Stella:
Stella had met up with the two girls not long after her owls had been sent and without much problem they had snuck out of the castle. Tracey and her were old enough to apparate and with Astoria at her side they disappeared with a pop, reappearing in front of St Mungos not more than a moment later. Swiftly she led them inside and towards the nearest security person as opposed to a nurse or doctor. Her mother still hadn't told her where Adrian's room was and so she was going to find it herself using a certain talent of her own. "Hello there," she breathed seductively, batting her lashes and looking up at him. The man was young and she could see the lust in his eyes immediately. "Could you help me," Stella asked sweetly placing her hand onto his arm. The man nearly fell over his own words as he stumbled to answer her. Like most men he wanted to please her because she was a veela and that's how people reacted to them. "Show me to Adrian Pucey's room," she demanded firmly before squeezing his arm gently. With that the man agreed and then started to walk towards the nearest elevator. "Told you I could get us in," Stella whispered to her friends and then giggled softly as she followed the man.
Tracey:
As Tracey was getting ready to set off and leave her room, she looked at her reflection first, and sighed. There were heavy circles under her eyes and her face was slightly thinner. Or maybe that's just her imagination, as lack of sleep makes you see things differently. Blowing out a breath, she grabbed her large shoulder bag containing her clothes for the night and the day after and other necessities and set off to meet Stella. Nodding to Stella and Astoria in greeting, they set off together to St. Mungo's via apparition. She still isn't used to that sensation and stumbled slightly when they arrived at their destination. Tracey wasn't paying much attention as her nerves were frazzled, to say the least. Looking over to Stella as she talked to the security person, she was slightly surprised that Stella managed to get them in so quickly. "That was fast," she commented quietly as they walked through the seemingly endless corridors of St. Mungo's.
Astoria:
Astoria had arrived at the common room, anxiously awaiting to two other girls. She was nervous about going to see Adrian for she had no idea what his condition was. That and the fact that their plan was still up in the air and she wasn't sure if they were still going to go through with it. After meeting up with Stella and Tracey, the three disapparated to St. Mungo's. For a moment Astoria felt dizzy but it went away shortly after. She smiled a bit as Stella worked her magic on the man and then followed them down the corridor towards Adrian's room.
Stella:
The man ended up taking them into an elevator and up to the fourth flour. As he did so Stella whispered to him softly asking about why Adrian was on the fourth floor. As far as she was aware the fourth floor was for spell damage. When the man spoke though he explained that he knew of Adrian's case because it was a surprising one. He technically only had one one magic related problem and that was that he had some sort of cursed wound. He explained that the fourth floor was the only place to really keep the boy. Stella's brow furrowed but she thanked him and then continued to follow him. When he came to a stop she gave him a dashing smile and watched as he walked off. "Give me a moment. Mom is gonna be angry if she's here," Stella explained to the girls before pushing the door open lightly and seeing her mom sleeping peacefully in a chair beside her friend's bed. "Oh god Adrian," she muttered softly before looking to Tracey and Astoria with a frown. With one last motion for them to stay put she walked into the room.
"Mom," she breathed softly and tapped her shoulder until the woman was shaken awake. After a brief moment of confusion her mother seemed to take in the situation swiftly and her face went from confused to angry. "Stella Rebekah Vaisey. What exactly do you think you are doing here," she snapped angrily and stood before hugging her daughter and seeming to slump in defeat. "It's good to see you love. I've been so worried about Adrian and you. I've barely slept. You should have warned me though. If your father hears of this he won't be pleased," her mother rambled on and on. "Mom my friends are here. Adrian's friends. I wanna bring them to see him," she explained before he blue eyes fluttered to Adrian. He was laying in the bed with his head fully bandaged as well as his left arm. His eyes seemed sunken in and his already sharp cheekbones looked like they could cut glass. As she stared in shock her mother went to the door. "Girls. Come in," she breathed gently.
Tracey:
Tracey's heart felt as if it's in her throat the whole walk to Adrian's room. She repeatedly told herself to reign it in, but obviously her willpower wasn't the strongest at the moment, so to keep herself from spewing words out, she remained silent. After minutes of walking, they finally reached Adrian's door and Tracey felt as if she was going to implode because of her nerves. Watching Stella as she told them to come in, Tracey stepped inside and stopped dead on the doorway. The sight was not one she'd want to see ever again as Adrian was just lying there, seemingly lifeless. She swallowed back a sob and looked at Astoria, absentmindedly clutching her right hand for support. What has Adrian done to himself? As her mind raced, Tracey's tears began to fall again and she squeezed Astoria's hand once more.
Astoria:
Standing out in the hallway only caused Astoria's anxiety to grow. She wasn't sure she could handle seeing Adrian lying in a hospital bed. When Stella told them it was alright to come into the room, Astoria slowly followed Tracey in, but stopped just as the other girl did. There was her best friend, lying in that hospital bed looking so pale and weak and lifeless. She felt someone take a hold of her hand and she glanced over to see Tracey already in tears. Astoria tried her best to give a reassuring smile to the older girl but it was a very weak one. Instead, she gently squeezed Tracey's hand in an almost supportive way. She could feel tears welling up in her own eyes but she did her best to not let them fall down her face.
Stella:
As soon as Tracey stepped in the door Stella snapped out of her numb feeling and felt her own heart drop. Seeing Adrian look so weak was like seeing one of her own brother's hurt and so instead of crying she defaulted to stoney silence but seeing Tracey began to cry made her own heart ache. Then she saw the tears welling is Astoria's eyes and it was like being punched in the stomach. Astoria was one of the few girls she felt close to and protective of. "He'll be fine guys. Right mom," Stella asked her voice strong despite her own urge to break down and cry in her mother's arms. Without waiting for an answer she crossed over to them and pulled both of the girl's into a hug. "We will get through this," she vowed gently and she believed it too. She knew that without Adrian nothing would be the same so loosing him was not an option in her mind.
Suddenly her mom placed a hand on her back. "Girls. He's in a coma. The doctor's say he's healing but the head injuries must have done something to put him in this state. Really his only magical injury is the deep cut to his arm and that was only because the knife he used was cursed. I...I don't know how to tell you or if any of you know but he tried to take his own life. From what the doctor's and school says he was extremely intoxicated and then he sliced his arm before attempting to jump out a window. Luckily and unluckily he hit his head and was knocked out cold before he could jump. That's why he has two head wounds. They still have hope of him waking up," Stella's Mother explained. "I'll give you three some time with him. I think I'll head home for a bit and take a nap while he is safe with all of you," she added before hugging each girl and leaving the room.
Tracey:
Tracey's head snapped up when Stella's mom said he was in a coma. "A c-coma?" She stuttered through her tears. "Oh, Adrian," Tracey sobbed, pulling out of the hug that the two girls gave her and approached his bed, sitting on the chair beside it. Tracey reached out to touch his hand, and it was slightly cold, scaring her even more. His lips were a slight shade of purple and it worried her even more. She squeezed his hand, hoping for a response, a twitch, but there was nothing.
Stella:
As her mother explained Stella watched as Astoria took a seat in one of the few chairs in the room. The girl looked extremely overwhelmed and Stella almost felt bad about dragging her along. She knew that Adrian would have wanted Astoria there though and so she was also glad to have brought her. When Tracey stuttered and then sobbed again Stella felt her heart skip a beat. "Bye mom. I'll owl you," she answered before hugging her tightly and letting a few tears trickle down her face. As soon as her mother pulled away to leave she wiped her eyes and turned to look at Tracey. "I heard that people in Coma's can still hear you. I don't know if it matters but maybe we can talk to him or something," she offered gently.
Tracey:
"I don't know what I'm supposed to say," Tracey replied, but she knew that was a lie. She have so much words in her head that she wanted to say and it's making her head whirl. "A-Adrian," she tried to speak straight but she stuttered. And, too low for the others to hear, she said, "I miss you."
Stella:
"You can just talk to him like normal," she suggested quietly before hearing Tracey stumble over his name. For some reason she almost felt like she was interfering on an intimate moment even though Adrian hadn't moved once. Slowly she walked over to Adrian's other side and took hold of his hand. "Hey almost brother. You really had me worried. I know you are gonna get better though and as soon as you do I'm never gonna let you out of my sight again. I know I have plenty of real brothers but life...life without you," she started her voice cracking and her blue eyes sparkling with tears. "Life without Adrian is not a life I am willing to live. You are going to get better or I'll revive you and kill you again myself," she joked pathetically before closing her eyes.
Tracey:
Tracey smiled at Stella's message, and said, "He'll probably scoff now if he heard you," in a quiet voice. Looking at the two girls, she asked, "Do you mind... giving me a minute with him?"
Stella:
Seeing Tracey smile made her smile back and then she sighed softly and nodded. "I suppose he would but I really don't care. I grew up with Adrian. My mother practically wanted him as yet another son. If he's gonna put us through this then he has to accept our thoughts," she answered thoughtfully. She couldn't help but wonder if Nikolas had heard of Adrian's state. Of her brothers Nik was closest to him. Her thoughts had just begun to wander when Tracey spoke up again. "Of course we don't mind, Trace. We'll be just outside," Stella breathed before turning to Astoria who was nodding. She then proceeded to walk over to the younger girl and take her hand before leaving the room.
Tracey:
"Thanks," Tracey breathed out quietly as the two girls left the room. Once the door clicked shut, she turned back to Adrian and touched his face gently. "You shouldn't have done that," she started, sighing as she went. "I -- I'm sorry, Adrian. For that fight, the awful letter..." Tracey began to choke on sobs again. "It was horrid of me. And I was crushed when you said we aren't friends anymore. Did you really mean that?" She asked, removing her hand from his face and wiping a tear that fell. She took his left hand and held it with both of hers. They were cold, and she rubbed them slightly to give him warmth. "Not that you'd answer, anyway. If you can really hear me, I want an answer when you wake up. If you remember, anyway..." Tracey trailed off, calming down slightly. "You know I'm here for you. Even though - even though you don't want to be my friend anymore. But you always don't believe me when I say it, and I don't know why. I say it all the time, but it still hasn't lost its meaning," she told him. As he was still unmoving, Tracey went on. "I hope you get better soon. I - I need you. Even if you don't need me. You can easily go off to wherever you want to be, but I can't, and I hate it..." She wiped more tears away. "It's so frustrating." Swallowing, she continued, "I hope you never ever do this again, Adrian. Did you know how scared I was? I ran to the hospital wing thinking that you were there, and what do I find? A pool of your blood, and you out of sight." Tracey didn't want to see that image again, ever. She shook her head in order to clear it. "Get better. Come back... for me. Wake up," she begged, leaning her forehead on his arm as she cried. "I - I love you, Adrian. Wake up."
Adrian:
As Tracey spoke Adrian's body remained motionless. If they hadn't known he was alright a normal person would have figured him to be dead. Very luckily for him he wasn't dead, even with his appearance so close to one of death his mind was extremely active. The moment Tracey first spoke he had placed her voice and began to dream of her. Stella was there too at first but now it was only Tracey and his every wish and dream was coming true. Every word she said was everything he had ever wanted to hear. Unfortunately he couldn't talk. No matter how hard Adrian tried to talk he couldn't and after awhile he realized he couldn't move. All his effort went into attempting to move and by the time Tracey was begging him to come back his eyes moved beneath his eyelashes. It was a nearly unnoticeable movement but it was progress. Adrian fought in his own mind, fighting the blackness and clinging to her voice and that's when he heard it. Three words that would heal his entire soul if he let himself believe them. And it was at that moment that his fingertips fluttered. Once again it was small and he was still fighting to wake but it was something.
Tracey:
As Tracey was holding his hand, she felt that his fingertips moved just a fraction of an inch, and it made her jump. "Oh my God," she breathed out. "You can hear me, oh my God. Adrian. I'm here, Adrian. Wake up, love," Tracey begged again. "Stella! Adrian moved his fingers," she called out, and turned her attention back to Adrian. "You can do it, I know you can. Open your eyes, love. I'm here, I'm here," Tracey chanted repeatedly and hugged his body. She was very hopeful now, unlike earlier. That small touch of his fingers on hers jolted her awake from the slur she was in this past week.
Stella:
Upon hearing her name Stella nearly jumped out of her skin. At what followed she actually jumped up from her place on the floor. Astoria had went to get something soothing to drink from the visitors lounge upstairs but Stella knew she would figure out where she was so she rushed back into the room. Her blue eyes found Tracey hugging Adrian and begging him to wake up. "Oh god. Please let this happen," Stella muttered softly feeling the tears she kept holding back spring to her eyes.
Adrian:
Suddenly Tracey's voice seemed clearer and louder. The dream he was stuck in was so vivid. For some reason she was begging him to wake up and he didn't know why. As far as he was aware he was awake he was just having trouble talking and moving. The pressure of her hug seemed to click in his mind and somehow the strength he had been forcing into attempting to move seemed to connect. His arms moved to weakly grasp the petite form that was practically atop his. It hurt like hell to move his left arm though and a moan escaped his lips. "Don't leave," Adrian attempted to say but the his voice was so soft and raspy that he was probably unable to be heard. As he opened his eyes he saw a head of dark hair with Stella in the background but almost immediately the light hurt and he closed them again.
Tracey:
Tracey gasped and more tears flowed from her eyes. "I - I won't leave. Never," she assured him. "You're awake, you're awake," Tracey repeated absentmindedly. "You're okay. You'll be okay, Adrian, you'll be okay." Tracey tightened her hold on him, burying her face on his neck. "I thought you left me for good," she cried on his shoulder.
Stella:
When she saw Adrian move the tears she had held back so well spilled from her sparkling blue eyes. She met his eyes and nodded softly not saying a word but saying a million things in a mere glance. She also noticed that he had closed his eyes as if in pain so she immediately pulled out her wand and closed the shade and dimmed the light. She moved to his side before leaning down while placing her hand on his shoulder. "You can open your eyes now, love." she breathed gently. "Don't ever scare us like that again," Stella added trying to sound threatening but just looking pathetic. Standing back up she looked at Tracey and Adrian and then turned and started to walk towards the door. "I'm gonna go get Astoria and then owl some people. My mom, Nik, Daphne, ectera," she explained lamely before slipping out of the room to leave them alone again.
Adrian:
Adrian felt extremely confused as Tracey talked at him and held onto him but he held her loosely with his right arm and let it be. When Stella spoke he opened his eyes slowly to find the room dim and then rolled them at her next comment. At the mention of Astoria he felt relieved and he didn't even know why because at that moment he honestly had no idea what was happening. "What happened," he rasped quietly. Adrian had been in a coma for a week and he figured out that he was in the hospital but everything before that was a blur. The last thing he remembered was fighting with Tracey. Finding out his dad was dead as well as his attempted suicide had been wiped from his mind. "I wouldn't leave...I...couldn't," he breathed unable to say what he really meant.
Tracey:
"Y-you tried to kill yourself. You cut your arm and you were about to j-jump from the Tower," Tracey stuttered, still holding on to Adrian. "Why, Adrian... why? Why did you want to leave me like that? It's not fair at all..." She said, crying quietly still. Tracey wasn't sure if Adrian could breathe properly as she's on top of him, but she stayed there because she didn't want to let go. "How are you feeling? Should - should I call a healer?"
Adrian:
It didn't shock Adrian to hear what he had done. He knew that he was stupid and weak. Worthless. Worthless people were the ones who tried to take the easy way out of life and he had tried to do just that. The only problem was that he couldn't remember why. "I don't know...I can't remember. The last I remember is fighting with you. I was cruel...so cruel. Life is cruel," he mumbled his brain fighting to put together words. The world was taking away the love of his life and Daphne had said not to even tell her that. When she asked how he was feeling he blinked from his thoughts. "I'm fine. My eyes hurt but Stella fixed the lights. I hurt everywhere but I don't want a healer. Not now," he trailed off confusion filling his face. He didn't like not knowing what he had done.
Tracey:
"You honestly don't remember?" Tracey asked cautiously. Merlin, now she had to break it to him in his fragile state. The gods wouldn't want to help her this time, she knew. Tracey sighed, finally letting go of Adrian's body but she was still holding his hand as she sat back down on her chair. "Adrian... I hate it that I'm the one that had to tell you. Again..." Tracey said gently. "Your father has passed away, love. I'm assuming that's why you did... what you did," Tracey finished, looking down at their intertwined hands. "I'm so sorry."
Adrian:
Upon hearing her question Adrian nodded the confusion reflected in his dark eyes. He felt a bit lost when Tracey moved away but he held onto her hand which calmed him. When her words hit him the memory of his dad's last letter to him flashed into his mind. "Oh god. That bastard," Adrian growled his voice breaking as tears welled in his eyes. He didn't cry often but in his weakened state the tears fell freely from his eyes. As the silent crying turned to sobs of pain Adrian slipped his hand from her grasp and turned onto his side, facing away from her. Adrian may have loved Tracey but being weak in front of her embarrassed him. It made him hate himself even more. That combined with the fact that he really had lost everything made him fall apart.
Tracey:
"Adrian," Tracey sighed. "It's... okay, Adrian. I'm here for you, I told you that. Please don't turn your back on me," she said softly. Getting no response, she climbed onto the bed and lied down beside him, rubbing his arm to soothe him. Tracey didn't speak anymore, as she knew that it wouldn't matter. There are just things that can't be fixed with words. Tracey continued to try to calm him down by her actions. She rested her cheek on his back as she waited for him to stop crying.
Adrian:
Had Adrian not been sobbing he would have laughed at her words. Literally he was turning his back on her and she wasn't going to take it. He loved her for that but at the same time he completely hated it as well. Her calming actions were not something he deserved but selfishly he loved it. Feeling her body pressed lightly behind his was soothing in a way nobody would ever understand. "You can't," he gasped through the tears thinking of his soon to be engagement to Astoria. That he remembered. He couldn't remember anything about the night of his suicide attempt but everything else was vivid. "Don't. Please don't," he begged through the tears unable to explain what he meant because he didn't have it in his heart to tell her they couldn't be together.
Tracey:
Tracey paused for a moment to think. "What do you mean I can't?" She asked, feeling confused. What was he on about? Dread filled Tracey's stomach and she swallowed heavily. "What... what is it? Is something wrong?" She asked with hesitation. Tracey hugged his waist to comfort him further as she waited for an answer.
Adrian:
Unhappiness washed over Adrian in waves as he struggled to stop the tears but couldn't because Tracey wanted to know what he meant. Feeling her hug him made him shudder and gently he pulled away her arm before turning to face her. "I had a dream...was it real Tracey," he asked begging her to be truthful with him. His dark eyes were still streaming tears and he looked like a lost puppy in a way. "All the things you said. Were they true," he added desperately wishing beyond anything that they weren't. His hand moved to cup her face lightly but almost frantically.
Tracey:
"A dream?" She asked curiously, pushing Adrian's hair away from his face. Tracey wiped the tears that flowed freely from Adrian's eyes. She realized then that he heard her confessions earlier, and she couldn't help but blush a little. Licking her lips, she said, "Yes. They're true," in a whisper. "They're true, Adrian," she repeated.
Adrian:
Adrian's eyes fluttered shut briefly when Tracey pushed back his hair so lightly and then wiped his tears. Nobody had ever done anything like that to him before and it was a new and interesting feeling. His eyes reopened just in time for him to see her blush and then lick her lips. God her lips. He wanted to kiss her so badly. Really kiss her for once. A kiss that was true and passionate not held back or angry. "You shouldn't love me," he exhaled barely making a sound but still looking from her eyes to her lips and holding her face. "I can't love you back. I wish I could," he muttered hating himself even more but now the tears were calming slightly. Thoughtlessly he leaned in and kissed her lips lightly. It was a brief, stolen kiss and he immediately felt bad.
Tracey:
Tracey mouth opened slightly in hurt and surprise. "W-what?" She asked, deathly quiet. "But you said..." Tracey trailed off as he remembered what Kevin said. He loved her. He told Kevin himself. But he was intoxicated... surely that's not the only reason why he said it? Her brows furrowing in dread, Tracey exhaled and was about say something when he suddenly leaned in and kissed her. Tracey couldn't help but close her eyes, but as she did, she started crying again. She felt so utterly stupid for believing that he loved her. Tracey wanted to scream, but she held her breath. She wanted to tell him that he really told Kevin that he loved her and he should stop lying, but she didn't do that either. Instead, she just said, "Oh." She wore her heart on her sleeve, and this is what happens. Tracey never felt so stupid in her life. "It's okay..." she said, not meaning it.
Adrian:
As he pulled back and saw Tracey crying Adrian felt nothing but hatred for himself and the life he had made for himself. "Please don't cry, Tracey," Adrian begged feeling his heart break all over again. He knew why he had wanted to die before. Life without Tracey was not what he wanted. It wasn't something he could possibly live with. "I...I never said I didn't," he attempted to explain all the while wanting to rip off his bandage and rip into the healing wound. "I do. I just can't. I ruined my own life to save someone else and now I can't have you," he explained still struggling to even admit it. So much so that not once did he say he loved her. He didn't want her to hear it because he felt like he would hurt her even more. Plus he was a coward. He couldn't even admit his feelings to the one girl that managed to make him feel anything at all.
Tracey:
Sniffling slightly, she looked up into his eyes and said, "Y-you do? You do love me?" Tracey asked, wishing he tell the truth for once. "W-why would you do that? Save someone else? I don't understand, Adrian... don't leave me hanging. Please," she begged, hugging him even closer. What was going on? Tracey's mind raced as she thought of the possibilities, but given her current state, she can't think of anything. Saving someone else? Who? And what for? All these questions swam inside Tracey's head, but she can't seem to ask them. Deciding to just wait for the answers, she remained silent and closed her eyes.
Adrian:
"I do...looo..ve you. Only you," Adrian vowed feeling his own skin flush a deep pink color as he looked away. Daphne was going to hate him for this. Hell Tracey was going to hate him for this. He was setting her up for heartbreak. "I'm selfless, Tracey. I don't ever stop to think of me so when I get an idea that can save someone's life I go with it. Whole heartedly," he began not wanting to tell her but know he had to explain. He wanted to be with her though and he knew that this was going to end any chance of that. "I told Daphne that I would get engaged to Astoria so that she wouldn't have to get a mark. I told her that I would become a death eater so that Astoria wouldn't have to. I didn't know any other way," he explained softly shame shadowing his voice. "I don't want to be a death eater. I hate them but I couldn't let them take her. She's my best friend. She's like my sister," he added trying to find a way to make it seem like a good plan even though he knew that it was stupid and reckless. "If Potter wins then we don't have to be married and she's free to find someone she actually loves but I couldn't make you wait. I was going to tell you but then everything hit me and I wanted to die. I'd rather die than live without you," Adrian said pathetically.
Tracey:
She gasped and her eyes widened like saucers at his confession. But her happiness was completely crushed with his next words. Tracey didn't know what to tell him. She just cried harder and put her face on his chest. "Y-you picked her! O-over me!!!" She accused, punching his chest, just to make the hurt go away. But alas, it didn't. "I can't believe this," she said, wiping her face with her palm. "A-Astoria?" She asked, more to herself than him. Would he do the same if it was her in Astoria's place? "I - I don't believe this," she said lamely as she stopped hitting him, and her arms fell limply on the bed. Tracey couldn't move. Adrian was getting engaged to Astoria. She was her friend. And Daphne... Daphne knew she loved Adrian. Why didn't she stop it? Feeling very betrayed and hurt, Tracey just lied there silently, praying for Stella to come back and take her home. She didn't want to see and talk to any of them. She just wanted to be alone.
Adrian:
"Tracey," Adrian cried out with she started to sob again and then accused him of picking Astoria over her. He hissed in pain when her hand hit his chest but he didn't stop her. He deserved as much physical pain as possible. As soon as he was out of the hospital he was going to try again and not fail this time. "I would never pick her over you. I picked her over myself. How the hell do you expect me to have picked you when I didn't even know that you loved me? As far as I was aware it was one fight and you gave up on me, Tracey. One stupid fight where you let me tell you off and you gave up completely," he explained the pain filling his voice. "If I could marry you I would but I can't go back on my word. That was why I tried to kill myself. I don't want this. If you have the audacity to believe I want this then you really don't know me. And maybe that's a good thing. Maybe you just think you love me but you really don't," Adrian babbled his words no longer making sense. "If you really think that badly of me for trying to save someone's life then maybe you should leave," he added lowly hating himself for even suggesting such a thing. He didn't want her to leave. It was clear in his eyes that he didn't but she didn't seem to believe him.
Tracey:
"How did you expect me to react, Adrian? Be happy for you?" She choked on a sob again. "Why did you tell me off, then? You always tell me off," Tracey retorted. "And you're telling me off right now. But I came back, remember? I'm here now!" She pointed out. "And you tell me this... I don't know what to do or what to say. It's just really fucked," she said, giving up and hugging him again. She so wanted to be with him, but she couldn't. Thinking of Astoria was the last thing on her mind right now. She hadn't even realized the meaning of what he said. "W-wait... He-he's recruiting? /Him/?" Tracey asked again. "Oh my God..." She held Adrian tighter, fearing that it'd be the last time they'd be together. When he gets the Mark, there would be no turning back. "Don't do this, Adrian. Don't. You can get the mark, don't do it..."
Adrian:
"Of course not! I guess I just didn't expect to be the bad guy for this," Adrian growled in exasperation. His head was absolutely killing him he could barely even stand to look at her because of what he had done. "I did it because I knew even then. I was pushing you away. And now I'm defending myself because if anyone is bad it's not me. Not for this. It's not like I could just not tell you," he explained not even making much sense of his own thoughts. When she hugged him again he shut up and confusion filled his eyes. "Yeah Voldemort is recruiting. He got Daphne and others. I couldn't let him have Astoria. He would break her. He would kill her," Adrian trailed off feeling scared at the thought of it again. "I don't want to. I have to. Find a way to save Astoria and I won't. I can't just let her die for my own selfish needs," he said shaking his head to himself. God his head hurt so much. "I've loved you since the first time we kissed. Years of not letting myself feel but you still had me the whole time. I don't want to do it, Tracey. I want you. You and life and fighting for the good side," Adrian cried the tears springing to his eyes again. Selfishly he still wanted her.
Tracey:
Tracey tried to stop crying as she thought of it. Her eyes were so tired and they felt sore and swollen. She didn't know how else Adrian could save Astoria. She grew up to believe that if you were Marked, there was no going back and you can't escape. Better to have the Mark than to be hunted down like a wild animal. "I - I don't know how else you could save her, Adrian," Tracey admitted in defeat. "I wish I knew that from the start, as it'd save me a lot of tears," she chuckled lightly, wiping away the tears. "I loved you from the start. Oh, love. Don't cry," Tracey told him quietly, wiping his tears with her free hand again. "It'll be alright." Lie. "We're gonna be okay, Adrian. All of us." Lie. Swallowing the lump in her throat, she kissed him again and said, "It's alright," through her own tears.
Adrian:
"Nothing will ever be alright again. My life is over and I took you down with me. I can't do this anymore. No more lies. Getting a mark will make me hate myself. Getting engaged to someone else is wrong and during the battle I'm not going to care if I live or die. I'll deserve death. All of that is the truth. The harsh unbearable truth. That's why I wish I had already died. That way none of this would happen," Adrian explained his voice getting colder and stronger as he went on and on. The tears dried up and his face went stoney. "I'm in pain and it's never going to end so physical pain is nothing to me. I prefer it," he added. "Don't coddle me. You deserve better and you shouldn't let yourself think otherwise," he stated dryly. "I'm going to become my father," he finished.
Tracey:
"You can't get yourself get killed, Adrian!!!" Not listening to him, she hugged him tighter, because she can't find words to say. Tracey couldn't even comfort him with words anymore -- what's the use of lying? It's not going to fine. They aren't going to be okay. Because of this war, they will all be broken forever. She had to face the inevitable, she was going to lose Adrian and all her friends because of this stupid war. "I don't want any part of it," she whispered absentmindedly. "The war." It was going to happen, though. She will fight against them, as she didn't believe in Voldemort's vision. Her father would surely disown her, but she doesn't care. Tracey will not fight alongside the Greengrass sisters and Adrian. Especially not now that he's getting engaged to Astoria. But she didn't say it, she didn't need it to be harder than it already is. "Can I... can I have this last night with you?" Tracey asked quietly, not looking at him. She wanted to be with him, even if it's for the last time.
Adrian:
Adrian was no longer truly listening to Tracey anymore. It's not that he didn't want to but he physically could no longer handle this conversation. Whether she liked it or not he wasn't willing to live without her but he wasn't going to say it. She didn't listen to him when he spoke like that even though he was telling the truth. "If that's what you want then who am I to deny it," Adrian said exhaustion clear in his voice. The cursed wound on his left arm was itching and he realized that it would likely scar meaning he would be marked on top of a hideous scar. He wasn't completely vain but he didn't need more to remind him of his stupidity.
Tracey:
"You should sleep," Tracey said, yawning. "It's been a long week," she admitted, more to herself than to him. "I've waited a week for you to wake up. Took you long enough," Tracey smiled sadly. She felt slightly better now, but it sort of feels the same. It's fucking awful, to say the least, but she was happy that Adrian was awake and that she got to tell him how she felt. Even when it was too late, it didn't matter. At least he knew. Tracey knew when she wakes up tomorrow, everything would change. She was glad that Adrian allowed her to stay with him, even if just for the night. Who knew if the engagement would be tomorrow? Tracey slightly felt the urge to run away, but tonight, she won't. It would be their last night, as she doesn't think that they'd spend time together anytime soon. She rubbed his back soothingly in attempt to ease his nerves for him to sleep. Tomorrow would be a different day for both of them and it would be hard to be without him, but she knew she had to move forward.
Adrian:
"A week. An entire week went by," Adrian answered feeling a bit surprised by how long he had been knocked out. He didn't even answer the part about sleeping since apparently he had done enough of it. Adrian knew that he wouldn't be able to sleep anyone. He was in too much pain. Both physically and mentally. He wished Daphne would fix this but he knew that she would always put Astoria first and she should. His life was a complete mess.
Tracey:
"Yes," Tracey answered, unconsciously snuggling onto Adrian's side, closing her eyes and ready to fall asleep. It had been a long week in which she stayed up into the wee hours of the morning. She rarely slept and ate, and it had taken it's toll. She didn't want to cry anymore, so Tracey decided to just sleep it off. In the morning, she would go back to Hogwarts and try to get her life back on track. She wasn't sure of that, but she could always try.
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