duckie and daddy vs. maladaptive thought patterns
I manage them with therapy, coping, and medication that on my own I forget to take.
Daddy makes sure I know I need to take them, as he sets alarms AND reminders for the times he can't tell me directly.
Just to be safe, he sets an additional reminder 30 minutes after I'm sposed to have had my dose.
When he is able to check in, the first thing he asks is if I remembered to take my meds.
Most days, I roll my eyes and say "yes, Daddy!" And it gets me the ever so coveted
But those days when I forget the reminders because I'm so caught up in the moment that i ignore don't see them until the tears-set-in and the panictakesover, reality shifts and I melt inside my head & it gets all WelcomeToTheFreakShow... when he asks "have you taken your meds?"
He patiently prompts me step by step, soothing murmurs speaking softly, coaching my companions into their safe spaces; quieting their urge to watch me burn, calming the need for battle.
Take your meds little duck, let me help you help yourself
Accepting apologies for being like this [again], while he dismisses the necessity, stating that I don't need to be sorry for existing.
Through short stories and redirection, yes he takes all the time in the world, helps me return to baseline. He sets up a new routine, teaches it to me, holds my hand and walks beside me while I learn about my world a little more.
The next time I forget, the response time is quicker. The demons are slower. They come out to play but they're easier to wrangle back.
A longer while later, I forget again. The world starts to melt, the way crayons do when you heat them against a canvas; ribbons of lush wax dripping patiently in their place. My friendlies sit at attention, ready for action, but stay sitting pretty in their cages. A low growl is all i note, reminiscent of a thunderbird rumbling against the storm rolling in.
My advisors sleep and the storm moves on; more time passes before they wake again.
Daddy watches me grow, keeping me safe and sound, learning and growing with me.
It's okay, Daddy, I've got this. I know what to do.