding how problem-solving skills evolve from early childhood to adolescence. She told me that “tung wala pa ko na abot sa peak skoang teenage life kay always lang ko ga hulat sa desisyon skoang parents, pero tung nagka buot najud ko kay mka decide nko para skoang sarili pero with guidance gihapon ni mama”. Actually, it was great for her that her mother gave her more guidance while making decisions because other parents in our generation sometimes disregard their children's decisions or ignore how they feel. Angel is now experiencing the beauty standards of social media and shared about it “usahay maka pangutana ko ngano ang uban kay gwapa gud kaayo, dalaga kaayo sila tan awon maong ga tuon napud kog make up” and I relate to what she said because I, too, suffer from physical anxieties. I just reminded her that everyone is unique and attractive in their own way, and all you have to do is focus on what you appreciate about yourself instead of perceived flaws and focus on building confidence.

There are many physical, cognitive, and socioemotional changes she encounters from early childhood to adolescence, but she knows that there will be more soon. I just gave her advice that she needs to be wiser enough to make wise decisions in life because we all know that adolescence has many phases, especially when you are curious about everything and you don’t have anyone to talk to.

Adolescence is a transitional period marked by physical, cognitive, emotional, and social development. This stage is critical for establishing the stage for adulthood, as adolescence develops the skills, knowledge, and identity required to manage the challenges of the adult world. Understanding the complexities of this developmental stage can assist adolescents in transitioning from childhood to adulthood.

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Brave Soul

On October 12, 2024, we met Flory,a 10-year-old Grade 5 student. She is an introvert type of kid with a wide imagination and really loves to draw, make bracelets, make art, and watch anime. Flory told us that she wants to be an Architect someday.

As we observe her, she is very shy about answering some questions, but she really knows how to communicate well.

She told us when she was 5 years old, she already knew how to read, write, compose simple sentences, and combine colors with the help of her mother and wawa (grandmother). Before, when she was in grade 3, she used to cry because she was really shy and experienced bullying. She told us that she was very hurt because some other kids had that kind of attitude “Lain kaayo to sila te oy kay mang bully, pero gi sumbong lang nako sila kay wawa” (grandmother). We can really see in her eyes how sad she is when sharing her experience with bullying. She is in grade 5 now, and she can handle things well. She just did well in school and told us that “sagdaan nalang nako sila kay naa man jud koy classmate na ga bully misag sa uban classmate nako and gina tarung nalang nako akoang studies para ma happy si mama and papa.” what a kind hearted child she is.

We asked regarding her physical changes, and she told us that at the age of 7, she already observed that her breasts were starting to grow, and she told us that “ulaw kaayo ko ato kay wala paman ko kabalo pero gi ingnan ko ni mama nga naa jud dw parts sa body labi na sa girls ang mag change” and at the age of 9, she already had her menstruation.

I asked her if she’s shy till now, and she told us that “ulawon gihapon ko pag dili nako kaila,” because she is not used to any kind of interaction if she is uncomfortable.

During this period, children undergo significant physical, cognitive, emotional, and social changes that lay the groundwork for adolescence and adulthood, setting the stage for their future growth and identity. Flory's story was somewhat sad as she had already experienced bullying at a young age.

Hearing this story is heartwarming because she had the courage to tell us the experience she had before, and she learned how to defend herself with no fighting. Encouraging open communication between children, parents, and teachers is key to identifying and addressing bullying early. Let's always choose kindness, and it's something the world can never have too much of!

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Adorable Isay

On October 12, 2024, we interviewed Ate Ritz and her daughter, Isay. Ate Ritz is a full-time mother to her first child, which is a big challenge for her, as she said. We met Isay; she is so full of energy, and there is one thing she loves: dancing. At 6 months old, Isay can already eat solid food. “Pure breastfeed raman na siya sakoa,” Ate said. “Nakalakaw og nakatindog na gud siya atong 11 months old pa siya," Ate said, and we were also surprised and amazed about how fast Isay’s development is. You can see Isay was raised well by her parents.

At the age of 3, Isay can speak fluently and can communicate with her parents well. She can understand things already at the age of 4 right now. In terms of Isay’s cognitive progress, she said that Isay is very curious about everything. “Curious jud siya sa tanan, maskin unsa sa iyang palibot, since makakita man siya sa tanan.” Isay would say, “What's this, Mommy? ”as a sign of curiosity about her surroundings. At the age of 2, Isay can already identify colors and shapes. We were amazed at how fast Isay’s development was. Ate also recommended using gadgets, but we need to limit them. “Helpful jud ang Youtube sa bata para makalearn, kay dali ra sila makaprocess og makadumdum, pero dili lang permintehon." Some wise and helpful words from Ate. Isay is more into dancing. Ate said, “Makadungog lang siya og music, musayaw na dayon na siya,” and we laughed and smiled while listening to Ate’s stories about Isay.

Isay’s parents raised her well. Ate Ritz and her husband are very responsible and good parents for Isay. Whenever Isay made mistakes, they would just talk to her and explain it. “Muingon jud mi nga pag mali, mali jud siya. Explain namo saiyaha ngano mali to iyang nabuhat”. Her husband is the most disciplinarian when it comes to Isay, “Maminaw jud siya saiyahang papa, ikaduha lang na sturya naminaw dayon siya lagi," as Ate said. Even though she is raised well, Ate said that she also experienced postpartum depression after having Isay. She can't take care of herself since she is taking full-time care of her. “Usahay maka ingon kog wala jud koy atiman sa sarili and payat kaayo ko.”

Ate also mentioned that Isay usually greets everyone with a cheerful face, which is very charming. She wants everyone's attention. "Himansin jud kaayo na siya, hilig makig dula sa mga lain bata."

With the support of her responsible and disciplined parents, 4-year-old Isay continues to develop and grow properly. We have hope for Isay's future since she conveys happiness and her positive behavior makes everyone adore her.

🤱🏻Raising a child well involves nurturing them in all aspects emotionally, socially, physically, and intellectually while consistently offering guidance, love, and support. During this time, the child's brain develops rapidly, laying the foundations for their cognitive, emotional, social, and physical growth. Actively taking part in their child's development during the early years is one of the most important ways parents may shape their child's future.

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“A mother’s joy begins when new life is stirring inside; when a tiny heartbeat is heard for the first time, and a playful kick reminds her that she is never alone.”

On September 7, 2024, we met Janine. She is 22 years old and six months pregnant. She is still working as a server in a cafeteria, and her husband, Robert, is 26 years old and a painter of coffins. Throughout our interview, she told us about her journey as a first-time mother, her adjustments, and how she handles every challenge that she experiences.

I asked her how it feels to be pregnant, and she answered, “It was a mixed emotion; she didn’t know if she’d be happy or scared because her family still didn’t know about it. She discovered that she was pregnant when she always craved lemon and her menstruation was irregular. That’s the time she used a pregnancy kit and found out that she was 1 month pregnant. Janine tells us that she has no appetite, and she told us as well, “Wala man pud koy gi lihian,” since it is widespread in Filipino culture to say the word “Lihi.”.

Janine tells us about her experience with physical and emotional changes throughout her pregnancy journey. I asked her what were the changes she encountered and she simply answered “ Kalimtanon na kayko oy tapos hillakon kaayo ko mao jud akoang mapansin” which means that she easily forgets something and she is very emotional even about little things. Janine told us as well that she is not like other pregnant women who have many cravings because she always keeps in mind to maintain a healthy lifestyle. 

We asked her about her relationship with her partner. Janine tells us that she doesn’t have any problems with her partner because as Janine mentioned “ Buotan man sya, supportive tapos doble amping pud gyud sya sakoa labi na sa vitamins and check up”.  It is very important nowadays to have a partner who will really help you mentally, physically, and emotionally because being pregnant is not easy.

Overall, Janine is very happy with her pregnancy, especially when she feels the baby kicking on her belly. Even though she is working, she just thinks that it is her exercise as well. We asked her about parenting since she is a first-time mother, and she told us that “good parenting is not about being perfect but about striving to create a loving, supportive, and structured environment where your child can thrive.”

Pregnancy is a vital stage in a woman’s life and in the creation of new life. It is crucial not just for the birth of a child, but for the physical, emotional, and social preparation of parents and families for the new responsibilities and challenges of life. Proper care during pregnancy is vital for a healthy pregnancy outcome and a strong start in life for the baby.

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"Motherhood"

On September 7, 2024, we interviewed Ate Lang-lang, a 32-year-old mother. She has a 1 year and 9 months old son named "Narding." We listened to her experiences about her motherhood journey and how it has been.

Ate Lang-lang owns a business that sells hollow blocks, sand, and gravel and his husband, Kuya Gene, a driver, as their source of income. However, Narding is not only her child; she is a mother of five healthy kids, and Narding is their youngest one. We simply asked what her changes have been ever since she became a mother; she replied, “Dali ra kaayo ko masuko, dali ra ma-irita tapos nag gain ko og weight ug nagka stretch marks pa," with a smile on her face, mentioning the physical and social changes of having an infant.

She also mentioned that her struggles with taking care of Narding (and the rest of her kids) were about not taking care of herself more. “Wala nakoy time makaligo kay lisod," “Dili na kalaba kay mas mag atiman sa bata," and “Ah, dili nasad ko ka lihok lihok sa balay kay hands on jud sa baby.” Those were her struggles as a mother of a kid who is very young and fragile. We also asked Ate Lang-lang about her postpartum experience, and we were really sad and shocked by what we heard from her. “Niabot jud ang time na maka surrender naka kay dili naka kalihok sa tanan." Hearing Ate Lang-lang’s journey on motherhood and parenting made us realize that motherhood is a rollercoaster experience and it generally includes a mix of emotions, responsibilities, and challenges.

Narding is such a cute boy. Upon interviewing, Narding is very clingy and affectionate to everyone in the family; he is also quiet and shy, which adds to this cuteness. We also noticed that Narding is observant especially if he can’t recognize the person. Narding started walking on his own at 14 months old (1 year and 2 months), which is pretty fast, and this is Ate’s reaction to it: “Siyempre lipay kaayo oy kay achievement na sa akong baby” His first word was "Papa,” and everyone in the family was beyond happy. We also asked about the physical changes of Narding throughout his growing up; he wasn’t breastfed since the mother didn’t have enough breastfed milk to supply. Since newborn, formulated milk has been fed to Narding. However, he is a healthy boy with soft and light skin that makes him the cutest. As we mentioned, Ate Lang-lang is a mother of 5. Their family is still complete, and we can really see and also hear the stories of Ate, that they are living so happily in that big family, and that is the most important thing about parenthood.

The journey of motherhood is deeply personal and often a mix of challenge, growth, and reward. It is a transformative journey that involves raising, nurturing, and guiding a child through various stages of life, full of joys, challenges, and growth opportunities that apply to all parents.

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“Life doesn't make any sense without interdependence. We need each other, and the sooner we learn that, the better for us all.” –Erik Erikson. “

#psych Ψ