Iāve just been having a hard time lately.
I donāt have anyone to talk to about it so here I am venting to the void.
I donāt know how to feel bad for my dad.
He stopped working 10years ago (he was only 42) because āmy body couldnāt handle working anymoreā and āI did my time I worked my whole lifeā blah blah blah.
Made my mom work two - three jobs up until the day she died while he ātook care of the houseā. She couldnāt afford to have him be a shitty stay at home dad, but she did because thatās what my family is taught.
She does and somehow managed to leave behind a decent chunk of change, that should have been split between my dad brother and I (it wasnāt).
I was forced to start working at 12, I am now 30 and have spent more years working than I ever did just getting to be a kid, I was forced to move out at 17, and have been on my own since.
My brother was the one who didnāt have to work until 18 and it was more of a āwell if you donāt go to college you are going to workā deal with my mom, he lived at home bill free no responsibilities mom took care of everything.
My brother and my dad spent 85k in not even a year after my mom died, and yet I get treated like garbage because I used 5k from my dead mom to help me go back to school.
Now my dad has no money he canāt work because he got a leg chopped off because he refused to take care of himself, and now Iām being forced to help pay his bills even though I havenāt lived in that house in almost 14 years.
And I have this weird mix of guilt, anger, and just I feel sorry that this grown man canāt do anything for himself.
