she's a sunflower.

[adorablemj]

I am broken hearted. I am feeling nothing right now but the pain. I wish I am numb.

[adorablemj]

Your love is a secret I'm hoping, dreaming, dying to keep.

King Of My Heart - Taylor Swift

[adorablemj]

We might have been in love if you were a better man.

- Taylor Swift, Better Man

[adorablemj]

(name), I've decided that we're not getting back together. I've had enough of pain from our relationship, I think it's time for me to move forward and leave it all behind. I've waited long enough to fix it and it's already too late, all the plans that we had u can fullfil it to someone else, I'll just change mine. I never thought of that we're gonna end up like this before since I always loved you, I always think that maybe we're not perfect but the pain wasn't even worth it. I looked up to you because I really admired u before. I think I already did the part of what gf should do to thier lover. All those crying nights thinking that maybe it's all my fault because I let someone in who doesn't even know how to love me, who doesn't even listen to me. The more I gave u chances, the less I gave the respect for myself. When I received ur messages I didn't feel anything the way I felt before. I felt nothing. I didn't smile or giggles the way I always did when I receive ur messages but now's changed idk why but maybe that time I realized that maybe u don't love me u just love the idea of having a gf who's 19-20 yrs old. U just love the idea of what it's feels like. "baby, sweetie, Darling" pls leave it all behind u realize ur mistakesbut what are ur mistakes? Take care of urself, as I always reminded u before.

I adored u, I admired u, I loved u and I missed u.

I just wished u shouldn't let me wonder why I feel like nothing to u so we won't even be here.

[adorablemj]

Happiness can be an equal of pain.

[adorablemj]

[adorablemj]

[adorablemj]

"But now, all I really wish is to sit with you and hear ur thoughts as we are watching the sunset together. "

- MJ

[adorablemj]

Coffee shop

I was sitting on the table, near at the window, sipping my favorite coffee.

Enjoying the view of cars and cities, with different people passing by with thier different emotions.

I feel lonely, alone and sad.

Staring people on the other side of table, hearing thier laughs and thier tons of stories.

For me, it was just a normal day.

I wouldn't mind people coming in or out on the coffee shop store.

But.. when the door bell rang.

My heart beats so fast that I feel like I woke up from the long dream.

I don't know how to feel on that day.

Only I know is I couldn't take my eyes on you.

I stand. Walked near to u but I couldn't say a single word.

After u took ur coffee, u smiled at me.

My heart melt into the ground.

U left the coffee shop and then I was still standing.

Wishing and hoping I might see u again on the coffee shop store.

[adorablemj]

Sonnet 18

The Night

Friday 10 o'clock night at full moon sky

The cool breezing wind that feels in my skin

And in the flowing tears begin to dry

You say we will get this through thick and thin

My heart beats fast and my feel feels nothing

The promise that we won't hurt no one

Saw her eyes, lying on the floor breathing

You told me that she was the only one

You said no one will know this crime about

You pick the gun and pull the trigger

And I was too naive to help you out

The bullet in her head and run together

Too late, roaring red and blue lights stop by

It's the last time we did and say Good bye.

[adorablemj]

Watching F is for the Family.

[adorablemj]

I know I promised my love, my old man that I'm not gonna leave you because that's what always people say " If u love someone no matter how circumstances are, even if they show their real side, if u love them, you stay." Oh sweety, it always been planted to my mind but then I realized that it wasn't enough, staying to someone just because you love them and because you're afraid that no one's gonna love you the way he did? It's not enough for a reason that I need to stay. Loving you, accepting you, staying with you, fighting with you was enough for me to leave and get my shit together, brace myself because I know I've had enough. I told you, that I loved you. I did. But it hurts seeing those pictures of ur conversation with the girl as if like I'm nothing to u? U didn't even say sorry, nor admit that it was a mistake. I know I had to do it, leaving you was enough courage for me and the only thing I have was a pride. Pride to walked away... I missed you, I did and Goodbye

[adorablemj]

To the man who told me he's lucky to have me;

Isn't it amazing to feel love, to feel unknown feelings because he said I love you and he makes u feel happy at the same time. To build future and make plans ahead us. To hear everything single day how much he misses you because you were in LDR relationship. He makes you feel happy, giggles and wanna shout to show how much you love him. How much he means to you.

But time goes by... Unnecessary things always comes along the way when things go well? Or it's just some two face scenario's to make me feel this way? Wasn't a lie? Or did you just open your world and then close it because I'm halfway to be part of your life? Are you the kind of person to give love and then take it away?

So many questions that are piling up in my mind and I hope someday, one day the answers I wanna hear somewhere maybe I'll know.

[adorablemj]

Ah, I love reading people thoughts, people confessions and the way they wanna be the very best version of themselves. I envy them. They say every one has a unique skills, u just have to find it. But it's been a 20 yrs now, I guess I need to wait for more years.

[adorablemj]

Naked, Just looking through the window, cigarettes smoke all over my body, tying my hair coz I like it. My mind always thinks " isn't lovely? Being all alone, no one disturbs you, no one really knows you at all." But in reality, it feels sucks. No one go over to ur house to surprise u bcos it's ur bday, u don't have someone to tell that u got a promotion or asking someone to come over to ur house just to watch ur favorite movies. Does it make u feel lonely at all?