A harrowing abortion story...
My first memory of knowing about abortion in Ireland was at a very young age. I was confronted with pro life abortion pictures in front of the GPO on O’Connell street Dublin. These were disgusting photos that were being displayed because the issue of the 8th amendment was once again brought into focus because of a very sad situation known as Case X. For anyone who doesn’t know what Case X was about, it was a 14 year old girl who was molested and raped by a much older man and she fell pregnant due to this. Her parents tried to bring her to the UK so that she may obtain an abortion but before doing so they contact the Gardai about bringing the remains of the abortion back to Ireland to carry out DNA testing so that they could bring the man who raped their daughter to trial. After this phone call their call was reported to the Attorney General who then put in a prevention order stopping them from leaving the country. Instead of the man being put on trial the young girl and her family were. She ended up having a miscarriage at the of 14 when she was 5 months pregnant. This was because the 8th amendment protects the life of a fetus as much as the life of the mother. I think we can all agree that these were very sad circumstances indeed.
I have known many friends and family members who have made the trip to the UK to have an abortion and I have heard all their stories. Some of them found it to be a traumatic experiences and a sense of shame having to leave their home country to go and have an abortion, which in their home country was deemed illegal and wrong. However no one story I heard ever lead to any one of these women regretting the decision they made. There were many different reasons as to why they felt having an abortion was right for them, whether it was because they had no support from either the father (who always has the option to just walk away if it suits them but the woman never has this option) or no support from their family also, it could also be down to not being able to financially support another life as well as their own, or just very bad timing. All legitimate reasons and every woman should have a choice. Whatever the reason was none of them came to their decision lightly but all felt it was the right one for them.
Recently I was contacted by a friend of mine and she felt that with the referendum coming up next month that she had an important abortion story and experience that should be shared but she felt unable to do this herself for her own personal reasons. So she asked me if I would and of course I was happy to help her in this way. This is a more harrowing experience and a very sad experience for many reasons but a very important story to tell as it is the reality for a lot of women who don’t have access to abortion. So let me tell you her story in her own words as it was sent to me...
‘A year and a half ago I found out i was pregnant. I’d always been so careful, I was completely caught off guard. Unfortunately the father was no longer in the picture and he wanted nothing to do with it. I didn’t care...I wanted it. The first thing I felt when I found out was happiness, despite the situation I was surprisingly positive about it all. I wanted that baby. I was keeping it.
I called to tell my parents who shockingly completely disapproved and told me there were not there to help.
I was 25, I’d had a really rough year at the time. I’d had to completely start my life over after the end of a long term relationship. I had e334 in my bank account and was so emotionally all over the place and now i was alone... The father and my family both wanted no part of it.
I tried to keep strong, I kept my baby for 8 weeks. I eventually got to the stage of realizing I couldn’t do it alone no matter how much I wanted to. I was barely coping with life in general, what kind of life could i give a child? So I decided the best thing for everyone was to have an abortion. I hated that decision but I knew it was the right one.
Now the problem is abortion is illegal. As I said I had no support from anywhere and I literally had no cash. I was desperate. I found out through a friend that there was a doctor who could help point me in the right direction, and they set up an appointment for free. The doctor was so lovely, so understanding, He explained the only way I could legally have the operation was through a miscarriage and that I would have to force a miscarriage myself.
I was so horrified but I felt so trapped. I didn’t have a choice. He explained that I would have to have a male collect a prescription for Misoprostol, a drug for stomach ulcers. He instructed me that I would have to take one orally and insert one every hour for as long as it took until it worked...until I ‘passed’ it. He warned me that in choosing to do this it was going to be a very horrific experience. It makes you bleed uncontrollably, it makes you sick beyond measure, women have ended up in hospital and it was very dangerous. I had no other option as I saw it, I was so scared. But I went ahead with it...
With a friend keeping an eye on me i started to take the pills. I had warned her that no matter how much I begged, do not bring me to the hospital unless I physically passed out. This was the start.
It will forever be the worst day of my life. I took those pills for 10 hours and it didn’t work. 10 hours I spent crying in horrific pain, bleeding everywhere, I was sick all over myself, I couldn’t breath. The pain was indescribable. physically and mentally. I genuinely feared for my life at the end of it and I had to stop. I couldn’t go on anymore, I was distraught.
I went back to the doctors the next day and had a scan. The baby had died but was still inside of me. I literally doubled over with guilt and pain. I’ve never got so excruciatingly sad.
Now I ‘qualified’ for surgery to remove it. I had to wait 8 days for it. I had to carry my dead baby for 8 days with my body still thinking I was pregnant, having all the symptoms. I had to carry the baby knowing what I’d done, knowing how much I’d wanted it.
I still have my pregnancy test, I still think about it daily, it will never leave and I feel sad all the time about how it had to happen.
But I don’t regret it. That decision I made was the best decision I could have made, I was in no position for a baby and I’m so glad I get to start a family on my own terms and in the right situation now.
I never want anyone to go through what I had to, I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. No one has the right to tell you what to do with your body, your life. People like me get swept under the carpet and forgotten about because we are afraid to speak up.’
This is a very sad story and I feel awful that my friend had to go through this and I wish no woman in Ireland every had to face a situation like this but the reality is because of the 8th amendment we do and we are faced with these circumstances. So it is time for change and it is time to Repeal the 8th amendment for all the women and girls of Ireland. Give us bodily autonomy, trust that we do know what is best for our bodies and our lives. Let us move into a fairer and more equal Ireland. Lets leave sad stories like this in the past along with other shameful parts of our history like the Magdalena laundries and mass childrens graves. Please everyone, man and woman get out and vote on the 25th of May and vote YES to REPEAL THE 8TH!!!
#repealthe8th #womensrights #trustwomen #abortionstories #voteyes #togetherforyes
